I don't usually watch the Academy Awards. Not typically that interested. And last night was the same - but we watched it anyway because it was all that was on, pretty much.
And there was a moment last night when things in my life - things I've been struggling with, and will continue to struggle with, became instantly clearer. Things felt defined in a brief moment of sudden clarity. And in a stunning moment of beauty.
The song below won the Academy Award for Best Song. It's from a movie called "Once" - you can hear the song here: http://www.foxsearchlight.com/once/ . You can even download the song for free. Do listen to it, if you can. And download it, if you want. Because if you're like me, you'll want to listen to it over and over and over. It's also available on iTunes and looks like it's been downloaded a lot since last night.
Thanks to technology, I could look up everything I wanted to know about the song and the artists and their story - we did enjoy having access to the imdb database, also (www.imdb.com) where you can find out anything you want to know about movies, actors, etc.
I've said that music is a big part of what defines me. Everything in my life - so many big and small moments - moments of intense sadness and joy and sorry and longing - have all been clarified with songs. And this song below is no exception. Why it speaks to me so much now is part of the mystery. I recall visiting this movie's website not too long ago and think I listened to it then - and sadly, quickly forgot about the song and the movie.
But last night, and all day today, over and over and over on my PC's both home and at work, this song is speaking to me. Trying to help me figure something(s) out. I've bolded some of the words below to highlight the phrases that seem to 'get to me' more than others - but the entire song is lovely and reminds all of us to be brave and to trust....trust each other; trust love; trust ourselves to know what we need - and to go for it, whatever that 'it' is.
Games that never amount to more they're meant will play themselves out reminds me that the 'stuff' my work days are made of lately will resolve themselves eventually. Things will play out....which I say fairly frequently to myself and my boss. "I just have to let it all play out" has been my mantra the past few months. And here's a beautiful song to reinforce that.
Moods that make me and erase me and I'm painted black: the grey has returned. Some of you know what I mean. Some don't. Those who do, refer to line above 'will play themselves out'. Hopefully, it will. But I'm coming to the realization that maybe 'wishing' things felt better isn't enough? And that's a hard thing for me to admit - because I wish that weren't true. But wishing that really means I wish I wasn't me - and what sense does that make? I'm a package - it's all a part of who I am and all I've learned about who I am has to be for something....right? I mean, isn't it really time, as I approach 50, to just finally get over it and accept that sometimes, you just need help? And for me that 'sometimes' might be all the time? I think I'm trying to 'get' that finally - but I still resist. And persist in resisting.
You have suffered enough and warred with yourself. It's time that you won: and maybe acknowledging that fact (see above) and finally getting over the fear of just 'being' myself will stop the war? And I'll finally win? Even if winning means I acknowledge once and for all that I can't do this - I can't be 'better' without help. And/or maybe it means I have suffered enough - both related to the first and second points above - and it's time to go 'home' where I'm happy (returning to former job someday) as well as acknowledging that trying to make it through, day by day, hanging on by a fingernail at times, isn't enough?
If you saw the show, you saw how the two singers looked at each other throughout the performance - with smiles that lit up the room. And with that 'knowing' look you have with someone who you love and trust and adore. And more than anything, this song makes me think of J. Of having that feeling with someone else. The falling slowly, falling everyday...and knowing there's someone there to catch you. And how amazing that is - what a blessing it is to have that in my life. Someone who accepts all of the above with his heart and arms open wide. And not because that's what marriage is but because that's what HE is. It's just who he is. And he's my life partner and best friend and any and all hard times are immensely easier because he's with me through it all.
Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard
(as sung with Marketa Irglova)
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Growth
My cousin B. and her hubby sent a beautiful amaryllis plant for the holidays. They come out of the box just barely 'budding' at the bulb - and within a matter of days, they are feet tall. H. would frequently comment 'I swear, it's grown just since the last time I was in the kitchen'. It bloomed a spectacular red - multiple flowers on 2.5 ft. tall stems. Amazing. And so fun to see that.
H. is like that, it appears. We went out to dinner last night and were standing waiting for our table when we all noticed - H. is now officially taller than B. AND, as if that shock wasn't bad enough, H. is also AS TALL AS his father - at 14.75 years old. His growth spurt the past few months is just incredible. Other than the growth of an amaryllis, I've never seen anything like it. And there's no sign that he's 'done' or even slowing down. He's always been a bit on the 'short' side of most of his classes - but no more. He's definitely caught up. And will soon pass up his dad, which is truly amazing.
We had to make an 'emergency' trip to Kohl's to get H. some new boxers. Apparently, he's been on the verge of 'going commando' for several days - barely having any underwear that fit him. He's a bit picky about his underwear, so I was skeptical - but we've solved the issue having procured him 8 pairs of boxers - to add to the few new 'silky' boxers he got for Christmas. He also wanted a new 'button down' shirt for church - but he was trying my patience looking and looking - (how can a kid be so darn picky- it's a shirt for crying out loud) - so we gave up. Of course, if we'd been at Zumiez, he could have found a shirt in 5 minutes - it just would have cost $30-40. He's worse than a girl, I think. His latest thing is: he's letting his hair grow and keeps complaining about it being curly. Both of the boys' hair has darkened quite a bit and gotten very curly - the longer it is, the curlier. My solution is simple: get a hair cut - a 2 and a 1 clipper trim which is what they've been getting for years - and problem solved. But no, H. wants to let his grow and then, STRAIGHTEN IT every morning with MY FLAT IRON. And as if that's not bad enough...that I'll be sharing my HAIR EQUIPMENT with my not quite 15 year old son, he'll use a ton of 'goop' on his hair, which as any girl knows, just ruins your electric flat iron. Gets it all 'gunky' and it fries onto the metal and you can never get it clean.
I'm lobbying strongly to just get a trim and am hoping the upcoming heat wave (surely, it's arriving soon - though from today's incredibly hard, fierce, fast moving rain storm, who knows?) will convince them to go back to really short 'boy hair'. Instead of going for the 'long hair' approach and then watching them both try to wedge in hair foofing into an already frequently ignored 'morning routine' that has them both running for the car to get to school in time.
I worked both days this weekend - feel like I've barely been home. But it's worth it - this time 4 weeks from now, we'll be on a beach in Hawaii - much to do before then, but I can't wait for a break. I know the weeks/days just before will wear me out completely - but I can relax when we get there. I plan to 'imbibe' a lot - which we don't usually do because the kids are 'impressionable' and we're careful to not make it seem 'ok' to drink...we rarely do. But honestly, I need a few Blue Hawaiians or some other kind of tropical cocktail - so I'm planning to enjoy.
J. is at the mall picking up Chinese food. Cheap, filling and no cooking required. I usually do a 'Sunday dinner' of some kind, but haven't been home...so we're eating out two nights in row. Bad, but we are.
I'm going to head outside for a bit to pull some weeds. There's nothing better than a quick, fast downpour to make stubborn weeds as easy to pull as cutting butter. Could be out there for hours working on the flower beds - our gardner doesn't really pull the weeds, he just whacks them with the weed whacker to the ground - so we spend hours trying to keep up. The price we pay for beauty - because in the Spring, our backyard is glorious. OH, that's another great 'spring' tradition - the Park's Seed Co. catalogs are flooding our mailbox with so many wonderful plants to try. Can't wait to place an order!!! and plant, plant, plant!
H. is like that, it appears. We went out to dinner last night and were standing waiting for our table when we all noticed - H. is now officially taller than B. AND, as if that shock wasn't bad enough, H. is also AS TALL AS his father - at 14.75 years old. His growth spurt the past few months is just incredible. Other than the growth of an amaryllis, I've never seen anything like it. And there's no sign that he's 'done' or even slowing down. He's always been a bit on the 'short' side of most of his classes - but no more. He's definitely caught up. And will soon pass up his dad, which is truly amazing.
We had to make an 'emergency' trip to Kohl's to get H. some new boxers. Apparently, he's been on the verge of 'going commando' for several days - barely having any underwear that fit him. He's a bit picky about his underwear, so I was skeptical - but we've solved the issue having procured him 8 pairs of boxers - to add to the few new 'silky' boxers he got for Christmas. He also wanted a new 'button down' shirt for church - but he was trying my patience looking and looking - (how can a kid be so darn picky- it's a shirt for crying out loud) - so we gave up. Of course, if we'd been at Zumiez, he could have found a shirt in 5 minutes - it just would have cost $30-40. He's worse than a girl, I think. His latest thing is: he's letting his hair grow and keeps complaining about it being curly. Both of the boys' hair has darkened quite a bit and gotten very curly - the longer it is, the curlier. My solution is simple: get a hair cut - a 2 and a 1 clipper trim which is what they've been getting for years - and problem solved. But no, H. wants to let his grow and then, STRAIGHTEN IT every morning with MY FLAT IRON. And as if that's not bad enough...that I'll be sharing my HAIR EQUIPMENT with my not quite 15 year old son, he'll use a ton of 'goop' on his hair, which as any girl knows, just ruins your electric flat iron. Gets it all 'gunky' and it fries onto the metal and you can never get it clean.
I'm lobbying strongly to just get a trim and am hoping the upcoming heat wave (surely, it's arriving soon - though from today's incredibly hard, fierce, fast moving rain storm, who knows?) will convince them to go back to really short 'boy hair'. Instead of going for the 'long hair' approach and then watching them both try to wedge in hair foofing into an already frequently ignored 'morning routine' that has them both running for the car to get to school in time.
I worked both days this weekend - feel like I've barely been home. But it's worth it - this time 4 weeks from now, we'll be on a beach in Hawaii - much to do before then, but I can't wait for a break. I know the weeks/days just before will wear me out completely - but I can relax when we get there. I plan to 'imbibe' a lot - which we don't usually do because the kids are 'impressionable' and we're careful to not make it seem 'ok' to drink...we rarely do. But honestly, I need a few Blue Hawaiians or some other kind of tropical cocktail - so I'm planning to enjoy.
J. is at the mall picking up Chinese food. Cheap, filling and no cooking required. I usually do a 'Sunday dinner' of some kind, but haven't been home...so we're eating out two nights in row. Bad, but we are.
I'm going to head outside for a bit to pull some weeds. There's nothing better than a quick, fast downpour to make stubborn weeds as easy to pull as cutting butter. Could be out there for hours working on the flower beds - our gardner doesn't really pull the weeds, he just whacks them with the weed whacker to the ground - so we spend hours trying to keep up. The price we pay for beauty - because in the Spring, our backyard is glorious. OH, that's another great 'spring' tradition - the Park's Seed Co. catalogs are flooding our mailbox with so many wonderful plants to try. Can't wait to place an order!!! and plant, plant, plant!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Technology
Technology is on my mind today, for many reasons.
I'm on our tech committee at work - and I attended my first meeting on that committee earlier this week. Much of the subject matter went completely over my head - charts and graphs about how many ports we have, how many we need. What our options are....it was confusing and I listened intently and still have no idea what we are doing, nor what we should do. Glad there were a lot of other people there far more technical than I.
I also recently acquired a Blackberry for my job - so I now have access to my emails 24/7. This is a good and a bad thing. Good, because I am out of my office quite a bit and it leaves me feeling out of touch and a bit on edge. Bad, because I am out of my office quite a bit and it has me feeling too in touch and still on edge. It's beckoning me, all the time, to check for new emails. So I'll know what crap is happening - and allow me to intervene before huge piles of it are created. But it's bringing out my OCD tendencies, in that I just can't NOT look at it. And yesterday, at an all day off site class, I learned a couple things. First, if you're like me and you are so technologically challenged that it took you several days to realize the 'receiver' wasn't actually on, so you weren't seeing your emails. I sort of realized this - nothing 'new' in my mobile while my in box at work was full - but I'm such a 'duh' when it comes to this stuff, I couldn't figure out what to do. SO J. finally helped me on Thursday evening. And on Friday morning, when I 'received' a bunch of emails all at once, I realized that if you leave it off, all the 'new' mail it receives will come in like it was received that day. When in fact, on your laptop Outlook mailbox connected to your mail server, they were actually received on a variety of dates - which were not all yesterday. I'm not sure how it 'syncs' itself and realizes that these seeming 'non-matches' are in fact, the same email. I will hopefully figure that out when I'm back in the office next week and decide to 'sync' my handheld with my laptop. And I learned that typing on it is a PITA. But I'll get better. It has the 'feature' that it tries to 'guess' what you're writing. But to me, the choices it selects make no sense. I could be typing 'be all you can be' and it will decide I'm writing 'beef bouillon' - it's crazy. J. says I can deactivate that feature, but...you guessed it....I can't figure out how to do that, either. But I brought the manual home, so there's hope.
Secondly, I learned this week that when your home laptop gives you pop-up messages stating 'updates are ready for your computer' and you keep selecting 'remind me later', you will pay for that in some way. Since loading TurboTax last weekend, I have periodically received a 'blue screen' error - not the 'blue screen of death', though the first time it happened, I thought it was and went running upstairs and woke J. up at 5:30am pleading with him to come help me. He graciously put his shorts on, and padded downstairs in his skivvies to try to help me. All it took was following the instructions - shut down the PC (hard shut-down) and then restart. It was fine. The wording on the screen said something about 'removing your files' which scared me - but it was having trouble 'reading' my hard drive, apparently. It restarted fine, but it kept happening and it was troublesome. We backed everything up - every single document and all the financials on this computer, including multiple years of tax returns, investment info, all of our banking information for close to 20 years, etc. And this morning, when it happened yet again, I finally did a Google search on the 'kernel-stack-in page-error' message we were getting and bingo - the fix was right there. And all it involved was accepting the Microsoft updates that I had been ignoring. And 'lo and behold, the PC is running better - pages load in milliseconds now, instead of taking their time. Fonts look better. Pages are more 'cleanly' formatted. It loads up pages and games like it was brand new - quickly and effortlessly.
So the next time it prompts me to update, I'm doing it right away. Not postponing thinking I don't want this update - no, I do, I REALLY do. Lesson learned.
And how amazing is it that we can all do searches in milliseconds for ANY TOPIC your mind can think up - and have hundreds, or thousands, or tens of thousands of 'articles' about that topic at your fingertip? Who could have ever imagined that way back when? Makes me wish we'd bought Cisco way back when. Oh, we should have. We didn't. I even had the gall to tell J. 'the Internet will never last'. What was I thinking? I couldn't visualize all this 'change' happening at such lightening speed back then. But now, I can. Technology is constantly evolving and changing and I can't imagine what our kid's kids will have at their fingertips someday. It truly boggles my mind to think about it. Libraries will probably be a thing of the past - or if they exist at all, they will just contain row after row of computers where people can research and read and 'transfer' reading material onto hand held document readers. I can't wait. I'm going to be in my 80's and be more excited about getting a new computer than my kids will be. I just love, love, LOVE all that the Internet has brought into my life. Blogs, news, games, writing...it's just great. And none of it would happen without technology.
Remember these simple rules:
a) If offered updates, accept them.
b) Read the manual. My husband would say something else with a swear word in it - but I'll just stick with 'read the manual'.
c) Blackberries are your friend. Use them judiciously. The email you were missing 4 days ago before you HAD the Blackberry will still be there when you check your email next time. It will be OK if you don't attempt to type a fairly complicated response on a keyboard the size of a credit card. People will understand. And you can always call them if you need to...if it's that important.
PS - Blogger spellcheck is now also miraculously working, after weeks without. Guess it required the updates, too.
I'm on our tech committee at work - and I attended my first meeting on that committee earlier this week. Much of the subject matter went completely over my head - charts and graphs about how many ports we have, how many we need. What our options are....it was confusing and I listened intently and still have no idea what we are doing, nor what we should do. Glad there were a lot of other people there far more technical than I.
I also recently acquired a Blackberry for my job - so I now have access to my emails 24/7. This is a good and a bad thing. Good, because I am out of my office quite a bit and it leaves me feeling out of touch and a bit on edge. Bad, because I am out of my office quite a bit and it has me feeling too in touch and still on edge. It's beckoning me, all the time, to check for new emails. So I'll know what crap is happening - and allow me to intervene before huge piles of it are created. But it's bringing out my OCD tendencies, in that I just can't NOT look at it. And yesterday, at an all day off site class, I learned a couple things. First, if you're like me and you are so technologically challenged that it took you several days to realize the 'receiver' wasn't actually on, so you weren't seeing your emails. I sort of realized this - nothing 'new' in my mobile while my in box at work was full - but I'm such a 'duh' when it comes to this stuff, I couldn't figure out what to do. SO J. finally helped me on Thursday evening. And on Friday morning, when I 'received' a bunch of emails all at once, I realized that if you leave it off, all the 'new' mail it receives will come in like it was received that day. When in fact, on your laptop Outlook mailbox connected to your mail server, they were actually received on a variety of dates - which were not all yesterday. I'm not sure how it 'syncs' itself and realizes that these seeming 'non-matches' are in fact, the same email. I will hopefully figure that out when I'm back in the office next week and decide to 'sync' my handheld with my laptop. And I learned that typing on it is a PITA. But I'll get better. It has the 'feature' that it tries to 'guess' what you're writing. But to me, the choices it selects make no sense. I could be typing 'be all you can be' and it will decide I'm writing 'beef bouillon' - it's crazy. J. says I can deactivate that feature, but...you guessed it....I can't figure out how to do that, either. But I brought the manual home, so there's hope.
Secondly, I learned this week that when your home laptop gives you pop-up messages stating 'updates are ready for your computer' and you keep selecting 'remind me later', you will pay for that in some way. Since loading TurboTax last weekend, I have periodically received a 'blue screen' error - not the 'blue screen of death', though the first time it happened, I thought it was and went running upstairs and woke J. up at 5:30am pleading with him to come help me. He graciously put his shorts on, and padded downstairs in his skivvies to try to help me. All it took was following the instructions - shut down the PC (hard shut-down) and then restart. It was fine. The wording on the screen said something about 'removing your files' which scared me - but it was having trouble 'reading' my hard drive, apparently. It restarted fine, but it kept happening and it was troublesome. We backed everything up - every single document and all the financials on this computer, including multiple years of tax returns, investment info, all of our banking information for close to 20 years, etc. And this morning, when it happened yet again, I finally did a Google search on the 'kernel-stack-in page-error' message we were getting and bingo - the fix was right there. And all it involved was accepting the Microsoft updates that I had been ignoring. And 'lo and behold, the PC is running better - pages load in milliseconds now, instead of taking their time. Fonts look better. Pages are more 'cleanly' formatted. It loads up pages and games like it was brand new - quickly and effortlessly.
So the next time it prompts me to update, I'm doing it right away. Not postponing thinking I don't want this update - no, I do, I REALLY do. Lesson learned.
And how amazing is it that we can all do searches in milliseconds for ANY TOPIC your mind can think up - and have hundreds, or thousands, or tens of thousands of 'articles' about that topic at your fingertip? Who could have ever imagined that way back when? Makes me wish we'd bought Cisco way back when. Oh, we should have. We didn't. I even had the gall to tell J. 'the Internet will never last'. What was I thinking? I couldn't visualize all this 'change' happening at such lightening speed back then. But now, I can. Technology is constantly evolving and changing and I can't imagine what our kid's kids will have at their fingertips someday. It truly boggles my mind to think about it. Libraries will probably be a thing of the past - or if they exist at all, they will just contain row after row of computers where people can research and read and 'transfer' reading material onto hand held document readers. I can't wait. I'm going to be in my 80's and be more excited about getting a new computer than my kids will be. I just love, love, LOVE all that the Internet has brought into my life. Blogs, news, games, writing...it's just great. And none of it would happen without technology.
Remember these simple rules:
a) If offered updates, accept them.
b) Read the manual. My husband would say something else with a swear word in it - but I'll just stick with 'read the manual'.
c) Blackberries are your friend. Use them judiciously. The email you were missing 4 days ago before you HAD the Blackberry will still be there when you check your email next time. It will be OK if you don't attempt to type a fairly complicated response on a keyboard the size of a credit card. People will understand. And you can always call them if you need to...if it's that important.
PS - Blogger spellcheck is now also miraculously working, after weeks without. Guess it required the updates, too.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Update
I no sooner hit the 'post' button on the last post and put dinner in the oven when the doorbell rang and there was my next order - EIGHT boxes this time - including two boxes of the caramel ones we all love. And J. told me about some oatmeal ones he had today that I had no idea existed - so now we'll be on the hunt for some outside our grocery store this weekend.
Cookies
It's that time of year - when the young ladies in green (or brown, depending on their age) knock on the door and hit you up for your annual order. And unlike years past, when the first little girl appeared, I used great restraint - I only ordered six boxes. Last year, when the first girl appeared, I sort of panicked thinking 'she'll be the only one' - and I ordered FOURTEEN boxes. And she was just the first girl last year. There were others. I lost count then, too. So I was pretty proud of myself....so very proud.
Then the next little girl came to the door - and she was as sweet as the first - so I ordered quite a few boxes from her, also. I actually now have no idea how many Girl Scout Cookies we should be expecting, but I know that 6 boxes are sitting on our kitchen counter. And I'm so glad because one young lady came by just a couple days ago carting her cookies in a wagon and asking me if I wanted to buy any and I hastily replied 'oh, no, I'm sorry, but I've already ordered so many'. And then I immediately regretted not buying some because 'heck, those would sure taste good and where are mine anyway'?? And then, we think she returned an hour or so later with one of our orders. I thought she looked familiar.
So far, I've only had three cookies - the peanut butter sandwiches, my 2nd favorite - one today at lunch and two last night after dinner. I haven't opened the Thin Mints yet - those are my absolute favorites. AND, I did not bring a box - or any boxes - into the study with me last night after dinner because I knew if I did, they would be eaten. And I would feel terrible later for having eaten so many. At some point in the evening, J. said 'may I have a cookie?' I replied sweetly 'sure, honey, they're in the kitchen'. He was as shocked as I was that I hadn't brought a box into our evening hangout but I said 'if I bring them here, I will eat the entire box - so I'm not doing that'.
We'll see how long that lasts. If this had been two weeks ago, when I felt ravenous all the time and craved really crappy food, and frequently could not stop myself from eating crappy food, I'd be doomed. But I've been 'good' the past week or so and it's somehow easier to resist. I enjoy a couple each night and one during the day - but I'm able to resist consuming entire tubes at a time - or worse, entire boxes at a time.
I just wish the other girl(s) I ordered from would show up soon 'cuz I already feel like we're going to run out any minute...and where are the caramel ones I know I ordered....and shouldn't I get some extra Thin Mints to freeze and get me through until next year....and.....
You get the picture. They are that special Spring treat that you can't wait for, hate to admit that you look forward to almost as much as Christmas or Spring Break....and when they're finally here, they are gone too quickly.
Then the next little girl came to the door - and she was as sweet as the first - so I ordered quite a few boxes from her, also. I actually now have no idea how many Girl Scout Cookies we should be expecting, but I know that 6 boxes are sitting on our kitchen counter. And I'm so glad because one young lady came by just a couple days ago carting her cookies in a wagon and asking me if I wanted to buy any and I hastily replied 'oh, no, I'm sorry, but I've already ordered so many'. And then I immediately regretted not buying some because 'heck, those would sure taste good and where are mine anyway'?? And then, we think she returned an hour or so later with one of our orders. I thought she looked familiar.
So far, I've only had three cookies - the peanut butter sandwiches, my 2nd favorite - one today at lunch and two last night after dinner. I haven't opened the Thin Mints yet - those are my absolute favorites. AND, I did not bring a box - or any boxes - into the study with me last night after dinner because I knew if I did, they would be eaten. And I would feel terrible later for having eaten so many. At some point in the evening, J. said 'may I have a cookie?' I replied sweetly 'sure, honey, they're in the kitchen'. He was as shocked as I was that I hadn't brought a box into our evening hangout but I said 'if I bring them here, I will eat the entire box - so I'm not doing that'.
We'll see how long that lasts. If this had been two weeks ago, when I felt ravenous all the time and craved really crappy food, and frequently could not stop myself from eating crappy food, I'd be doomed. But I've been 'good' the past week or so and it's somehow easier to resist. I enjoy a couple each night and one during the day - but I'm able to resist consuming entire tubes at a time - or worse, entire boxes at a time.
I just wish the other girl(s) I ordered from would show up soon 'cuz I already feel like we're going to run out any minute...and where are the caramel ones I know I ordered....and shouldn't I get some extra Thin Mints to freeze and get me through until next year....and.....
You get the picture. They are that special Spring treat that you can't wait for, hate to admit that you look forward to almost as much as Christmas or Spring Break....and when they're finally here, they are gone too quickly.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Thanks to Commenter
My previous post had a real, live comment from someone I don't know - and it was a complement. So thank you 'organized crime' from somewhere in Maryland - your comment was much appreciated. If you read this post and can let me know how you stumbled across my blog, I'd love to know.
Thanks for reading - it feels GREAT to have a reader I'm not either related to or good friends with [and thanks to all of them, too!]. Thanks very much for the kind words - you absolutely made my day!!
Thanks for reading - it feels GREAT to have a reader I'm not either related to or good friends with [and thanks to all of them, too!]. Thanks very much for the kind words - you absolutely made my day!!
Shattered
In a stunning twist of fate, everything I ever thought I knew about my oldest son has just been tossed out the window. The teen years are fraught with danger - everyone tells you that. But until you're actually IN THEM and the shit starts hitting the fan all over the place, you can't imagine that your little boy (or girl, I'm sure) - the one you look at and still think is a dream because you can't believe the person that was the size of a loaf of bread just yesterday is suddenly all grown up and making bad decisions right and left, seemingly overnight - you honestly can't imagine it can turn 'bad' so damn quickly.
I want to lock him in his room until he's 30. I want to restrict him to our home - never let him out of my sight again, EVER, because I now know I can't trust him to make the 'right' choice. I can't trust him to tell his friends 'no' when they want to do something stupid that he knows he shouldn't but he does it anyway because he felt 'pressured' into it. Want him to know that he and his brother are my life - that the thought of him risking his safety and the safety of others for 'fun' is just not OK.
What I am referring to is nothing earth shattering. No harm done. And yet, my entire world has changed in the span of less that 12 hours. The things that have been revealed during this night/morning are still processing in my brain and I am stunned. Just stunned. As J. said when I told him yet ANOTHER thing that was revealed 'I always knew he would break my heart someday'. And that day was yesterday.
And I am thanking God for keeping my sons and all the kids involved safe. They have angels on their shoulders, I'm sure because something really tragic could have happened and it didn't. And now that it's all 'out in the open', we are hoping he has learned his lesson and will think twice before doing something so stupid ever again.
As I write that last sentence, I know he will do other stupid stuff - because he's growing up and kids do stupid things. All the time.
It's hard to be too hard on him about some of what was revealed because he did FINALLY talk to us about it. Weeks/months after the fact but at least now we know - but the revelations make me wonder even more about what he still HASN'T told us. What else is happening in his life that he doesn't share with us? How do we know it's ALL been revealed? Will we ever feel OK about him again? Will we ever be able to believe that what he's telling us is the 'whole truth and nothing but the truth'? Because a lot of what he revealed could have stayed hidden - and we never would have known. But in his remorse about one thing, more things came pouring out...and I did my best to not lash out angrily. I listened, I acknowledged and I asked him to please not do these things anymore. But I'll never trust that he won't. Because I never would have imagined that he would, yet he did.
Kids are hard....all the sweetness and joy they bring to us as babies/toddlers and youngsters is for a reason - 'cuz if they started out as teens, no one would EVER procreate EVER. EVER.
I want to lock him in his room until he's 30. I want to restrict him to our home - never let him out of my sight again, EVER, because I now know I can't trust him to make the 'right' choice. I can't trust him to tell his friends 'no' when they want to do something stupid that he knows he shouldn't but he does it anyway because he felt 'pressured' into it. Want him to know that he and his brother are my life - that the thought of him risking his safety and the safety of others for 'fun' is just not OK.
What I am referring to is nothing earth shattering. No harm done. And yet, my entire world has changed in the span of less that 12 hours. The things that have been revealed during this night/morning are still processing in my brain and I am stunned. Just stunned. As J. said when I told him yet ANOTHER thing that was revealed 'I always knew he would break my heart someday'. And that day was yesterday.
And I am thanking God for keeping my sons and all the kids involved safe. They have angels on their shoulders, I'm sure because something really tragic could have happened and it didn't. And now that it's all 'out in the open', we are hoping he has learned his lesson and will think twice before doing something so stupid ever again.
As I write that last sentence, I know he will do other stupid stuff - because he's growing up and kids do stupid things. All the time.
It's hard to be too hard on him about some of what was revealed because he did FINALLY talk to us about it. Weeks/months after the fact but at least now we know - but the revelations make me wonder even more about what he still HASN'T told us. What else is happening in his life that he doesn't share with us? How do we know it's ALL been revealed? Will we ever feel OK about him again? Will we ever be able to believe that what he's telling us is the 'whole truth and nothing but the truth'? Because a lot of what he revealed could have stayed hidden - and we never would have known. But in his remorse about one thing, more things came pouring out...and I did my best to not lash out angrily. I listened, I acknowledged and I asked him to please not do these things anymore. But I'll never trust that he won't. Because I never would have imagined that he would, yet he did.
Kids are hard....all the sweetness and joy they bring to us as babies/toddlers and youngsters is for a reason - 'cuz if they started out as teens, no one would EVER procreate EVER. EVER.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Taxing
Decided that I would accomplish at least ONE solid thing over this 4 day weekend - my last 'break' from work for the near future (except the week of Spring Break when we will be in HAWAII)...but there are large projects/reports/deadlines looming long before I get on that plane and the next few weeks are going to be mind-bogglingly taxing. I feel more stress the past 4 days of NOT working than I can even describe because I know what awaits. I am often paralyzed with fear...literally. Just fear. Fear of not knowing; fear of not doing; fear of just freaking out and running screaming from the building - which I want to do on a fairly regular basis anyway. But I won't. Yesterday, I was. I was planning how to leave, figuring how we would survive, planning to get two part-time jobs to try to bring in any income I could and then calculating how much we would have to dip into savings to survive on J's income until something else comes along. It's do-able. But I won't do it....won't put us in financial peril and won't be that selfish. But boy, how I want to. More than words can say. I feel consumed by the job and it's not a feeling I want or need or like. And as soon as I can get the heck out of there, I am. Without a doubt. It gets better, but not really. And it's always not great in a way I can't describe. And those feelings of 'hey, this really sucks' hit me on long weekends when I'm trying my hardest to relax a bit - trying to enjoy my time at home and away. But it never happens. I feel consumed and think, fairly often, that this level of stress is just not healthy - and it's not worth it. I don't need the 'prestige' or the title - why am I doing this? I don't need this level of angst on a daily basis.
So today, I decided to tackle our taxes. Realizing as I worked on them that if the net number was seriously in the red and we owed BIG BUCKS, I was most likely doing the thing that would, quite possibly, send me over the edge. Because if I'm working this hard at a truly deeply stress-full job and end up realizing that NONE of the so called 'extra' money was making it's way into our bottom line, but instead was going to Uncle Sam, I was done for.
Entered J's income and we were getting a 9K refund. Great....but I knew it was too good to be true. Entered my W-2 info and the number went in the red - by thousands. But with deductions, donations, etc. we appear to be 'in the black' just slightly. We claim the fewest exemptions on his salary and the most on mine, since that's what the IRS tells you to do - and it seems to have worked. Still a bit to do to finalize that number - we gave a fair amount of clothing, etc. to charity and I still have to use the tax software to help assess the value of those items and then enter it - but it looks like we're OK. Our 'economy stimulus' tax rebate will likely go to pay our tax bill, but I can live with that. At least we're not shelling out serious $$ from savings. We've had to do that in years past and it sickens me...so as soon as I took the job in town, I upped my withholding big time, and J. did too. And he's putting double in his 401K than we were and that's helping as well - anything we can do to lower our taxable income, we are doing it.
J. took the boys to the golf course for a round of golf. B. did not make the golf team which surprises no one, including him. He gets himself 'driven' to do things, but always at the last minute. Deciding to try out just a couple months before the actual try-outs. Before that, he's enjoyed a few rounds of golf but certainly not a lot - and not in anyway demonstrating any true love of the game. He plays with friends and/or his brother and dad now and then, but he's a casual golfer. So he isn't surprised he didn't make it. And I'm proud of him for trying, but I also try to remind him that working hard consistently over a long period of time is what makes someone good at things - so if he really loves the game, he should keep playing and try out next year. We'll see.
We made a trip to Costco and really tried to watch the budget. They had gorgeous bamboo rugs which would look terrific in the family room - but I resisted. We did buy a shelf unit for the garage because we have made progress and need a place to put our 'extras' of things on shelves instead of on the garage floor. So we'll work on that next weekend - and may invest in one more shelf depending on what's still needing to be moved up off the floor. Still can't get a car in there, but we will after the Spring Cleanup pickup when we get rid of the old couch, H's old bed and various other items that have been offered on freecycle.org but with no takers, so far.
I am heading over the hill to Livermore to have dinner at Casa Oroszco with my friend J. She's had some major 'life events' of her own this past month and I want to catch up on how it's going and what's new. Always fun to see her...and she always helps me talk things through and get my head on straight. I need that....was desparate to see her yesterday when I felt like I was really freaking out about the job, etc....and while I feel 'better' today (for reasons I can't explain since there is absolutely nothing about the situation(s) at my job that changed overnight), I still want her perspective and insight and suggestions. And I want to offer mine for her, since she is now where I was - laid off and wondering what's next. She'll land on her feet, which is what she always said about me way back when - and I know it will be better than she ever imagined. 'Cuz that's how these things turn out, typically. Life after the corporate world is very sweet...even when you land in a job that you're not sure you should have landed in.
So today, I decided to tackle our taxes. Realizing as I worked on them that if the net number was seriously in the red and we owed BIG BUCKS, I was most likely doing the thing that would, quite possibly, send me over the edge. Because if I'm working this hard at a truly deeply stress-full job and end up realizing that NONE of the so called 'extra' money was making it's way into our bottom line, but instead was going to Uncle Sam, I was done for.
Entered J's income and we were getting a 9K refund. Great....but I knew it was too good to be true. Entered my W-2 info and the number went in the red - by thousands. But with deductions, donations, etc. we appear to be 'in the black' just slightly. We claim the fewest exemptions on his salary and the most on mine, since that's what the IRS tells you to do - and it seems to have worked. Still a bit to do to finalize that number - we gave a fair amount of clothing, etc. to charity and I still have to use the tax software to help assess the value of those items and then enter it - but it looks like we're OK. Our 'economy stimulus' tax rebate will likely go to pay our tax bill, but I can live with that. At least we're not shelling out serious $$ from savings. We've had to do that in years past and it sickens me...so as soon as I took the job in town, I upped my withholding big time, and J. did too. And he's putting double in his 401K than we were and that's helping as well - anything we can do to lower our taxable income, we are doing it.
J. took the boys to the golf course for a round of golf. B. did not make the golf team which surprises no one, including him. He gets himself 'driven' to do things, but always at the last minute. Deciding to try out just a couple months before the actual try-outs. Before that, he's enjoyed a few rounds of golf but certainly not a lot - and not in anyway demonstrating any true love of the game. He plays with friends and/or his brother and dad now and then, but he's a casual golfer. So he isn't surprised he didn't make it. And I'm proud of him for trying, but I also try to remind him that working hard consistently over a long period of time is what makes someone good at things - so if he really loves the game, he should keep playing and try out next year. We'll see.
We made a trip to Costco and really tried to watch the budget. They had gorgeous bamboo rugs which would look terrific in the family room - but I resisted. We did buy a shelf unit for the garage because we have made progress and need a place to put our 'extras' of things on shelves instead of on the garage floor. So we'll work on that next weekend - and may invest in one more shelf depending on what's still needing to be moved up off the floor. Still can't get a car in there, but we will after the Spring Cleanup pickup when we get rid of the old couch, H's old bed and various other items that have been offered on freecycle.org but with no takers, so far.
I am heading over the hill to Livermore to have dinner at Casa Oroszco with my friend J. She's had some major 'life events' of her own this past month and I want to catch up on how it's going and what's new. Always fun to see her...and she always helps me talk things through and get my head on straight. I need that....was desparate to see her yesterday when I felt like I was really freaking out about the job, etc....and while I feel 'better' today (for reasons I can't explain since there is absolutely nothing about the situation(s) at my job that changed overnight), I still want her perspective and insight and suggestions. And I want to offer mine for her, since she is now where I was - laid off and wondering what's next. She'll land on her feet, which is what she always said about me way back when - and I know it will be better than she ever imagined. 'Cuz that's how these things turn out, typically. Life after the corporate world is very sweet...even when you land in a job that you're not sure you should have landed in.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Fantasy
I'm off today and have time to fantasize. 'Cuz that's what I do on days off. Especially when my hubby is home, too.
OK, not that kind of fantasy.
I play a lot of 'time management' games online - and many these days involve some kind of farming. Planting, sowing, selling your product, crossing plants to create new plants. It's a fun way to pass what little down time I feel I have and it requires some skills in inventory management, planning ahead, etc. I like it. Granted, it's not physical labor like a real farm would be, and I'm sure it's a lot of hard work. But it interests me. And like when I had left my corporate life and had time to think about 'what do I want to do with the rest of my life', the fantasy of living on a farm somewhere is intriguing to me.
The fantasy part comes in when I factor in that we probably could actually do that right this very minute. Sell our home, sell many of our possessions and move somewhere where procuring a small home and a piece of land is do-able, as is living off our investments in this much smaller home. We would grow our own food. Our 'splurges' would be high speed internet. We wouldn't live 'high on the hog' - and we'd both probably try to find at least part-time jobs to supplement our income and make our draw on our savings/investments smaller each month. But it is probably feasible to consider. It is scary as hell to consider it, but it is feasibly do-able.
So on days like today, I think about that. I wonder why we keep getting up every day and heading into jobs that are making both of us nuts. Where we start each day saying 'another day, another dollar ninety five'. (We used to say 'another dollar' but with inflation and everything, and acknowledging that we make a lot momre than we did when we were first married, we upped it a bit). Where we come home wiped out, frustrated, stressed. And those feelings are becoming our 'norm'. We don't know any other way of 'life' so we think this is 'normal'. And it isn't. It honestly isn't - and if it is, it shouldn't be.
I'm on realtor.com and I'm looking at homes in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. There are some lovely homes available, on half acre to full acre lots. We could grow fresh veggies, maybe raise chickens for eggs. Spend our days working in the garden, working at the local diner a few days a week, etc. I ask J. (sitting behind me working away, since he works at home most Fridays) 'does it snow a lot in Idaho'. He chuckles ('cuz he knows what I'm doing) and says 'uh, yeah, honey, it does. A LOT'. 'Hmm', I reply - I acknoweldge that I'm reasonably sure I'd hate the snow and it would also be hard to grow food during winter months. Which would mean we'd grow a lot in Spring and Summer and I'd have to learn to can stuff for the winter months. That could be fun - but still, I don't like snow. I'll have to stay further west.
I know we won't do this, at least not in the immediate future. We have the kids (oh, yes,.....the kids...right....we have kids) and we love our home here. But this life is not sustainable on even one income, at least not as it's currently fashioned. So we stay. We keep plugging away. Saving as much as we can for our future. Surviving day to day.
Are we cowards? I think we're both pretty brave since we have high visibility, high stress jobs that we keep showing up at everyday - and that takes guts most days, let me tell you. But I wish often that we were brave enough to dare to see a different life for ourselves. Maybe in 7 years when the kids are out of college (hopefully) and we have more time to ponder our future and more money in the bank - 7 more years of saving and 'buying low' (since the market has tanked) is a good thing for investments. So we'll have to see where we are.
And I find strange comfort in this notion - that if things got REALLY bad ....I mean REALLY, REALLY BAD, we could pick up and leave. Move somewhere else. Survive on far less income than we're living on now. It's not that we will do it. But like dreaming of winning the lottery (which I also do twice a week, every week), it's the hope and the dream that can keep you moving forward. It's having faith that it will all work out, just the way it's supposed to - and be better than we ever imagined, as so much of our 'now' has turned out to be. I live for that. I hold onto that.
And I pray a lot, because God already has our plan in His hands and we just have to go where we are to be...where He guides our hearts to end up. And I have faith in Him, too, and I know it will be great. Better than I can ever imagine. And I live for that, too. I hold onto that as well.
It's the best I can do, even on days off.
OK, not that kind of fantasy.
I play a lot of 'time management' games online - and many these days involve some kind of farming. Planting, sowing, selling your product, crossing plants to create new plants. It's a fun way to pass what little down time I feel I have and it requires some skills in inventory management, planning ahead, etc. I like it. Granted, it's not physical labor like a real farm would be, and I'm sure it's a lot of hard work. But it interests me. And like when I had left my corporate life and had time to think about 'what do I want to do with the rest of my life', the fantasy of living on a farm somewhere is intriguing to me.
The fantasy part comes in when I factor in that we probably could actually do that right this very minute. Sell our home, sell many of our possessions and move somewhere where procuring a small home and a piece of land is do-able, as is living off our investments in this much smaller home. We would grow our own food. Our 'splurges' would be high speed internet. We wouldn't live 'high on the hog' - and we'd both probably try to find at least part-time jobs to supplement our income and make our draw on our savings/investments smaller each month. But it is probably feasible to consider. It is scary as hell to consider it, but it is feasibly do-able.
So on days like today, I think about that. I wonder why we keep getting up every day and heading into jobs that are making both of us nuts. Where we start each day saying 'another day, another dollar ninety five'. (We used to say 'another dollar' but with inflation and everything, and acknowledging that we make a lot momre than we did when we were first married, we upped it a bit). Where we come home wiped out, frustrated, stressed. And those feelings are becoming our 'norm'. We don't know any other way of 'life' so we think this is 'normal'. And it isn't. It honestly isn't - and if it is, it shouldn't be.
I'm on realtor.com and I'm looking at homes in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. There are some lovely homes available, on half acre to full acre lots. We could grow fresh veggies, maybe raise chickens for eggs. Spend our days working in the garden, working at the local diner a few days a week, etc. I ask J. (sitting behind me working away, since he works at home most Fridays) 'does it snow a lot in Idaho'. He chuckles ('cuz he knows what I'm doing) and says 'uh, yeah, honey, it does. A LOT'. 'Hmm', I reply - I acknoweldge that I'm reasonably sure I'd hate the snow and it would also be hard to grow food during winter months. Which would mean we'd grow a lot in Spring and Summer and I'd have to learn to can stuff for the winter months. That could be fun - but still, I don't like snow. I'll have to stay further west.
I know we won't do this, at least not in the immediate future. We have the kids (oh, yes,.....the kids...right....we have kids) and we love our home here. But this life is not sustainable on even one income, at least not as it's currently fashioned. So we stay. We keep plugging away. Saving as much as we can for our future. Surviving day to day.
Are we cowards? I think we're both pretty brave since we have high visibility, high stress jobs that we keep showing up at everyday - and that takes guts most days, let me tell you. But I wish often that we were brave enough to dare to see a different life for ourselves. Maybe in 7 years when the kids are out of college (hopefully) and we have more time to ponder our future and more money in the bank - 7 more years of saving and 'buying low' (since the market has tanked) is a good thing for investments. So we'll have to see where we are.
And I find strange comfort in this notion - that if things got REALLY bad ....I mean REALLY, REALLY BAD, we could pick up and leave. Move somewhere else. Survive on far less income than we're living on now. It's not that we will do it. But like dreaming of winning the lottery (which I also do twice a week, every week), it's the hope and the dream that can keep you moving forward. It's having faith that it will all work out, just the way it's supposed to - and be better than we ever imagined, as so much of our 'now' has turned out to be. I live for that. I hold onto that.
And I pray a lot, because God already has our plan in His hands and we just have to go where we are to be...where He guides our hearts to end up. And I have faith in Him, too, and I know it will be great. Better than I can ever imagine. And I live for that, too. I hold onto that as well.
It's the best I can do, even on days off.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's
I told J. a few days ago 'no fuss, no muss' related to V-day expenditures. I wanted no delivered flowers; no candy; no gifts. It's not that I don't appreciate those things - I do. But to me, this day has come to mean so much more to me than just 'things'. That, and I'm frugal.
I sent J. an e-Valentine's card last night to be delivered today. I also sent my sister a card - and this morning, from a completely different company than the company I sent mine from - I got the same card back from her - we picked the same card for each other. Isn't that cool? I just think that is so neat.
So this morning, I head downstairs and find a lovely card on my computer - from J. And I leave him one (paper card) on his chair. I had a meeting at one of our school sites first thing this morning, so I lingered at home a bit longer than usual.
Long enough to get the frantic call from H. telling me 'we're having trouble with the car'. My first thought - after I said 'are you safe? Stay in the car and have B. call the auto club - the number's on the back of the card he has that I hope is in his wallet' - was 'oh my gosh, this is going to cost a fortune to fix'. But thankfully, there was nothing mechanical involved. The kid ran out of gas. Twit. He thought he had enough to make it to school - though the light has been on for DAYS and he's been driving to the golf course everyday after school 'cuz he's trying out for the golf team. So I'm worried about the kids, and getting a bit frantic - have to arrange to call the school because B. will be late - and have to get H. to cross the street safely and get to school NOW - and have to explain to B. what to do if they send a tow truck and re-explain where to have them take the car if indeed, it does need repairs [since at first, we weren't sure it was just an 'out of gas' situation vs. a 'it's 8 years old and it may have just bitten the dust' and have to get a hold of J. to have him coordinate all of this on his way to SF on the BART train 'cuz I have to leave. I was a bit frazzled. I had no time to get my usual Starbucks beverage. I barely had time to get to the school by the meeting time (where I ended up waiting around for 1/2 hour for everyone else who was supposed to attend to GET THERE - why can't people get to a meeting that's been planned well in advance ON TIME?). I get into my car and find a small 'balloon on a stick' with 'I love you' on it tucked into the cup holder.
I love this man. I love him in ways I can't put into words. I love him because even when I tell him not to make any fuss, he still figures out a way to surprise me. And finding that surprise still makes my heart all fluttery, even if this is our 20th (WOW, I can't believe that many years has gone by) year of celebrating this celebration of love.
I sent J. an e-Valentine's card last night to be delivered today. I also sent my sister a card - and this morning, from a completely different company than the company I sent mine from - I got the same card back from her - we picked the same card for each other. Isn't that cool? I just think that is so neat.
So this morning, I head downstairs and find a lovely card on my computer - from J. And I leave him one (paper card) on his chair. I had a meeting at one of our school sites first thing this morning, so I lingered at home a bit longer than usual.
Long enough to get the frantic call from H. telling me 'we're having trouble with the car'. My first thought - after I said 'are you safe? Stay in the car and have B. call the auto club - the number's on the back of the card he has that I hope is in his wallet' - was 'oh my gosh, this is going to cost a fortune to fix'. But thankfully, there was nothing mechanical involved. The kid ran out of gas. Twit. He thought he had enough to make it to school - though the light has been on for DAYS and he's been driving to the golf course everyday after school 'cuz he's trying out for the golf team. So I'm worried about the kids, and getting a bit frantic - have to arrange to call the school because B. will be late - and have to get H. to cross the street safely and get to school NOW - and have to explain to B. what to do if they send a tow truck and re-explain where to have them take the car if indeed, it does need repairs [since at first, we weren't sure it was just an 'out of gas' situation vs. a 'it's 8 years old and it may have just bitten the dust' and have to get a hold of J. to have him coordinate all of this on his way to SF on the BART train 'cuz I have to leave. I was a bit frazzled. I had no time to get my usual Starbucks beverage. I barely had time to get to the school by the meeting time (where I ended up waiting around for 1/2 hour for everyone else who was supposed to attend to GET THERE - why can't people get to a meeting that's been planned well in advance ON TIME?). I get into my car and find a small 'balloon on a stick' with 'I love you' on it tucked into the cup holder.
I love this man. I love him in ways I can't put into words. I love him because even when I tell him not to make any fuss, he still figures out a way to surprise me. And finding that surprise still makes my heart all fluttery, even if this is our 20th (WOW, I can't believe that many years has gone by) year of celebrating this celebration of love.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Another Saturday Alone
J. took the boys snowboarding today - they left the house around 6 and aren't expected home for a few more hours. They had a wonderful day - beautiful, sunny, clear as a bell. J. said there were girls in ski pants and bikini tops around the lodge so I'm sure the boys enjoyed the scenery, too.
I got up around 8ish and headed downstairs. Chloe had already been up and had breakfast (thanks, my sweet husband) and after another quick trip outside, she returned to her lair to cuddle in the warmth of her blankies. I got on the computer, checked emails, etc. Was a veg-o-matic for most of the morning. A bit headachy and 'off' today. Sinus issues. I showered with a new bottle of Neutrogena Rain Bath and realized that I couldn't smell it at all. That gel has a unique, lovely scent - one of my all time favorite smells - and I couldn't smell any scent at all. I obviously have some kind of sinus issues and think it's time to get to the Dr. I miss smelling things. And I have a theory that I overeat because my sense of taste seems to be affected also - and I feel like I'm never 'satisfied' - so I keep eating...it's a theory. Makes sense to me and I'm going to see what my Dr. suggests.
Had on my list of errands today a trip to Trader Joe's - I had lunch yesterday with my wonderful friend N. and thought I would run that errand after lunch - but I took a wrong turn and ended up at the freeway so headed home. Which meant if I really wanted to hit TJ's this weekend (and I really did) I'd have to either drive back to Livermore or head to Stockton. The lure of a stop at Mervyn's to spend some gift cards I've been carrying around in my wallet for over a year made Livermore the final destination.
Driving J's car since he has the van. Was completey bummed to find my iPod not only dead (as in no power) but giving me a 'diagnostics menu' - which I can't turn off. Not a good sign. So didn't enjoy the MP3 hookup feature. Drive was uneventful except for someone's spare tire that apparently either flew off or out of a car on the freeway. I narrowly avoided it by slowing to an almost stop - but it rolled away and finally came to rest on the other side of the freeway.
I used to work at Mervyn's for many years - from 1980 until 1989. I have a long affinity for that store - which sadly, is lessening more and more. The store today was just gross - jammed full of merchandise displayed poorly. Could barely move through the woman's sales floor - just rack after rack of clothes jammed into a small space. Like going to a swap meet kind of place - where you have to look and look and have a hard time finding anything. Nothing I would wear - well, not exactly true - I did find a pair of jeans which I thought was on sale for $16.99. Also found a couple pairs of twill pants in a gray and a kind of light teal/blue. Turns out the pair of jeans was only $8.00 AND when I was paying for it, the sales clerk told me that if you buy one piece of clearance merchandise, you get two pieces free. FREE. So I got another pair of clearance jeans and a sweater. Even with the 2 other pairs of pants, after the discounts and minus the gift cards, my total out the door was under $20. SCORE!! Love it when you get a good deal...though it makes me sad that I can't find too much there anymore that I feel good about wearing. It's just changed a lot over the years.
Lunch yesterday was a blast - just loved visiting and catching up. And lunch with N. reminded me what it's like to work with people who are mutually supportive of each other. Who forgive each other their silly 'quirks' - at the end of our meal, I couldn't find my car key - my excuse is that I'm carrying a new work phone - a Blackberry w/ email - and my whole 'system' is just off - and I was trying out my new teeny, tiny purse that I hope to use when we travel to Hawaii in 6 weeks - and it just cracked N. up. Didn't piss her off. Didn't get her all 'huffy' and 'high on her horse'. She just laughed and helped me look - and of course, the key was just on the seating bench next to me. We laughed and laughed and I felt so blessed to have such a great friend. Miss that kind of laughter and helping each other. Have nothing like that at my (now) job. One more reason to miss the old place, still. Again. Always.
That was my day. Quiet. A little productive, and it was nice to not feel compelled to clean the house, etc. The cleaning ladies do that for us and it's made our weekends so much easier. More tranquil. I love it. Yes, there's always stuff to do - and we do a lot to maintain - but knowing they will arrive for the nitty gritty cleaning is a big load off all our minds.
Tomorrow is church - J. and B. are playing music all morning and I'm working at the coffee cart. We're trying to figure out how to get H. there for the 9:30 service - hopefully, J. and/or B. can run get him between practice and before the service starts. It will most likely end up that he'll stay home since he'd have to stay for both the 9:30 and the 11 service and I'm pretty sure he won't want to do that. Can't blame him for that.
The boys and I are off on Monday - though I will likley go in for a bit. I'm trying to get to the movies...have a couple I'd like to see and would like to see them rather than waiting for them to be out on Netflix.
My sister has already purchased her wedding gown - a beautiful light pinky/peach dress. So things are moving slowly with them, as usual. :-p
I got up around 8ish and headed downstairs. Chloe had already been up and had breakfast (thanks, my sweet husband) and after another quick trip outside, she returned to her lair to cuddle in the warmth of her blankies. I got on the computer, checked emails, etc. Was a veg-o-matic for most of the morning. A bit headachy and 'off' today. Sinus issues. I showered with a new bottle of Neutrogena Rain Bath and realized that I couldn't smell it at all. That gel has a unique, lovely scent - one of my all time favorite smells - and I couldn't smell any scent at all. I obviously have some kind of sinus issues and think it's time to get to the Dr. I miss smelling things. And I have a theory that I overeat because my sense of taste seems to be affected also - and I feel like I'm never 'satisfied' - so I keep eating...it's a theory. Makes sense to me and I'm going to see what my Dr. suggests.
Had on my list of errands today a trip to Trader Joe's - I had lunch yesterday with my wonderful friend N. and thought I would run that errand after lunch - but I took a wrong turn and ended up at the freeway so headed home. Which meant if I really wanted to hit TJ's this weekend (and I really did) I'd have to either drive back to Livermore or head to Stockton. The lure of a stop at Mervyn's to spend some gift cards I've been carrying around in my wallet for over a year made Livermore the final destination.
Driving J's car since he has the van. Was completey bummed to find my iPod not only dead (as in no power) but giving me a 'diagnostics menu' - which I can't turn off. Not a good sign. So didn't enjoy the MP3 hookup feature. Drive was uneventful except for someone's spare tire that apparently either flew off or out of a car on the freeway. I narrowly avoided it by slowing to an almost stop - but it rolled away and finally came to rest on the other side of the freeway.
I used to work at Mervyn's for many years - from 1980 until 1989. I have a long affinity for that store - which sadly, is lessening more and more. The store today was just gross - jammed full of merchandise displayed poorly. Could barely move through the woman's sales floor - just rack after rack of clothes jammed into a small space. Like going to a swap meet kind of place - where you have to look and look and have a hard time finding anything. Nothing I would wear - well, not exactly true - I did find a pair of jeans which I thought was on sale for $16.99. Also found a couple pairs of twill pants in a gray and a kind of light teal/blue. Turns out the pair of jeans was only $8.00 AND when I was paying for it, the sales clerk told me that if you buy one piece of clearance merchandise, you get two pieces free. FREE. So I got another pair of clearance jeans and a sweater. Even with the 2 other pairs of pants, after the discounts and minus the gift cards, my total out the door was under $20. SCORE!! Love it when you get a good deal...though it makes me sad that I can't find too much there anymore that I feel good about wearing. It's just changed a lot over the years.
Lunch yesterday was a blast - just loved visiting and catching up. And lunch with N. reminded me what it's like to work with people who are mutually supportive of each other. Who forgive each other their silly 'quirks' - at the end of our meal, I couldn't find my car key - my excuse is that I'm carrying a new work phone - a Blackberry w/ email - and my whole 'system' is just off - and I was trying out my new teeny, tiny purse that I hope to use when we travel to Hawaii in 6 weeks - and it just cracked N. up. Didn't piss her off. Didn't get her all 'huffy' and 'high on her horse'. She just laughed and helped me look - and of course, the key was just on the seating bench next to me. We laughed and laughed and I felt so blessed to have such a great friend. Miss that kind of laughter and helping each other. Have nothing like that at my (now) job. One more reason to miss the old place, still. Again. Always.
That was my day. Quiet. A little productive, and it was nice to not feel compelled to clean the house, etc. The cleaning ladies do that for us and it's made our weekends so much easier. More tranquil. I love it. Yes, there's always stuff to do - and we do a lot to maintain - but knowing they will arrive for the nitty gritty cleaning is a big load off all our minds.
Tomorrow is church - J. and B. are playing music all morning and I'm working at the coffee cart. We're trying to figure out how to get H. there for the 9:30 service - hopefully, J. and/or B. can run get him between practice and before the service starts. It will most likely end up that he'll stay home since he'd have to stay for both the 9:30 and the 11 service and I'm pretty sure he won't want to do that. Can't blame him for that.
The boys and I are off on Monday - though I will likley go in for a bit. I'm trying to get to the movies...have a couple I'd like to see and would like to see them rather than waiting for them to be out on Netflix.
My sister has already purchased her wedding gown - a beautiful light pinky/peach dress. So things are moving slowly with them, as usual. :-p
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Going to the Chapel
(I've been humming that song all day).
This morning, upon turning on my Blackberry, my voicemail reminder beeped. I had two new voicemails - from B., my sister's boyfriend, lover, house-mate....telling me to call him. It's 'important', he said. Followed by another voicemail again 'it's REALLY important so please call me' with a quick 'but everything's OK - nothing bad or anything - but CALL ME'. So I did - and he informed me that as of last night, my sister is his FIANCEE and he is her FIANCE! [I don't know how to get the 'dash' thing on the 'e']!!!! Yes, they are officially engaged. I am so over the moon happy for them - and can tell them both in this very public forum "Neener, neener, neener - I TOLD YOU SO". I've known their engagement was imminent. It was just destined to be. Oh sure, they tried to be all 'cool and casual' about the whole falling in love thing. 'We're taking it slow' was a common mantra. THAT went out the window that VERY DAY when after dropping me at the airport, they spent the entire day together and then (uh hum) the entire night together - the 'taking it slow' part long out the window.
THEN, it was logical they should move in together. Who wouldn't? K. was never at her house - which she was paying for each month to sit empty. Seemed logical to me...but they insisted 'no, we're enjoying what we have now' - my sister hinted 'oh, we'll probably move in together sometime in the New Year'. THAT went out the window when I received a card confirming a change of address effective January 1st, basically. I got the card just a couple weeks after my sister had said she was pretty sure we'd have time for one more 'party' at her house...that isn't going to happen, obviously - not that I mind a bit - no better reason to cancel a party, in my opinion.
I commented 'so a wedding can't be far behind'. OH NO, they replied. We're having so much fun - we're just so happy. They bought a motor home - a sure sign of commitment, don't 'ya think? Between you and me, internet friends, the motor home is what made me POSITIVE they were going to 'take it to the next level'. I mean, you don't mutually invest in a 2nd home on wheels if you are not seriously considering making this a permanent gig. You just don't ACQUIRE PROPERTY with someone you're not planning to be legally bound to FOREVER.
And FINALLY, after seven LONG months (LOL 'cuz it is pretty darn quick, even by my 'couldn't get J. to the altar fast enough' standards), they decided to acknowledge what I've known all along - they are getting married. In the fall sometime. TBD. No location, no date. And I will most definitely be there. Wherever they decide, whenever. If work things challenge me, I will simply fly in for the day and fly home all night if I have to. I will not miss this event. No way.
It's going to be a terrifically great party. They are so great together - and I'm so happy for them both. We all are. J. gave it 'two thumbs up' - we can't wait for them to drive the 2nd home up here for a visit. If not, we'll see them at the wedding! Whenever that celebration may be.
HAPPY ENGAGEMENT TO K. AND B. And much love to you both. I am so happy for you - and so honored to have watched the whole story 'unfold'. It's one of the greatest love stories of my life - and I'm living a really great one myself - so I know a good love story when I see it.
Going to the chapel
And we're gonna get married
Going to the chapel
And we're gonna get married
Gee I really love you
And we're gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love
YEAH!!! LOVE wins!
This morning, upon turning on my Blackberry, my voicemail reminder beeped. I had two new voicemails - from B., my sister's boyfriend, lover, house-mate....telling me to call him. It's 'important', he said. Followed by another voicemail again 'it's REALLY important so please call me' with a quick 'but everything's OK - nothing bad or anything - but CALL ME'. So I did - and he informed me that as of last night, my sister is his FIANCEE and he is her FIANCE! [I don't know how to get the 'dash' thing on the 'e']!!!! Yes, they are officially engaged. I am so over the moon happy for them - and can tell them both in this very public forum "Neener, neener, neener - I TOLD YOU SO". I've known their engagement was imminent. It was just destined to be. Oh sure, they tried to be all 'cool and casual' about the whole falling in love thing. 'We're taking it slow' was a common mantra. THAT went out the window that VERY DAY when after dropping me at the airport, they spent the entire day together and then (uh hum) the entire night together - the 'taking it slow' part long out the window.
THEN, it was logical they should move in together. Who wouldn't? K. was never at her house - which she was paying for each month to sit empty. Seemed logical to me...but they insisted 'no, we're enjoying what we have now' - my sister hinted 'oh, we'll probably move in together sometime in the New Year'. THAT went out the window when I received a card confirming a change of address effective January 1st, basically. I got the card just a couple weeks after my sister had said she was pretty sure we'd have time for one more 'party' at her house...that isn't going to happen, obviously - not that I mind a bit - no better reason to cancel a party, in my opinion.
I commented 'so a wedding can't be far behind'. OH NO, they replied. We're having so much fun - we're just so happy. They bought a motor home - a sure sign of commitment, don't 'ya think? Between you and me, internet friends, the motor home is what made me POSITIVE they were going to 'take it to the next level'. I mean, you don't mutually invest in a 2nd home on wheels if you are not seriously considering making this a permanent gig. You just don't ACQUIRE PROPERTY with someone you're not planning to be legally bound to FOREVER.
And FINALLY, after seven LONG months (LOL 'cuz it is pretty darn quick, even by my 'couldn't get J. to the altar fast enough' standards), they decided to acknowledge what I've known all along - they are getting married. In the fall sometime. TBD. No location, no date. And I will most definitely be there. Wherever they decide, whenever. If work things challenge me, I will simply fly in for the day and fly home all night if I have to. I will not miss this event. No way.
It's going to be a terrifically great party. They are so great together - and I'm so happy for them both. We all are. J. gave it 'two thumbs up' - we can't wait for them to drive the 2nd home up here for a visit. If not, we'll see them at the wedding! Whenever that celebration may be.
HAPPY ENGAGEMENT TO K. AND B. And much love to you both. I am so happy for you - and so honored to have watched the whole story 'unfold'. It's one of the greatest love stories of my life - and I'm living a really great one myself - so I know a good love story when I see it.
Going to the chapel
And we're gonna get married
Going to the chapel
And we're gonna get married
Gee I really love you
And we're gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love
YEAH!!! LOVE wins!
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Super
I volunteered to help out at the 'coffee cart' at church. The bulletin said they were looking for helpers - two shifts. An early 'set up/serve' and a later 'serve/clean up'. And a good friend is the coordinator of the cart and she's a lot of fun so I said 'sure'. Little did I know that the three people pictured in the bulletin are IT - the full 'crew'. So helping out once in a while isn't what I just signed up for - it's pretty much an every Sunday thing. And it was from 8AM until noon, with time out to attend the 9:30 service. It was fun and good 'experience' for my post-retirement job as a barista at Starbucks. It's hectic and busy and a bit intimidating, which kind of surprised me. Like all things, it takes time to learn and feel comfortable. This week was watching and learning - next week is the 'real deal' - taking orders, making drinks, etc. Hopefully, they'll get more volunteers and then, like B. and J. playing on Sundays, it will be a 'rotation' thing that I can do once or twice a month instead of feeling like I must be there every week. On the good side, though, it did get me up and moving and that's a good thing. And it got me to church today and will have J. and the boys there at 9:30 also starting next week.
So that was my entire morning and I was in a bit of shock getting up at 6ish this morning - that is just not a Sunday morning thing. Home for lunch, then took a nap (didn't plan to but was really tired), then out to run some errands (bank, Target) then home to watch the end of the game. We had chili and cornbread for dinner - easy and filling. We were rooting for the Pats so we're a bit disappointed at the moment.
For lent, I'm going to try really, REALLY hard to give up food and stick with Medifast during the day. I do pretty well during the week - I'm too busy to eat out (ever) and when/if I run home for lunch, I just give Chloe a quick break and head back - to avoid the temptation of eating. But weekends are hard - waffles, etc. for breakfast and dinners out. But I'm going to try to be 'strict' for the weeks of Lent - again, hoping that 'transition period' will help make it an 'everyday' thing long term. Of course, we leave for Hawaii on Good Friday and it will be hard to be 'good' on vacation. But we'll try. We're packing shake packets, soups, etc. and will try to just eat out once per day. I hope we can stick with it as much as possible. We'll have easy breakfasts and lunches for the kids and then try to go out for dinner each night.
LOST was FANTASTIC! Can't wait for next week! And also starting next week, a new Survivor. Oh, and Trading Spaces with Paige (again!!) is just terrific. I've also been making good use of Netflix - watching 'Family Affair' and 'The Doris Day Show' disc by disc. Fun and floods me with memories. As soon as I finish a disc, I mail it back and a new one arrives in just a couple days. I'm forbidding the kids going to Blockbuster anymore - they forgot to return a movie and we were charged for it. Thankfully, they took it back and reversed the charge - except for a $1.25 service charge for 'restocking' the movie. So that's it. Any movie they want, we can get on Netflix - they just have to tell me and I'll add it to the que and move the movie to the 'top' of the list so it will ship next.
Happy Super Bowl Sunday! and have a great week, everybody. I'll try to do the same.
So that was my entire morning and I was in a bit of shock getting up at 6ish this morning - that is just not a Sunday morning thing. Home for lunch, then took a nap (didn't plan to but was really tired), then out to run some errands (bank, Target) then home to watch the end of the game. We had chili and cornbread for dinner - easy and filling. We were rooting for the Pats so we're a bit disappointed at the moment.
For lent, I'm going to try really, REALLY hard to give up food and stick with Medifast during the day. I do pretty well during the week - I'm too busy to eat out (ever) and when/if I run home for lunch, I just give Chloe a quick break and head back - to avoid the temptation of eating. But weekends are hard - waffles, etc. for breakfast and dinners out. But I'm going to try to be 'strict' for the weeks of Lent - again, hoping that 'transition period' will help make it an 'everyday' thing long term. Of course, we leave for Hawaii on Good Friday and it will be hard to be 'good' on vacation. But we'll try. We're packing shake packets, soups, etc. and will try to just eat out once per day. I hope we can stick with it as much as possible. We'll have easy breakfasts and lunches for the kids and then try to go out for dinner each night.
LOST was FANTASTIC! Can't wait for next week! And also starting next week, a new Survivor. Oh, and Trading Spaces with Paige (again!!) is just terrific. I've also been making good use of Netflix - watching 'Family Affair' and 'The Doris Day Show' disc by disc. Fun and floods me with memories. As soon as I finish a disc, I mail it back and a new one arrives in just a couple days. I'm forbidding the kids going to Blockbuster anymore - they forgot to return a movie and we were charged for it. Thankfully, they took it back and reversed the charge - except for a $1.25 service charge for 'restocking' the movie. So that's it. Any movie they want, we can get on Netflix - they just have to tell me and I'll add it to the que and move the movie to the 'top' of the list so it will ship next.
Happy Super Bowl Sunday! and have a great week, everybody. I'll try to do the same.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Footnote
I was right - B. didn't text me yesterday. He thought it was just as 'odd' that I texted him in the middle of the day that I was at the dentist. J. had paged me on my cell phone earlier in the day - he was at Costco to get new tires on his car and I was on my way to pick him up - and when I saw the 'unread message' note, I went to messages and my last 'text trail' is what popped up. Funny.
It's cold and cloudy again today. Bummer. Yesterday was clear and sunny and it was such a nice change. I worked outside clearing standing water from one of our patio planters. What a mess. I used the soil that has the 'water retention' beads in it. Turns out that after days of rain, it turns into some odd kind of 'soup' with dead leaves that have dropped off the plant combined with dirt and oversoaked water beads. It was gross. Cleared everything out and drained as much water as I could. Guess I'll have to go out and cover the planter with some kind of plastic since it looks like rain is in the air. Again. These long, wet winters get old - and I'd never last a day in any environment that was snowy. Never.
H. begged J. to let him (H.) sleep as long as he wants this morning. Which frustrates the heck out of me since he has a birthday party at 2 today and we have church tomorrow morning...so his 'chore time' is already severely impacted. J. says he's up and once he has breakfast, he's on deck for working. SO I'd best head upstairs to finally put clothes on and start my day, as well.
PS - Blogger Spell Check is inoperable...so I'm doing the best I can to avoid spelling errors. Sorry for those I miss.
It's cold and cloudy again today. Bummer. Yesterday was clear and sunny and it was such a nice change. I worked outside clearing standing water from one of our patio planters. What a mess. I used the soil that has the 'water retention' beads in it. Turns out that after days of rain, it turns into some odd kind of 'soup' with dead leaves that have dropped off the plant combined with dirt and oversoaked water beads. It was gross. Cleared everything out and drained as much water as I could. Guess I'll have to go out and cover the planter with some kind of plastic since it looks like rain is in the air. Again. These long, wet winters get old - and I'd never last a day in any environment that was snowy. Never.
H. begged J. to let him (H.) sleep as long as he wants this morning. Which frustrates the heck out of me since he has a birthday party at 2 today and we have church tomorrow morning...so his 'chore time' is already severely impacted. J. says he's up and once he has breakfast, he's on deck for working. SO I'd best head upstairs to finally put clothes on and start my day, as well.
PS - Blogger Spell Check is inoperable...so I'm doing the best I can to avoid spelling errors. Sorry for those I miss.
Friday, February 01, 2008
One More
One more 'yeah' as a followup to my previous post:
I mailed off the final payment on H.'s orthodontics. Two phases times two kids over the span of close to 10 years. You do the math. Some small countries are funded with less than what we've paid for their pearly whites. We've issued the edict: you'd better be wearing your retainers as required because we have paid all we are going to pay for the straightening of the teeth in your mouths. Keep them there, keep them healthy and if you end up requiring follow-up work because they move again, that's on your dime. Hopefully, you'll have a job with good dental that might help offset a small portion of the expense.
And to emphasize that point, I kept my appointment for a teeth cleaning, in spite of it being made before I knew I'd be off today. I resisted the urge I awoke with to cancel the appointment and make it a 'free of commitments day'. But, it's been six months since my last cleaning and I am trying to set a good example, so I went. It wasn't a bad way to spend 40 minutes and then J. and I went out to lunch which is always a nice treat.
B. texted me at lunch ' Hi, what are you up to'? I sort of think he didn't really mean to text his mom. Not sure. It's highly unusual for him to send me a text for no reason. But I wrote back 'I'm getting my teeth cleaned' and he wrote back 'cool'. Huh? Oh well - it's all I've talked to him today so I won't complain. He came home from his drum lesson and a trip to the mall with friends and headed straight upstairs - PlayStation 3 and My Space. Haven't seen him since.
H. is here pouting because at 10PM he said that his friend invited him to spend the night and I said 'no'. He said 'why?'. I replied 'because I said no. Sleepovers are not something you arrange at 10PM - you arrange them before or just after dinner. Not at bed time. I suspect your friend has been haranging his parents most of the evening and they finally just gave in and said 'ok' - but it's not. It's 10PM and you're not going over there for the night.' I also reminded him that he owes me a ton of 'work time' tomorrow to pay off his debt - he used Christmas money and allowance for a new iPod last week - and we loaned him what he needed to make the purchase before the drive down to Hollywood last weekend. So he has a 'work Saturday' ahead of him tomorrow. I have a list of things he will be doing all day tomorrow to work off the debt. He could use allowance, but it will take him close to 3 months to pay it off using that method...and that isn't the deal. If he spends the night, he will not sleep. He will arrive home between 10am and noon and will be grumpy and exhausted...and he is required (as part of our extensive negotiations) to help willingly, cooperatively, extensively and with a cheerful demeanor. THAT is a stretch on most days but after spending the night with a friend, it would be completely impossible. And I'm not going there.
It's so fun being the mom of teens. Just levity and laughter 24/7.
I mailed off the final payment on H.'s orthodontics. Two phases times two kids over the span of close to 10 years. You do the math. Some small countries are funded with less than what we've paid for their pearly whites. We've issued the edict: you'd better be wearing your retainers as required because we have paid all we are going to pay for the straightening of the teeth in your mouths. Keep them there, keep them healthy and if you end up requiring follow-up work because they move again, that's on your dime. Hopefully, you'll have a job with good dental that might help offset a small portion of the expense.
And to emphasize that point, I kept my appointment for a teeth cleaning, in spite of it being made before I knew I'd be off today. I resisted the urge I awoke with to cancel the appointment and make it a 'free of commitments day'. But, it's been six months since my last cleaning and I am trying to set a good example, so I went. It wasn't a bad way to spend 40 minutes and then J. and I went out to lunch which is always a nice treat.
B. texted me at lunch ' Hi, what are you up to'? I sort of think he didn't really mean to text his mom. Not sure. It's highly unusual for him to send me a text for no reason. But I wrote back 'I'm getting my teeth cleaned' and he wrote back 'cool'. Huh? Oh well - it's all I've talked to him today so I won't complain. He came home from his drum lesson and a trip to the mall with friends and headed straight upstairs - PlayStation 3 and My Space. Haven't seen him since.
H. is here pouting because at 10PM he said that his friend invited him to spend the night and I said 'no'. He said 'why?'. I replied 'because I said no. Sleepovers are not something you arrange at 10PM - you arrange them before or just after dinner. Not at bed time. I suspect your friend has been haranging his parents most of the evening and they finally just gave in and said 'ok' - but it's not. It's 10PM and you're not going over there for the night.' I also reminded him that he owes me a ton of 'work time' tomorrow to pay off his debt - he used Christmas money and allowance for a new iPod last week - and we loaned him what he needed to make the purchase before the drive down to Hollywood last weekend. So he has a 'work Saturday' ahead of him tomorrow. I have a list of things he will be doing all day tomorrow to work off the debt. He could use allowance, but it will take him close to 3 months to pay it off using that method...and that isn't the deal. If he spends the night, he will not sleep. He will arrive home between 10am and noon and will be grumpy and exhausted...and he is required (as part of our extensive negotiations) to help willingly, cooperatively, extensively and with a cheerful demeanor. THAT is a stretch on most days but after spending the night with a friend, it would be completely impossible. And I'm not going there.
It's so fun being the mom of teens. Just levity and laughter 24/7.
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Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)'...
