Chloe is decidedly not right this morning. She was whining to go out when I came downstairs just after 4AM and has been out more times than I can count. She's trying to poop - but not pooping. Over and over and over. Her tail's still wagging and she seems 'chipper' but a mom knows - she keeps doing her upward dog yoga stretches trying to work out whatever's bugging her. I think J. will need to take her to the vet and it's probably something simple like her gland needs to be emptied or something. (Always truly grateful for a hubby who handles vet visits).
I woke up uber-early and realized I was heading back to sleep less than an hour before my alarm would go off so I got up. It seemed wise at the time. It seems less so an hourish later when I feel the need for sleep overpowering me.
Work passed quickly enough and I made slight progress on budget stuff. Maybe the accomplishment of the day was just getting back into things - refreshing my memory on the status of things re: construction; getting updated by my boss; confirming plans for May board meeting, etc. . It was a fine day as days go - and it felt sort of good to let the 'home' stuff pend (in my mind) for a bit and focus on something else besides PICC line flushes, appointments and the what-ifs of things.
Didn't hear from B. this weekend. Well....wait a minute - I did hear from B. on Saturday (or maybe it was Friday) when he needed a loan. Which I gave him. Then I regretted giving it to him 'cuz he wanted to loan so he could go to Buffalo Wild Wings and watch some fight with his buddies. I'm not sure I should be loaning him money to drink and carouse with friends? Is that really a reason to ask someone to loan you money until payday? (Which he thought was today but it's actually Thursday). So then I ruminated many hours that night about B. and his drinking and scolded myself for enabling him to keep spending money on things that he really, truly doesn't need to spend money on.
The weather is turning scorching hot this week and I can feel it when outside this morning - the winter chill has left and it's cool but very warm for early morning. 90's later this week!
As I showered yesterday, I decided to try to shower like we used to at the cabin. Get wet and turn off water. Soap up. Turn water on and rinse. Don't let the water run while you're getting lids off things or closing things up. We are in a serious drought and I feel compelled to do our part. (I admit my motivation is the guilt I feel when we water patio flowers that are purely for color - not sustenance).
I'm even considering paying an outrageous amount of money for us to get our cars washed at the really 'good' car wash in town where I know they recycle water. I can't bring myself to let H. wash the cars in the driveway...it seems like such a waste.
I'd gladly do all these things if the orange growers in the state could get more water for their trees....but I'm not really sure who/what/when/where it's decided on who gets water. Seems very political - isn't everything? And many are just giving up and letting the trees die which seems so wrong.
H. felt good enough to help with some cleaning things - climbed up on a ladder to thoroughly clean the ceiling fan in the family room. I'm 'hiring' him to do the same in the bedrooms upstairs. The cleaning crew swears they do the fans 'on rotation' but I truly think they haven't cleaned them in ages. Of course, I noticed sitting in the family room when we had company over the weekend.
I have been awake close to two hours and other than taking the dog out a zillion times, I've done nothing productive. Better remedy that. I have thank you notes to write to folks who made us dinners. Yesterday, so many folks offered to continue to cook for us but I just couldn't feel OK about that - I'm back at work and we will manage. But someone said 'maybe on the weekends that H. has chemo, you might appreciate not having to think about dinner'. So we will see. People are so kind.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Calendars
I've printed out good old-fashioned paper calendars for me to use to keep track of the 'events' happening on the home front. Sure, J. has things on his calendar - but I don't have access to that calendar. I could enter things day by day on my work calendar but it really helps me to 'see' everything at a glance month-by-month. Reminders for us all about home nurse visits; doctors appointments; chemo appointments. etc. .
H. just asked 'Mom, you go back to work tomorrow, right?' Hence the calendars.
Spaghetti for dinner! And - I'm trying something a little creative. H. got a zillion Peeps in every color of the rainbow from his aunt. I am making little mini cupcakes (yellow cake) and have dissected Peeps to put a little marshmallow surprise in each cupcake. First, I cut off their tails and used those in the cupcakes. Then, their heads. (I put them in the cupcake holders on top of the batter face down - so I couldn't see their little eyes staring up at me as I smothered them in another layer of batter). Then I chopped up their bodies. Not sure how they will turn out but we'll know shortly. The cake batter mix doesn't have baking time for minis (why not??) so I have to guestimate the bake time.
We officially cancelled the Cancun condo rental yesterday - sort of sad but needed to be done. We're going to ask the oncologist to write a letter documenting that H. is under treatment for Hodgkin's and will be undergoing chemo and radiation for the next six to eight months and requires care. Hoping United Airlines will refund the full price of the tickets vs. getting a credit we have to use within 12 months - 'cuz we just don't know what the future holds and I don't want to waste that kind of money.
Though we are considering a weekend in New York? Even a weekend in Cancun? We'll see.
After dinner will be getting clothes ready; packing lunch and snacks.
Recipe fail. The Peeps melted - and the larger pieces (I was inconsistent in the sizing of the inserted Peeps) melted and collapsed the batter - so some of the cupcakes have crater-like holes in the middle. Hollow with cake around them. Hmmm. Haven't eaten them yet but they will probably taste pretty OK.
It's a new world around here. I feel it every minute of every day. Everything is 'since his diagnosis'. Or 'since his hospitalization'. Increments of time measured from those life-changing days.
He seems completely fine. If you see him, he is up and about and totally fine.
Only he's not. And it's the 'not' that is mind-boggling hard to handle. I am consumed with thoughts of all of it constantly. I hope my compartmentalizing skills will return tomorrow so work is work and home is home. I'm pretty good at that. I need to be that way 'cuz work is really something most of the time and when I leave work, I want to leave it. Same with home - more than every now, 'cuz there's sure a lot happening here that would be easy to overlap with work.
I'll figure it out.
H. just asked 'Mom, you go back to work tomorrow, right?' Hence the calendars.
Spaghetti for dinner! And - I'm trying something a little creative. H. got a zillion Peeps in every color of the rainbow from his aunt. I am making little mini cupcakes (yellow cake) and have dissected Peeps to put a little marshmallow surprise in each cupcake. First, I cut off their tails and used those in the cupcakes. Then, their heads. (I put them in the cupcake holders on top of the batter face down - so I couldn't see their little eyes staring up at me as I smothered them in another layer of batter). Then I chopped up their bodies. Not sure how they will turn out but we'll know shortly. The cake batter mix doesn't have baking time for minis (why not??) so I have to guestimate the bake time.
We officially cancelled the Cancun condo rental yesterday - sort of sad but needed to be done. We're going to ask the oncologist to write a letter documenting that H. is under treatment for Hodgkin's and will be undergoing chemo and radiation for the next six to eight months and requires care. Hoping United Airlines will refund the full price of the tickets vs. getting a credit we have to use within 12 months - 'cuz we just don't know what the future holds and I don't want to waste that kind of money.
Though we are considering a weekend in New York? Even a weekend in Cancun? We'll see.
After dinner will be getting clothes ready; packing lunch and snacks.
Recipe fail. The Peeps melted - and the larger pieces (I was inconsistent in the sizing of the inserted Peeps) melted and collapsed the batter - so some of the cupcakes have crater-like holes in the middle. Hollow with cake around them. Hmmm. Haven't eaten them yet but they will probably taste pretty OK.
It's a new world around here. I feel it every minute of every day. Everything is 'since his diagnosis'. Or 'since his hospitalization'. Increments of time measured from those life-changing days.
He seems completely fine. If you see him, he is up and about and totally fine.
Only he's not. And it's the 'not' that is mind-boggling hard to handle. I am consumed with thoughts of all of it constantly. I hope my compartmentalizing skills will return tomorrow so work is work and home is home. I'm pretty good at that. I need to be that way 'cuz work is really something most of the time and when I leave work, I want to leave it. Same with home - more than every now, 'cuz there's sure a lot happening here that would be easy to overlap with work.
I'll figure it out.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Expenses...Yee Gads
For no reason I can explain, I decided to log on to our health insurance website - and Holy Crap doesn't begin to cover it. Never, ever more thankful for good insurance - and even though we moved to a higher deductible policy a couple years ago - and since doing that have had several 'major' medical things happen...the kind the actuarials say are 'once every five-ten year events' type things and we've had several...but even with those events combined with our higher deductibles, we are still so lucky to be well-insured.
H.'s week long adventure is approaching $320,000 in bills. We will pay about $5K of that out of pocket. Wow. I can't imagine. The helicopter was $40,000. His stay in Modesto was just over $250,000. Add in assorted radiologists; specialists; oncologist; etc. - and you have WOW wrapped in nice neat package - which undoubtedly looks like a bar of gold. A very heavy bar of gold wrapped in high denomination bills.
I paid the hospital what they calculated we would owe based on the deductible we'd met so far on our policy....and of course, the actual submission of bills had them last in line (vs. first) towards deductible. Resulting in me overpaying them by several thousand dollars. Hoping we can easily get that back once they get confirmation from my insurance that I only should have paid them $700 vs. $4,100. I will need that difference back 'cuz the ambulance was first and I owe them $2400. Pronto. Ambulances are always first, right?
My wonderful finance guy J. will help figure it all out and he will be driving to Modesto a couple times in the next week or two anyway - so he can swing by the hospital to hopefully get a credit on our American Express card. (I didn't have the check book with me and figured 'why not get cash back?'...).
We had a lovely visit with a family we met when H. was in rehab 4 summers ago. P. is a lovely girl and she and H. have kept in touch over the years. Thanks to Facebook, we keep up with their family and have watched Phoebe's little girl A. grow up on Facebook. Phoebe's parents are two of the sweetest people - and from England! A. used to be a nurse but is now working in hospitals helping with construction projects, etc. - and D. is a librarian. They are a hoot - and even though we haven't seen them in 4 years or so, we picked up right where we left off. Lovely visit and hope we are able to see them again soon. D. IM'd me on Facebook very shortly after we confirmed H.'s diagnosis and said "P. really wants to see him". They drove out from Alameda (about an hour and a half from here). So nice of them to come out.
I am mildly thinking about going in to work for a bit tomorrow...just to tidy up my desk; organize a bit. When I stopped by this week, I realized that I had left in a hurry and it is a wreck....and I need to get a grip on things in preparation for a very busy week.
I feel OK about going back - and grateful for a job that does allow flexibility in my schedule. My days are my own - and meetings can be adjusted or missed if needed. I don't have to worry about using sick time for appointments - just do what I need to do. Being able to go in late as needed will be a huge help and same with needing to leave early. I can manage to wedge it all in somehow.
That's how I feel today. Remind me I said all this in a few days when I feel it all crashing down...
Chloe went outside this morning and spent time burrowing, sniffing, 'hunting' and running around for awhile. I finally gave up and closed the door and left her to it. Big mistake 'cuz she ate something that has made her sick - she's been barfing all day. Ugh. We wondered if she was just upset from having an 18 month toddler roaming around - but I'm pretty sure she ate something she shouldn't have in her foraging. Chloe wasn't sure what to think about A. . You could almost see her pensively thinking 'I'm doing my best to adjust to adult visitors and now I am informed strangers come in smaller sizes, too? And they run around and squeal and laugh and cry and....'. It was too much for her. We knew she wouldn't hurt A. - but she ended up spending most of their visit doing a low 'growl' - just to make it known that she was not sure about any of this.
The new fridge is making ice as fast as it can. We've cycled two plus gallons of water through the water dispenser and threw out the first half tub of ice and are now a 'go' dispensing whatever we need. The water pump to the ice maker is a little louder than our old fridge but we will adjust. Once it's full, it will hardly ever need to fill. The freezer is totally empty but we will start moving stuff in from the outside freezer today. Costco trip tomorrow where we will resist filling it up.
H. is doing well and is out and about again today. He was home very late (early) this morning and I worry about him when I get up at 1AM and realize he's not home yet. I try to remind myself that it's better he goes out when he's feeling good 'cuz there are going to be plenty of days when he's not going to be feeling good. Next weekend will likely be him not feeling great - and every other weekend thereafter for a few months, assuming the scheduling doesn't change too much.
H.'s week long adventure is approaching $320,000 in bills. We will pay about $5K of that out of pocket. Wow. I can't imagine. The helicopter was $40,000. His stay in Modesto was just over $250,000. Add in assorted radiologists; specialists; oncologist; etc. - and you have WOW wrapped in nice neat package - which undoubtedly looks like a bar of gold. A very heavy bar of gold wrapped in high denomination bills.
I paid the hospital what they calculated we would owe based on the deductible we'd met so far on our policy....and of course, the actual submission of bills had them last in line (vs. first) towards deductible. Resulting in me overpaying them by several thousand dollars. Hoping we can easily get that back once they get confirmation from my insurance that I only should have paid them $700 vs. $4,100. I will need that difference back 'cuz the ambulance was first and I owe them $2400. Pronto. Ambulances are always first, right?
My wonderful finance guy J. will help figure it all out and he will be driving to Modesto a couple times in the next week or two anyway - so he can swing by the hospital to hopefully get a credit on our American Express card. (I didn't have the check book with me and figured 'why not get cash back?'...).
We had a lovely visit with a family we met when H. was in rehab 4 summers ago. P. is a lovely girl and she and H. have kept in touch over the years. Thanks to Facebook, we keep up with their family and have watched Phoebe's little girl A. grow up on Facebook. Phoebe's parents are two of the sweetest people - and from England! A. used to be a nurse but is now working in hospitals helping with construction projects, etc. - and D. is a librarian. They are a hoot - and even though we haven't seen them in 4 years or so, we picked up right where we left off. Lovely visit and hope we are able to see them again soon. D. IM'd me on Facebook very shortly after we confirmed H.'s diagnosis and said "P. really wants to see him". They drove out from Alameda (about an hour and a half from here). So nice of them to come out.
I am mildly thinking about going in to work for a bit tomorrow...just to tidy up my desk; organize a bit. When I stopped by this week, I realized that I had left in a hurry and it is a wreck....and I need to get a grip on things in preparation for a very busy week.
I feel OK about going back - and grateful for a job that does allow flexibility in my schedule. My days are my own - and meetings can be adjusted or missed if needed. I don't have to worry about using sick time for appointments - just do what I need to do. Being able to go in late as needed will be a huge help and same with needing to leave early. I can manage to wedge it all in somehow.
That's how I feel today. Remind me I said all this in a few days when I feel it all crashing down...
Chloe went outside this morning and spent time burrowing, sniffing, 'hunting' and running around for awhile. I finally gave up and closed the door and left her to it. Big mistake 'cuz she ate something that has made her sick - she's been barfing all day. Ugh. We wondered if she was just upset from having an 18 month toddler roaming around - but I'm pretty sure she ate something she shouldn't have in her foraging. Chloe wasn't sure what to think about A. . You could almost see her pensively thinking 'I'm doing my best to adjust to adult visitors and now I am informed strangers come in smaller sizes, too? And they run around and squeal and laugh and cry and....'. It was too much for her. We knew she wouldn't hurt A. - but she ended up spending most of their visit doing a low 'growl' - just to make it known that she was not sure about any of this.
The new fridge is making ice as fast as it can. We've cycled two plus gallons of water through the water dispenser and threw out the first half tub of ice and are now a 'go' dispensing whatever we need. The water pump to the ice maker is a little louder than our old fridge but we will adjust. Once it's full, it will hardly ever need to fill. The freezer is totally empty but we will start moving stuff in from the outside freezer today. Costco trip tomorrow where we will resist filling it up.
H. is doing well and is out and about again today. He was home very late (early) this morning and I worry about him when I get up at 1AM and realize he's not home yet. I try to remind myself that it's better he goes out when he's feeling good 'cuz there are going to be plenty of days when he's not going to be feeling good. Next weekend will likely be him not feeling great - and every other weekend thereafter for a few months, assuming the scheduling doesn't change too much.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Just Stuff
H.'s hair is already thinning - I ordered a good razor for him so he's ready. When he's ready. The thinning isn't hugely noticeable but I do see what he sees - getting a little thin on the sides. Surprising after only one treatment.
The Home Nurse came today at our request because the dressing over his PICC line needed a change. They are now planning to visit every Tuesday and Friday and may add a third should we need it. BUT - the PICC lines are already not working well - she could only get blood from one (should be able to get blood from all three) so she is suggesting we try to get a Life Port instead. The Life Port is a central line that is in his chest. It won't require flushings (now up to 3x per day on one and 2x per day on two); or dressings of any kind. It is completely fine for bathing/showering and requires no special care. Sounds like a dream and we definitely want to do that for a better, easier longer-term plan. Not sure why they did a 3-port PICC - she said they are pretty 'rare' and one line would be plenty - but it was put in during his ICU days and they did have a lot of meds going in at one time. So three might not have seemed like 'too many' back then.
I visited work today briefly and left feeling scared out of my mind that I can't do this. I can't be the C B O of a district and the mom of a seriously ill kid. I'm not sure the two are compatible with life. Seriously. It's really got me flummoxed....but it is what it is. I will have to go directly into 'building the 14-15 budget mode' in hyper over-drive (losing 2.5 weeks this time of year is hard to overcome) just to get things done - while still trying to keep it together and help out here - while simultaneously trying to keep it together re: me, myself and I. It's hard to think about it all right now....so I just keep tamping it all down. Which never helps.
A good cry is on the horizon. Like the Holly Hunter character in Broadcast News - where she has a good cry every day and just gets it out. I did that several times during H.'s hospital stay and I have to say it felt really good to just let it all out. So maybe doing that will help.
I will regroup. It will be fine. J. is great with everything here and I have never been more grateful that he's retired 'cuz he can easily to all the driving to/from appointments. Make phone calls. Etc. . What we can do together, we will - and there will be plenty of times when my days are less hectic.
Example: we are not going to Cancun in July - so those days will be low-key on the work front. Summer is 'easy' for me once budget is done and I'll be able to work shorter days and be there for appointments, etc. . And when radiation starts, I can be there for those appointments.
There's still so much to come. In spite of all he's been through already - there's just so much more to this....and I struggle knowing that. Struggle to hide that I know that - 'cuz he's 20 and thinks it will all be as easy as the first chemo. It likely won't.
The Home Nurse came today at our request because the dressing over his PICC line needed a change. They are now planning to visit every Tuesday and Friday and may add a third should we need it. BUT - the PICC lines are already not working well - she could only get blood from one (should be able to get blood from all three) so she is suggesting we try to get a Life Port instead. The Life Port is a central line that is in his chest. It won't require flushings (now up to 3x per day on one and 2x per day on two); or dressings of any kind. It is completely fine for bathing/showering and requires no special care. Sounds like a dream and we definitely want to do that for a better, easier longer-term plan. Not sure why they did a 3-port PICC - she said they are pretty 'rare' and one line would be plenty - but it was put in during his ICU days and they did have a lot of meds going in at one time. So three might not have seemed like 'too many' back then.
I visited work today briefly and left feeling scared out of my mind that I can't do this. I can't be the C B O of a district and the mom of a seriously ill kid. I'm not sure the two are compatible with life. Seriously. It's really got me flummoxed....but it is what it is. I will have to go directly into 'building the 14-15 budget mode' in hyper over-drive (losing 2.5 weeks this time of year is hard to overcome) just to get things done - while still trying to keep it together and help out here - while simultaneously trying to keep it together re: me, myself and I. It's hard to think about it all right now....so I just keep tamping it all down. Which never helps.
A good cry is on the horizon. Like the Holly Hunter character in Broadcast News - where she has a good cry every day and just gets it out. I did that several times during H.'s hospital stay and I have to say it felt really good to just let it all out. So maybe doing that will help.
I will regroup. It will be fine. J. is great with everything here and I have never been more grateful that he's retired 'cuz he can easily to all the driving to/from appointments. Make phone calls. Etc. . What we can do together, we will - and there will be plenty of times when my days are less hectic.
Example: we are not going to Cancun in July - so those days will be low-key on the work front. Summer is 'easy' for me once budget is done and I'll be able to work shorter days and be there for appointments, etc. . And when radiation starts, I can be there for those appointments.
There's still so much to come. In spite of all he's been through already - there's just so much more to this....and I struggle knowing that. Struggle to hide that I know that - 'cuz he's 20 and thinks it will all be as easy as the first chemo. It likely won't.
Mechanics
Having H. home not quite a week has sure changed the landscape around here. A huge box of medical supplies was delivered Thursday along with a visit from a home health nurse. The PICC line has to be flushed twice a day and dressing change once a week. We are doing the flushes now (after being trained) and the dressing changes happen when the nurse visits every week. Only we are thinking we are going to need to be trained on that too (they seem reluctant to let us do that and I don't blame them - direct lines to his heart aren't something we feel too comfortable messing with either - but we also don't like a sweat-drenched bandage staying on him for days after it should) - so we'll see.
We had the first visit with the oncologist yesterday and H. is set for chemo next week in the doctor's office. I am so relieved about that. We glanced at the infusion therapy room at the hospital as we were departing last week and I can't imagine a more depressing place to receive cell-killing fluids. Picture a huge room with a ton of people sitting on 'chaise-like' chairs all hooked to IVs. No privacy. No entertainment to pass the time. It looked and felt depressing just passing by. The doctor's infusion room is big but each patient has a little 'cubby'-like space for a little privacy. Each chaise has it's own TV and one family member can sit with the patient as well. The nurses were very nice.
As infusions go (we've recently learned), H.'s is pretty quick. Probably 3 hours total. We are trying to prepare him for the next infusion to likely not be quite as 'easy' as the first. And so on and so on. But he's 20 and as far as he's concerned, it's pretty easy so far.
I'm fine with him sticking with that - and pray he's right and they are all 'pretty easy'.
We've had delicious meals delivered by friends the last week - including the saint of a friend who cooked Easter dinner for us. Ham, fresh green beans, sweet potatoes, rolls and chocolate cream pie for dessert. It was delicious. Enough leftovers to get us through most of this week, too.
A 2nd refrigerator is being delivered this Friday - we've been thinking about doing that for awhile and this was the nudge we needed. The fridge and freezer are jammed full and H. needs daily juice and also some protein shakes at the ready as well - along with milk, etc. - so a 2nd fridge will really help. We started to buy a relatively inexpensive one for the garage (no ice maker) and then realized 'why don't we buy a new one for the kitchen and move the 13 year old 'old one' to the garage?'. So that's what we're doing.
And a bonus plus: we did some culling of the garage to make room for the fridge and that's always a good thing.
The cleaning crew is arriving in an hour - uber early for them to be here. I set an alarm to be sure I'd get up and will head out to gas up my car, get dog food, probably an iced tea and then heading to my office to say 'hi' in person. I took this week off at the gentle urging of the HR director and I'm glad I did.....but I miss my friends and want to say 'hi'.
We also helped H. rearrange his room a little - another massive culling of things from his closets. Goodwill, here we come! For his birthday, we bought him a New York skyline poster and it's up on his wall with a black light on it and when the lights are off, it does look really, really cool. We've also given him the OK to have a friend to some 'graffiti-like' art work on a wall - trying to brighten it up for him. There's room now for friends to sit on chairs in his room with him (for the days when he's not feeling like getting out of bed much).
J. and I head to the garden when we need to step away. I love that our yard gives us copious amounts of things to do and the more we do, the more beautiful it looks. Except there was a huge windstorm last night so the pool and spa are a mess at the moment - but the garden is shaping up. We already have some blooms on our cherry tomato plant and the flowers we've planted are taking off. I had to drastically cut back the nasturtiums and know they will be back draping into the spa in short order. Nasturtiums are the easiest flower to grow and so pretty -
Guess that's it for now. Need to get moving on tidying in the study and then get showered before the cleaning ladies arrive.
We had the first visit with the oncologist yesterday and H. is set for chemo next week in the doctor's office. I am so relieved about that. We glanced at the infusion therapy room at the hospital as we were departing last week and I can't imagine a more depressing place to receive cell-killing fluids. Picture a huge room with a ton of people sitting on 'chaise-like' chairs all hooked to IVs. No privacy. No entertainment to pass the time. It looked and felt depressing just passing by. The doctor's infusion room is big but each patient has a little 'cubby'-like space for a little privacy. Each chaise has it's own TV and one family member can sit with the patient as well. The nurses were very nice.
As infusions go (we've recently learned), H.'s is pretty quick. Probably 3 hours total. We are trying to prepare him for the next infusion to likely not be quite as 'easy' as the first. And so on and so on. But he's 20 and as far as he's concerned, it's pretty easy so far.
I'm fine with him sticking with that - and pray he's right and they are all 'pretty easy'.
We've had delicious meals delivered by friends the last week - including the saint of a friend who cooked Easter dinner for us. Ham, fresh green beans, sweet potatoes, rolls and chocolate cream pie for dessert. It was delicious. Enough leftovers to get us through most of this week, too.
A 2nd refrigerator is being delivered this Friday - we've been thinking about doing that for awhile and this was the nudge we needed. The fridge and freezer are jammed full and H. needs daily juice and also some protein shakes at the ready as well - along with milk, etc. - so a 2nd fridge will really help. We started to buy a relatively inexpensive one for the garage (no ice maker) and then realized 'why don't we buy a new one for the kitchen and move the 13 year old 'old one' to the garage?'. So that's what we're doing.
And a bonus plus: we did some culling of the garage to make room for the fridge and that's always a good thing.
The cleaning crew is arriving in an hour - uber early for them to be here. I set an alarm to be sure I'd get up and will head out to gas up my car, get dog food, probably an iced tea and then heading to my office to say 'hi' in person. I took this week off at the gentle urging of the HR director and I'm glad I did.....but I miss my friends and want to say 'hi'.
We also helped H. rearrange his room a little - another massive culling of things from his closets. Goodwill, here we come! For his birthday, we bought him a New York skyline poster and it's up on his wall with a black light on it and when the lights are off, it does look really, really cool. We've also given him the OK to have a friend to some 'graffiti-like' art work on a wall - trying to brighten it up for him. There's room now for friends to sit on chairs in his room with him (for the days when he's not feeling like getting out of bed much).
J. and I head to the garden when we need to step away. I love that our yard gives us copious amounts of things to do and the more we do, the more beautiful it looks. Except there was a huge windstorm last night so the pool and spa are a mess at the moment - but the garden is shaping up. We already have some blooms on our cherry tomato plant and the flowers we've planted are taking off. I had to drastically cut back the nasturtiums and know they will be back draping into the spa in short order. Nasturtiums are the easiest flower to grow and so pretty -
Guess that's it for now. Need to get moving on tidying in the study and then get showered before the cleaning ladies arrive.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Ripping the Bandaid Off
If you are Facebook friends with me or hubby, a lot of this will be a repeat for you. It's time, though, for me to write a lot of it down - 'cuz there's a lot more I want to write down every single day now and if I do that, y'all will be 'huh? What is she talking about'....
The day of my last post, H. visited the doctor to report some odd symptoms he'd been having. Doc ordered a chest X-ray (good old fashioned!) and confirmed that something had moved his windpipe a bit. It was bent slightly. A CT scan was ordered as the next step.
On Wednesday morning, H. texted his dad a picture of his neck - it showed a HUGE bulge on the left side. By the time J. arrived home from his walk (he walked very fast back home as soon as he got the pic), it was still swollen - but 'flat' swollen vs. huge bulge swollen. They made an appointment with the doctor for that afternoon. Not our regular doc who was booked but a doctor available. Thankfully, our regular doc was there and upon realizing H. was in the office, he personally saw him - and after seeing the picture of the swelling from earlier in the day, he sent H. to the ER. "CT scan will be faster there" - since we were still waiting for insurance approval for the scan he'd ordered the day before.
Of course, ER's triage people and here was a pretty healthy 20 year old. No fever. No real 'pain' - other than odd 'tightness' in his neck. We waited three plus hours to be seen. But as soon as the CT scan was done, the wheels came flying off the bus and things moved pretty quickly.
H. has a mass in his chest. The ER doc who came in said 'it is very large'. She repeated it again slowly, looking straight at me (J. wasn't in the room). They wanted to transport H. to a 'higher level of care' and because the mass was very near his airway - the mass is what was causing his windpipe to be moved - they wanted to intubate him. Put a tube down his throat and have a machine breathe for him. And they would transport him via 'CTT' which at the time, had no impact on me. I figured ambulance.
The prep for all this took a long time and while we waited, H. grappled with the huge range of emotions anyone would grapple with upon learning the severity of the situation. We did our best to explain to him what we knew; what we didn't know; and what the plan was.
We left the room for the intubation (I couldn't handle it. No way). Shortly before they started, they said 'the helicopter crew is here'. Holy crap - the CTT crew was MediVac. It was all so surreal. The two nurses were awesome and once the intubation was done, we got to be in the room while they got him ready. Once he was ready, J. and I headed home to grab stuff. I followed the ambulance down Tracy Blvd. towards the airport - and when it came time for me to turn left to head to our house while the ambulance continued down south to the airport, it was the hardest thing I've ever done not to follow.
They airlifted H. to Doctors Hospital in Modesto. When we got there, he was in the ER and they were awaiting a bed in ICU.
Hunter entered ER late evening on Wednesday and by midnight, he was in ICU.
ICU is a very scary place. The only 'good' thing about it is all the rooms are private. And unlike days of old where visits were limited to 10 minutes an hour, we were invited to be with him as much as we wanted. His first nurse - David - came out to get us after they'd gotten H. settled in his room. We spent the first night by his bed - watching him come in and out. The nurses were amazed that he was still fighting through the meds. They told us he didn't stay 'out' on the helicopter or in the ER....and they were now giving him max doses of everything and he was still in and out.
The night passed in a blur. We never left - no sleep at all - and awaited what was next.
I wish I had written things down daily, but I didn't. There were a lot of tests and doctors over the next day or two. On Friday, they did a biopsy. When the radiologist came out (it was a needle biopsy and those are performed by radiologists in a room with a CT machine), he said the mass is 'hard and rubbery'. They got three good samples. He said 'we are thinking lymphoma' and I said 'have you seen lymphoma before in a biopsy?'. 'Yes', he replied. I said 'did this look like lymphoma to you?'. 'Yes, ma'am'. I thanked him for answering my direct question with a direct answer.
We waited. They had told us we couldn't expect the full report from the biopsy until a week later (!). Friends had dropped off lunch for us and J. and I went out to a courtyard while they took H. back to his room. Within 20 minutes, we got a call from our nurse - an oncologist was there to see us. I think J. and I were both so impressed with the speed that they got an oncologist on board - while also being completely terrified at the same time.
The oncologist wanted to start H. on some medication to reduce the swelling in his neck (steroids) and also get him started on some meds to help prepare his body for chemo. While the diagnosis wasn't confirmed, it was pretty clear to everyone that whatever it was, it was likely some type of cancer.
The weekend crept by - but by Saturday, H. was 'awake' off and on. He was managing the vent very well - not fighting anymore - and they removed the restraints they used when he was trying to take the tube out. He was able to write notes and use hand signals.
I can't go on with the story without commenting on the nurses who cared for him. David, Michelle, Aydee, Julie & Chessie were his nurses during his stay and they were stellar. All of them - absolutely stellar. The thing that amazed me is: they didn't just care for H. They cared for all of us. They were constantly checking in with me and J. - did we need anything? Brought us blankets that first night 'cuz we hadn't planned for how cold it was in the room. Offered coffee and water to us. Checked in on all of us - and especially H., of course - regularly. They were so in awe of H. . As the weekend went by, he was able to be awake and up - even with the vent. They had never had a patient conscious while on a vent. Probably never will again.
The hardest part of telling this story today is that there's no way to adequately describe all the moments of watching those amazing nurses 'do their jobs'. Every time we thanked them - and we thanked them a lot - their reply was 'I am just doing my job'. But holy crap - I wish I could describe all the warmth and concern and caring they showed while just 'doing their job'. H. bonded quickly with all of them - and as the weekend crept by, we had some moments of laughter - even in the midst of such chaos. One example was: my friends brought lunch again on Saturday - and when I was asking J. what he'd like to drink, he said 'Diet Coke'. And H. - not missing a beat - gave us the bird with both hands! So funny. We told him 'maybe tomorrow - if you're off the vent, we can get you a Coke tomorrow'. The nurses did their best to keep H. upbeat and positive. They were just stellar. Every single one of them. His night nurse Julie - on his last night in ICU - took a pair of hospital pants and cut them off for custom made basketball shorts.
Along with the amazing nurses, we had a fleet of doctors. Top count was 7, I think - as they brought in an infectious disease specialist (still hoping maybe it was some kind of infection) and others. One of his doctors was his pulmonologist - lung specialist - Dr. Ortiz.
She did a bronchoscopy on H. on Saturday - to see how his airway was from the inside. The concern had been the tumor might collapse and crush his airway. But she wanted to see for herself. She confirmed there was narrowing in his airway - but it was down a lot lower than his upper airway. She consulted with a surgeon, an ENT and the hospitalist and pushed them to allow the vent to be removed. As she said to me in the hallway 'protecting his upper airway isn't needed - because the narrowing is down lower'. This sunk in slowly for me - and I asked her again later 'so what will happen if the tumor keeps growing? It will narrow his airway further...and eventually?'. She thought carefully for a moment and said 'well, there are places that do 'stents' to keep airways open - but it's really more palliative than treatment. There isn't any treatment if the tumor doesn't stop growing'.
They agreed to remove the vent on Sunday morning and H. pretty much did it himself - one huge cough and it was out. He was so happy - and I was so glad to see his sweet slightly smiling mouth.
On Monday, we had a confirmed diagnosis: Hodgkin's lymphoma. H. was moved out of ICU that night and on Tuesday, he had his first chemo in the hospital. They started the meds at 5PM so he did fine during the night.
He came home Wednesday -
I'll have more on how it's going in my next post. We are very glad he's home - in good spirits and doing well...all things considered.
The day of my last post, H. visited the doctor to report some odd symptoms he'd been having. Doc ordered a chest X-ray (good old fashioned!) and confirmed that something had moved his windpipe a bit. It was bent slightly. A CT scan was ordered as the next step.
On Wednesday morning, H. texted his dad a picture of his neck - it showed a HUGE bulge on the left side. By the time J. arrived home from his walk (he walked very fast back home as soon as he got the pic), it was still swollen - but 'flat' swollen vs. huge bulge swollen. They made an appointment with the doctor for that afternoon. Not our regular doc who was booked but a doctor available. Thankfully, our regular doc was there and upon realizing H. was in the office, he personally saw him - and after seeing the picture of the swelling from earlier in the day, he sent H. to the ER. "CT scan will be faster there" - since we were still waiting for insurance approval for the scan he'd ordered the day before.
Of course, ER's triage people and here was a pretty healthy 20 year old. No fever. No real 'pain' - other than odd 'tightness' in his neck. We waited three plus hours to be seen. But as soon as the CT scan was done, the wheels came flying off the bus and things moved pretty quickly.
H. has a mass in his chest. The ER doc who came in said 'it is very large'. She repeated it again slowly, looking straight at me (J. wasn't in the room). They wanted to transport H. to a 'higher level of care' and because the mass was very near his airway - the mass is what was causing his windpipe to be moved - they wanted to intubate him. Put a tube down his throat and have a machine breathe for him. And they would transport him via 'CTT' which at the time, had no impact on me. I figured ambulance.
The prep for all this took a long time and while we waited, H. grappled with the huge range of emotions anyone would grapple with upon learning the severity of the situation. We did our best to explain to him what we knew; what we didn't know; and what the plan was.
We left the room for the intubation (I couldn't handle it. No way). Shortly before they started, they said 'the helicopter crew is here'. Holy crap - the CTT crew was MediVac. It was all so surreal. The two nurses were awesome and once the intubation was done, we got to be in the room while they got him ready. Once he was ready, J. and I headed home to grab stuff. I followed the ambulance down Tracy Blvd. towards the airport - and when it came time for me to turn left to head to our house while the ambulance continued down south to the airport, it was the hardest thing I've ever done not to follow.
They airlifted H. to Doctors Hospital in Modesto. When we got there, he was in the ER and they were awaiting a bed in ICU.
Hunter entered ER late evening on Wednesday and by midnight, he was in ICU.
ICU is a very scary place. The only 'good' thing about it is all the rooms are private. And unlike days of old where visits were limited to 10 minutes an hour, we were invited to be with him as much as we wanted. His first nurse - David - came out to get us after they'd gotten H. settled in his room. We spent the first night by his bed - watching him come in and out. The nurses were amazed that he was still fighting through the meds. They told us he didn't stay 'out' on the helicopter or in the ER....and they were now giving him max doses of everything and he was still in and out.
The night passed in a blur. We never left - no sleep at all - and awaited what was next.
I wish I had written things down daily, but I didn't. There were a lot of tests and doctors over the next day or two. On Friday, they did a biopsy. When the radiologist came out (it was a needle biopsy and those are performed by radiologists in a room with a CT machine), he said the mass is 'hard and rubbery'. They got three good samples. He said 'we are thinking lymphoma' and I said 'have you seen lymphoma before in a biopsy?'. 'Yes', he replied. I said 'did this look like lymphoma to you?'. 'Yes, ma'am'. I thanked him for answering my direct question with a direct answer.
We waited. They had told us we couldn't expect the full report from the biopsy until a week later (!). Friends had dropped off lunch for us and J. and I went out to a courtyard while they took H. back to his room. Within 20 minutes, we got a call from our nurse - an oncologist was there to see us. I think J. and I were both so impressed with the speed that they got an oncologist on board - while also being completely terrified at the same time.
The oncologist wanted to start H. on some medication to reduce the swelling in his neck (steroids) and also get him started on some meds to help prepare his body for chemo. While the diagnosis wasn't confirmed, it was pretty clear to everyone that whatever it was, it was likely some type of cancer.
The weekend crept by - but by Saturday, H. was 'awake' off and on. He was managing the vent very well - not fighting anymore - and they removed the restraints they used when he was trying to take the tube out. He was able to write notes and use hand signals.
I can't go on with the story without commenting on the nurses who cared for him. David, Michelle, Aydee, Julie & Chessie were his nurses during his stay and they were stellar. All of them - absolutely stellar. The thing that amazed me is: they didn't just care for H. They cared for all of us. They were constantly checking in with me and J. - did we need anything? Brought us blankets that first night 'cuz we hadn't planned for how cold it was in the room. Offered coffee and water to us. Checked in on all of us - and especially H., of course - regularly. They were so in awe of H. . As the weekend went by, he was able to be awake and up - even with the vent. They had never had a patient conscious while on a vent. Probably never will again.
The hardest part of telling this story today is that there's no way to adequately describe all the moments of watching those amazing nurses 'do their jobs'. Every time we thanked them - and we thanked them a lot - their reply was 'I am just doing my job'. But holy crap - I wish I could describe all the warmth and concern and caring they showed while just 'doing their job'. H. bonded quickly with all of them - and as the weekend crept by, we had some moments of laughter - even in the midst of such chaos. One example was: my friends brought lunch again on Saturday - and when I was asking J. what he'd like to drink, he said 'Diet Coke'. And H. - not missing a beat - gave us the bird with both hands! So funny. We told him 'maybe tomorrow - if you're off the vent, we can get you a Coke tomorrow'. The nurses did their best to keep H. upbeat and positive. They were just stellar. Every single one of them. His night nurse Julie - on his last night in ICU - took a pair of hospital pants and cut them off for custom made basketball shorts.
Along with the amazing nurses, we had a fleet of doctors. Top count was 7, I think - as they brought in an infectious disease specialist (still hoping maybe it was some kind of infection) and others. One of his doctors was his pulmonologist - lung specialist - Dr. Ortiz.
She did a bronchoscopy on H. on Saturday - to see how his airway was from the inside. The concern had been the tumor might collapse and crush his airway. But she wanted to see for herself. She confirmed there was narrowing in his airway - but it was down a lot lower than his upper airway. She consulted with a surgeon, an ENT and the hospitalist and pushed them to allow the vent to be removed. As she said to me in the hallway 'protecting his upper airway isn't needed - because the narrowing is down lower'. This sunk in slowly for me - and I asked her again later 'so what will happen if the tumor keeps growing? It will narrow his airway further...and eventually?'. She thought carefully for a moment and said 'well, there are places that do 'stents' to keep airways open - but it's really more palliative than treatment. There isn't any treatment if the tumor doesn't stop growing'.
They agreed to remove the vent on Sunday morning and H. pretty much did it himself - one huge cough and it was out. He was so happy - and I was so glad to see his sweet slightly smiling mouth.
On Monday, we had a confirmed diagnosis: Hodgkin's lymphoma. H. was moved out of ICU that night and on Tuesday, he had his first chemo in the hospital. They started the meds at 5PM so he did fine during the night.
He came home Wednesday -
I'll have more on how it's going in my next post. We are very glad he's home - in good spirits and doing well...all things considered.
Monday, April 07, 2014
Vacation Observations - Days 2-10
I can't bring myself to chronicle by day at this point - I've nine days to go and it's all a blur, really. So I'll add a few things I thought of - and might haul the computer next time 'cuz if I could have posted every evening, I would have.
London
I love London. Sure, it's partly the safety of no language barrier - but it's just such a fun place to explore. There were zillions of places we didn't get to but we hit the hot spots. J. did a Rock 'n Roll bus tour one afternoon and I rode the Hop On/Hop Off bus back towards our hotel - fully expecting to get off and shop at Harrod's or something - but it took absolutely forever to get to/from in heavy traffic so I just chilled and enjoyed relaxing on the bus. I enjoyed the rides a lot - appreciated routes that hit the highlights of touristy areas.
Our hotel was in a really nice area and I enjoyed wandering the neighborhood looking for places to eat. There was a really great Italian restaurant around the corner from our hotel and the food was great! We also easily found a laundromat and J. did laundry one night.
We appreciated the hotel's 'American' buffet breakfast every day. The only complaint was the bacon wasn't traditional bacon - it was 'back bacon' - chunky bits vs. slices. Still, we were grateful to start the day with fresh coffee and plenty of food. We were pretty early risers (considering we were on vacation) and did our best to beat the crowd. The hotel hosted not only a lot of airline staff but also a lot of student groups. It was crazy busy every morning as we gathered for breakfast.
My favorite thing was our visit to the National Gallery where we saw two Sunflower paintings side by side by Vincent Van Gogh. One of the paintings is always on exhibit there and the second was on loan from a museum in Amsterdam. I loved this unexpected treat - I love his work - and it was so neat to see them together.
I was sad to leave but the train ride to Paris was really fun - it was everything Bay Area Rapid Transport (BART) isn't. Clean, quiet, fast and felt like we were riding on air. Even under the channel went buy so quickly, I barely noticed. I ventured out of our car into the refreshment car and had no trouble managing opening and closing doors between trains. It was a lovely ride - only about 30 minutes underground - the rest were beautiful views of English and French countrysides.
Paris
Our stay in Paris was lovely - and it is the first place we plan to return. There was so much to see and do and the 2.5 days we had there wasn't nearly enough. It's a little hard to 'rave' about Paris because of all the places we stayed, our Parisian hotel was our least favorite.
I am a hotel snob. I admit it. I don't do Motel 6 or other 'budget' hotels. I don't require The Ritz - oh, I'd love The Ritz but it's not in our budget. I like clean, well-maintained rooms that I feel comfortable in.
The hotel in Paris was 100's of years old. I'm sure in it's prime, it was a lovely place. The entire time we were there, I pictured the scenes in "Gigi" (which completely coincidentally I had watched from beginning to end one Saturday - first time I'd ever watched it all the way through) - the very Parisian 'parlors'.
Our entire room was covered in Toille. Every surface - windows, headboard (which was really gross. There's no way to clean fabric adequately and one hundred years of grime was on that headboard), light covers - were covered in the same fabric.
This wasn't our room - it's from the hotel website - but it is the fabric. I think every room had the same fabric.
Even J. noticed the place smelled like disinfectant - like every effort was made to eradicate the grime but it really wasn't possible. The tops of the drapes and the liners were all covered in thick dust.
It just wasn't great. As we drifted off to sleep the first night, I said 'I want to move to a new hotel tomorrow'. J. - very smartly - said nothing. And in the morning, it was OK. We had a nice breakfast in the hotel's 'parlor'. (Part of our tour included breakfast at every hotel) - so Eugenie had created a small eating area. Not as extensive as the Holiday Inn of London - but great croissants; yogurt; cheese and meat; cereal; hard boiled eggs; fruit; good coffee; juice.
We were out and about more than not so I realized that while this wasn't a great place to stay, I wasn't hanging around in the room long enough to make it matter...so we stayed. It was fine. The staff wasn't overly warm and welcoming - but they were OK.
We went to Versailles for most of a day and it was beautiful. We want to go back when we have more time to just sit and take it in. We did a very quick walk just outside the back of the castle to get a feel for the gardens but you could spend an entire day wandering around them and still never see it all. We really got a feel for the 'excess' of the times - no wonder they were beheaded during the Revolution 'cuz holy cow, they were living in such incredible excess and luxury. Fascinating and I think both J. and I want to read up on the history before our return and then spend an entire day there.
In Paris, we really learned to use public transportation. We didn't have to do that in London much 'cuz our Hop On/Hop Off bus tour line was very extensive. London had five lines - we traveled on three. Paris' HOHO bus had one. It got you to all the big sites and was a great way to get around - but it didn't come anywhere near our hotel. So we learned to ride the buses. I loved Paris buses. The routes are all on the wall of each bus (like BART) so you know where you are and where you're going. They say what the current stop is on a lighted board and then show the next stop as well. It was very easy to navigate and we became pretty good at making our way where we wanted to go.
The traffic circles in Paris were insane. I've never seen anything like them. They are HUGE - six to eight lanes wide - but get this: there are no lane markings. Maybe I loved the buses so much 'cuz they were huge - and you just had to basically get into the circle and make your way - crossing multiple lanes with cars zooming around. The only 'saving grace' was that the cars all go in the same direction - but there are lanes coming into the circle from every direction. It was madness - and I still don't know how the drivers navigate those things. There must be 'laws' about yielding, etc. - but it sure didn't look like anything other than chaos. And we had to cross at least one circle - and often two - to get anywhere we wanted to go.
The highlight of Paris for me was the Van Gogh exhibit we say at the D'Orsay museum. We were so incredibly lucky that this special exhibit opened the day we visited the museum. The exhibit was a story of Van Gogh's life and his madness as told by Atraud - who also spent much time in mental institutions. The premise of the exhibit was that Van Gogh's madness was really impacted by society - by society's failing to embrace his idiosyncrasies and talent. It was fascinating. All of his most well known paintings were there - and after seeing so many amazing works of art that I'd only seen in books up close and in person, I was absolutely floored to turn a corner into another room and see Starry Night. I cried. It was so beautiful. One of the most amazing things about the exhibit was the paintings being so easy to see. Not behind any glass or protection of any kind and we could get close enough to see the texture of the paint on the canvas.
That exhibit and many more were reasons a-plenty I wished we had more time in Paris. OH and we had the absolute greatest meal EVER in Paris - lunch on our last day - and in getting to/from that lunch, we found the quintessential Paris 'district' - cobblestone streets, no cars allowed - with a butcher and a cheese shop; bread shop; bakery. It was wonderful! But it was our very last day.
So we will return there in March, 2015, and celebrate our 25th anniversary by putting a lock on The Lock Bridge. Something we intended to do but ran out of time. And forgot the lock in our luggage. J. offered to buy a lock from a street vendor but we decided 'no, let's wait and we'll do it next year when we come back'.
ROME
When I traveled to Europe at sixteen, Rome was my all time favorite place. I remember being amazed with the mixture of current day life among historical life. We saw that this trip, too - a block of houses and business and suddenly, a huge stone mausoleum from 1000's of years ago. It is an amazing place.
Once again, we used public transportation and felt confident - at least reasonably confident. The Termini was the central bus station so all buses end up there eventually - which provided a fair amount of security in that if you messed up and ended up somewhere you didn't intend to go, you could just stay on the bus and end up at Termini. Which after three days of buses felt safe and familiar. The bus routes weren't marked as well as Paris - no stop signs or placards inside with route info....but we knew to watch for the bus numbers near our hotel and we figured it out pretty well. And we had our trusty HOHO tour as well - though only one route. Things in Rome are pretty spread out but one route got us to most places.
I did end up at the Olympic Village from the 1960 Olympics. The buildings are largely housing now with some libraries and business scattered in. I must have missed stop near our hotel so I kept riding....and then figured 'well, if I end up at Termini, I'll just try again'...but we finally stopped at the stop near our hotel so I made it. I walked a couple blocks in the wrong direction - but figured out where I should have gone. Not too bad....considering no navigation system assistance available.
Our big excursion was to the Vatican museum. Bus got us there and then we had to walk a really, REALLY long way to the museum entrance. We stopped in a little cafe for a bathroom stop (we were warned in our guide books there weren't many bathrooms available) and because I felt guilty, we ordered two Cokes and a palm leaf (pastry). The check was $22 Euros - a ridiculous amount for what we ordered but oh well. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The walk to the museum almost did me in - somewhat uphill and so, so long. We made it.
I'm just going to toss this out there up front: I was very disappointed in the experience. Maybe my expectations were off - they must have been, right? - but it was just so crowded. Room after room of feeling like a sardine. Not my idea of fun at all. I don't like crowds. I don't mind them when there's space but when it's just like a mosh pit of a concert, I don't like it at all. And that's what it was like. Even the Sistine Chapel was impossible - 100's of people in a packed room all looking up - it was hot, crowded, not at all inspiring.
J. wanted to go to St. Peter's and I really was 'done' at that point - so I took the bus back towards our hotel and he headed to St. Peter's which amazingly wasn't crowded and he said I would have loved...so we'll have to do that next time.
The rest of Rome is a blur to me. I saw everything I wanted to see but I didn't get out and hike with J. everywhere. I just wasn't into it - crowds are just not my thing.
We enjoyed our hotel except for slow-ish Internet. It was lovely and in a nice area and our room (though small) was comfortable. Very IKEA like in furnishings. We discovered wonderful restaurants near our hotel - as well as a wonderful sandwich shop which had partnered with a lovely candy/pastry maker - delicious lunches and treats a block away! They had a display in the window for Easter - lots of bunnies and stuff - which really helped riding buses 'cuz I could get my bearings when I saw that window.
We also finally got H. set up to Skype with us in Rome - we had missed seeing him so much and had to cajole and beg and plead with him to set up Skype on his iPad. We Skyped with B. all the time (and most Sundays, we Skype with him) but couldn't get H. to get connected. We wore him down and he missed us.
OVERALL
We definitely will always try to upgrade to the 'more legroom' seats - well worth the price for the comfort they provide and for early boarding. We were shocked and really pleased to be served true 'hot meals' on all our flights - didn't have to purchase snacks at all. Also beverage services including any liquor free of charge. LOVED Delta (where have you been all my life, you great airline??) and loved KLM also. Appreciated all the 'in seat' entertainment that passed the time - watched plenty of movies and TV and managed to get comfy enough to sleep a bit on the way home.
We had a wonderful time - and we reminded ourselves that we are a good team. My husband is patient and kind - and most importantly he lets me, be me. He didn't begrudge me passing on certain things if I wasn't interested and at the same time, I didn't mind that he did his own thing. We are a good travel team - we compliment each other well.
We can't wait to go back and as soon as April is over and the airlines open up March, 2015, we will be making reservations for 10-12 nights in Paris.
London
I love London. Sure, it's partly the safety of no language barrier - but it's just such a fun place to explore. There were zillions of places we didn't get to but we hit the hot spots. J. did a Rock 'n Roll bus tour one afternoon and I rode the Hop On/Hop Off bus back towards our hotel - fully expecting to get off and shop at Harrod's or something - but it took absolutely forever to get to/from in heavy traffic so I just chilled and enjoyed relaxing on the bus. I enjoyed the rides a lot - appreciated routes that hit the highlights of touristy areas.
Our hotel was in a really nice area and I enjoyed wandering the neighborhood looking for places to eat. There was a really great Italian restaurant around the corner from our hotel and the food was great! We also easily found a laundromat and J. did laundry one night.
We appreciated the hotel's 'American' buffet breakfast every day. The only complaint was the bacon wasn't traditional bacon - it was 'back bacon' - chunky bits vs. slices. Still, we were grateful to start the day with fresh coffee and plenty of food. We were pretty early risers (considering we were on vacation) and did our best to beat the crowd. The hotel hosted not only a lot of airline staff but also a lot of student groups. It was crazy busy every morning as we gathered for breakfast.
My favorite thing was our visit to the National Gallery where we saw two Sunflower paintings side by side by Vincent Van Gogh. One of the paintings is always on exhibit there and the second was on loan from a museum in Amsterdam. I loved this unexpected treat - I love his work - and it was so neat to see them together.
I was sad to leave but the train ride to Paris was really fun - it was everything Bay Area Rapid Transport (BART) isn't. Clean, quiet, fast and felt like we were riding on air. Even under the channel went buy so quickly, I barely noticed. I ventured out of our car into the refreshment car and had no trouble managing opening and closing doors between trains. It was a lovely ride - only about 30 minutes underground - the rest were beautiful views of English and French countrysides.
Paris
Our stay in Paris was lovely - and it is the first place we plan to return. There was so much to see and do and the 2.5 days we had there wasn't nearly enough. It's a little hard to 'rave' about Paris because of all the places we stayed, our Parisian hotel was our least favorite.
I am a hotel snob. I admit it. I don't do Motel 6 or other 'budget' hotels. I don't require The Ritz - oh, I'd love The Ritz but it's not in our budget. I like clean, well-maintained rooms that I feel comfortable in.
The hotel in Paris was 100's of years old. I'm sure in it's prime, it was a lovely place. The entire time we were there, I pictured the scenes in "Gigi" (which completely coincidentally I had watched from beginning to end one Saturday - first time I'd ever watched it all the way through) - the very Parisian 'parlors'.
Our entire room was covered in Toille. Every surface - windows, headboard (which was really gross. There's no way to clean fabric adequately and one hundred years of grime was on that headboard), light covers - were covered in the same fabric.
This wasn't our room - it's from the hotel website - but it is the fabric. I think every room had the same fabric.
Even J. noticed the place smelled like disinfectant - like every effort was made to eradicate the grime but it really wasn't possible. The tops of the drapes and the liners were all covered in thick dust.
It just wasn't great. As we drifted off to sleep the first night, I said 'I want to move to a new hotel tomorrow'. J. - very smartly - said nothing. And in the morning, it was OK. We had a nice breakfast in the hotel's 'parlor'. (Part of our tour included breakfast at every hotel) - so Eugenie had created a small eating area. Not as extensive as the Holiday Inn of London - but great croissants; yogurt; cheese and meat; cereal; hard boiled eggs; fruit; good coffee; juice.
We were out and about more than not so I realized that while this wasn't a great place to stay, I wasn't hanging around in the room long enough to make it matter...so we stayed. It was fine. The staff wasn't overly warm and welcoming - but they were OK.
We went to Versailles for most of a day and it was beautiful. We want to go back when we have more time to just sit and take it in. We did a very quick walk just outside the back of the castle to get a feel for the gardens but you could spend an entire day wandering around them and still never see it all. We really got a feel for the 'excess' of the times - no wonder they were beheaded during the Revolution 'cuz holy cow, they were living in such incredible excess and luxury. Fascinating and I think both J. and I want to read up on the history before our return and then spend an entire day there.
In Paris, we really learned to use public transportation. We didn't have to do that in London much 'cuz our Hop On/Hop Off bus tour line was very extensive. London had five lines - we traveled on three. Paris' HOHO bus had one. It got you to all the big sites and was a great way to get around - but it didn't come anywhere near our hotel. So we learned to ride the buses. I loved Paris buses. The routes are all on the wall of each bus (like BART) so you know where you are and where you're going. They say what the current stop is on a lighted board and then show the next stop as well. It was very easy to navigate and we became pretty good at making our way where we wanted to go.
The traffic circles in Paris were insane. I've never seen anything like them. They are HUGE - six to eight lanes wide - but get this: there are no lane markings. Maybe I loved the buses so much 'cuz they were huge - and you just had to basically get into the circle and make your way - crossing multiple lanes with cars zooming around. The only 'saving grace' was that the cars all go in the same direction - but there are lanes coming into the circle from every direction. It was madness - and I still don't know how the drivers navigate those things. There must be 'laws' about yielding, etc. - but it sure didn't look like anything other than chaos. And we had to cross at least one circle - and often two - to get anywhere we wanted to go.
The highlight of Paris for me was the Van Gogh exhibit we say at the D'Orsay museum. We were so incredibly lucky that this special exhibit opened the day we visited the museum. The exhibit was a story of Van Gogh's life and his madness as told by Atraud - who also spent much time in mental institutions. The premise of the exhibit was that Van Gogh's madness was really impacted by society - by society's failing to embrace his idiosyncrasies and talent. It was fascinating. All of his most well known paintings were there - and after seeing so many amazing works of art that I'd only seen in books up close and in person, I was absolutely floored to turn a corner into another room and see Starry Night. I cried. It was so beautiful. One of the most amazing things about the exhibit was the paintings being so easy to see. Not behind any glass or protection of any kind and we could get close enough to see the texture of the paint on the canvas.
That exhibit and many more were reasons a-plenty I wished we had more time in Paris. OH and we had the absolute greatest meal EVER in Paris - lunch on our last day - and in getting to/from that lunch, we found the quintessential Paris 'district' - cobblestone streets, no cars allowed - with a butcher and a cheese shop; bread shop; bakery. It was wonderful! But it was our very last day.
So we will return there in March, 2015, and celebrate our 25th anniversary by putting a lock on The Lock Bridge. Something we intended to do but ran out of time. And forgot the lock in our luggage. J. offered to buy a lock from a street vendor but we decided 'no, let's wait and we'll do it next year when we come back'.
ROME
When I traveled to Europe at sixteen, Rome was my all time favorite place. I remember being amazed with the mixture of current day life among historical life. We saw that this trip, too - a block of houses and business and suddenly, a huge stone mausoleum from 1000's of years ago. It is an amazing place.
Once again, we used public transportation and felt confident - at least reasonably confident. The Termini was the central bus station so all buses end up there eventually - which provided a fair amount of security in that if you messed up and ended up somewhere you didn't intend to go, you could just stay on the bus and end up at Termini. Which after three days of buses felt safe and familiar. The bus routes weren't marked as well as Paris - no stop signs or placards inside with route info....but we knew to watch for the bus numbers near our hotel and we figured it out pretty well. And we had our trusty HOHO tour as well - though only one route. Things in Rome are pretty spread out but one route got us to most places.
I did end up at the Olympic Village from the 1960 Olympics. The buildings are largely housing now with some libraries and business scattered in. I must have missed stop near our hotel so I kept riding....and then figured 'well, if I end up at Termini, I'll just try again'...but we finally stopped at the stop near our hotel so I made it. I walked a couple blocks in the wrong direction - but figured out where I should have gone. Not too bad....considering no navigation system assistance available.
Our big excursion was to the Vatican museum. Bus got us there and then we had to walk a really, REALLY long way to the museum entrance. We stopped in a little cafe for a bathroom stop (we were warned in our guide books there weren't many bathrooms available) and because I felt guilty, we ordered two Cokes and a palm leaf (pastry). The check was $22 Euros - a ridiculous amount for what we ordered but oh well. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The walk to the museum almost did me in - somewhat uphill and so, so long. We made it.
I'm just going to toss this out there up front: I was very disappointed in the experience. Maybe my expectations were off - they must have been, right? - but it was just so crowded. Room after room of feeling like a sardine. Not my idea of fun at all. I don't like crowds. I don't mind them when there's space but when it's just like a mosh pit of a concert, I don't like it at all. And that's what it was like. Even the Sistine Chapel was impossible - 100's of people in a packed room all looking up - it was hot, crowded, not at all inspiring.
J. wanted to go to St. Peter's and I really was 'done' at that point - so I took the bus back towards our hotel and he headed to St. Peter's which amazingly wasn't crowded and he said I would have loved...so we'll have to do that next time.
The rest of Rome is a blur to me. I saw everything I wanted to see but I didn't get out and hike with J. everywhere. I just wasn't into it - crowds are just not my thing.
We enjoyed our hotel except for slow-ish Internet. It was lovely and in a nice area and our room (though small) was comfortable. Very IKEA like in furnishings. We discovered wonderful restaurants near our hotel - as well as a wonderful sandwich shop which had partnered with a lovely candy/pastry maker - delicious lunches and treats a block away! They had a display in the window for Easter - lots of bunnies and stuff - which really helped riding buses 'cuz I could get my bearings when I saw that window.
We also finally got H. set up to Skype with us in Rome - we had missed seeing him so much and had to cajole and beg and plead with him to set up Skype on his iPad. We Skyped with B. all the time (and most Sundays, we Skype with him) but couldn't get H. to get connected. We wore him down and he missed us.
OVERALL
We definitely will always try to upgrade to the 'more legroom' seats - well worth the price for the comfort they provide and for early boarding. We were shocked and really pleased to be served true 'hot meals' on all our flights - didn't have to purchase snacks at all. Also beverage services including any liquor free of charge. LOVED Delta (where have you been all my life, you great airline??) and loved KLM also. Appreciated all the 'in seat' entertainment that passed the time - watched plenty of movies and TV and managed to get comfy enough to sleep a bit on the way home.
We had a wonderful time - and we reminded ourselves that we are a good team. My husband is patient and kind - and most importantly he lets me, be me. He didn't begrudge me passing on certain things if I wasn't interested and at the same time, I didn't mind that he did his own thing. We are a good travel team - we compliment each other well.
We can't wait to go back and as soon as April is over and the airlines open up March, 2015, we will be making reservations for 10-12 nights in Paris.
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