Much Ado About a Ton of Stuff

Here we are approaching the end of April...already?  Really?  A friend at work said 'our motto will be 'Finish Strong!'.'.  I replied 'or die trying!'.  My assistant laugh so hard, she almost had coffee coming out of her nose.

I know this time of year is always nuts and this year is a real doozy.  Where do I start....

First, the home front.

I didn't comment much about a lot of drama we've had at Casa Majah post-cruise.  Our son allowed people to stay here for days at a time - people we didn't know and didn't give permission to have sleep over.  There was evidence everywhere that people lived here - the first significant sign was the missing bag of Chloe's prescription dog food that some dog we don't own ate.  Nothing in the food that would hurt a dog - low carb so low grain - which is why it's super expensive.  We had just purchased a new bag before we left and it was gone when we returned home.  A guy who stayed over and brought his dog?  That was the story.  (I still don't know the full story but hope to figure it out someday).  

There was evidence of red hair dye in my bathroom along with long black hairs with red tips in my hairbrush.  Who uses someones hairbrush?  I wouldn't use my best friend's hairbrush - or maybe I would AFTER I'd asked permission.  

Or at least been introduced to the person.  So angry at H. that I basically didn't speak to him for a week.  Just pretended he wasn't here.  He technically was told to leave and he did.  Spent one night with a friend and the next night in a motel - which overdrew his checking account.  How did he think he'd afford a hotel night after night?  We compromised by me insisting he was no longer living here while allowing him to sleep here.  

Yeah.  That's still the status.  Only somewhere in all the drama, we also got him to finally acknowledge what we've suspected for some time:  he's in a relationship with someone - and she's technically still married.  Separated and their physical relationship apparently didn't start until that point?  But yes, she's married, two kids and older.  The same age difference as J. and I only H. is only 24 which makes her mid 30ish.  This revelation led to us meeting her (finally) and we're pretty deep into the 'getting to know you stage'.

It's going fine.  We had a nice 'family' dinner (out - we went to Strings) on Sunday - easy conversation and it was a nice time.

Then we discovered two of our credit cards were missing (or someone took down the info from them) 'cuz we had three separate credit charges on two different accounts (seldom used accounts we don't even carry the cards for much) a week a part.  Which had us feeling violated all over again.

I'm trying to impress upon H. that it's not that this friend is unwelcome - but in the absence of knowing her and him asking permission to have her be in our home often, sometimes overnight, him allowing people to bunk here (whether we're here or not) is wrong.  This is our home.  Not his.  He sleeps here but this property is not owned by him.  He has no rights in deciding who is here and when.  And him presuming he could make this home a flop house the week we were on our cruise was so incredibly wrong of him.  

I think he's starting to get that.  And I sure hope so 'cuz we just booked another cruise - to the Virgin Islands and Nassau in March, 2018 out of Miami.  And since we're traveling all the way to Florida to catch the ship, we're spending a week at Disneyworld, too!!  I can't wait!  I'm already planning to make a cruise payment monthly so it will be paid off in six months and then start paying on the Disney trip, too - with a little careful budgeting, I can pay for those over time without dipping into 'long term' savings.  I love a challenge so we'll see how successful I'll be at my goal.  I got a decent raise so it should be do-able.

Work is super busy and crazy and sort of madly fun.  We're all at the same exact place - it's the end of the year and we're frantically trying to get everything wrapped up.  I haven't started on anything even remotely 'build next year's budget' related - or rolling positions forward into the next year and all the things that go with getting things set up for yet another year while trying to wrap up the current one. It's a zoo - and it's ALL my circus and my monkeys.  

I'll keep trying to remind myself of the 'madly fun' description over the next eight weeks.  

Ramblings of a Post Vacation Mind

Norwegian Cruise Lines is now popping things into our Facebook feed every 30 seconds (it seems). 7 day cruise to the Greek Isles from Venice!  Let's do it!!  Then another one....and another one.  I dream of the two of us living on a ship for a year and THEN moving to Reno.  Maybe we'll do that!  Time will tell.

The blue jays returned!  They vacated their property in the neighbors trees when they were trimmed (the trees really needed the trim and we are so excited to have a little sun in our yard again). Yesterday, a mama jay popped herself onto the garden table just outside the study window looking for peanuts.  I went out shortly after and obliged her by filling the tray - and then enjoyed multiple mama jays feasting!  I'm so happy they are back - I missed them and feared they headed away forever. They were just vacationing somewhere nearby, I guess.

J. and I spent quite a bit of time outside yesterday working on tidying the yards.  We seem to gravitate towards working out back because it's what we see from our office - but we did some work out front late yesterday 'cuz that's what the neighbors see.  Our gardener had knee surgery apparently so he hasn't been coming - pissed me off since there was no mention of that in his monthly invoice - the front is an overgrown mess and J. is going to mow out there today.  We pulled some dead plants out of the beds and I did a little pruning.

More of that today, I think.  The pool pump is non functional ($272 repair) so J. is also having to net the pool and spa as much as possible.  So far, my monthly raise has gone for repairs of things and/or vet bills for Chloe but hey! that's OK 'cuz we're covering those things with 'regular' money vs. savings so that's a good thing.

There has been a parting of the ways here with H. - he has been asked to leave...and that's working out about as well as you'd expect.  He ended up paying for a hotel room one night when the friend he was staying with couldn't let him stay there. (I ventured to the bank login linked to the kids accounts because one of our credit cards is on that 'link' and only that link (it's in my name) and noticed his checking account was overdrawn - and saw the hotel charge).  I didn't realize this friend doesn't rent his own apartment - he's renting a room - so when H. has been staying there, it's sleeping on the floor of the room the guy rents - not sleeping on the couch of the apartment the guy rents.  Last night, he slept here because he had nowhere else to go.  I'm not sure how this is going to go - obviously.  Not the way we'd hoped. He has another friend who is supposedly getting an apartment 'any day now' and when that happens, H. will have a place to go every day that isn't here...but until that happens, he will migrate.  Living like a nomad with occasional stops in your 'home bed' will have to do for now.  He is well aware that he has burned every conceivable bridge with his parents at the moment - not that we don't love him, 'cuz we do - but that we are done with enabling him to treat us badly over and over. To breach our trust over and over.

H. says 'when her house sells any day, she will get an apartment and I can stay with her'....only I 411'd her address and the home isn't listed - so it's not nearly as 'soon' as H. thinks it's going to be. I can't decide if he's gullible or not bright.  Love....makes things seem rosier than they appear.  

We aren't allowing him access to the car either so he doesn't even have a car to sleep in - homeless takes on new meaning and I'm a bitch but I'm not so much of a bitch that I literally want him to sleep outside somewhere.  (He has a horrific cough and looks like he's sick and I will be mentioning that today as well - that he might want to get to a doctor to get the cough checked out. Though smoking everything imaginable will do that to a person so....there's that to consider as well.)

It's a quagmire of crap at the moment and it's hard to live in all the 'tension' but it is what it is.  I hope he can stay with a friend tonight.  And at the very least, he is organizing his 'stuff' to identify what will go and what will stay when he is able to officially 'no longer live here'.  Those were the words I used when I gave him permission to sleep here last night - yes, you may but you don't live here anymore so you need to attempt other arrangements nightly.  Every single night.  Forever.  This is not your 'home' anymore.

Gulp.  Those were hard words to say but they needed to be said...if for no other reason than it needs to sink in just how egregiously he violated our trust for (what I hope will be) the last time.  (It won't be...we all know that...but a girl's got to dream, right)?

I did find a room to rent for him in Antioch near school and we're going to talk about that today.  He's got just enough money to make that work for enough months to finish school?  So maybe that's the best approach.  We'll see.  I plan to broach the subject today.

I found the most comfortable pair of sandals at JCPenney before the cruise - I think I mentioned that in a pre-cruise post.  I loved them so much that I purchased two more pairs - one in a 'denim' color and the other is a backup for the original pair.  And score!  They were still on sale, and 25% off AND $20 more off for the rewards we received from our big pre-cruise shop!  I'm keeping an eye out for a couple swimsuit coverups and/or some 'long dresses' to wear in the evenings - 'cuz 'Freestyle Cruising' is very casual and yet ladies did 'dress' for evenings and I sort of want to do the same on our next cruise.  Might even decide to get out the sewing machine and make a caftan or two...'cuz I'm short and I'll likely have to alter any store bought items anyway.

Spring is here and I'm itching to wear shorts, tank top and sandals daily - but it's been windy and the wind is bitter cold (still).

I didn't work Friday afternoon 'cuz of the drama here at home - boss was incredibly kind and supportive...but I need to attempt to get to the office for a few hours this afternoon - it's a board prep week looming and there's so much to do...

My 'vacation brain' needs to vacate the premises for now 'cuz my work brain has to be back in high gear from now through June.  It will return in July when I take a couple weeks off to hang around the homestead (B. will be home in July at some point, we think).  But for now, cruising is a mere memory and I've got to get back to my work focus.

The struggle is real.

Truth