Sunday, December 31, 2017

Farewell, 2017

Last day of the month, last day of the year.

What a year it's been.

I think I'm not writing as much these days because things feel complex - and hard to put into words.  And words, once on the page and out there, are not able to be undone.

I could write a book (maybe a couple) about things with H. and R. - but I don't and won't.  It's complex.  We've done as much as we can to help and are in the process of doing more - but no matter what we do, the silence and lack of responsiveness continues to baffle us.  It's rude.  It's inexplicable.  It's baffling and sad and hard.

J.and I trekked to Modesto Toyota on Wednesday and bought me a Rav4 Hybrid AWD!  It's awesome!  Love it - drove it to Jackson on Thursday and it's got a lot of get up and go!!  It's loaded with all the features and drives like a dream.

The plan is to sell the Mariner to R. - but so far, though H. says she plans to - she's done nothing to make it happen.  Her CRV is falling apart - it's in the shop practically every week and she's paying for a rental more often than not to ensure she has a way to get the kids to/from Tracy for school.  Their budget is super tight and they can't keep paying out a ton of money to rent another car. 

It's possible she's making arrangements to sell her china hutch (in our garage) and use that for a good down on the Mariner but so far, we really don't have a lot of info or confirmation.  Just like the Focus (which we finally sold for way less than we paid for it not that long ago - the accident that wasn't quite enough to get it totaled really limited the number of people interested, even though it had been repaired by a certified repair shop), the Mariner will be kept here for another month or so and then?  If it's not purchased by her, we will sell it.  We're not going to hang on to a 3rd car forever.

On a super happy note, H. got a job at a warehouse in Manteca - within walking (or skateboarding or biking) distance of their apartment.  He's working ten hours days and is 'sore' - but it's work he likes and is good at.  He's pulling orders using all kinds of equipment - cherry picker lifts, forklifts, other warehouse equipment.  At the orientation, he was the only one there who knew how to drive every single type of equipment they use and they called him in that weekend to get certified by their company trainer on all the equipment!  He's worked two full days so far and should be back to a 40 hour a week schedule next week.  It's decent money and he's stoked. 

I was supposed to work Th & Fri of this coming week - but thanks to the IRS changing the ACA reporting deadlines, I don't have to!!  I am super, duper excited about being off another full week.  J. has (bless that man) let me sleep in every single day and getting up at 8:30 has been awesome!

J. made a last trip to a hospice thrift shop in Stockton to donate the last of our 2017 stuff.  The recycle bin is full to the brim and the trash can is approaching that point, too - for the 2nd week in a row.  We're tossing and donating and continuing to pare down what we have to only what we need.  It's a long process but we're getting there.

We're counting down to our cruise and Disneyworld trip in March - and have decided to postpone the Panama Canal cruise we have scheduled for October.  It's a pretty expensive trip - too long of a trip to use a cruise coupon discount - and it requires me saving every single hour of vacation for that trip.  No available days off for seven months sounds like prison - and I just can't do it.  I thought I could but it's been really hard to think 'I need a day off' and realize I can't take one or I won't have enough time for both cruises.  Nice problem to have, I know.  But...it will help to postpone that big trip for March, 2019 - so that is our current plan.  We'll also definitely be spending a week in Reno this summer as soon as the annual budget torture is over at work.

Work.  It's work lately.  Work to hold it all together.  Work to go and keep going.  Work to try to figure out options when the state is crippling schools.  New money?  None.  Every spare penny is going to pay the increasing obligations for retirement plans for all staff and I'm irritated about that because it's the state's fault we're in this mess.  Long ago, when the plans were doing really well, the state stopped having district's contribute - and now the obligation is larger than the revenue needed to fund them - so all the 'new' money that's come in post 'The Great Recession' is going towards increases in employee benefits.  It's a mess - and it's hard to be eleven years in a job where it's been one stress-filled thing after another.

It will all work out but I'm even thinking of starting to send applications to jobs in Reno just to see.

I'm hoping 2018 will bring some good changes.  I've had lots of time to contemplate things over the break and the overwhelming theme is confirming over and over how blessed I/we are.  Even with the H. & R. drama, we are still very blessed and quite content.

But I'm ready for 'what's next' in our life.  I'm ready to make a home somewhere else and start fresh as retirees.  Even if one of us (me) will have to work a bit longer.  I'm ready to work.  But I'm ready for a change.

We'll see.

Happy 2018 to all and have a safe and sane New Year celebration!

Saturday, December 02, 2017

Hello, December

I just posted a draft that was from a couple weeks back - proof (such as it is) that I was writing in the month of November - just not necessarily finalizing.  There was a hysterical story to go with the last post about our two new schools but I decided to not post it - it's still a small community and you never know who may actually be reading this blog.  A farmer decided to plow a field and....well...it's created some issues for us on the new school front.  But it will all be sorted eventually.

Thanksgiving was fun and lovely - H. & R. joined us for dinner.  It worked out fine 'cuz my timeline is always a bit off and while we didn't eat quite as early as we'd envisioned, it wasn't horribly off schedule.  It was a nice time.

Last night, I met 'the grandkids' for the first time - we dined together at Sizzler in Manteca and miraculously, we were pretty on time.  The kids are both very sweet - polite and fun.  I have that 'falling in love' feeling which is lovely.  We had good conversation and a pleasant time was had by all.  Great way to end a very busy week.  I'm looking forward to spoiling them rotten for Christmas.

J. spent most of the week moving his brother down to Camarillo.  He drove 'home' early yesterday, stopped here briefly, then went to Oakland to drop off the paratransit van they rented, then stopped in Livermore to pick up our Chloe then home.  I had a jammed calendar this week including some evening meetings that made it problematic to have her 'home alone' - so she went to the puppy spa.  When J. picked her up yesterday, she was entranced with a little kitten that had just arrived.  (The kennel ladies foster orphaned kittens and two new arrivals made for a fun day).  D. (kennel lady) said that Chloe and the kitten had been playing most of the day - and Chloe was still so mesmerized that she didn't notice J. had arrived to bring her home.  Chloe has always been really great with cats.  She knows to sit quietly and patiently - never barks or gets 'crazy' - so cats just hang around her.  I'm sure Snow and Klink were thinking 'we did a great job training that dog'.  They really did.

I'm getting close to forcing myself to head to work for awhile - it's a board prep week and I have a lot of things to do this week along with a lot of meetings.  Trying to put in extra time on weekends to avoid super long days this week.  Only 12 more work days until the winter break and they will fly by.

This morning, as we were sitting in the study having our morning coffee, a red headed small bird flitted about the windows.  Trying to get inside - a move he repeated several times.  J. went outside and watched him do the same thing at the neighbors window - maybe a 'pet' at some point or just a super smart bird who thinks 'it's got to be warmer in there than it is out here'.  Which is true.

B. will arrive home for Christmas in two weeks!!  Super excited about having him home.

Alright - enough procrastination.  I need to get dressed and get moving.  I dread showering.  It's cold.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Hard to Believe

It's almost Thanksgiving and my last post was just home from Europe.  I'd like to say that magical trip is still the first thing I think of when I wake up each morning but no.  I think of work...and that's OK.  Back in the swing of things, full tilt all the time.  My boss is lobbying for 'urgency' - 1/3 of the year has passed and we have so many things to do!  He's not wrong about that but the 'urgency' message resonates in ways I wish he would consider carefully.  There's not a slacker among us so it begs the question 'just how much do you want us to do, Sir?' 'cuz really, we're all working full tilt as it is.  Just to stay 'even'.

We'll figure it out.

For me, we're heading into building TWO NEW SCHOOLS and when I type that, I feel nauseous - 'cuz I'm no longer 'new' and I know exactly what chaos is looming.  Especially for me and my department.  It's a lot to grapple with.  I feel my age a bit with things like memory and project tracking.  When we really are in full construction mode, it will be 'easier' because we will have construction management and architects to assist with the tracking, etc. .  But all the pre-work that goes in to developing a school site and obtaining all the approvals, testings, etc. needed?  That's mostly me and my boss.  It's complex.

Grateful for the job.  Just keep reminding me of that as the weeks progress.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Safely Home

The flight from London to San Franciso was scheduled for 11 hours - but only one runway was open at Heathrow so our departure was 50 minutes later than scheduled.  They made up the time (by going faster) and we arrived at SFO as scheduled and were at the gate at 5:21PM.  The flight passed quickly - I watched 4 movies and slept a couple hours.  Upon arrival, we headed to the Global Entry interview station - already in 'conditionally approved' status, we received notice that instead of going to our scheduled in person interview in January (the earliest dates available), we could finish the process as we went through customs following our next trip.  The system was down when we arrived and the border agents did their best to try to convince us not to wait - 'it might be 2 minutes or hours - we don't know' - but we waited.  The inconvenience of having to take a day of Winter Break to drive to SFO made the wait worth it.  Luckily, the system was back up very quickly and we were done and getting our luggage by 7PM.  Super blessed to have our friend R. pick us up at the airport.  We drove to Livermore to take him home (he was driving my car which he parked at his house when we were gone) and then headed to Tracy.  Late enough in the evening that traffic wasn't too bad.  We were home by 9PM.

We did a couple quick things and headed to bed around 10PM.  I was wide awake at 4AM but forced myself to try to go back to sleep.  Woke up again at 6 and had to call it done - J. was ready to get up then, too.

Kept busy with some unpacking, laundry sorting, making breakfast (eggs, toast and bacon) and enjoying our coffee.  We headed back to Livermore to pick up Chloe at 11.  She was her usual super excited self to see us - and her caregiver filled us in on how she's been doing since B. (caregiver) took her to the vet the first day of our trip - bladder infection.  There was another dog there - a 1 year old schnauzer - who kept going after Chloe and 'biting' her ears.  Poor Chloe.  She wanted us to pick her up and while it was 'playful', that dog was a pain and I'm sure Chloe is glad to NOT be subjected to constant play.  She's zonked out in her bed most of the day, catching up on sleep.  The $500 vet bill was a trip expense we weren't expecting so that's a zinger - but oh well.  She's better and home.

I've got the cold J. had in Europe so I'm not feeling all that great.  I tried to take a nap but I'd finished the (regular) Coke that was in my purse from the airport and also had a Starbucks iced tea so too much caffeine to make sleep likely.  It's just after 7PM and I'm super tired and planning to go to bed early tonight.  Praying it won't be a night of coughing.  [Note:  I rarely drink sugary Coke - but when I'm tired and exhausted and have a long-haul flight ahead of me, it's my 'go to' pick me up.  I'm back to water, my morning coffee and my one iced tea per day starting tomorrow.  Sugary drinks are a 'no' the majority of the time].

Tomorrow we will do the laundry we've sorted and finish unpacking.  I'll be psychologically prepping for returning to work - though I feel ready.  I feel totally fine with it until my 'to do' list flashes through my mind and I think 'it's going to be a very crazy month'.

Looking forward to winter break already - oh, and Thanksgiving break.  Though I'll have to 'work' a couple days of each because our Payroll person is officially on maternity leave now and it's likely I will need to help ensure we get people paid on schedule.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

No to L'Ami Louis

Planning where to go for dinner.  L'Ami Louis was 'the best roasted chicken' on 'I'll Have What Phil's Having' - on PBS.  I've been looking forward to dining at this place since we planned the trip -

Just read a bunch of reviews on Trip Advisor - and decided not to go.  It's one of the 'must do's' for many Americans, apparently - and reviews are all over the place.  The one common surety among all is 'pricey'.  We'd be looking at $400 (euros) for the two of us and sorry, but no.  We can eat closer to our hotel and enjoy a bottle of wine for way less than that.  Heck, we could eat for a few days on that much.  The snack J. procured for us included a ham and cheese croissant, a bag of chips, a diet Coke and a bottle of water and it was only $9 (euros). 

We enjoy great food and good wine very much - but we're more thrifty than not.  Plenty of places here on our street (Rue de Rivoli) and this neighborhood feels like home to us. 

A quiet dinner and then we'll head to bed early.  J. needs some extra sleep and so do I.  Tomorrow will be busy day #1 of 4 in this wonderful city - can't wait!

Trip Update Long Overdue

Plans to post daily haven't worked out - the day is full of visiting and walking and eating and immersing ourselves in all things British...and I am typing this from our hotel room in Paris.  The Eurostar safely delivered us here a few hours ago and Paris feels so much like home.  It's all familiar and wonderful and makes my heart full.  How blessed we are to be able to enjoy trips like this. 

The Eurostar is super fast and incredibly smooth and quiet - it is the reason J. thinks high speed rail needs to come to America.  It is a very civilized way to get from place to place and considering it travels in the mid-200 km. per hour, it's amazing - you hardly notice that you are on a train - it's like you're floating on air vs. any feeling of tracks.  Love it. 

Upon arrival at our hotel in Paris (where we've stayed before), it appeared that I had booked a double bed - that is the room they took us to.  Not that we can't share a bed but that would result in very little sleep, likely for both of us.  A queen for the two of us is not a great idea - I use so many pillows to keep myself comfy, it would be ridiculous.  They said that at that point, our only hope was to wait and see if someone who had booked a twin cancelled.  I showed them that our confirmation said 'Twin Deluxe' - but apparently, the 'bedding' chosen was a double?  Even the picture showed two twins.  We excused ourselves to the salon (the living room next to the check in desk) and I promptly got on my phone, went to the hotel website and found one twin available tonight - 'last room left'.  I walked to the check-in and said 'I'm on your website and you have a twin available' and she said 'yes, madame, we are preparing that room now'.  I think we were in a deluxe room - larger and more expensive?  And the room they had available is a 'standard' room - still comfy and $180 Euros less per night.  And we're fine with that - saved some money and this room is fine.  Beds are close together but they are two beds and that's what we need.

J. has a horrible cold.  He sounds like Johnny Cash and I'm staying the heck away from him and his germs because I don't want to get it.  Flying home as stuffy as he is would not be fun. 

He is trekking out to get our Paris Passes and to hopefully find us a bit of a snack.  We had breakfast at the hotel and breakfast on the train but we're still starving again.  Exercise requires fuel.  He's also hopefully getting himself some Mucinex because though I packed practically every medication known to man, I did not pack that - and as usual, his cold is now in his chest and he needs something to help break up the congestion, big time. 

We aren't sure of our itinerary for our days here - we have to work that out over dinner this evening.  My only request is that tomorrow, no alarm clock.  None.  I want to sleep until I'm ready to wake up on my own - 'cuz we've been setting an alarm most days and I am in need of more sleep.  I have circles under my eyes which I've never seen before and I don't like that one bit.

London was lovely.  Day 1, we really packed in too much - went to Kensington Palace in the morning and the Kew Royal Botanical Gardens in the afternoon.  Sooooo much walking - we were both sore and exhausted.  I was able to see the Diana exhibit at the palace with so many of her outfits and gowns on display - I will post pics here as soon as I have time to get them off my phone and onto the computer. 

The Kew gardens were spectacular - and the Hive (which is an exhibit announced shortly after we were in London in 2014 and something I definitely wanted to see) did not disappoint.  There are lights inside and they respond to the bees in the garden hives - so you get a sense of how they communicate in the hive.  It was really cool and hard to describe and the pics don't do it justice.  Stay tuned for those as well. 

I have managed to do a couple posts on Facebook.  We visited Westminster Abbey and had tea in their restaurant - lovely and fun.  We also visited Buckingham Palace (the queen was home!) and the Royal Mews (stables) - which also houses all the carriages and cars used by the royals.  It was fascinating and really amazing and I was surprised how few people were attending.  Definitely worth the stop.

We got word from Chloe's caregiver that she's sick - went to the vet the first day we were in Europe.  Hopefully a bad bladder/kidney infection - they have her on antibiotics and so far, they are helping.  They did blood work and cultured her urine to be sure they get the right antibiotic.  I'm super glad she's staying where she's staying because if she'd been at our previous kennel, I'm honestly not sure her symptoms would have been noticed as quickly.  The ladies caring for her are both vet techs so they know when a dog isn't up to snuff.  We're keeping in touch and hopefully, she's on the mend.  (And I have no idea how much that vet bill will be but it is what it is).  J. says 'we'll cash in something if we need to so don't fret about it'.  I love that man.

We have four full days here starting tomorrow and we're going to make the most of them.  Musee D'Orsay, Louvre, Mormatten and other stops are on the list along with a bunch of restaurants and patisseries.  We're going to walk as much as we can but we're also going to use cabs if/when needed - oh - and the metro.  We got super good at using the underground in London and can do the same here, too.  Though London is super easy given English vs. French - Paris metro is doable but not quite as 'comfortable'.  But we're not going to wear ourselves out on Day 1 like we did in London - it's taken days to recover from the beating we gave our bodies that day.

I'm going to turn on the TV - we really enjoyed watching BBC in London so hopefully there's some channels in English here.  Just passing time waiting for my love to return from his errands.  He's super. 

Monday, October 16, 2017

Cheerio!

Jet lag plus two children's Benadryl equals the best sleep ever - 10 hours long! 

We arrived in London after our 10 hour flights.  The AirBus 380 is an engineering marvel.  Quietest plane either of us have ever experienced.  Engines spin up but you barely hear them.  The flight passed easily enough and I managed to sleep a few hours which helped.  Plenty of movies and TV available as well along with dinner (late - 8:30ish SFO time) and breakfast.

Our first glitch of the trip was our driver who ended up leaving minutes before we finally got through customs.  Long saga in which I lost my temper and decided to cancel - and dispute through our credit card company because we've pre paid.  We ended up taking a very expensive cab to our hotel but oh well.  Lesson learned.  Always verify with your driver while you are in a super long customs line.  Our flight landed at 1:55PM but we didn't get through immigration and baggage until a bit after 3. 

We had dinner at a place we remembered from our trip here in 2014 and called it an early night.  We're up at 7AM and getting ready to head downstairs to breakfast and then off to our day.  Kensington Palace and Kew Gardens are on the agenda.

The weather is a bit chilly with wind - thanks to Hurricane Ophelia which is near.  J. didn't mention anything about her because he didn't want me to worry.  The pilots skirted around her for the most part - there was a little turbulence as we made our way across Ireland but it was mostly smooth. 

We're off!

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Super Duper Excited

Up early on a Sunday for the best possible reason ever - we're heading out the door this afternoon and winging our way towards London overnight tonight. 

Had a nice visit with H. - he (sort of) spent the night on Friday night though he was out with friends a lot - guess when you're visiting your old neighborhood, spending time with friends is natural - and no reason for him to sit around here with us all night.  He looks really great - he's gained a little weight back.  He's been doing some finish work for an electrician - doing the patching and painting part of the job - and also interviewed at a gas station he can bike or walk to near their apartment.  Sounds like he's making some progress.  We gently reminded him that we're not expecting him to be at the house while we're away - and he said 'only if I need to come get a movie or something'.  I said 'OK, but you need to text us that you are going to the house before you go....and you aren't to have friends here.  Clear?'.  He said he understood. 

I don't want a repeat of last March - let's just not do that nightmare over.  I'm reminded of it every time I see the red hair dye on my bathroom cupboards - which I can't get off. 

R. came to pick him up in a Chrysler 300 which confused me because H. said her car is working fine..but she's still driving a rental.  Guess her car is still in the shop.  Had a super brief chat with her while I handed off some groceries - some milk, cookie mixes from King Arthur, syrup, etc. - things I know they can use and things that won't keep (or I bought for them like the cookie mixes).  We are going to (fingers crossed) try for a dinner the weekend we return from Europe.  I hope we can pull it off 'cuz I want to meet her kids. 

The Focus is safely tucked away in our garage while we're away - the body shop did their usual great job and it looks brand new.  We will put it up for sale as soon as we return from our trip and fingers crossed it sells quickly. 

My friend C. and her son O. came over yesterday to get keys and get the list of things to do - it's going to be pretty easy.  As we were walking to the car, O. said 'your house is really amazing'.  I said 'thanks, O. .  It's home and we love it'. 

We'll be leaving in a bit to take Chloe to her boarding place in Livermore.  Then stopping by Costco to gas up my car and then coming home to finalize packing.  Trying super hard to pack lightly.  I took everything out of my purse, vacuumed out the bottom of it and put back only what I need for the trip.  My usual makeup bag with tons of products in it that I rarely use?  Not taking it.  Only taking makeup compact and eyebrow filling in supplies - and lip moisturizer.  Everything else is not making it's way with me.  My purse weighs less than half what it did - and when we're there?  I've got an across the body travel purse that will hold my wallet, passport, phone and a couple other little things. 

I heard three gun shots around 3AM and J. just confirmed the neighborhood watch news online has lots of folks reporting the same?  Maybe fireworks?  But they were in rapid succession and seemed too repetitive (timing wise) to be fireworks.  Hoping nothing bad happened in a house nearby - they were really close. 

OK - I've got to go bake three chicken breasts which we will have for lunch.  We planned them for a dinner but we've been super bad (and lazy) and have eaten out the past few nights.  Just no inertia to cook.  We'll be glad our Hello Fresh restarts the week we get back -

I will sign off for now and next post will be over the pond.  With pictures, I hope.  I will try.  I promise.


Tuesday, October 03, 2017

Kensington

We're working on our London itinerary so I went to the websites of Kew Gardens and Kensington Palace to be sure what we'd planned would work.  The Kensington Palace website warned that tickets are selling out - there is a Diana Exhibit and it's winding down so the month of October is super booked.  Luckily, our day (October 17th) is 'low availability' but we got tickets.  That's technically spending thirty five pounds that we wouldn't normally need to - we're buying the London Pass and tickets to the palace are included.  But I can't risk that we get there and we can't get in - because Kensington is on my 'must see' list and seeing the Diana exhibit will be the icing on the cake.

AND....drumroll.....I received an email from our Disney credit card offering special rates at select Disneyworld resorts.  Sadly, the one we chose wasn't included.  We/I (it was mostly me, vs. J.) selected the Contemporary resort because it has monorail service.  The only hotels included in the special pricing were only those with bus or boat service to the parks.  Huge increase to walking.

I checked it out, though...and just moved us to the Old Key West resort - which will save us $1,900! SCORE!  That's a HUGE, significant savings in exchange for some walking and will more than cover our meals for that trip - so it was well worth the switch.  Just like that, a 33% savings - and walking more won't hurt us a bit.  We'll be eating delicious food daily so good thing we will walk some of it off.

I'm making lists like crazy and come home nightly and work on checking things off.  I'm moving the shredder in next to my desk so I can start working on the shred bin.  J. went to the bank and obtained some currency for London and Paris - just pocket money since we'll use our foreign transaction free credit card on the trip for most expenses.

And I'm making lists like crazy at work, too - trying to get things staged and ready for folks to work on during the two weeks I'm gone.  I'm sure everyone will have plenty to do - our payroll person starts maternity leave on October 25th so there will be 'extra' work added to other people's plates to help offset for that 'loss'.  And...she's not sure she's coming back - her husband doesn't want her to work.  But I'm hoping (fingers crossed big time) that she will be like I was - love her baby and love being a Mom but also realize that adult conversation is important.  So we'll see.

Haven't heard from H. in over a week - no responses from either him or R. to texts.  He's been in touch with J. occasionally but he is (in typical fashion) not replying to most communications with any urgency.  I don't know what to make of it - I don't understand the dis-courteousness of just plain not replying.  My therapist says that type of behavior is abusive - and that's how it feels. 

It's those feelings - the ones of being ignored and disregarded - and so out of touch - that are the hardest for me to handle...and it's mostly because my instinct is to say 'fine.  Just don't pop back into our lives anytime soon, then, OK?  'cuz I don't like being jerked around'.  That's how it feels.  Constant state of feeling jerked. Only I don't much, most of the time, 'cuz I'm getting to the point where I honestly don't give a crap anymore.

And then I feel my heart breaking a bit.  Worried about H. being in a relationship that is so abnormal.  Worried about us as a family - because it's hard to pretend things are 'ok'...when you're working really hard at not giving a damn.

J. is making our last Hello Fresh meal for the next month.  It's so easy to 'suspend' and reinstate and I'm looking forward to coming home from our Europe trip and picking our meals again.  Easy, quick to prepare, super delicious.  We LOVE the service.

Monday, October 02, 2017

Cake, Anyone?

Whether I've been gone for one night or dozens of nights, the minute I climb into MY bed post nights in another bed, I say 'Hello, bed - I missed you so much'.  My bed is perfect and comfy and my body knows exactly how to get into a good position for sleep - I miss it when I'm away and I feel so happy when I'm back. 

That and I love sleeping.  A lot.

The angel food cakes turned out fine - and my friend (who's celebrating the birthday today) texted this morning that she's going to be out today and tomorrow....so I have tons of strawberries, angel food cake and whip cream that won't be needed for a couple days.

Guess we'll enjoy a nice dessert with dinner tonight.  And I'm going to text H. & R. and see if they want to swing by to pick some up - nice dessert for them, too!

J. and I are in the discussion phase about our 15 night cruise in October, 2018.  Penciling that vacation in has resulted in every minute of paid time off being 'booked' - and Majah with no option to take a day off now and then is not a pretty thing to experience.  Just the 'no option' part of it boggles my mind - 13 months of not a single additional day off.  I am planning to work 2 days of Thanksgiving break and a couple days of Christmas break because I'd need to use vacation to be off for those little bits of time (just the way the holiday schedule works for someone in my job classification with the 'calendar' I have) and I can't do that. 

I am going to re-sketch it out today and see.  Dropping that to even a 10 night cruise would help - and we could then skip any trip in March, 2019, and plan for Panama cruise in October, 2019.  We'll see.

We are blessed with many, many options and that's a lovely thing.

During every jaunt to a casino, there's always a point when I am sitting there playing away, Blue Moon in hand, nice people cheering each other on and giving the machines heck....and I just feel so, so blessed.  This life (my life!) is amazing and I am so blessed to have the ability to have fun with no worry.  I wrap myself up in those feelings and close my eyes and just enjoy that moment. 

Gratitude for the life that affords me this fun time - and for all the other blessings like a home, food, loving husband, kids....all of it.

It's Monday morning but the warm blanket of thanks continues - I'm ready for the day! 

Sunday, October 01, 2017

Biker Event

I headed to Reno early yesterday morning - super excited about a weekend of play.  I've had some good runs recently so I had plenty of funds to work with and was really looking forward to my Blue Moons and slots.

The drive was fine but I noticed right away there were tons (TONS!) of motorcycles on the road.  Turns out there was a biker event this weekend and they were everywhere.  As were their ladies.  Nice people and boy, do they love their leather pants and vests.

I was down 50% of what I brought when I headed up to my room last night - I didn't feel 'bad' about it, really - I'd had a blast playing and had wins and losses throughout the evening and while I was down?  I wasn't out.  And I was disciplined enough to call it a night and head up to my room.  I was 'done'.  Or so I thought.

I had a lot of trouble falling asleep - my room was freezing cold.  I finally realized that though the thermostat was set for a warm and cozy 72 and it was running, it wasn't set to heat.  It was just blowing fresh (cold) air in the room.  Once I fixed that, I finally drifted off and was so thankful for the sensation of warmth.  I feel for people who have nowhere to sleep.  Sleeping cold is so awful.

I woke up at 7AM this morning and got going - headed down to breakfast around 8:30.  Treated myself to the buffet and skipped the champagne.  Didn't eat anywhere near what I paid for the meal but then again, I didn't technically pay a dime - other than the cash tip.  I headed to a bank of machines I played last night and did OK.  Made up about 1/7th of what I'd lost.  Took those winnings and headed to a machine the local I played with a few weeks ago told me about.  I turned the 1/7th into 1/2 what I lost.  Took that amount and stopped by another machine and gained a little more.

I cashed in my ticket at the cashier.  On the way by, I put $ into a favorite machine and did OK.  But was down a bit (on that machine).  On a whim, as a final 'leaving Reno', I took the amount left on the ticket and headed to the high roller room.  Played a dime denomination machine - minimum bet $6.80.  My leftover ticket was about 8 spins or so.  I figured I'd play the spins quickly, call it officially done and head back up to my room to finish packing and get on the road.  Only I hit line wins right away and then a couple bonus rounds and the next thing I knew?  I had $869 on the machine - I'd won $800!  Super happy about that -

I cashed in again at the cashier - the lines at the ticket redemption machines were long - and headed up to my room.  Packed up and took my suitcase downstairs to the valet.  Checked out of the room.
Went back to the high roller room to try some more on that machine - the Grand Jackpot was $88,000  and I couldn't resist.  I put some money back - not one bonus round this time - so I stopped.  Finally.  Stopped by another two machines that I'd played last time - nice lady there.  Asked her how the machines were doing today and she said 'OK.  Not great'.  But within a few minutes of  me sitting down, we both started hitting bonus after bonus.  Turned $40 into $150 and then had to stop.  It was tons of fun and I was super tempted to stay - triple point day today - but I really didn't want to get home super late.

The drive home was fine - tons of bikers on the road again - groups of 20 or so in clusters on the freeway the entire way home - but everyone behaved themselves and the trip was uneventful.  It's a pretty drive - even though I opted for the quick route down Highway 80 vs. the back roads like I did on the last trip home.

On the work front, a co-worker became a grandmother for the 2nd time this morning - and this co-worker is celebrating a birthday tomorrow so I'm baking angel food loaves.  Served with fresh strawberries and whip cream.

It will be a busy week of board prep and my assistant is off a couple days so it will be super busy.

I had dinner last Thursday with my friend J. - we ventured to an Indian food place that J. and his friend R. frequent a lot - it was a wonderful evening with a dear friend.  Delicious food, great company and not too traffic-y to or from.

Two weeks from now, we'll be in the plane waiting to depart SFO for London.  There's a lot to do between now and then -

On the home front, we had the trees trimmed in both front and back yard.  We'd previously had a tree company come out - they charged us $1500 for two trees and didn't actually cut anything back.  They just 'thinned out' the middle - but the trees were still so dense, no sun was getting through.  This new company trimmed 9 trees and charged us $500.  They did a really great job and the trees look so much better.  They are new and growing their business and their price reflects their desire to get referrals - but we will definitely use them again AND because their pricing is reasonable, we can get things trimmed more often which will greatly help the amount of raking and clean up we are constantly doing.  Though there are still (always) plenty of dead leaves to be dealt with.

I haven't seen or heard from H. in over a week and on the drive to/from Reno, I have moments when I just have a huge lump in my throat and feel so sad about everything.  I shared that with J. when I got home and he said 'if we live out of state, you won't see him often'.  And it hit me:  it's not the NOT seeing him that hurts...it's just the uncertainty of it all...that he's with someone who avoids us and has him do the same mostly....that he's with someone who isn't used to having supportive parents in their life and treats us like an inconvenience to be avoided...that there's no opportunity to have conversations with him without caution.  It's the distance that hurts - not the frequency. And it's not a physical, geographical distance - not one bit.  It's just the current situation that makes me feel so deeply sad.

But it is what it is and we will deal.  I drove through a retirement community on the way to Reno and gave some thought to 'what if?'.  We could move further north in California - closer to Reno and far enough away from here that H. won't be able to pop in (and then head straight to his room where he stays - often falling asleep).  The distance would be officially geographical and maybe that would make it not hurt quite as much?

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Two Weeks Dark

B. phoned yesterday to say 'goodbye' for two weeks.  They are 'playing war' and all cell phones are collected and locked in a box for the next two weeks.  Can't risk the enemy using GPS to find out where everyone is.  Or something like that.  He's stoked to get it done because he sincerely hopes they will put them on a bus 'bound for home' (Ft. Campbell, KY) as soon as they are done - he's ready to be 'home' and sleep in a bed.

H. & R. continue to be a constant, steady source of drama and frustration...though we have seen H. more this week - there has apparently been a change in the custody agreement where it's one week on and one week off...so they have the entire week 'free'.  R.'s been spending time with her girlfriend(s) and having some nights out - so H. has been home off and on.  On a good note, they paid us what they owed us and seem to be solvent for the next few months, at least.  AND R. may end up buying the Focus - she needs a more reliable car.  We'll see.  The Focus is currently at the body shop getting the last of H.'s accident damages repaired.  If R. doesn't buy it, we will be selling it as soon as we're home from Europe.

EUROPE!  Only 2 weeks and three days away from London and Paris.  And as usual, I am simultaneously ecstatically excited and overwhelmingly nervous.  So many moving parts to being away for two weeks.  Home.  Work.  Home.  Work.  My mind is zapping back and forth all the time and it's exhausting.

I have been going to Jackson on Sundays - great free play offers every Sunday in September and I took advantage of all of them.  Had a blast and sort of fell back in love with Jackson.  It's such a beautiful drive, only an hour and half that goes by quickly.  Cows, vineyards, fields.  It's lovely.  And I've done really well there on the 'win vs. lose' component as well.  I sat next to a young lady who had never played slots before.  Her aunt (or her Mom - I wasn't sure of their relationship) was on my left and she gave the young lady $100.  But she said 'no, please just give me $20'.  She played to my right and won a bonus round right away - and was up $50 pretty quickly.  She was ecstatic.  And THEN, I looked over and she was sitting there and said 'I'm not sure what I should do'.  And I noticed she had just won the MAJOR progressive - $1300!  I said 'you just won the major!' and pointed to the symbol on the game that showed she won , then pointed up to the amount she won.  She was so super excited!!

I had done really well on the machine I was on so I had no jealousy at all - super happy for her because she was so excited to win 'big' - and she'll play again, I'm sure.  A pure case of beginner's luck.

Work is super busy.  We had our first negotiations meeting of this school year today and it went very well.  It's nice to work with a great group of people and we all work very hard to find middle ground to things that we need to resolve.  It was a long but productive day.

I'm heading to Reno this weekend for another free play lollapalooza and a final 'hurrah' before winter sets in and I can't get there.  Santa might bring me airfare for a trip in January but I honestly have very little vacation time 'available' given we have three trips planned in the next 12 months and I need every single day I have for those trips.  (I have moments when I don't want to commit to the 15 night cruise in October, 2018, because I don't really want to have to save that much vacation - we have to get to/from Florida again for that trip and that means it's 15 nights on the ship PLUS a night in Florida before we embark....so I'm not sure I want to save 16 days vacation.  And we got another cruise coupon to use so maybe we'll do a shorter Alaska cruise and book that longer cruise in October, 2019 instead?).  We'll see.  We've got a lot of time to think it through. 

We're back from our Europe trip the last Friday of October and then it will be November and Thanksgiving before we know it - followed quickly after by Christmas.  Crazy. 

Monday, September 11, 2017

Patriots Day

I don't know when this anniversary became Patriots Day but it did and is, apparently.  Guess I'm behind but it's super appropriate.

I trekked to Reno on Saturday morning - enjoyed a free play lollapalooza - I had a great time at Atlantis on Saturday evening, turning my free play into some winnings.  Spent time with a local and he gave me some pointers on playing Keno - he plays Keno most often and wins 'a lot'.  He was at a slot machine as something 'new' and I watched him turn $300 into $1200 - it was a nice evening.  He works a state job and plays 'a lot' but does well enough on Keno to keep playing.

I didn't come home a big winner and I did come home with less than I took up (so I put my winnings back and then some) but it was a nice weekend.  I took the back roads home to stop in Jackson - since I had free play there as well - and broke my rule of 'take care of yourself'.  I planned to stop to get something to eat in Minden - but Minden was gone in the blink of an eye - I thought I'd make a right into a shopping center where I saw a Starbucks but there was no right.  I would have had to know 1,000 feet BEFORE the Starbucks to turn in THERE because there was no other entrance.  And then I was on a highway with no way to turn around.  2.5 hours later, I was in Jackson - dehydrated and hungry.  With a headache.   The drive was beautiful - passed so many lakes!  It was a nice drive but still - got behind a guy pulling a trailer and he refused to use a turn out.  We were finally able to pass him when there was a passing lane (after many miles of following him, passing turn out after turn out).  The guy in front of me flipped him off as we (finally) passed.

The play went quickly so I bought a pre-made ham sandwich (disappointing as most pre-made sandwiches in a deli case are), a cookie and an iced tea.  Ate the meat and a bit of cheese from the sandwich, every morsel of the cookie and then hit the road.  1.5 hours later, I was home.

The headache didn't abate - and I ended up dragging myself downstairs at 5:45 this morning to report myself out today sick.  Went back to sleep until close to 9.  Feel so-so - still headachy and like a migraine hangover...but I will make it tomorrow - have to, because there's a Board meeting tomorrow and Cabinet all morning.

Enjoying the quiet of a day sitting with my best beloved listening to tunes on his iTunes account.  He just left to pick up R.'s kids at school because her car won't start and she has to pick them up at 1:30 today.  He will drive them home to Manteca and hopefully assist in getting her car started.

It's always something.

I have an appointment in Hayward on Saturday morning and then am trekking to Thunder Valley on Sunday to pick up a(nother) cruise offer.  We can't get enough of the cruise offers and they save us a ton of $ so it's worth the drive.  Then back to Jackson via (new) back roads for more free play there.

Sometimes my hobby feels like a job.  But it's a nice (problem) hobby to have.  The pretty drives, feeling blessed in my life - losing isn't fun, by any means but how blessed am I to be able to just have fun like that?

After this months trips, though, I will be saving up for our cruise in March - won't go to Reno much at all once winter weather hits so it will be easier to save up.

On Wednesday, J. is taking the Mariner to Modesto Ford - wrench light happened again last weekend (I drove the Camry to Reno this weekend) so we're taking it in for a 2nd opinion.  It was 108 that day and super duper hot - and I wasn't exactly going the speed limit - so maybe it just overheated 'on the natural'.  But I worry about driving long distances 'cuz I don't want to have issues on a mountain, curvy road with limited phone reception.

As always on this day, I think about where I was when the incidents of 9/11 started sixteen years ago. Remembering being home with J. (after arriving at work and realizing our country was being attacked - glad they let us go home) and watching the towers fall on the news.  Shortly after I said 'do you think they will fall?'.  And they did.

I will never forget.

Friday, September 01, 2017

A Forever Tragedy

A board member lost his son last weekend.  The funeral was today.  I told my boss that I wasn't planning on going (on Monday when he told me).  But all week, I wrestled back and forth in my head.  Yesterday, I emailed my boss to say 'I'm going back and forth and I think my mind is trying to tell me I should go'.  He wrote back and said 'I'm glad you're going and those tugs are usually right'.

So today, we sat in a church with so many young people saying goodbye to someone they grew up with - and all those young people's parents, many in attendance, sat there thinking 'how does this happen?  What if that were my child?'.  This young man was born the same year as B. and he went to the same high school as both B. & H. .  I felt choked up the minute we walked into the sanctuary.

Shocked doesn't begin to describe the family and friends there today.  There was no indication this young man was having any kind of issues that would lead him to make a choice that would end his life.  Just an instant...a moment....and a decision made that his family and friends will never recover from in many ways, though they'll do their best.

By all accounts, this young man dropped everything to be there for his friends and if he'd reached out that day, he would have surely found support.  But he didn't.  He didn't realize what he was thinking was about to become reality and he didn't think it would get better.  Ever.

We tell our students 'suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem'.  Moments that are devastating happen.  Sometimes everyday.  Sometimes once in a while.  We've all had moments when something felt so horrible, we can't imagine surviving another minute.  But we do.  Things get better. The pain you have on your heart right this second will feel different tomorrow.  Or maybe even in an hour.  Things get clearer after they're hazy -

But so often, a person in pain doesn't think that through and makes a decision to do something....and that is irrevocable.

The pastor talked about the parents hoping that there is a purpose out there for what happened.  My small purpose realization is that I miss having a church home and perhaps the church I attended today is a place to consider.  So one person brought closer to God than they have been in a long time - that's one purpose.  I know this family and I have no doubt they will do greater things from this tragedy. I'm sure of it - because their son is lost and they are stunned and in disbelief and I think they want to encourage people to reach out.

We see it on Facebook all the time these days - someone is always listening.  We just have to get the person in pain to pick up the phone and reach out.  Or send a message.  Or a text.  Or speak face to face.

It's been a long, hard week.   It's super hot here and we're ordering Indian takeout.  We have a Hello Fresh ready to go but it's just too darn hot to cook and it's been the longest damn week in recent memory.  So glad it's a 3-day weekend and I have no set plans.  Not a one.

God Bless the J. family - so sorry for their loss.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Not Exactly as Planned

J. had a ticket to see Tom Petty on Friday evening in downtown Sacramento.  He purchased the ticket in June and I immediately made a reservation at Thunder Valley for us to spend the night up there.  I had to pay for one night's stay and then hope/pray they would allow it to be comped - waiting for the August 'offers' to be cycled - and yes, it was eventually comped.

I left work around 1PM on Friday and we were ready to pull out of the driveway at 2PM - pausing in the car to (finally!) sync my phone to J.'s car so I/we could listen to my tunes as well as his on the way up.  The 1.5 hour drive took 2.5 hours with the usual Friday traffic.  Thank goodness we left early because I can't imagine how bad it would have been if I'd left work at 2 or 3.

We checked in and got to our room - I hears J.'s cell phone ring.  He exited the bathroom and I commented 'we'd better go get dinner before you need to leave' and he replied 'we can get dinner anytime you want'.  Cryptic.  It bugs me when he does this....but he finally said 'the show's been cancelled - I just got a call and a text'.

And it turns out he received an email at 2:01PM notifying him of the cancellation - when we were syncing my phone.  If we'd received the email, I would have still headed up - because cancelling a comped room less than 24 hours in advance results in a full charge of the room - $550 on a Friday night - but we didn't.

It worked out fine - we had a nice dinner and J. enjoyed time with his politics and a 75" flat screen TV while I played a bit.  And him not being at the concert kept me playing 'lightly' - so I didn't lose every dime I had - even though he said 'go do whatever you want', I still felt like I should be back in the room with him.

He had told our kennel lady we planned to pick up Chloe around 3PM on Saturday and she said nothing at that time - and we received a text on Saturday afternoon confirming her pick up time for Saturday was 8AM to 11AM ONLY - thus requiring me to get up pretty much like it was a work day so we could get to Ripon in time.  That was also probably a really good thing because I had little time to play the next morning.  I am irritated at her but we just cancelled a two week stay ($300+ out of her pocket) so she's likely irritated with us, too.  Glad we have a backup in Livermore -

Chloe was picked up, came home and slept for four hours.  She was exhausted!  I actually also took a nap - as I drifted off, I said 'I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes'.  THREE HOURS LATER, I woke up - and was worried I wouldn't sleep at all last night, but I slept great.  I think I needed a catch-up sleep myself!

We're spent a leisurely Sunday watching The Paper Chase and Star Trek: Saving Spock.  I've been doing a little bit of tidying around the desk area.  We are awaiting confirmation from 'the kids' of our plans to remove a bunch of stuff from our garage and get it to their apartment.  We figure with three cars to do the transport, we can make good progress....but as usual, getting any kind of confirmed anything from the two of them is next to impossible.  I'm not holding my breath.

I've made steady progress on year-end and feel in decent shape for the week ahead.  Still a lot to explain - but I've got time and can always put in a day over the Labor Day weekend if needed.

We're praying for all the people affected by the hurricane in Texas.  And for our country who is being managed by a despicable person who has no business being The President.  The divide in our country is appalling and shocking - I feel naive about so many things - witnessing so much hate lately.   I can't imagine that he will be in this role for his full term?  Because really?  How can we allow that to be?

Like a lot of people, I feel sad and disillusioned and powerless.  But I'm also getting more and more pissed off.  And so are a lot of other people.

We deserve better, America.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

First Puppacino

One of my greatest stressors lately - in a life that has plenty at the moment; work, H., etc. - has been that we planned a trip to Europe in October without confirming first with our kennel.  Unluckily, our kennel is closed the last few days of our trip.

If H. were able to drive and lived at home, it would be no big deal.  He'd go get her and bring her home and he'd dog sit for a few days.  We'd even pay him the same daily rate since she is a dog and by definition, not low maintenance.  She's also diabetic and has insulin injections a couple times a day so compensating him seems fair.

Except he doesn't live at home and he can't drive.  He would be at R.'s mercy and lately?  That's about as reliable as...I can't think of a metaphor but she's not reliable.  At all.  Ever.  The fretting and worrying about what we were going to do has been heavy on my mind lately.  H. has sworn he would be able to take care of it - and if I could rely on just factoring in him and him only, I think we could leave with relative confidence.  But he has no way to get to Ripon and back home that's guaranteed and I just can't risk it.  I don't want to create any stress for our kennel owner who is an amazing person and has been so kind to us.  She watched Chloe during H.'s entire hospital stay in 2014 and wouldn't take a dime from us for it.  She said 'from one cancer survivor to another'.  Bless her heart.

On the subject of blessings, I've got a couple super dear friends at work who said they would take care of Chloe - and one of those people is someone who hasn't always been someone I would consider a friend so that's really saying something.  But I really don't like to impose on people and that plan still involved them assisting in getting H. and the dog here - and I picture H. keeping them waiting at the apartment forever.

J. mentioned to his best friend R. (the guy we jokingly refer to as 'J.'s other wife' because they do things together all the time - the two of them are concert junkies and the wives are happy with that arrangement because they like to go to shows a lot and we'd rather not.  It's a win-win) that we had an issue with the timing of our kennel in October and he mentioned that they take their dog Patches to a home in Livermore.  Two vet techs.  They only take small dogs.  In home care - not a licensed kennel.
We took Chloe to Livermore for a meet and greet and she was a happy puppy.  There were three other dachshunds there this weekend and Chloe fit right in.  The couple are two older women and their home is tucked away right behind Livermore high school.  I think it's about an acre - plenty of land and room.  They've got everything double fenced and have chickens, a huge koi pond and foster feral kittens for adoption.  Really nice people and the lady D. said 'I know within the first 30 seconds if it's going to work out or not' and then 'Chloe is going to be very happy here'.  Whew!  I felt like I did the one time I tried to join a sorority - I didn't get in which was probably a blessing - but glad we 'passed' the meet and greet.

Chloe did her usual super whining the whole way there but was pretty calm on the way back - with a big smile on her face. We stopped at the Starbucks coming back in to Tracy and treated her to her first Puppacino - whip cream in a cup.



I think we're going to try to go for a drive more often.  It's late in her life for this but maybe we could get her more used to the car - she seemed super fine once she realized no needles would be involved. No pokes or sticks or anything else.  Just out with her family for an afternoon drive.

We're set for our vacation in October and I'm super relieved.  Haven't told H. yet - haven't seen him today but might later - and I know he might be disappointed but oh well.  I just can't risk it.

H. texted J. at 11:30PM last night asking if he had any money in his checking account or savings. Um...we have no idea because your account is no longer linked to ours....and by the way, you haven't had a savings account in forever.  Something was 'wrong' with R.'s account and they appeared to be 'stuck' somewhere.  J. went back to bed.

Small victories.  Love our son but we're moving past the constant drama.  There will be hard lessons for him to learn but oh well.  It's life.  Time to deal.  Choices and decisions have consequences.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Hello, August!

I can't believe it is August 17th.  Holy crap...where does the time go?  I've had so many planned posts....and the days just whiz by.

August 1st was the 15th anniversary of my career change to education.  I started at Las Positas College on August 1st, 2002 - and haven't looked back since.  I've loved every minute - well, there've been some minutes that weren't so great - but I love working super hard for the benefit of kids vs. a corporate bottom line.

At our annual Welcome Back Breakfast, I received my 10 year service pin from my current district. It should really be my 10.5 year service pin since I started in January, 2007, but the process is to award pins each year at the breakfast.  Ten years.  Long time in any job.  A lifetime in my job.  The days blur together and I'm happy to be there but wow.  It feels like a long time in one job lately.

Drama has become the norm with H. - and we're working hard at trying to step off the constant cycle of feeling compelled to check in with him.  He frequently doesn't respond to us - and while he implies it's related to her controlling nature and having his phone, lately I wonder.  He was here one night this week - repeatedly said he was staying the night - and after I arranged to be off part of an afternoon to spend time with him and called J. to tell him I'd be home early - J. told me 'he's not here.  He left sometime in the night'.

I called H. the next morning from my office - me crying - not a great thing - and told him 'H., that decision - the decision to leave with her after you told me repeatedly you were going to be here the next day and I would see you - that was all you.  She had nothing to do with it.  It was you.  You decided to leave knowing that I was counting on you to be here - looking forward to seeing you the next day'.  He says nothing.  Wait...that's not true.  He was whispering on the phone (so she wouldn't hear) that 'we had a huge fight and I'll talk to you about it when I see you tomorrow - I'll be back tomorrow'.  It's tomorrow - and he's not here.  No contact today.

It's hard to be worried sick about him constantly...from so many perspectives....his emotional well being and his missed appointments which have left him (again) without a counselor.  A psychiatrist who is prescribing medications for him and insisting he go to counseling - and he is precarious about appointments with her, too.  His general health - his weight issues and stomach issues that are constant.  Hard to cope with all those worries while dealing with extremely limited contact with him because he's in a controlling relationship with someone who appears to believe that her control of him is what the relationship is supposed to be.

It's sad that she's alienated his parents 'cuz we might have been more supportive than any of her family - but we'll never know.

I happened to catch an episode of the show "Bull" .  The main character is a psychotherapist who works on jury selection.  The episode was about a relationship between a female teacher and a male student.  Bull ends up meeting up with the couple at a restaurant - very 'wrong' from a legal perspective - but he talks to the teacher.  He points out that she has no 'balcony people' - no people in her life that root for her; are her biggest fans; support her no matter what.  And that she was removing all the balcony people from her boyfriend's life - primarily his parents.  It is the same scenario playing out in our real life - a needy, insecure woman using her relationship with a younger, emotionally fragile young man to shore up her self esteem while she simultaneously shatters his relationships with his family and friends.  The boyfriend is heartbroken and Bull tells the 'boy'/man 'you wouldn't have been enough.  Her husband wasn't enough.  Her job wasn't enough.  There will never be anything that's enough for her'.

Real life moments happening in our family that are very similar.  I can't pretend that I am 'for' this relationship - I'm not.  I don't trust her.  I don't like her.  She's DONE things that have led to those feelings - specific things that she has neither apologized for nor taken any responsibility for - and whatever I've done as a parent that might be considered a fail (and there are plenty, I'm sure), I've never been a mom that can 'pretend' with my kids.  I am up front and honest and real 24/7.  If I'm pissed, you'll know it - and if you are the cause of me being pissed, you'll know that too.  And the easiest way to solve it is to make it right - own what you did, make amends and we'll all move on. She's not doing that - and she appears to be convincing H. that not having any thing to do with us is the best approach.

I am heartbroken one minute and fricking pissed the next.  Back and forth all day - it's exhausting. Absolutely exhausting.

I am afraid for H. a lot of the time - afraid of what his future will be if he stays in this relationship.   He isn't taking care of himself and she isn't making taking care of him a priority - she's got her two kids to worry about and all the logistics of being a 50% custody parent with custody changing every three to four days in two different towns. Her life is complex on it's own and I understand that she's got a lot of things to work through for herself....much less making sure a 24 year old gets to/from where he needs or wants to be.

I wish I could just chalk it up to transportation issues - I wish it was as simple as 'it will get better when he's able to drive again someday' - but I'm not sure that's true.  I don't think it will ever be 'better'.

Moving to Reno seems like a really good plan - and I am keeping my eyes open for possible jobs 'cuz maybe we could move sooner vs. later.

Monday, July 31, 2017

Blooms!

For months, there's been a super tall plant near the hose connection in the backyard.  It's at least 3 feet high and it's grown from a very small start.  We've been debating about it for weeks.  It's a weed. Maybe it's not.

J. was convinced it was a weed - he had me so convinced that last week, I tried to yank it out - but I couldn't budge it.  Added 'soak ground near weed and pull out' to my long list of things I should be doing when I'm on Facebook or other websites avoiding the list of all the things I should do.

Saturday, on one of the many trips outside with our dogirini, he sent me this.


This small space was between the shrub (on the left) and the compost bin - which was on the right until we removed it.  It was specifically selected for that space because it grows tall and narrow!

It's really super pretty and I'm so glad it didn't budge when I tried to yank it out of the ground.


Winter is Coming

Up early this morning and it's approaching 6AM and it's still super dark outside.  Winter is close. Hard enough to get up early on days when the sun is out - watching the sunrise is one of the best parts of an early morning.  But already, it's just dark.  

The sun will arrive shortly - guaranteed.

J. and I enjoyed a sublime, lazy weekend.  We didn't really do much and it was lovely.  We did do a lot of planning for London and he's busily sketching out our daily itinerary and trying to get the most value out of our London pass.  I'm realizing that there's no way to travel all that distance and not plan. Too many things to do and see and putting careful thought into how to structure our days is a part of taking a trip like that.  We're getting excited - a few months away but it will be here before we know it.  Planning for Paris will be in process soon as well. 

H. had planned to come over on Saturday but car troubles cancelled the visit.  He had planned to come over yesterday as well but that also didn't happen.  I fret about it but then I let it go 'cuz it is what it is - and the two of them are pretty much the definition of 'count on nothing and be pleasantly surprised'.  Guess R. is going to start looking for a new car 'cuz hers has had a lot of issues lately.  

We happen to have a car that we're prepping for sale but it's not nearly big enough for 2 adults and 2 teens.  Yep, we're selling the Focus.  We're going to proceed with getting the damage repaired from the last accident and then put her up for sale.  No point in keeping her because when H. can finally drive?  He won't be able to afford anything but liability coverage on whatever he drives.  And that won't be a fairly new, good condition sedan in our name. 

A house in our neighborhood sold for close to $600K - smaller than ours!  That's a very great thing and makes me wish we were ready to list.  I looked at the pics online and marveled at how tidy everything was - not a single thing on any counter in any room.  Holy crap, we are so far from that here.  I am overwhelmed with where to start - and once I've started, it's just so hard to literally toss stuff in the trash.  I have no idea how to begin decluttering 17 years of stuff - and two of the people who's stuff needs culling don't live here anymore.  

I've got time.  It's not happening tomorrow by any stretch of the imagination.  

I'm heading to Reno for one night this coming weekend - a player appreciation event with a free play offer that makes it worth driving up.  It may be the quickest turnaround ever - but it will be fun.  My last jaunt north for awhile as year-end is here and it's time to close the books on another fiscal year.

There's a little light outside and a jay is 'clucking' to her kids....so the day is officially beginning.  

Monday, July 24, 2017

Direction? Totally Unknown -

I sit here pondering the time I had with H. on Saturday - and fret and worry over every part of the conversation.

What if he was just trying to see how I felt?  And trying to gauge 'will they ever accept her'?  And if he thinks we won't, will he decide 'her' over 'them'?  I honestly don't think he would - he stated he's already told her that will never happen - but still.  What if?

I did my best to emphatically confirm that ultimately, we want him to be happy - so if she makes him happy, then it's all good - but when I ask if he is happy and he says 'yes', I'm just not convinced.

I can totally see him hoping I would say 'it's water under the bridge' and 'I've already moved past it all'....but I just can't bring myself to do that.

I don't ever think there will be an easy, friendly, sincere relationship with her given the things that have happened lately - as hard as I might try, I just don't see it.

All this pondering as I enter into a super busy, hard week.  Sites are back this week - another school year is starting.  Geez, the time goes by so quickly - which is a good thing....and I love that about the job most of all.  It's just so overwhelming as another year crashes over the landscape...though I know all the things that will happen in the next few weeks like the back of my hand, it still feels very overwhelming.

I feel so tired.  And I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with sleep.




Sunday, July 23, 2017

Sundays are Posting Days

I had reservations in Reno for last night - a player appreciation event was enticing me to head up for the day yesterday.  But I also had a counseling appointment at 8:30AM in Hayward yesterday and I wasn't really looking forward to a long drive north.  It's fun and I love it - but I also love being home these days - with J. enjoying the quiet of a home with no kids.

I made arrangements to meet H. at the house yesterday because I wanted us to go to the bank and remove my name from his checking account.  Yes, there was a reason for that decision - seeing that R. had written two $300 checks on consecutive days which were deposited and then immediately withdrawn as cash sent my mind reeling into all kinds of unpleasant scenarios.  My thought was the only reason the bank is allowing that to happen - a check deposited with an immediate withdrawal - is because H.'s account is linked to our accounts.  No, he can't see any of our accounts - or access them in any way.  But the 'link' that is created means the bank assumes I would be also responsible for any insufficient funds situation that might occur - and I don't want that to be the case anymore.  H. texted around 11:30 that he wasn't feeling well.  Our backup plan was that I would go to the bank alone to close the account - because both parties have to be there to remove one of the names on an account but either party can close the account on their own.  I gave in and said 'how about I come to you around 4PM and we'll head to the Manteca branch and take care of it and then I'll bring you back 'home'.

I had the foresight to make an appointment online - and that turned out to be a very good thing because there were quite a few people waiting for a banker - and once they knew we had an appointment, we were helped immediately.  Thankfully, I also thought to grab H.'s passport before I left the house - because he has no current driver's license and he and R. haven't taken the time to get to the DMV and get him and identification card of some kind.

We were in and out of the bank in about 10 minutes - and had a little time before our appointment time and also after to spend some time talking.

H. seems to understand that R.'s actions towards us lately have been suspicious and inappropriate. He sees that things she's done and continues to do are showing a pretty extreme  level of 'control' towards him - and he agrees that her actions are inappropriate.  He was pretty direct with me - that he's told her 'if you can't figure out how to make things right with my parents, then we won't have a relationship because they are my parents and I'm not going to not be in contact with them'.  I asked him 'is she suggesting that you shouldn't be in contact?  Because sometimes, that's how it feels - that she's literally holding you hostage; possibly deleting communications so you don't know that we've reached out to you. (She hasn't done that particular action that we know of? but I wouldn't put it past her based on things she has done).  And we sure won't be reaching out to you much at the moment because we're at the point where we're not actually sure who's responding to us - so that's a problem.' He says she's not really suggesting 'no contact'?  But she also doesn't really think that the most recent issue which occurred is any big deal.  I paused carefully and said 'someone who feels the need to control someone else to that degree is a pretty big deal, H. .  Her behavior is not normal by any stretch of any parameters...and I just want to be sure you are aware of that.'  She also doesn't feel that we're supportive of him - and I asked him 'be specific.  In what way does she feel we aren't supporting you'?  He wasn't really able to answer but it appears to be because we are asserting that what she did this week is inexcusable and wrong on more levels than we should ever have to explain to the person who did it.

I told him that we will ALWAYS be supportive of him - however, we won't be supportive of someone in his life who is demonstrating an inability to take responsibility for the actions that have led to us having no interest in dealing with her.

H. said she intends to apologize - but he wants her to do that in person - and (his words) 'she doesn't make being in person a priority'.  A recent example of that:  when she dropped off her kids at her ex's place (very near my office), H. phoned - he was at the Starbucks 1/2 mile from our house - but they didn't stop by.  When we talked yesterday, I told him 'that pretty much broke my heart' and he said 'it broke mine, too'.  He said she had a list of things and places to go and do and she didn't want to stop by.  I said 'seriously, H.?  She had you wait for her at Starbucks instead of taking a few extra minutes for you to say Hi to your parents?  We haven't seen you in a week - and the last time we saw you, you were a wreck about a disagreement with her'.  He agreed.

So it's all a little uncertain and drama filled - but I feel better having talked to H. because he absolutely does seem clear - he acknowledges things are not going great and he also confirmed numerous times that he has absolutely no intention of continuing a relationship with her if she continues to do the things she's done and be how she's been about contact with his parents.  Period. End of story.

Then I flashback to last weekend when he was an absolute wreck at the thought of not being with her.
I reminded him that we'd like all her stuff out of the garage and house by the end of August.  And I said 'and you'll be packing up your stuff, too, right'?  He said 'why?  I don't need to'.  When I asked 'will you still be able to help us in October when we need someone here to be with Chloe for a few days (because the kennel owner is taking a vacation at the same time we are), he said 'absolutely!  I can't wait to be home'.

This is still home.  With her is 'with her' but not living with her.  Though we don't see him for weeks at a time but oh well.

This is still home to him.  And I'm OK with his transient, nomadic existence for now.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Time Whizzes By

B.'s second week home zipped by as quickly as the first.  J. is taking him to the airport as I write this - with a lump in my throat as big as the the state of Kentucky to which he returns.

It was a lovely visit and there's evidence of him all over the place - 12 empty beer bottles in the kitchen recycle bin (he had friends over last night which was lovely - more about them in a minute). An empty shoe box in the entry way from the new shoes he bought at the outlet mall in Livermore. We're on 'watch' status to find a missing baseball cap that will appear somewhere odd at some point in the next few days.

I worked M-T and 1/2 day Wednesday and then headed up to Sacramento area for an education finance workshop - an annual event that I've tried to tie in to a stay at Thunder Valley.  This year, I shook things up a bit by spending one night (before the conference) at Thunder Valley but then headed north after the workshop and spent a couple nights in Reno.  It was fun - though no big wins were had.  Although I stopped at Thunder Valley on the way home - 1/2 way between and a good place to take a break from freeway driving - used my freeplay and won $492 within the first 10 minutes on a machine.  I put some of that back - but I didn't come home from either place broke so that's a 'win' to me.

I went to Bistro Napa nightly for drinks and dinner - and both nights ended up in bed close to 7PM feeling like death.  Cotton candy martinis are delicious - and potent.  On the second night, I sat next to a couple who had relocated to Reno ten years ago from Danville, CA. .  They LOVE living there and say they would never, ever go back.  Reno has tons of things going on all year.  They've made lots of friends, are always busy and out and doing stuff.  I asked about the winters and she said 'well, this past winter was pretty bad - three solid weeks of snow in January - but you just work on indoor projects when you're snowed in'.  I thought 'I could sew; practice guitar and piano; read a gazillion great books and binge watch any series I want'.  Sounds lovely, doesn't it?

The boys were supposed to go shooting at 2PM as a 'B.'s last day' fun thing - but it didn't work out.  R. and H. had a huge blow up - and he was a wreck most of the afternoon.  The three of us (me, J. and B.) headed to the restaurant around 5ish and as we pulled in to the parking lot, we got a text from H. that said 'could you please pick me up'.  We were already in Manteca so we let him know we were on our way - and than sat in the apartment complex parking lot for 20 minutes waiting for him.  He joined us for dinner a teary-eyed mess.

When B. and J. went to the salad bar, I gently inquired 'so what's going on?' and he said 'I think we're breaking up'.  Then he excused himself to the bathroom and to go outside for a bit.

I'd love to reassure him that 'couples get in to arguments.  Conflict happens in any relationship.  The two of you will work through this'.  But I can't.  I just don't have it in me to encourage a relationship with her.  And here's the 'why' of that.

As a mom parenting two boys, I've always looked forward to the day I would gain a daughter or two. I pictured lots of fun things to have a young lady join in on and it was always seen as a 'win' to see my sons love someone and get to know that person and for J. and I to end up loving her, too.  But that's not how this is going.  B.'s friend R. brought his girlfriend S. with him last night and that contrast was just so shocking...S. is so fun and easy to talk to and the little bit of time we all spent chatting outside felt so natural and easy.  THAT is what I want for my boys.  THAT is what is supposed to happen when boys meet a girl they want to be with long-term.  But THAT is NOT what's happening with H. and R. .  I've come to feel that R. is working hard at isolating H. from his friends and family.  Sure, no transportation is a big part of that - he can't get himself to and from on his own, anywhere, at the moment - though maybe we should look into buses between here and Manteca - hold on, I need to write that down so I don't forget to look into that - but even taking the transportation issues out of the equation, there is no 'fun-loving, sweet lady' hanging out here. There's a non-communicative, soon-to-be-divorcee with two kids lurking about.  She does what H. does: shows up when it's convenient, doesn't announce she's here and leaves the same way - slinking out. Who does that?  Someone who was raised with no manners, that's who.  And that someone is with my son.  My emotionally and mentally extremely fragile son.

Maybe she doesn't feel welcome at the moment - because I am starting to question the things that have happened and are happening - but that's (likely) only making it harder on H. .  But I can't stop myself.  I want to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him - tell him that all this drama is NOT normal - yes, conflicts happen in any relationship - but seriously?  All there is lately is conflict.  I do feel she doesn't want him to spend time with us - or communicate with us - and we do need to set some parameters around that at some point if the relationship continues.

Honestly, I seriously just want to change the locks and tell him 'if/when you need to be living somewhere else (because he swears he's not living there but he sure isn't here often lately), give us a call and we'll happily let you stay here'.  It's hard on him?  But easier on us.  OH - and please have R. come get the massive amount of her stuff that is currently residing in our garage....'cuz in 30 days if it's still here, we're taking it all to the hospice thrift shop'.

I won't...but I want to.

I wish she were someone I could be thrilled about being with my son - someone who boosts him up and helps him navigate all the things he's going through lately.  But she's got a lot of her own emotional stuff happening - and she doesn't seem equipped to help someone through the kind of issues H. is experiencing.

So that's where we're at.  OH - and he came home with us from the restaurant - begrudgingly - spinning a story about 'friends are going to meet me in Manteca and they'll bring me home' - but I knew that wasn't going to work.  And sure enough, though he rode home with us - he is not here this morning.  Having returned to Manteca, I guess?  So here goes another long range of days when he never communicates with me and rarely communicates with J. .

We are taking the Mariner back to the dealership tomorrow 'cuz the wrench light (check engine) went on while I was returning from Reno yesterday.  Chloe is also not well so J. will be taking her to the vet.  Turns out winning some 'big(ger) money' a couple weeks ago in Reno is going to be the best thing ever 'cuz we're going to have some serious 'outflow' for car and dog.  (And that's on top of the $1,044 we already spent on the car).

The entire admin team at work is going to a conference this week - but me.  I opted out because it felt like a non-instructional person attending again (I was blessed to attend last year) wasn't right - would rather use those funds to take another teacher vs. the CBO.  So I will be the only 'admin on duty' this week....not a big deal since the sites aren't back yet.

Missing B. and H. and the lump in my throat just sits there.


Sunday, July 09, 2017

Hotter Than Blazes (But Not as Hot as Phoenix)

I always have to add that caveat when I vent about the heat 'cuz a lot of my family lives in Phoenix and seriously?  It's over 110 and often approaching 120 there which makes our days of 100+ seem mild.  (I don't actually have to add that but love how sharing a story of my car warrants others asserting that 'now you know what it's like here.  Um, actually, I know what it's like there because a) I grew up there and b) it's hot here too.  Very similar summers here vs. Phoenix. ) Yesterday was 108 - which I know because I drove home my car that's been in the shop all week - and after $1000+ in repairs, it blew hot air the entire way home.  I'm so pissed at our local Ford dealership and tomorrow morning, they are going to get an earful.  I feel like they had an inexperienced person working on the car - did what the diagnostic machines said to do but doesn't understand the workings of AC?  'cuz it's now worse than when we dropped it off AND it's making a noise it's never made before when you push the recirculate button.

It's turning out to be even more of a a great thing that I had a good run in Reno - the car will dent our savings considerably.  And we're realizing that we need to take Chloe in for some dental work.  They had suggested it awhile back and we put it off - but she's not eating much and especially when it's her crunchy kibble.  We bought a couple cans of her prescription dog food and she will slowly eat that but her kibble stays in her bowl untouched.  Her energy is non-existent and while I thought it was the heat, I'm thinking she's just not feeling great.

R. did the nicest thing - she's been spending the night here with H. who is here to be sure he can spend time with B. .  I saw her walking in the side yard and asked H. 'what is she doing back there?'. He said 'you'll see'.  Around Mother's Day, she had asked J. what my favorite flower was and he replied 'carnations'.  We've been looking everywhere to add some carnation plants to our patio collection and haven't found any - but she did!  She went to the nursery closest to our house (which for some reason is the one place we didn't go) and got 4 beautiful, big carnation plants.  Sweetest thing!!

We had a wonderful surf & turf feast here on Friday evening - steak and lobster and cheese cake for dessert.  I fretted over not having 'sides' but I think there was plenty of food and there were few leftovers.  R. and H. were both here - but still no kids.  I bought way too many lobsters 'cuz I wasn't sure if they would join us - so we have leftover uncooked lobsters.  Tonight, we're going to cook the remaining lobsters (after butterflying them) and make lobster mac 'n cheese.  Yum!

J. and I spent some time outside and I purposefully stayed in the sun a bit to attempt some color.  I ended up having to get in the pool (which was 79 - LOW for me) and then sat in the shade with J. We planted the carnation plants - I know we shouldn't do that in the heat of the day but better then vs. waiting for cooler weather because they need to be out of the pots they are in and in larger planters.

The sun totally zapped me 'cuz now I am fighting a serious urge to sleep...which I think is going to win as I head upstairs to lay down for a bit.  Upon waking, we will need to get the lobsters going and start cooking the mac 'n cheese.

Oh!  and we're also saving the shells to use in making lobster bisque soup!  That will have to wait awhile - I'm going to ask J. to put the shells in the freezer 'cuz I'm not going to make that today.

B. went to San Francisco last night and spent time at the private bar in the Millenium Tower - his friend works there.  You can Google that building - yes, it's sinking - and a variety of very well known, wealthy people live there.  B. met a man who is one of the richest in the country - fascinating to hear about the people who frequent that bar.  Sadly, it's closing and his friend will be jobless - but he is planning to open a restaurant in Livermore - already has investors lined up and everything!

I'm only in the office M-T and 1/2 of Weds - they I head to Sacto overnight for a workshop on Thursday.  After the workshop, I'm officially off for the rest of the week and will be heading to Reno. Can't wait!  Will come home on Saturday and be here Sunday morning to see B. off -

Monday, July 03, 2017

Mother in Law (Not)

H. did come by briefly.  He assisted with the under the stove project - giving the space a final wipe, got into the far back corners that were hard for me to reach and wiped down all the sides.  The space is neat and clean and I kept only pans we use regularly.  Tossed a few things that weren't worth donating and donated some skillets.

I'm always sad and choked up when H. is here.  I told him that I consider him living with his girlfriend now - and then as he left, I remember that I should have also said 'and that's fine.  We just miss seeing you more'.  But I'm so choked up at all the uncertainty - his inability to transport himself anywhere often ends up feeling like he's more a hostage than a boyfriend.  He went up to his room for a bit and then took some stuff we gave them to his car (an old (used once) slushie machine and a huge bag of kettle corn that was a 2/1 deal at Costco) and then J. reminded him he hadn't brought his laundry down.  So he rushed upstairs to get that - as she waited out in the car.  Her kids were in the car - she had picked them up because tomorrow is her birthday and her ex agreed to let her have them for that day.

For me, not meeting her kids is a huge 'sign' to me that she's not serious about a committed relationship with H. .  Yes, I know there's all the nuances and stuff related to a divorce but oh well. She and H. have both indicated that her ex knows about their relationship - so if it's all out in the open, why not introduce them to your boyfriends parents?  When H. is over there and the kids are there, he says he sleeps on the couch.  Guess so.  Guess to maintain appearances....so perhaps that's why we haven't met them.  And he's picked up at the curb and kept on a short leash - from what we observe.

If she were super organized and on top of things and would help him with all the things he needs to do and transport him willingly to all the places he needs to be, it would be a fine thing.  He'd be supported by someone who is there for him and that's a lot of what love is.  But she's not.  And he's not.  One of his doctors called this morning with a cancellation - an appointment available at 7AM on Wednesday - and instead of writing down the info, relaying it to J. and then J. relaying it to H. , I said 'here's H.'s cell phone number - please contact him'.  I resisted the urge to say 'we are stepping off the H. roller coaster, thank you very much'.  But that's how it feels.

On a good note, I don't fret anymore when days go by and I haven't heard from him.  No point in fretting.  He lives with her.  Out of sight, out of mind.

I'd always dreamt that I'd be gaining daughters when my sons met their intended....but I've gained nothing like that.  I'm sure she senses my uncertainty about the relationship - and my concern about H. being involved with someone who's unwinding a marriage with two kids in tow.

It's all very complicated and messy and it hurts my heart - and I hurt for H. because I know he feels conflicted and 'torn'.  He said 'we should all sit down and talk about it'.  And I said 'I have no idea what to talk about - you live with her.  What is there to talk about'.

I don't know what to do.  It's just easier when he's not here vs. when he is.  In and out makes me miss him and feel sad -

Happy 4th

My entire office took today as a vacation day so Business has been officially closed for the four day weekend...however, the chiming of my phone reminds me that in a little more than 36 hours, I will be heading back to the office.  It's been a wonderful break and I've been basically vegging for a few days - the Game of Thrones marathon ensured a few days of little done.

I'm trying to make up for it a bit today - took every pot and pan out from under the stove (cupboard) and cleaned every inch of the space.  Hard to do because it's about 4 feet deep and to reach the back and corners, I've had to be down on my knees...which hurts like the dickens but oh well.

H. says he might be coming over but....nothing he plans is ever certain so I'm not holding my breath. I was hoping for his help in one more good wipe down...and then I can start putting things back.  I've run every pan we're keeping through the dishwasher and have a box ready for donation.  I'm in a cleaning/culling kind of mood and trying to take advantage of that while I have it!

Chloe has been unwell since returning from the puppy spa.  She won't eat her kibble.  I think she may have a tooth bothering her - she just ate two scrambled eggs but even those were consumed gingerly without a lot of gusto.  She's drinking and peeing and pooping so...we'll just keep an eye on her.  J. is going to pick up her Rx food in canned form to give her a couple days of easier eating.

I have a haircut in about 45 minutes not too far from the house - and next to Taco Bell - so it will be a 'no cooking' night for us.  We're sticking to a strict budget these days - determined to put a dent in our trip expenses in advance of dipping into saving at some point - so we're living off the land and writing down everything we spend.  It's amazing how that simple 'step' makes you rethink purchases before you make them.  But Taco Bell is happening 'cuz on 'Majah haircut' days, that's what we do.

I haven't had makeup on for over a week so perhaps I should give it a try.  Good practice for day after tomorrow when I will have to make myself presentable.


Sunday, July 02, 2017

Atlantis, We Love You!

Best few days EVER - and yes, that's partly due to Lady Luck.

We headed up to Reno on Saturday morning and made a stop at Thunder Valley enroute.  Enjoyed a wonderful lunch at the Red Lantern - beautiful restaurant and delicious food - and all comped.  AND I hit a lot of great small jackpots and turned $40 into over $700 - so we headed up to Reno feeling pretty flush and excited.

It's always so much fun to win and even better to walk out the door with the cash in your purse.

The drive up was uneventful and we checked in.  The Richard Marx concert started at 8PM.  Right before the show, I won $1200 on a slot machine - and sort of wanted to keep playing.  But we went to the concert and had an absolutely wonderful time.  We even made it to the 'big screen' tweets before the show -

Richard was acoustic and alone and it was wonderful.  He's very witty and charming and easy on the eyes.  His music was very 'big' in the late 80's and early 90's when we were courting and falling in love so it was a nostalgic, wonderful night with my beloved.  So glad we went - and yes, I did have a tiny pouty moment when I wasn't sure I wanted to stop playing the machine that had just rewarded me nicely - but I'm so glad I got over it and gave in to enjoying the show.  It was a lot of fun!

The next morning, we enjoyed a great buffet breakfast (2 for 1!  And comped!) and then we drove east of Carson City (about 30 minutes from Reno) to drop off J. to play golf.  I headed back to the casino and immediately went to the machine I played the night before.  On the 2nd $100 I put in, this happened:



Super duper excited!  Asked for some in cash and the bulk in a check - which took forever.  Note to self:  don't ask for a check.  It took a long time and in that long time, I put $ back into the machine (also hitting a $361 minor while waiting so that helped).  I texted J. about the win and then had fun playing.

I meandered over to a favorite machine I've played before - and ended up way up - hit 2 line hits of $1,000 each - and left the machine with quite a bit more than I started.  The next day, I played the same machine again and hit another hand pay of $1,800!  Two hand pays in a couple days and lots of other wins that added up - and just like that!  Our impromptu trip to Europe in October is mostly paid for!

We drove back to Carson City and headed east to Dayton to look at homes.  Found some we really liked and the rep mentioned that she had a river front lot that was going to be released in the next week and sent us down to look at it - we loved it!  These homes are priced $200K less than the ones in Reno we looked at last year - and that includes the $90K premium for this particular lot.  We're trying to decide if we could purchase it as a 2nd home - it's actually doable from the financial perspective but practical perspective?  It doesn't make a lot of sense.  Not yet.  And in discussing the location, we both think we'd be happier being closer to a larger city.  Dayton is very small - drive through it and blink and you're past it - and while it appears to be where the next big growth might be south of Reno, we're still not convinced.

At the same time we were talking all this through, we hit a huge financial milestone that we celebrated with a high five!  And now it just seems like though we could make a 2nd home work, it's still probably best to wait.  There will still be plenty of building in 3-5 years when we are closer to being certain we are 'ready' - and the longer we wait, the more this house appreciates in value and the more we save.  Buying a 2nd home is feasible by acknowledging that we would only be saving for 'essentials' - like homeowner insurance and property taxes.  Trips?  Wouldn't happen.  We'd be house poor - and that's something we never want to be.

And....on the subject of trips.  Oops!  We did it again!  Booked a 15 night cruise in October, 2018, through the Panama Canal - saw it pop up on Facebook (we've been watching for them to open up next year) and called and booked it right away!

And to cap off a great week, B. is home!!  Arrived yesterday late afternoon - and promptly headed out to In & Out with a friend for dinner (their tradition).  He left early this morning for a couple days of tent camping with a big group of friends - he will return the morning of the 4th.

H. showed up briefly yesterday to say 'hi' to his brother and then he and R. headed back to her apartment.  I'm trying to adjust to never seeing him and at this point?  He lives with her.  They aren't calling it that because of her divorce situation (I think) but he's never home.  I'm learning to just expect we won't see him - and I think the next step is to stop urging him to do what needs doing and just text him a reminder and leave the two of them to it.  Though she's not any more motivated or timely about things than he is - so this will be interesting.  He hasn't moved any stuff there yet - and in fact, she still has quite a bit of stuff still here - but other than that?  He lives elsewhere.

I have a ton of things I want to get done but HBO has a Game of Thrones marathon on ALL WEEKEND LONG - Seasons 1 through 6 in one convenient 5 day period!  We've been saying we wanted to get back into it so this is the perfect way to do it!!

March

I'm starting to think maybe I will just do a monthly post and call it what it is - whatever month we're in.  Here we are winding dow...