Happy Annual Culling Day

We've culled eight garbage bags of stuff - and I'd say 'so far' but in deference to my husband, I am stopping.  Anything else I identify as 'good to give away' will count for our 2017 taxes.  He's been inventorying like a mad man for hours and he deserves a break.

And there's a football game on soon that he's dying to watch.  I have no idea what teams.  I never know.  But he's excited to watch and that will make for a fun day of me asking what just happened when I hear him exclaim or hear the crowd go nuts.

We have low-key plans for this evening - we carved off three rib eye steaks from the Christmas roast prior to cooking it so we have a nice dinner planned.  Might trek to the grocery store for some mushrooms to saute with the steaks...for us, not H..  He wouldn't touch a mushroom if his life depended on it.

I'm actually feeling 'off' today - would say it's sinus but not sure.  A little achy and just out of sorts. I slept like a log but woke up feeling so tired....maybe a cold brewing.  Hope not 'cuz work is in a few days -

I might need to eat protein - I've gotten out of that morning habit during the break and perhaps I need something besides a biscuit and honey.

It's cold and gray here today - not sure if we'll get rain but it's past noon and it hasn't burned off yet.

I'm not sure what 2017 will bring - like much of America, 2016 has left me reeling and feeling more than a bit wary of what our future holds.  We've elected an ass and I think we're all going to reap the consequences of that fact - I (emphasis on I) didn't elect him - but someone did.  He's unfit for office and I write those words aware they are harsh.  I realize it's the President I'm speaking of and I've had quite a few that I haven't been all that supportive of in my lifetime and never said anything even remotely that harsh about any of them.  (Maybe Bush Junior but he's stellar in comparison to now). I keep looking for 'what can be done to make this right?'.  J. says there's constitutional provisions that Congress can invoke an article that will assert he is 'unfit for office' - but that will likely never happen.  We all hoped for the Electoral College solution, too - and we know that didn't result in any change.

Still, it's a New Year - fresh beginnings.  Fresh starts.  One year closer to retirement so that's a good thing!!  I'm in the 'definitely less than 10 year' count down - and maybe even less than 5.  We'll see what happens with the stock market.

Happy New Year!

The Returns are Out

J. is trekking to Costco to take back some items we ended up not keeping.  Example:  a super cute reversible jacket for me - only $9.97 and not exactly my first color choice (light blue) - and I loved it EXCEPT no pockets.  That's a deal breaker 'cuz I need somewhere to put my freezing cold hands.  I considered keeping it 'cuz at that price, it's nice - but I know I likely will never wear it so better to let it go vs. adding something to my overflowing closets.  Yes, plural.  I have a lot of clothes.

Also an assortment of other items that either didn't fit or we decided against.  I feel bad for him standing in a likely long return line but am grateful he's going today to get stuff out of the house. And to get the credit on our account before the billing cycle closes.  As always, Christmas results in 'what the heck' bills this month.  And next.

We also have a fair amount of donation items ready to load up and give away as well.  Always feels so good to lighten up around here.

The family is back on the road from Portland and will arrive sometime this evening - hopefully, they won't be driving through a huge snow storm this time and the drive will be easier (relatively speaking).  Long car trips are always hard and I admire their tenacity to get to/from even in the face of four long days in a car.  I'd be nuts, frankly - but that's just me.  Car rides and road trips always sound fun at the planning stage but the execution of same is always just hard.  Looking forward to having them here tonight and it was so fun to message my cousin with 'see you tomorrow' yesterday afternoon.

I went to our County Office of Ed yesterday to pick up pay stubs and then went to the office for an hour or so to do a couple things that I intended to get to at home but never did.  Those two small items had me feeling overwhelmed at the thought of 'needing' to get them done so it felt great to have those feelings resolved.  Five days left of the break and I'm already dreading the return - and I'm sure many others feel the same.  This treasured annual time is always followed by the depressing dark cloud of going back in January - it's the circle of life in a district that shuts down for two weeks at Christmas.

B. is working 1/2 days this week and will have a long weekend - he's heading to Nashville for New Year's eve and I'm sure he will have a blast.

H. is......I have no idea what H. is up to.  I know he's rarely home and leaves in the middle of the night.  I'm fed up with him and taken to just trying to avoid him - seeing him makes me so angry - because I really, truly don't want him here - there, I said it.  I know that sounds harsh for a Mom to say about her son but it's how I feel.  Sometimes, I think me moving out is the better option - I'd have my own space and not be confronted daily with the fact that I'm living with someone I don't trust.

It's a crystal clear, blue sky day and the blue jays are deeply appreciating the peanuts I put out yesterday.  I've started just putting out 10-12 nuts at a time so if it rains, we don't waste too many...and if it does rain, I go out and clean out the tray right away.  I don't want them to look for food and find peanut soup.

Time to get to the chore list.  I've done a pretty decent job of getting stuff done this break and still have lots to do.  Feels good to make a point of accomplishing something every day - even if it's doing a little yard clean up every time I'm out with the dog.

Morning Christmas Eve

Started the day off with yard work...another storm accomplished ridding the maples of more leaves. Thankfully, one is now naked and the other has just a few left.  I also trimmed all the dead off the plants in the patio pots - I'm toying with the idea of somehow covering them for 'winter' but having never done that, I'm not sure what to use.  Saran Wrap?  Wax paper weighted down with stones? (We don't have any stones so that might be a problem).  I think they will be OK but if we really do have frost warnings, I will at least throw dish towels over them for the coldest nights.

Visitors safely made it to Portland and we had a fun time - we made fudge (which I've never done) and it's delicious!!  It was a fun visit and we're looking forward to having them return on their drive back home next week.

B. sent a card to all of us - and enclosed a gift card for me - thanks to him and my sweet cousin, my Starbucks card is well loaded!  His card is super sweet.  I know he'd shudder at the 'sweet' description but it is.  It really warms the heart to have someone who is kind, funny, big-hearted and missing us like crazy - as we are him.  He will be with friends this evening and I know the Mom of the family he is with put the presents we sent under their tree - 'cuz he asked me.  He said 'Jeff's mom wants to know if the presents are all wrapped'.  I'm sure he'll have a wonderful time - but we sure are missing him.

H.?  I don't know what to say about him these days.  I'm bitterly angry and beside myself with his shenanigans and feel powerless and pissed off.  I've told him he needs to leave - and I mean it.  But I realize he has nowhere to go and no money to get there or support himself.  But I'm not kidding - I'm not deviating from this plan and keep reminding both him and J. that he needs to get out.  Find a job; do whatever - but I don't want him here anymore.  I'm tired of being lied to repeatedly; tired of his stupid denials; tired of him taking advantage of our generosity and hospitality.  I'm just so damn tired.

Maybe he's in a hard place right now in his head - I've been there and I understand.  But I was also there in my early 20's and the one glaring difference?  I was still supporting myself and going to school.  So if he's having emotional health issues, he needs to get treatment and still figure out how to live a life....not here.

So it's not exactly the merriest of Christmases this year and that's OK.  There's still presents under the tree and good food to be enjoyed.  And wine.  Lots of wine.  :-)

Already approaching the 1/2 way point of the break and as always, it goes by so incredibly fast.  I have things I need to do - committed to doing - but I keep postponing.  Next week.  I will get to things next week -

Might head out this evening with travel mugs full of cocoa and look at lights.  We haven't done that in a long time and it will be fun.  I'm sure H. won't be with us 'cuz he's rarely here...and you're probably thinking 'well isn't that a good thing since you don't want him there now anyway?'.  And true - he's not here - but we often have no idea where he is or what he's doing and it's not a permanent 'not here'. He just hangs out with various people.

I'm watching baking shows!!  And planning a quick grocery run.  I've been craving Mexican Hominy like crazy and need to get supplies to make it.  And also getting the makings for Burgundy Mushrooms which simmer for 9 hours and are delicious!!

Visitors are Coming

J. fired up the piano this morning and put in the Christmas disc on 'auto play' - so we're doing chores whilst listening to uplifting music.  Chloe seems confused - is this Christmas morning?  If it is, shouldn't we all be in the living room and where are my new toys?  Excitement is in the air!

We decided to use some 'restoration' product on the cabinets which leads to having to do ALL the cabinets lest they be 'uneven'.  And then you step back and think 'what in the hell were we thinking' 'cuz while they look 'better', it's still a huge undertaking and Lord knows, we have plenty else to do to prep for 'guests'.  H. cleaned the cabinets awhile back and scrubbed so hard, he took the finish off.  So they honestly look pretty awful in some places and I really want to get them painted - but not yet. Someday.  I'd love a remodel but...no.  Not happening.

Thank goodness these 'guests' will take us as we are - 'cuz there will be things that need doing, the house will be presentable...and they don't judge so that's great!  I won't be frantically trying to do every little thing.  Have you seen Baseboard Buddy?  'cuz I almost bought one thinking 'that would be such a great help'.  Baseboards are the least of it.  Much like cabinets.  But oh well.  It's not noon yet so...I have plenty of time.  LOL.

We teased B. with a 'we got a new dog' text.  And then sent him a picture of our new Christmas decor. He said 'I was excited for a minute'.  No, Chloe is all the dog we can handle at the moment.  I said 'maybe we'll get a new dog once we've moved to Reno and aren't planning to travel' and J. said 'we will need a St. Bernard with a keg of brandy on it's neck in Reno'.  No.  We won't.  J.'s dachshund Schnappsie loved the snow!

Guess I'd better take my day to the next level and get dressed.  No errands (for me) to run but plenty to do.  I've wrapped a fair amount - J. said 'the most wrapping you've done in a while'.  Just decided to wrap downstairs instead of taking everything upstairs, setting up wrapping tables, etc. - and then having to haul it all back down.  Guess having a lazy 23.5 year old in the house has it's advantages 'cuz he's either never here or sleeping so little risk he will see something he shouldn't.

And he's lucky his Christmas isn't cancelled - yet.  Putting his stuff in garbage bags in his car sounds like a plan.  And I just might do it.

I need to do some more baking so our guests will have plenty of treats.  And to use up the dough so it doesn't go to waste.

Merry will arrive at some point.  She always does.  The music helps -

Christmas Galore

Thank you to my brother who sent a wine gift basket - I don't have his address so I have no way to properly thank him - I will Facebook message him but he doesn't respond to those so....it's a great gift made more so by my craving for sugar cookies.  I'm devouring the small box of cookies in the basket and am thankful I don't have to go bake some.  Plenty of dough in the fridge but I'm not in the mood for rolling, cutting, etc. - we baked quite a bit over the past few days and will bake again.  But tonight?  Not happening.

Thanks also to my sister for my favorite popcorn tin!!  LOVE caramel and cheese mixed together and we almost bought some at WalMart yesterday but am so glad we didn't.  A welcome treat!

As a gift to myself, I procured an XBox One set for a friend's son.  She is on a tight budget this holiday because she lost her ex husband and her son lost his dad and their entire savings account went to flying back to VA for his funeral.  Giving this gift is a gift I gave to myself...a reminder of how blessed we are and how grateful I am to be able to do this for a friend.  Santa delivered it to our house today and I will be taking it to them on Thursday morning.

It makes me joy-filled and I need that.  I am sad - about B. not being home.  About H. being an asshole of ginormous proportion.  It's not the merriest of Christmases this year and it's hard to pretend that it is.

I was at Target on Sunday and procured a weiner dog Christmas decor item.  He lights up and has a sweater and hat on.  J. says he's for outside but his sweater will be soaked so we're putting him in our entry way.  He was on sale for 30% off and I just couldn't resist - we've passed on him year after year but this year?  We bought it!!

I will hopefully find some merry at some point.  I'm sure I will - three generations of cousins arriving on Thursday evening and that's sure to be fun!

It's a Great Break

Can't believe two weeks have passed since my last post.  Yikes!  Time is flying by.

At work, we counted down the days until Thanksgiving break and then before we knew it, Winter Break was upon us.  Off for 17 days IN A ROW - the mind boggles.

I promised myself I would not look back on these days and think I wasted them - so for the most part, we've been keeping pretty busy.  It 'helped' that Mother Nature brought a storm that thrashed our yard so badly, it's been days of never-ending clean up.  The Japanese maples are losing their leaves and were encouraged by huge wind to do so.  They are so pretty but geez - they are a pain in the toukas to clean up every winter.

Yesterday, I started wrapping and organizing - we are shipping gifts and treats to B. today - and while I wrapped for him, I wrapped for everyone!  Using the higher counter in the study vs. schlepping things upstairs.  Guess that's one advantage to having adults in the house - no worry about trying to be super secret.  I've got a few more things to wrap but it's likely wrapping will be done completely by this evening.

I've baked cookies and am backing more cookies and brownies today.  I'm also attempting to make B. some sort of 'tree' - it's pathetic but it's the thought that counts.  Even the least crafty person on the planet can find things on the web and put something together.

I have a CT scan of my 'face' this afternoon - trying to figure out why my sinuses aren't draining.  At the time I made the appointment, late afternoon seemed best but now, I wish I'd scheduled it for next week.

We have cousins arriving Thursday evening for a one night stay and then stopping again on their way back from Portland next week.  I'm resisting the urge to frantically clean - but there is some tidying happening and plenty of 'stuff' being organized, put away, given away.  Mainly, I'm using the 'guests' as strong motivation to keep going - and I frequently can be heard saying 'we're not moving that to Reno so out it goes'.

I made the decision to not pursue a job outside my current district - I couldn't imagine commuting after 10 blissful years of not.  It's pretty hard to give up a 5 minute drive each way - and after traveling to Lodi last week in a bad storm, I realized 'I don't want to be driving to/from work daily in this stuff.  Ever'.

OK - I'm hopping in the shower so I can go outside and continue cleaning up.  I cleaned up the gross sludge in the bird seed trays and the blue jays have been here this morning looking for nuts.  I will put out a few and refill often vs. putting out a lot and having the next storm create seed sludge.  It's gross.  Baking, more wrapping, more tidying and eventually heading to the local hospital for the darn scan -

Winter Break 2016 is going to go down as the most productive ever - I can feel it.

OH - and I'm officially down 10 pounds as of this morning!!  Some of that is in jeopardy with Christmas treats everywhere - but for the most part, I stick with little to no sugar and eat as carefully as I can.  It's working -

Somewhat Restful Sunday

I did go to work today - but only stayed a couple of hours.  I trudged through a few things that were 'must do' and then realized 'hey, I think I can finish up tomorrow'.  No meetings on my calendar so...I think I can compile and complete what needs to be done without too many additional weekend hours.

I hate weekend hours. I really do.

I've got some baby shower gifts to get ready (for boss) and have to wrap a Christmas gift for our annual office party - which is (miraculously) this Tuesday.  It's usually the Friday before the break and we all just dread having to attend a work commitment on what should be an evening when we bolt out the door as soon as possible and start our break.  Glad it's earlier.

J. is going to trek to Costco to gas up my car - the fuel light's been on for a few days and even though I have no drives planned, better to get it filled on a quiet Sunday.

The hardest part of Winter is the absolutely freezing feet - all the time.  I'm miserable with cold feet and have no idea how to fix it.  Wait!  I just put Toe Warmers on the tops of my socks and slipped on my slippers.  And I'm going to make hot decaf tea.

Only 10 work days left until the break!!  I can do this!!

Restful Saturday

The minutes tick by and I think 'I should get to work.  I really need to go to work.  There's a lot to do at work'.

It's approaching 1PM and I am officially saying 'I'm not going to work'.

Not today.  Tomorrow, definitely and for basically a full day.

But today?  I chillax at home.  King Arthur delivered the best chocolate chip cookie mix to the house so I will make H. a batch of really delicious cookies.  Give him a treat.  Started the day with a cheery 'Good Morning, H.  What are your plans today?' to make up for reaming him yesterday.

It's just a ticket, after all.  Shit happens.  Lately, a lot happens to him but oh well.  The first accident in the series of auto mishaps has been over a year ago (though it feels like yesterday).  How do I know that?  'Cuz the annual torture of 'vehicle registration due in December' happened so...we bought J.'s new car about a year ago.  And we did that to give H. the old Camry to use.

We awoke to the news of a huge warehouse fire in Oakland - a rave event was happening there.  9 confirmed dead and many more missing.  All young people out for a good time.  Sort of put things in perspective.  Prayers to those awaiting news of where their loved ones are.  Sad for the community and our area.

I've done a little cyber shopping for the men in my life.  Hubby has identified two things he wants and I've given the OK to 'procure away, Sir'.  Reminding him that I would enjoy some cash for gaming - whether it's casino or Facebook - that's my Christmas wish.  B.'s main gift was purchased when he was here and will arrive this coming week.  I've also gotten a few little things and will get some 'treats' to include in the Christmas in a Box we are building for him.  H. has a list, too and there's items steadily arriving.  I have to wrap a couple family gifts and get them shipped off.  We don't do Christmas cards anymore so nothing to worry about there.

We finalized and paid for all the cruise excursions and extras - and will make the final cruise payment on the last work day before the Winter Break.  We have that long to pay so why not wait a bit?  We're both getting excited about the cruise - it's all new to us both and that will be a lot of fun to experience all these things together.  Nice excursions at our three ports of call - Mazatlan, Cabo and Puerto Vallarta.  Two full sea days before the ports and one full sea day after - I think I will love the at sea days the most for just the simple permission to veg.  On a lounge chair near a pool.  And/or in the casino.

At some point today, the men here are supposed to begin working on Christmas Decorating 2016. So far, there's no activity - but J. did purchase the 'new' light projector we are going to try - it's a trade-off to avoid having to put up the lights on the house - which is every one's least favorite job of the Christmas season.  Yard decor and the new projector and we might be able to call the outside 'done'.

Then hopefully on to the inside - soon, I hope.

It's so cold - my feet are in fleece slippers but feel like blocks of ice at the end of my legs.  Time to get moving and warm up, I suppose.

Losing My Shit

I've been watching the status of the case I almost served on the jury for - periodically checking the court website to see what's happening.  Jury trial still proceeding though according to the timeline the judge presented, it should be wrapping up and in the hands of the jury by next week at the latest.

I don't know what compelled me to do this - but I entered our last name into the database - and guess what?  There's a pending case on record for H.!  What, you ask?  Us too!  The date of 'infraction' was 11/22 and it's set for 'appearance' or 'due' on 12/20.

He swore the cop told him it was a warning - and when I said 'get your ass out to your car NOW and bring me the paperwork', he did.  No sign of it being a warning.  It's a ticket for going 75 in a 55 zone and it's a ticket.

I totally lost my cool - and I admit when it comes to parenting him lately, 'my cool' is in short supply.

I don't know what to do - I honestly don't understand what is happening with him.  Counseling?  He can go as often as he wants but doesn't make it a priority.  School?  He's going - but I am in serious doubt at this point that he's passing.  He's just a wreck.

Friend drama....that's what he always says.  He's got himself so immersed in other people's crap - he's not dealing with his own.

I am angry that he never mentioned he'd been pulled over.  As if we wouldn't figure it out?  What was he going to do when the 'bill' for the ticket arrives in the mail in a couple weeks?

I'm more sure than ever that he's going to have his license suspended.  And I'm thinking he may actually have to appear vs. pay a fine 'cuz the DMV is going to see how many points he has at this point and make him show up before the judge.

Merry Christmas.

I think I'll make paying the fine (if we can pay a fine) his Christmas present.  That's it.  A copy of the check I'll mail to pay the fine wrapped in a box.

He should pay the fine, you say?  Yes, he should....but his savings is dwindling weekly and he can't afford things like this and still finish paying for school.

And no, there's no way for him to get to school on public transit.  No way.

I came home after a long, long day of negotiations in which I realized that it's likely I will be working quite a bit over the two week break to get the negotiations stuff drafted in time for our January board meeting.  I'm not thrilled about that but it is what it is.  J. made me a beer with a shot (or two) of Fireball whiskey in it.  I drank about half, ate crap for dinner (and a great steak lovingly prepared by hubby so I had protein with the crap) and am watching The Great American Baker recorded last night.

Heading up to bed shortly.  Hoping for a night of decent sleep, no alarm clock and then heading to the office for at least part of the day both Saturday and Sunday.

Everything will work out OK - one way or another, it will work out.

Departures

I left my family home dozens of times in my life - I traveled to Phoenix for pretty much every major holiday through most of my college years - and I never remember feeling emotional when it came time to leave and go back to 'my life'.  Not once.  I was far more likely gleeful to be back 'on my own' with no judgmental people hanging around criticizing my every move.

Ahh....memories.

B. is totally emotional when he leaves here and I am simultaneously so emotional myself - it's a hard thing, these departures.  We give each other huge hugs, big "I love you"s and he's off - and this time, we feel even more bereft 'cuz we're not sure when the next scheduled time together will be.  He's off on a bunch of trainings, etc. - and at the moment, he thinks 'late next year' may be when he's home again.  So this time next year.  An entire year.

That can't be.

Maybe we'll head to Nashville for a long weekend in late Spring - post cruise.

H. is still in bed - he actually was in bed all day yesterday - not feeling well.  Had a bad night of little sleep so slept most of the day.  I saw him briefly as I headed up to bed last night.  I hope he's feeling better.  He and his brother were planning a day of hanging out together but that didn't happen - and I think B. was pretty disappointed about that.

I'm going to get another cup of coffee, something to eat and then hop in the shower.  Need to work a longer day today.  These darn reports take so much time and I'm at the point where I feel like I'm getting closer to 'done' and then I realize there's still so much to do.  There's always so damn much to do.  

Job security!

Winding Down

It's the last evening of Thanksgiving break and the last night B. is here.  We made homemade lobster mac 'n cheese for dinner and he invited a good friend over to join us...so the house is filled with guy laughter and humor.  The dinner was delicious and I was a great hostess and allowed our guest the last slice of pumpkin pie for dessert.  The pie I'd been craving all day and skipped a glass of wine with dinner to have.

Backup plan was a small scoop of cookies 'n cream ice cream with some chocolate sauce on it.  My blood sugar will show a spike but it's the last night of the break and I wanted a little dessert.

J. will take B. to Oakland tomorrow morning and hopefully won't hit too much traffic on the way back.  I suggested we try to get B. to do AirBart but the flight is early enough, J. should be OK. Getting stuck in east bound traffic over the Altamont on the Sunday after Thanksgiving will be horrible and I sure hope he avoids it.

I worked a bit today in my office and plan to go in again tomorrow - trying to get ahead a bit.  There are only three weeks until Winter Break and it's going to absolutely fly by.  I'm so behind on so many big projects and I honestly am just shocked that it's already just a few weeks before Christmas.  I love how quickly time goes when it comes to work but geez...it's ridiculous.

Work story:  we have a new IT person.  He's young, ambitious, smart and really nice.  A little shy - not unusual for IT staff.  We were talking through some projects that are in process and he said 'I'll schedule it for Christmas break'.  And I said 'OK, but you will be here all by yourself - track your time and let me know how much you work and we'll arrange comp time'.  He said 'Comp time?  I know everyone else will be off but I'm new and don't have enough vacation to be off'.  I realized he thought he had to work those two weeks.  I was so happy to tell him 'we are closed those two weeks!  We are ALL OFF the full break - every year!'.  He was so excited!  It was so fun to totally make someone's day/week/month - he had no idea we are closed those two weeks.

I enjoyed a really quiet day at home yesterday until the guys arrived home around 9:30PM.  I felt like I did a lot of little things that needed doing and still enjoyed some down time.

I watched all four 90 minute episodes of the Gilmore Girls on Netflix and have to say I was a little disappointed.  The 'vibe' felt all wrong - Rory was all angst filled through every episode and her natural spunk and positivity were nowhere to be seen.  And after waiting YEARS for everything to be nicely packaged and wrapped up - the closure we needed after the abrupt cancellation of the show - there was some of that but it totally ended with a HUGE cliff hanger.  The only hope is that there will be additional 90 minute episodes - Netflix alludes to that by calling the 4 episodes 'Season 1' - but I sure hope we aren't going to be left hanging AGAIN.  The series abrupt end was hard to handle - but it was subtle.  They tried to cram as much as they could into the last episode.  But this cliff hanger? The last line of the 4 episodes?  There's nothing subtle about it.  I can't wait to hear what friends at work thought about the shows - we've all been waiting so long -

I honestly can't wait to crawl into my comfy, warm bed tonight and sleep a long sleep - I feel very tired.

Before Noon!

I'm embarrassingly proud of being showered and dressed before 11AM!  I've been pretty much 'dressing for dinner' the past few days so to be clean and clothed before lunch is a milestone.

Dog is snoozing all snuggled in her bed.  Dishwasher has been run and recycling sorted.  I'm getting ready to inventory the Goodwill items we identified yesterday - everywhere we were, we continued looking for things to pass on to someone else.

GilMORE the Merrier

Huge thanks and love to my amazing husband who forked over control of the remote control whenever asked the past week.  The Gilmore Girl marathon (SEVEN days and nights - every single episode) was loads of fun and while I missed quite a few (sleep and work related), I saw a lot and it was glorious.

In another demonstration of his perfectness, he took the boys down to Tulare for the day so I HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF ALL DAY TODAY - and am enjoying the new Netflix Gilmore Girls marathon as well - four 1.5 hour episodes, each a season - catching up and giving us diehard fans a little closure (hopefully).  I never accepted the hodge podge end to the series and was so disappointed in how the show had to end key story lines abruptly - so I'm hoping to feel a little better when the last season of the mini-series ends.

I should go into work today so I can work when I'm not missing time with B. - but I remind myself that B. and H. are likely going to be doing paint ball tomorrow so...there's time for work later.

Leftovers (including pie!) and my computer - I'm a happy girl right now.

November Brings

November is always a hard month for me.

This past Monday was the 50th 'anniversary' of the day my dad died.  Anniversary sounds celebratory which is absurd.  But that milestone day was looming all month and when it arrived, I felt as expected.  That day shattered our lives and left us all shattered and broken.

Sure, we've all made it 50 years past that horrific event - and that's something to be glad for.  I've had a blessed life - but this month brings all kinds of introspection and 'what if' scenarios - and the 50th time this day has arrived certainly packed more of a punch than usual.

A friend of mine lost her sister suddenly and their entire family is coming together - tons of siblings there for each other and supporting a mom who lost her 72 year old daughter.  It made me sad to realize that there's no support like that happening in my family - ever.  But it is what it is and nothing to be done to fix it.  We're all fully ensconced in being what we are to each other - minimal though it may be.

Yesterday would have been my mom's 92nd birthday - and I miss her a lot everyday but especially on her birthday.

Life moves on - and this week, it's been all about lots of food and celebrating together.  We had our surf and turf dinner last night - it was delicious and we have plenty of lobster left to make lobster mac 'n cheese in a couple days for B.'s last dinner at home for awhile.

Today, the dishwasher has been run 4 times (so far) and we've got a feast well in process.  Dinner should be soon.

My Aunt M. is on the cover of the November AARP magazine and there's a great article about where she lives - a community where older people help raise foster kids - it's a really great place and she's an amazing woman.  I'm so excited for her - and so blessed to really know her because as great as the article about her is, there's no way they can convey her true magicness in print.  You have to really know her to know how special and gifted she is and what a blessing it is in my life to say 'I really know her!  How lucky am I?'

Another evening of too much food - and pie!!  Can't wait for pumpkin pie!

Love you, Mom & Dad - and hope you are enjoying a heavenly Thanksgiving.  Thank you for giving me a great start - and Dad, I sure wish I knew you much longer than a little more than six years.

Early...So, So Early

I stumbled downstairs at 3:30ish this morning - I'd been awake since 2 and I finally just 'gave up' and decided to come downstairs.  I noticed the calendar in the kitchen showed November and I had a moment of 'what?  November?'.

Considering it's now the 17th day of November and a lot has happened since October, I shouldn't have been so stunned.  But I was.

The entire world is still reeling from the outcome of our Presidential election and even a week later, it's still hard to grasp.  Or accept.  Or fathom.

The Biden/Obama memes are hilarious and at least put a smile on many faces during a time of such...I can't even figure out the words to describe what this time is like.

We elected Donald Trump.  Yes.  Really.  As unbelievable as it is, it is true.

On a happier note, B. arrives home in a couple days for Thanksgiving week and it's going to be a wonderful week of eating too much and enjoying some family time.

I'm showering shortly 'cuz I truly wanted to be at work by 6 but didn't want my butler to get up that early so...it's going to be closer to 7 'cuz he will fix my daily rations before I head out.  Yesterday was an awful day - just so many things that happened - I'm sure that's why I didn't sleep well - but sadly, this is the 4th night out of the last 7 that have sucked on the sleep front and I'm starting to feel panicked about sleep.  Not good.

It's also cold enough to turn on the heat and that's a lovely change.  Soon, the down comforters will be required and we will begin the long snuggle into Winter.  Or as winter as it gets here.

My cousin and I enjoyed an early morning chat today and during our Facebook messaging, a Disney gif popped up into the chat box.  She said 'did you send those' and I replied 'no.  You mean you didn't send it'?  Geez....now things that you are 'chatting' about pop into your chat box uninvited.  It sort of freaked me out - especially 'cuz I had a friend tell me last week that she received a friend request from me and we were already friends.  I did all the things you're supposed to do - changed password, logged out of 'all' devices...but it worries me.

Maybe the imposter me on Facebook is having better sleep than I am.

Holy Shit

I really just want to type the f-word over and over and over....

I don't know if I should chug a beer and go to bed - see what happens in the morning?

Or stay up until we know.

I think I'll skip the beer and just go to bed - may be the last decent night's sleep I get in four years. The Dow is already crashing and who knows what tomorrow will bring -

It's not over until it's over but holy crap - this is unbelievable.  I may be living in a country that just elected a buffoon for President.

What in the fuck is happening to us, America?

(I just had to say it once).

Heaven help us all if that man is elected.

Not a Lazy Sunday

J. is heading out the door for church band...it's his thing.  I write the donation check, place it in our donation envelope and send him on his merry way.

God and I are worshiping together privately these days.  Well, I worship - He listens.  Anyway....

I am enjoying the extra hour of leisure provided by the 'fall back' of Daylight Savings time.  As usual, J. sets his clock back but I don't set mine back so I spend all night awakening and having to 'do the math' about what time is it exactly?  I will set my clock back tonight for sure so my alarm is correct.

I'm heading into work shortly - where I spent all day yesterday as well.  I have huge budget issues looming and I think (during my early morning ruminations) figured out an 'approach' that will help. Fingers crossed.  I'm supposed to be attending a conference all day tomorrow but I already told my boss 'no, not happening'.  Guess the three + days of jury duty set me back further than I anticipated - combined with more moving parts this year than ever.

Backing out the settlement our teachers didn't approve combined with more staffing changes between budget and now than ever in my tenure as C B O has resulted in some really massive budget revisions.  It truly is a lot of moving parts and I spent yesterday puzzling over them and working to unravel them - more of the same today.

My brain feels tired already.

November is officially here and we (so far) haven't turned on the heater.  I have pajama pants on but bare feet and a tank top on - I read that sitting in the cold burns calories so I'm letting my body 'work' at staying warm.  Won't be able to do that much longer, though - 'cuz it's getting cold outside for sure.

Only two weeks away from a week off for Thanksgiving - can't wait!  B. will be home, too, which makes it super special.

I do hope to be mostly off that week which is another reason I'm putting in weekend time now vs. then.  Fingers crossed.

I'd better get to it instead of talking about getting to it -

Jury Duty

Myself and about 90 other people dutifully filed into the courthouse yesterday morning at 9:30AM. Jury selection began a little later than 9:30 but we were trucking along throughout the day.  We ended up with 12 jurors in the box and 6 alternates - then we went on break - and upon returning, we were down 4.  Then the attorneys had their opportunity to drop whomever they wanted for whatever reason they had with no explanation - and we lost a couple more.  Alternates moved into the jury box and more alternates were chosen randomly.  A few more dropped out - questioning revealed concerns and after breaks, those folks were not there.  At the end of the day, we were short 4 and the judge decided not to do anymore selection and the day ended.

It started again this morning at 9:30 and I prayed 'please don't call my name'.  I joked to the guy sitting next to me - who was the guy I sat next to yesterday most of the day only we were on the wall side of the row which would have made it very challenging to get out to the aisle if our name had been called - 'we're on the aisle today - hope this isn't an omen'.

My name was the 2nd name called.  I felt like I was going to throw up.  The physical change I felt overwhelm me as soon as I was one of 18 instead of one of dozens was overwhelming - my heart was pounding; my palms were sweaty.  I sat through an hour and a half of being questioned by the two attorneys and the judge - and stepped gingerly out on limbs as I said many of the things I ruminated about all night - and still thought 'crap, what am I going to do about work'.

The judge called a break and a young man in the jury box asked to speak to the judge.  I started to exit - last one out the door - but I stopped myself and turned around and asked the bailiff 'may I please stay and speak to the judge'?

I told the judge that I was panicked about how to handle my job - explained that I am the only person in my district who can do what I do; huge report due to our board in December and then to our COE and the State, eventually.  Not to mention negotiations.  I told the judge that I was feeling completely panicked about work - and he acknowledged 'we need you to focus 100% on the case and it sounds like you're having a hard time doing that'.  So he asked the attorneys and one said she was fine and the other said he would defer to the court.  The judge said 'you can stand down, Ms. M.' - meaning be excused.

I walked out of the courtroom down the long hall with all the other juror eyes feeling like they were peeling off my skin - and headed downstairs to have my badge scanned as 'excused', get my parking ticket validated and headed to the garage.

On the way to the car (it's a little bit of a walk), I passed a small store and felt 'I need carbs' - so I grabbed a small bag of baked Ruffles and headed to the counter.  The guy (really nice - so welcoming) said 'that's 50 cents'.  And I took a $20 out of my wallet and said 'I'm so sorry but this is all I have' - and he said 'the chips are on me today!'.  So kind.

I drove most of the way home and stopped at the easiest drive-through Starbucks and got a huge iced tea.  I just felt overwhelmed and 'spent' so I called work and said I was going to use 4 hours jury duty and 4 hours sick time and call it a day - I just needed time to regroup.

The jury case is the death of a child by beating - and I can't tell you how many nights I've spent since October 18th (when I first appeared) ruminating about it all.  Yesterday, a part of the jury discussion included corporal punishment - spanking, specifically - and 'spanking' using objects like wooden spoons, belts or hair brushes.  Made me nauseous.

I will watch the news and keep an eye on the trial and await the verdict - and then the judge will decide sentencing -

I'm glad it's done.  I am so relieved to be trekking (trudging) back to work tomorrow.

In other news, Chloe has been deemed 'spoiled' by the vet - her blood glucose isn't tracking right - so instead of feeding her morning, mid-day and evening, we are now feeding her only morning and evening.  And I won't be feeding her as soon as I get up - I will wait to feed her just before J. comes downstairs and he will give her insulin as soon as he's up.  I can do it - I know I should do it - but honestly, adding one more thing to my list of things I trudge through 1/2 asleep seems overwhelming and especially so in that it involves sharp things and getting the right dosage into the syringe, etc. .

She is whining like a champ constantly at the moment and her dinner hour is still 1.75 hours away.

A Day of Non-Activity

My cousin asked what's my day like today and I replied 'lazy'.

Though I have paid bills, transferred money to various savings account, balanced the accounts...all the usual 'pay day' stuff.  Or as I tell J. 'kept us off the brink of financial disaster for yet another month'.

The home loan did close and the small amount of 'cash out' we received (we have no idea why/how that happened - we didn't ask - something about the rate requiring a certain loan level which required us to end up with about $2,000 cash out) so I was also able to write a couple checks to charity - unexpected cash is lovely and I'm a firm believer in giving some away - the mailbox is brimming with charity requests as we approach Thanksgiving.

The mailbox is also brimming with political crap which I enjoy tossing in the recycle bin.  I've already voted so no need to read or pay attention to any of it.  J. and I spent a morning last weekend going through all the propositions on the ballot and worked through how to vote - sometimes, we negate each other's vote but we chalk that up to 'the process'.  And sometimes, when we're not sure, we're glad one votes for and one votes against - 'cuz then we've made no impact either way and we're fine with that.

I keep the TV off anything political and my husband does the complete opposite.  This is probably more fun for him that either Disneyland or Christmas.  He loves the process; he loves the debates.  I might enjoy them if it weren't for Trump.  He makes my skin crawl.

I need to try to get into the office tomorrow - I'm a nervous wreck about a lot of stuff and a day of quiet to try to work through some of it would be a good idea.  We have Halloween celebrations on Monday that will take up a lot of the morning - and I'm out of the office for sure most of the day Tuesday for the reappearance related to jury duty.  Fingers crossed there's a list of people excused and I'm on it.  My boss is freaking out about me possibly being gone for five weeks - he said 'there's no one else here who can do your job'.  I'm aware.  :-)  I said 'I'll just be here evenings, early mornings and weekends - and there's no point fretting about it until I'm officially on the jury'.  He was encouraging all sorts of things I could do to run myself off - but I'm a firm believer in 'the process' - in most things, it's better to just let things play out and see what happens.  We're still a long way from me being gone five weeks -

Spaghetti and meatballs (turkey!) for dinner - tomorrow, we're doing chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes.  Winco's 'steak cuber' is still broken - it's been a year, I think - so we'll go to Savemart to procure supplies for Sunday dinner.  Lucky H. 'cuz we have a coupon for a free dozen chocolate chip cookies from the bakery there.  He LOVES those cookies.

I'm still hopping mad at him but a guy has to eat -

Titles

Often, the title of a new post is the hardest part - after awhile, it's just impossible to narrow down the topic to something summative.  I open the page, think a bit and then close it when a title doesn't pop into my head.

I'll keep typing today by just pointing out that challenge of attempting to chronicle daily life.

It's raining here which is awesome - I am up early today and took Chloe out.  She pooped promptly then marched herself back to her bed, burrowed under her blanket - really, deeply burrowed - and is sleeping soundly.  Wasn't interested in breakfast (very unusual) but it's just that kind of day.  I'd love to burrow back in my covers, too - but there's work to be done and I need to get to it.

I have a lot I'd like to write about it but won't (can't) yet - changes being considered that are hard to put on paper and I'm not sure I'm ready to put it all out there.  Job stuff.

Family stuff is good though I was super hard on H. this week - we got a letter from our insurance company that the other driver is claiming bodily injury from his most recent fender bender and it's scary to be in that place again.  The last person had their attorney asking about our assets, etc. - and that just scares me to death.  Makes me want to kick H. out so he's separate from us - but I won't. He's going through his usual 'tough time' about friends, etc. - girls, in particular - and he did go see his counselor yesterday which I'm glad for 'cuz he needs to talk some of this stuff through with someone who didn't give birth to him.  Or someone he doesn't live with.

B. had a moment yesterday where he was sure he was shipping out to Afghanistan.  They asked for volunteers, he opted in, they said 'ok' so he phoned J. to tell him.  J. phoned me to tell me and I had many moments of being choked up and sad - he would be leaving imminently and not coming home prior and my heart was breaking a bit.  Then, in true Army fashion, he phoned back and said 'never mind'.  The unit CO said their unit couldn't afford to give up a 'nailed down' soldier - meaning a good soldier who's got his stuff together - so they refused to give B. up for the deployment.  Mom cheered (silently).

I'm sure it's hard on B. - but both J. and I are trying to convince him to use his 'soldier in excellent standing' status to start moving up a bit - leadership skills are rare and he should use them!

So he's back to arriving for Thanksgiving the Saturday before and departing the Sunday after - can't wait to have him home.

J. is downstairs and Chloe has un-burrowed herself and appears ready to start the day - so I guess I'd better, too.

Cruising!

I'm so excited....that I just can't hide it.....I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!

Name that song - you'll be humming it all day now.  You're welcome.

J. and I are booked for a 7 night cruise to the Mexican Riviera - departing Long Beach on March 19th and returning March 26th.  We'll celebrate our 27th anniversary on board!

We've often thought of cruising and it turns out the 'free' cruise deal we got from the casino was a pretty good deal.  We have upgraded to a mini-suite - for comfort of more space and a balcony - and were both pleasantly surprised at the low cost of the upgrade.  We were thinking it would be double what it was so yay!

There will be other charges - always are - but all things considered, it's a relatively inexpensive vacation.  We have credit on Southwest and will use those to get to LAX (most likely) which will save us 8 hours in the car each way.  Road trip sounds fun but since we have the credits, we're going to look into it.  (Or not - we just chatted and we think it's about one week too late to use the credits - they were good for a year and it will be just past that..though we hope to use them some other way and/or transfer them to B. to use to get home in November).

Our first two days are 'at sea' (we travel all the way down to Acapulco and then come back up, stopping at ports along the way).  Casino time!  I'm going to LOVE it!

Air Assault

I lunched with a friend earlier this week and she bemoaned (during a conversation about her 12 year old son) 'I sure hope he doesn't join the military'.  As that comment was a bit out of the blue, I said 'why do you think he might?  Has he mentioned it?'.  She said 'no, but his dad was military so...'.

I shared that there is a lot of joy in watching someone you love do something they are passionate about and enjoy.  I wasn't keen on B. going into the military but it turns out it suits him well and he's really having a great time.

He accomplished another goal this week - congratulations to this guy who earned his Air Assault pin yesterday!  I'm so proud of him, I could burst!

His next goal is to pass sniper training - onward, B.!   You are really becoming a bad ass and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Week By Week

It's almost November!  Can you believe it?  1/3 of the way through the school year and I swear school just started a week or so ago.  I am boggled by how quickly time flies and remind myself of that a lot. Retirement will be here before I know it at this rate!

J. trekked to San Francisco this week for a meeting with our financial advisor - I had hoped to go, too but my boss and I needed to spend time plowing through some budget stuff and that particular day was the only day we could really block to do that - and I'm glad we did because it was a very good meeting and helps me move forward on a number of things that require forward moving steps.  J.'s meeting with our finance guy was also good - we're solvent, headed in a very positive direction and will have a glorious mutual retirement soon!  Not imminently but soon - I'm on the downhill side of my working life - 40 years of work so far and a little bit more to go!!

I appeared for jury duty on Tuesday and did have to go to a courtroom.  In a jury pool wherein I filled out a 15 page questionnaire and will await further instructions.  The website says for jurors in my group to check back Monday (this coming Monday) after 5PM so perhaps there will be an update. Maybe the defendant will decide to take a plea deal - who knows.  Fingers crossed because if selected, it is a 5-6 week criminal trial and will be gut-wrenching.  That's all I can say at this point. People were in tears at the thought of having to be on the jury - so yeah...not something to look forward to.

In other news, H. had another accident wherein he rear ended someone.  The guys trailer hitch went into H.'s car - front grill and engine compartment - though it is running fine.  It's a little banged up but oh well.  So far, the other guy hasn't filed a claim with our insurance so fingers crossed.

H. is essentially grounded - he can leave the house for school and is only allowed to drive to/from school.  He is to come straight home - though there's no way to monitor that (yet).  We are putting a GPS unit on his car - yes, I'm serious - 'cuz if I catch his ass somewhere he's not supposed to be, there will be (further) hell to pay.  I'm so angry at him, I can barely look at him - and he knows it.  He's lying low.

Finally got my glucometer set up and am testing morning and evening.  This morning was my first 'high' (out of range) reading and it was only 9 points higher than my reading same time yesterday. We had thin crust pizza (frozen) for dinner last night so that could explain it - even though J. made a delicious salad as a starter.  Guess that's the point of the process - getting used to the things that throw you into 'red' zone vs. green.  On a great note, both J. and I are losing weight and it's been relatively easy.  The nutrition classes we attended the past two Thursdays helped to create more perspective on portion control for us both as well as highlighted that it is important to eat carbs.  I'd been assuming the goal was 'no carbs' but it turns out our brains get energy from only sugars created by carb consumption so....eat carbs.  In moderation and watch for 'good carbs' vs. bad carbs.  Eating a candy bar is a no.  Drinking some milk (dairy is a carb) or eating a piece of fruit (loaded with fiber) is a yes. We learned how many grams are in a diabetic carb serving (because counting carb servings throughout the day is one way of monitoring your intake) and to aim for between 10-12 servings a day.  J.'s number is higher.  I enjoyed Cheerios for breakfast this morning!

I'm also becoming a fanatic about bone broth.  I'm buying it from a mail order company and it's one of my morning warm drinks - it's got huge amounts of protein, little fat and no carbs - and has all kinds of collagen, etc. .

Today, I'm heading to Stockton for a Trader Joe's shop and also Target later today or tomorrow.  It's sunny and cool here so I'm also going to get some exercise via yard work.

OH - and we did sign for our refinance last night so we have officially lowered the payment another $93.  We're down $1100 a month from when J. retired and a goodly chunk of that amount goes into savings every month.

And at some point, fingers crossed when the stars and planets align, I'll get a raise which will be lovely.  Contract negotiations are always challenging and this year (and last) are proving to be interesting, to say the least.

Happy Saturday!

Here's the Thing

about going to 'the symphony':  (we take great pride in H. accompanying us - he got a little culture and one was of only a hand full of 'young people' in the audience).....there is always a point for me where I'm just so overwhelmed by the music...sitting there with a smile from ear to ear and then suddenly, feeling all choked up about how beautiful it is - Rhapsody in Blue was completely, wonderfully overwhelming.  The pianist is 15 years old and extraordinary - standing ovation for both pieces he performed last night.  It was an amazing evening and other than having to get after H. for being late in our departure time from home and then insisting he had to be in the car for a minute at the restaurant - he had shorts on and said he was going to change clothes - and then having to go back out after waiting many minutes to find he was on the phone.  I was so pissed.  It's Sizzler for crying out loud.  We let people go ahead of us - and I just got sick of being patient waiting for him.  It's those small, inconsiderate things that just drive me bonkers.

But other than that, it was a lovely evening -

It's raining today!  Yay!  I just took Chloe out in my PJ's and wearing flip flops and it's a little chilly.

J. is at church and will head to Costco to get 9V batteries.  We use them so seldom that what we had are no longer charged.  We need to replace all the backup batteries in the smoke detectors at some point and our bathroom scale needs a replacement as well.

I had considered popping into work for a bit today and I suppose that is still a possibility - but I'm leaning towards not.  I might treat myself to an early nap - I didn't go upstairs until midnight last night and was up at 7:30 so a little more rest would be great.  If I don't nap, though,  I'll be fine and will sleep even better tonight.

Lovely Saturday

My first thought when I woke up this morning (at 8AM!! - sleeping in is so awesome!) was 'a blissful day with no commitments'.

Then J. reminded me we have tickets to the Modesto Symphony tonight - and amazingly enough, I was excited to be reminded.  It's Rhapsody in Blue and Fanfare for the Common Man - and H. is actually going with us!  And we're doing Sizzler for dinner!  ('cuz they have burgers for H. - and/or steak).  It will be a second late evening in a row but we'll be OK.

We headed to Thunder Valley not too much after 1PM yesterday as planned and of course, as soon as we pulled out of the driveway, the rain started.  There were a few white knuckle moments for me as the driver on the freeway - mainly when big rigs were tossing up so much water, it was hard to see - but we made it and luckily, there was light rain or no rain all the way home.

We are in possession of a certificate that entitles us to a free 7 day cruise on Norwegian cruise lines. We have 60 days to call and book the trip and travel has to be within the next year.  Totally free except 'taxes and port fees'.  Of course, it won't be totally free 'cuz there's no way I can do an inner cabin - I need a window and hopefully a balcony - and we don't exactly have evening wear though our friends who cruise often say there's very little issue with that these days.  Unless you're seated at the captain's table, it can be more casual.  And it says 'some meals' so we'd have to upgrade to 'all meals'.  Still, we're looking over the catalog and trying to decide where to cruise to.  The easiest is out of Los Angeles - the Mexican Riviera - but J. has already been to all but one of the ports we would spend a day at - so I'm not sure.  He's interested in Alaska and I guess I am too - so maybe that's the best option.  We're going to decide and call by the end of the 60 day window to see how much the actual cruise would be.  March, 2017 would work as would October, 2017.

I did not win at slots and we were home before 8 so it was a nice time but quick.  We ended up not eating together 'cuz I got on my favorite slots and didn't want to lose the machine - J. had the buffet and I ate finger foods at the cruise event.  But as J. said 'we've had 4 hours of travel time with lively communication - including politics which I enjoyed more than I thought I would.  My husband is very knowledgeable about so many things and it was nice to talk through things I'd heard, factor in things he knows.

You can have a lot of conversation around how in the hell America is actually looking at a Presidential candidate who is a horrible human being....but that's where we are in 2016.  And you can argue til the cows come home that his opponent has her issues as well - but....seriously.  There's no comparison, in my opinion.  Making mistakes and taking responsibility for them is one thing.  Being an asshole of a guy - who commits sexual assault on women because he can - because he's 'famous' - no matter what other mistakes his opponent has made, she's a stellar person who's life has been about serving our country in the many roles she's held.

Today, we celebrate the 27 years and one month anniversary of our engagement and it's a beautiful, sunny day after an afternoon/evening of rain.  Chloe isn't feeling too well - she had a lunch bag feast night before last when somehow, my lunch bag was on the floor again - we left quickly for our nutrition class and she feasted on a couple bites of leftover chicken fajita, edamame (shelled, thank goodness), nuts and raisin trail mix and carrot sticks.  She was unwell this morning - declined her breakfast - but a little bit ago, she had her waggly dog tail back and was a little more animated.  She also (finally) finished her first breakfast - and she's not asking for seconds (yet) so we aren't serving her.

Update:  J. told me 'today is the anniversary of our engagement' and I was all 'oh, yeah...yay us'! Four hours have past and after a phone call from him about stuff at Costco, I'm thinking 'today is NOT our anniversary - 'cuz this is OCTOBER not September.  So the paragraph above had to be modified slightly.

We are finally scheduled to sign for the refinance next Friday so it looks like it IS going to happen - and in a moment of 'really?  Seriously?  OK!', because our property taxes and insurance are due within the next 60 days, we would have had to pay them - and the likelihood of having proof of those payments in time for the now 'rushed' closing (because they've been jerking us around for two months and the rate lock ends in 16 days), they offered to roll those payments into our loan amount and pay them out of the escrow.  So miraculously, those amounts now in savings for those purposes can be moved to 'regular' savings - thus providing cash flow to help H. with tuition and books and ensure that no matter how short notice of a ticket we need to get for B. to be home whenever he can, we can do it - no problem.  Yes, I should technically just send in those amounts with the first new payment as 'extra principal' and immediately pay them down - but I'm not really going to worry about it - having that unexpected increase in savings is a blessing - so I'll accept it!

Fingers crossed it all works out the way it's supposed to.  Considering this is our current loan holder; it was supposed to be easy and painless - it's been none of that - I'm still skeptical.  But there's no doubt we qualify for whatever amount the loaned amount will be and no doubt we can afford the payment - so it should be fine.

Today, I'm on a 409 mission - I see places that need 409 - door jams, light switches, etc. - I want to go around with cleaning cloths and my spray bottle and clean, clean, clean!

Sunday Mantra

Food!

The Great British Baking Show has reruns of 'Master Classes' - the two judges prepare the recipes the contestants have made.  It's nice to see how the results are supposed to look and to have the experts go through the process.  I'm really excited to try some (all, really - though no idea when I'll have the time) of the recipes - over the holidays sounds like a good time.

So I started the day watching a Master Class which had me starving and now I'm still starving. Facebook is full of food which I shouldn't eat.  I've had breakfast (Cheerios and fresh strawberries - no sugar.  Not even Splenda this morning.  Just plain); two eggs and a piece of whole grain toast for lunch.  Bone broth for a snack.  I'm hydrated and still starving and craving something decadent and taboo.

I've distracted myself cleaning my desk - getting into the corners and dusting where the dust bunnies lurk.  I need to just start tossing stuff - I end up with little bits and pieces of things that maybe I'll need somewhere down the road?  But not likely.  Just the normal 'junk' that ends up in the junk drawer...only my desk here doesn't have a junk drawer.  (Maybe it's 'cuz all the drawers appear to be filled with junk).

We cleared 50 hours off the DVR in preparation for series premiers - new season will fill up the DVR pretty quickly so we're trying to prepare.

J. reminded me that I never heard from the third party vendor that will be supplying me with my glucose meter and supplies.  Guess I will email the doctor to ask about that process.  I'd like to get an idea of where I'm at - especially considering that up until Friday, I'd had zero sugar.

Though I know that it's really not about sugar....it's how my pancreas isn't working the way it should to produce/not produce insulin appropriate to where my blood sugar is.  So no matter how carefully I eat, I will still have high sugar and swings that the medication hopefully modulates - at least tries to.

Learning a lot and we have the first of two nutrition classes this week - trying a class together first and then can still request a one on one with a nutritionist if we need it.

We're eating leftover Frito pie tonight for dinner to avoid wasting it -

This coming Friday, J. and I are planning to head up to Thunder Valley for the evening.  We actually booked a room but it seems likely the better plan is to go up early afternoon (to avoid Friday traffic heading up to the mountains) and then attend the 'event' at 5PM.  Something about offering us a 'free' cruise - we're intrigued enough to want to check it out 'cuz a free vacation (or lower cost cruise, at least) is worth the trip.  We've never done a cruise and friends of ours have and love it.  There's not a ton of gambling budget at the moment - but I'll play small and hope for some big wins - and J. said he's fine not really playing.  We'll have a buffet dinner and a little more play (hopefully) and then head home before it's too late in the evening.  Sleep in our own beds and slide into the weekend.

I think I'll post this and then shut down the computer for awhile while I tackle this side of the desk. Maybe make a trip to OSH for some teeny, tiny storage boxes I saw - for the little things that need a 'place' and can be stashed in a cupboard here.

Sugar!

I went to a meeting this morning and counted on eating breakfast there.  It's our monthly (well, now it's every other month or even every third month) CBO meeting and the host district provides food.

Last time I will ever do that because the only things there to eat were sweet.  Bear claws, scones.

I ate a bear claw.  It was delicious.  I felt no guilt because eating is always the best choice (vs. not eating at all)....but when I returned to my office around noon (it was a very long meeting - usually an hour or so but we had plenty to talk about so it was long), my stomach HURT, I was so hungry.  No protein in the morning resulted in me feeling hangry all day.  That's not a typo.  Hangry is 'angry hunger'.  I try to avoid hangry at all costs 'cuz hangry leads to eating carelessly and really feels like anger.

I ate my lunch (roasted chicken, yams and green beans) and then we had a surprise wedding shower for someone in my office - tons of fun (she had no idea!) and I ate a cupcake.  It was delicious.

Earlier this week, I told J. 'I'm going to enjoy an 'eat anything' meal now and then and so Friday night, I want Frito chili pie.  I (coincidentally) bought what we needed to make it just a few days before suspecting I was truly diabetic so J. made it.  It was delicious.  (I should have moved that 'eat anything' meal to next weekend - the wedding shower was a 'known' but I should have realized the morning meeting might be an issue).

So today was clearly a hugely not great nutrition day - but there were some small victories.  First, sugar made me feel awful.  Completely 'off' all day and just couldn't pull it together as well as usual. The highs and lows of sugar's effect were really noticeable - and I missed the nice, level feeling I've had the past few weeks sans sugar.  (Today was truly the first sugar I've had in over 3 weeks).

And...this is the hugest 'win':  a friend of H.'s sent me some candy that's been sitting next to my computer for a few days.  In the past, having eaten hugely badly, I'd be thinking 'what the heck - I blew it completely today so why not just eat the damn candy bar'.  But I didn't.  I enjoyed my 'cheat' dinner completely and didn't indulge in any more sugar today.  Just told myself 'no'.  Didn't use having to indulge a bit (and/or made bad choices and failed to plan ahead on the food front) as an excuse for adding more sugar to the day.

Tomorrow, I'll be back to good eating - bone broth in the morning (it's a really nice warm drink; has huge amounts of protein, very low in carbs and is very satisfying as a snack), eggs and maybe a piece of toast (weekends are the only time I eat toast).  Back to normal and no sugar.

We saved the roasted chicken carcass and I'm going to make some home made bone broth to have this week.  I've been buying some that I really love but I'm going to see if I can make it on my own as well.

I'm glad it's the weekend - it was a long, long week and I'm really hoping to sleep in tomorrow morning 'cuz I've had pretty lousy sleep most of the week.

Next morning meeting, I'm going to tuck a container of plain yogurt and some frozen berries into my bag for meeting fare.  Or have some nuts in my purse to munch on.

Possible Snow

A lady I played slots with yesterday mentioned the forecast had snow at 6,000 feet - so I didn't linger too long this morning.  I woke up at 7 and while I would have loved to have gone back to sleep, I bolted out of bed and got the day going.  I skipped the buffet breakfast and played what I had to play. Slots were not kind this morning - bummer!

I was heading out of town shortly after 10 - gassed up the car and made a Starbucks stop and had the first sugar I've had in over a week - three petite vanilla scones were breakfast.  The temperature in Reno was 60 and sunny and just past Truckee, the temperature was 45.  I stopped in Auburn for Jim Boy tacos and then hit rain - drizzles off and on most of the way home until I hit San Joaquin county. J. says the back of my car is a mess and I'm sure it is - first rain in a while and the roads were filthy. I used my back window wiper at one point and it was just smearing mud all over the place.

J. trekked to Costco to pick up my final 'doctors order' supplement and went late enough to bring home a roasted chicken for dinner.  Along with a few bites of roasted yam, it was a delicious dinner and will likely be delicious lunch tomorrow, too.

The news reported lots of rain and huge hail in Roseville (which I drove through) as well as heavy rain in Sacramento.  And snow! on the road up to Reno.  Really glad I got an earlier start so I missed the hail.

I had a really fun weekend - played long and aggressively with their money and mine.  No life changing amounts (not that I didn't try) but lots of fun.

Happy to be home with my best beloveds and (as is typical for Sunday evenings) dreading work tomorrow.  But I'll survive.

Furrows

I have the world's deepest sleep wrinkle - completely dissecting my left eyebrow right down the middle.  It's been there before but today?  It's huge.  Looks awful.  And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.  Thankful for bangs that while technically in need of a trim are a good disguise over the cavern on my face.  I'm going to have to look around for some plumping and/or I might even consider medical intervention of the injectable variety 'cuz this is serious. I must sleep on my left side more than I realize.

Two beers yesterday led to a decent night's sleep wherein I put crevices in my face without knowing.

The casino is being good to me and I'm playing on their money for the most part.  Still have 4/5 of what I brought to lose and if I stopped right this minute, I'd be up a few hundred.  The next 'random jackpot' round starts in 52 minutes so I'm pacing myself with some time in my room.  Ate an apple. Did a game thing or two.

I'm playing with really fun people and it's been a blast.  So fun to play with folks that are enthusiastic and love to share the highs and lows of slot play with others.  The lady I played with today had a diamond on her finger that was at least 4 carats.  Definitely a high roller.  She lives in Paradise, CA with her husband - long retired - they come to Atlantis every month.  She suggested J. and I buy a 4-wheel drive now so we wouldn't have to skip coming up in the winter months.

Update....I lost the rest of this post - on my laptop and always manage to hit something that wipes out full paragraphs of writing.  I'm down a bit (into my fun money now vs. their money).  The 2nd random jackpot was given away within 10 minutes of the second round starting - so that led to a very abrupt end to what could have been 4 hours.  Everyone participating in the event received a coupon for two free buffets - and that line was HOURS long.

I headed to the Italian cafe instead and had a salad and a small mini pizza - thin crust with chicken and artichoke hearts.  I'm proud of myself for eating carefully - I had the buffet this morning but ate a bowl of oatmeal with raisins for sweetness; one piece of bacon; scrambled eggs, fresh fruit and a very small biscuit with a little gravy.  Dinner last night was a salad and 1/2 sandwich - and I left most of the bread on my plate.

I resisted cotton candy this morning - it's a buffet and they have EVERYTHING all the time - and J. can attest to cotton candy being something I never, ever decline.  But I skipped it.  And also skipped the waffles with butter and syrup.

Salads are delicious when you are really hungry.  I devour every morsel.  Tonight, the five tiny croutons on the salad felt like the biggest splurge ever!!

The furrow is greatly improved 13 hours after I woke up.  I'm heading to bed shortly and I'm going to try to figure out the pillow issue to see if I can prevent it from being quite so bad tomorrow.  I've had Blue Moons again so...not sure.  Will probably just be really glad for long bangs again.

My plan is to get up, have breakfast, play a little - I've hit a machine for a pretty big jackpot two mornings in a row so it might happen again! - and then head home.  Might stop at Thunder Valley - haven't decided yet and it will probably depend on how I do in my brief gambling stint in the morning.

It's been a fun trip and the only thing missing is my sweet J. - we need to come up again before the snow makes it impossible.  Or buy a 4-wheel drive vehicle.  :-)

Today's Workout

brought to you by painting stair risers.  Geez....my legs were shaking uncontrollably and the rest of me felt like Jello - so that's a sign of a pretty darn great workout - no equipment (except paint, brush, wipe cloth, sweat wipe cloth, edger, paint tray) required.

J. is heading to San Leandro in about an hour to visit with his brother - brother's celebrating a birthday today so nice that J.'s monthly visit coincides with a special day.

I painted 9 stair risers in one session - though I'm pretty convinced we are going to need to do a second coat.  Totally want it to look great and stand up to wear and tear as much as possible so if a second coat will make that happen, we'll do it.

H. is already at school this morning meeting with friends.  At least I hope that's where he is.

I'm going to spend the rest of the day working on my desk and bedroom.

Trying not to obsessively check emails.  I'm off.  I need to be off!

Dinner last night was fantastic.  I love this friend so much and we always just jump back in with both feet and pick up right where we left off.  It was a really wonderful evening - and at some point, I had a thought of 'I have no idea what time it is and it's going to be really hard to get up in the morning' and then I remembered 'I'm off tomorrow!!'.  Slept in until just before 8 which was really great!

OK - I'm re-hydrating while J. does a little more trim work using up the paint in the tray.  Then I'll get to cleaning the equipment and letting what we've done today dry.  Might try to do the second coat later this afternoon when J. gets home - if my legs can take it!

Done!

Combined something I despise (exercise) with something I love (slots - in this case, watching slot videos on You Tube via the iPad) and did a brisk 1/2 mile on the treadmill this morning!

The hardest part was all the devices pinging at me with codes to ensure the person attempting to reset a password to YouTube was ME.  Holding an iPad and my iPhone whilst awaiting the secret code barely awake - that was also a workout.

I got up at 5 and am still rushing like mad so guess I need to move it up to 4:45ish or so.  Dog routine, saying hi to my cousin (which I wouldn't miss for the world)....though tomorrow will be better 'cuz I won't spend 10 minutes trying to get my device to play what I want it to play.

And today is my Friday 'cuz in a miracle moment, I arranged to be off the rest of the week - which means I'm frantically cramming 5 days of work into 2 days but oh well!

Tonight is dinner at Simply Fondue in Livermore with a wonderful friend and I'm giddy - and no, it's not just the chocolate.  More treadmill time tomorrow to work off the Everything But the Kitchen Sink mixture I will be enjoying this evening - along with a blackberry martini!  And lots of veggies dipped in melted cheese!!

Meal Planning

After months of not feeling great, this past week, my skin started itching like crazy - especially (of all places) my wrists.  I couldn't help scratching and I'd look down and see they were welted and flaming red from the itching.

Also one night this past week, I got lazy about dinner and ate Frosted Flakes for dinner - and then had flan for dessert.  (Costco has flan in tiny glass jars - it's delicious!).

The next morning, I asked J. to help me use his glucose meter to test my blood.  He took a look at the strip and said 'you need to see a doctor'.  250 was my number.  He HAS diabetes and said 'I've never had a number that high'.  Next morning 225.  I ate incredibly carefully all day - next morning was 170.  I emailed my doctor to request he order the blood work and I went on Friday morning - the results are back and it's pretty much 'for sure' that I'm diabetic.  I also have very high triglycerides (while both my good and bad cholesterol are in an OK range).  I already take 2 anti-statins every day.  I have an appointment with the doctor on Thursday afternoon and anticipate adding a glucose meter and meds to my daily routine.

The high tryiglycerides combined with high blood sugar are a part of 'metabolic syndrome' - which puts me at high risk for heart disease and stroke.  Which doesn't surprise me but with my family history, it's a huge issue.

I searched immediately for meal plans and found EatingWell.com - seems like the answer to prayers. Clicked on 'Diabetes' and found multiple meal plans in various calorie ranges.  Used the tool to know how many calories to consume and selected the plan.  It seemed great!

I am making a grocery list for J. so he can go to Winco this week - and clicked on some of the recipes.  The first meal called for 'low sugar plum spread'.  TEN POUNDS of plums; 6 apples....cook them and then run them through a food mill.  Add sugar substitute (or sugar) and make a jelly. Seriously?  There is no way I am making from scratch jam.  Maybe when I retire...but now?  No way.

Lunch was 'Shrimp Bisque'.  I love bisque soups - but once again....maybe on a weekend I could make it...

I need to find quick, easy options to help me eat better and that's what's been so hard.  Pretty much ALL the things I've done to eat better are things that are increasing my triglycerides.  Nuts are my go to snack - they are mostly a 'no'.  Coconut oil is a no.  Butter - which I use because margarines are processed oil and gross - is a no.

I think when I see my doctor on Thursday, I'm going to ask if I can see a nutritionist.

If we hadn't spent a lot of the weekend painting (and HUGE kudos to hubby who finished taping off all the stairs!), then cooking all weekend would have been fine - but on weekends like this, it's impossible to make fresh jam and shrimp bisque.

The painting yesterday worked 'cuz my legs are sore.  And I did get on the treadmill, too.  I am determined to move more and will be up at 5AM tomorrow to give myself time to get on the treadmill for 20+ minutes.  Starting slow but starting.

28 Years and Counting, My Love

28 years ago this evening, I met my Prince Charming!  Happy Anniversary, sweetheart!  Thank you for making all my dreams come true - including many I didn't know I had.

When I tell friends how you pack my meals for me; do all the laundry; keep the homestead running; get my car washed and gassed up as needed; help me with errands; do pretty much all of the shopping for pets, house and food....while wrangling a 23 year old young adult and keeping him on task and on track as well, they say 'not my husband'.  Or 'my husband wouldn't do any of that'.

I am so blessed - I really, truly am.  While it's hard to be working still, it's OK - because you make it easy.  There is no workload from the home front 'cuz you handle all of it.

Thank you, my sweet - you are my one and only and only I know how truly, deeply blessed I am to be married to you -

You are one in a gazillion and the blind date 28 years ago was the best decision I ever made.  Right up there with marrying you!

About Work

'It will never be completely easy. Whatever “it” is. For every moment of bright brilliance there will be many more moments of wading through deep marshes in thick fog wondering WTF is actually going on. Hang in there.'

Saw this on Facebook last night and it really resonates for me as related to work.

There's a lot happening on the work front and I don't write about work much 'cuz you just never know.

Change is always incredibly hard and we are trying to change our culture.  It's an uphill battle.  There are a great group standing beside me pushing a ginormous boulder up a steep hill - pushing as hard as we can all day, everyday.  It's exhausting.  It's even more so when there is a much larger group on the other side of the boulder pushing in the opposite direction.  Because there are many more of them and because they are on the side of downward motion, it's easier for them to push down.  Harder for those of us pushing up.

We are tired.  I've been re-reading materials and reminding myself that we knew going in this would be a very hard, long process but geez.  It's more troublesome than I expected.  Factions are created and the angst is growing by leaps and bounds.  Every little thing is a battle royal and what used to be simple is now not.

I know my role and my responsibility and I know I have to keep plugging away at it.  Keep pushing up as hard as I can with all the people standing beside me - and keep encouraging others to see the direction we're going will result in the betterment of our students - and ultimately, that's what we're all in this for.

I'm having strong flee responses lately and with a job possibility looming for next year, it has me unsettled - and I'm not good at unsettled.

It will get better.  Wading through deep marshes of fog wondering WTF will become the 'new norm' and someday, we will be at the top of that hill.  I know we will.

If the marshes don't kill us.

We Are Actually Doing It

Really!  What?  FINALLY painting the stair risers!  I'm sure a professional painter would tsk tsk some of the work....for example, we realized there's a 'bif mark' from the piss poor paint job the builder did on the trim and we didn't see it before we started.  We should have sanded it down a bit but we didn't.  We will add that to the list of things to 'touch up'.  We also need to use some wood putty to patch the 'break' in the trim on the stairs that's been there since the dawn of time - something that every time I look at it, I'm irritated we didn't catch it during the walk through - sixteen years ago. Let it go already, Majah!

But thanks to the Sure-Line edger, it's not terribly hard and it's getting done.  The stairs down into the family room are done and four risers on the stairs heading to the 2nd story are also almost done.  We haven't killed each other and I'm tamping down my 'do it my way or die' tendencies as well as the slight perfectionist in me that comes out during manual labor.  It's been two years since we did the floors and I just want to get it done.  It couldn't look any worse than it has -

H. - who promised me he owed me four hours of labor for the money I advanced him to go to the movies earlier this week - went to Santa Cruz with friends.  I didn't mind the unexpected Santa Cruz trip - a long-time friend of his is visiting from Ireland (he lives there now which was news to me) and a bunch of friends decided to head to the beach.  Concert tonight and they are spending the night at someone's house.  Those kind of unexpected adventures are the ones you just have to seize the day on and I honestly had no issue with him going.

What I did have a HUGE issue with is when he left the house for '20 minutes' to go help some friends get air mattresses, etc. (for the overnight stay camping out on someone's floor) out of their attic. The 20 minuets turned into an hour and 45 minutes - time he could have been here helping and working off the advance he got for the movies.

To say he got reamed when he got home is putting it mildly.  The old patterns come back in a flash - he doesn't keep his agreements; doesn't respect the people he lives with; gives more care and attention to relationships of people he barely knows than he does the two adult parents he lives with.

I know 23 year olds are the epitome of selfish - but geez that kid pushed my buttons big time today.

He won't be home until mid-day tomorrow at the earliest so we are painting as fast as we can (for us) to see how much we can get done before he's home.

I think we will tape off the rest of the stairs today/tonight (hopefully) and paint in the morning (hopefully).  We're on a roll!  Let's keep that momentum going!

Chloe's insulin dose has been increased and she had a day at the vet having her levels read all day. She isn't feeling too well today - lethargic.  I was cleaning the treadmill in the family room (which I was on for a quarter mile this morning, by the way) and she walked over to the rug by the back door and peed a gallon - TWO FEET FROM ME.  No warning, no whine to go out - just said 'I need to pee so I'm going to'.  Grrrr.

She's not well and it shows.

We're trying to decide what to eat for dinner.  J. had the idea to go out - but I'm hot, sweaty and still in my PJ's technically (though it looks like a tank and shorts.  Boy shorts.) so I need to get dressed. Thai food sounds delicious and at least with no H., we can keep it less expensive.  Take out, I think.  I'm never in the mood to go out and it saves tip and beverages - so it's the frugal option as well.

More later.  We'll see how far we get on the stairs tomorrow and I will report back.

Clouds with Wind

This morning started off shattered.  I was up and downstairs by 5:25 and took Chloe out.  Fed her, out again and then headed to my computer with a hot cup of coffee.  Heard something shatter...and then heard something else shatter....and again...and again.  Ran into the kitchen trying to figure out what was happening - and had a moment of 'crap, I think our china hutch just tipped over'.  I saw glass on the landing and realized it was H.'s favorite heavy glass 'stein' that we got him in Cancun a few years ago.  He was on his way downstairs and dropped it.  Thankfully, it was empty and 'dry' vs. full of chocolate milk or the remains of chocolate milk.  Poor kid had tears in his eyes about the mug and had to endure the wrath of his mom who reamed him for having it upstairs.  Once again, violating the rule of 'only water' upstairs.  The carpet in his room is DESTROYED because of him taking food and drink up there - and he ignores the rule.  So he got no sympathy from me about breaking the glass 'cuz if he hadn't taken it upstairs, it wouldn't have happened.

J. got up to help 'cuz the glass went everywhere.  On every stair; in the entry way up to the landing; all over the landing; into the kitchen; down the stairs into the family room.  What a mess.  Great way to start the day for all (not).

J. took Chloe out again post clean up and came back in saying 'wish I hadn't washed my car on Monday'.  'Why?', I asked.  He replied 'it's raining' and then I heard it!  A brief, very large down pour!  It was awesome!  Stayed cloudy and cool until noonish or so - it was great to feel a little coolness in the air.

Now my weather app has the wind symbol showing and unusually, it's so windy that our satellite TV keeps losing the signal.  Survivor starts in 40 minutes and we have sporadic outages of broadcast. Dang it!

I have a workshop on the legal aspects around technology in schools and then in the office for a couple of hours at the end of the day tomorrow.  Off on Friday again!  H. was advanced $ to go to a movie with friends so he owes me work on Saturday and we are going to tackle the stairs.  He has a class on Friday (just one) so I doubt we'll get much done that day but I will try to be motivated enough to get the taping process started.

The big news is Angelina and Brad are splitsville and I'm sorry to hear that - I'd really hoped they would make it.  Rumors of him cheating with someone else - the female lead in his latest movie - and Angelina hired a private eye to prove it.

Glad Survivor is on (and wind seems to be dying down a bit).  We've been missing our regular programs and J. has been a trooper about all the Life Below Zero and baking shows I've been rewatching over and over.  Oh! and Law & Order.  Always.

Beauty Day

I've needed a haircut for a couple weeks - and decided I wanted to branch away from the JC Penney styling salon experience.  I feel for those stylists - new, learning, making minimum wage in a salon that hasn't been updated for decades.  It's just not a fun experience and while I've rationalized 'it's not too expensive' and 'it's just hair', I was looking for something a little 'nicer'.

I headed to ULTA - the store.  And their hair salon.  Got a great cut from a lady about my age who also has short hair.  Felt right at home right away.  Nice cut and a new product that provides a lot of volume which I need.

And on the way out, I met the brow guy and had my first ever eye-brow wax and shaping.  My brows are so sparse, I never felt the need to groom them via wax but he convinced me and I must say, I'm glad I got them done.  Lots less time staring into the big makeup mirror in our bathroom attempting to pluck stray hairs - and looking into that light leads to a halo effect for many minutes after when I close my eyes - so maybe regular brow waxing is the way to go.

Tomorrow morning will be the true test - can I fill them in on my own and make them look decent. Fingers crossed.

We did look at houses briefly yesterday - they looked a lot like the homes we visited in Reno.  Design concepts apparently don't vary much.  The single story was perfect for us - 4 bedrooms plus a 'flex room' we would use as an office - but the bedrooms are really tiny.  That's the trend now, too.  Space in the living area and keep the bedrooms really small.

We weren't tempted 'cuz I think we both agree Tracy is not where we will retire - though one of us already is retired in Tracy - but that won't always be the case.

We also trekked to OSH and Kelly Moore to get the supplies we need to start painting the stair risers. Company's coming over Christmas and the risers have been awaiting paint since the floors were installed TWO years ago - geez, I can't believe that.  I'm a little worried that upon painting, it will be painfully obvious that the entire house needs painting - it really does.  But we're just going to work on the risers and the trim up the stair case and maybe a little bit of baseboard touch ups.  And some wall touch ups.  And maybe a door.  When my cousin (one of the visitors) reads this, she is going to be so concerned that I'm painting my house for her visit - when really, I'm painting our house 'cuz it needs it and her visit is just the icing on the cake to get it done.

J. turns a young 67 tomorrow so I'm heading into the kitchen to bake a carrot cake and check on the pot roast that's in the oven.  I have a meeting tomorrow until 5PM so I'm baking tonight - and we will probably eat it tonight.  He won't mind -

B. heads back to Ft. Campbell tomorrow via bus.  He called very briefly on Friday evening - called the house phone so I would answer and he sounded just wiped out.  We had a really bad connection and we ended up getting disconnected - but we reconnected long enough to say our good nights. He was calling around 7:30PM our time, had been up since 4 and had to get up early on Saturday for the actual 'live fire' exercise they were doing all-day Saturday - so I really wanted him to get some sleep.
Live fire went fine - I was so relieved to see his Facebook messenger show 15 minutes at around 5PM last night after being off for 22 hours.  Facebook is great at keeping people connected - and reminding you just how long it's been since someone you care about has been online.

I took a phone survey and was surprised at the end to hear 'this survey was paid for by the Republican Party' - waste of their money since every answer was anti-them.  And Donald.  Especially Donald.

Adding potatoes to pot roast and getting the cake mix stirred up (no, I'm not making a cake from scratch.  I considered it and if I hadn't spent a couple of hours getting beautified and grocery shopping, I might have tried to) and in the pans ready to bake as soon as the pot roast comes out.

Another Monday looms.  Ugh.