Nutty Banana Bread

It was around this time last year when things with H. started unraveling a bit.  I re-read the blog and read the things I wrote - the things he was talking about and the weird things he would tell me - things that now read as some sort of epic fiction novel.  When things started not making sense - well, that's not an accurate statement - things often didn't make sense but this time last year, things were becoming unfathomable.  The simplest requests could not be carried out.  

When I pull into the Atlantis parking lot, I always remember how so many conversations with H. would happen as I was driving to/from Reno.  All the stories of the latest glitch he was experiencing.  A year later in the post-actually-true-reality, I think a lot of the stories were told to me in hopes I would react with a 'that's it!  We'll get you a plane ticket 'home' and you can come to Nevada'.  I never reacted that way.  When he shared challenges he was experiencing living with a house with young children and complained about the lack of privacy, I suggested he talk to the homeowner to see if she would be OK with him putting a lock on the door.  So he could create some personal space that couldn't be invaded by anyone else.  

Only he wasn't living there and never had a door to put a lock on because we now know he was homeless this time last year.  

Yesterday was his birthday and it felt harder than I thought it would.  It didn't help that J. played golf yesterday - the third day in a row this week he wasn't home.  I'm usually really totally super OK with alone time - but not on the birthday of the son I haven't seen for close to three years; haven't spoken to in close to four months and have absolutely know idea when/if I will ever see or speak to him again.  That's the cold hard reality.  

I went to Atlantis alone for my weekly free play but it wasn't a good, fun day by any sense of the word fun.  I brought dinner home for both of us.  And couldn't wait to head to bed to escape the constant 'noise' in my head about H. .  

We miss him.  

I made banana bread this morning and added a ton of chopped walnuts and told J. 'the only time I don't miss H. is when I make banana bread'.  He gave me a cryptic 'huh!?'  I said 'we never added nuts to any quick breads we made because H. doesn't like nuts!  And we LOVE LOTS of walnuts in banana nut bread so yay!  We made it the way we like it.'  I know it's silly but for a moment, I missed him just a scintilla less than I did the moment before.  

And started missing him all over again as I put the bread in the oven.    

I turn 62 next Saturday!  Woot woot!  I applied for Social Security in April and it will officially start in August!  Another woot woot!!  I am heading to Atlantis next Thursday for a night or two (or three).  J. will join me for dinner on Thursday and brunch on Saturday morning and I will decide how many nights to actually stay in the hotel based on the luck I have on the slots.  I'm sort of looking at it as a last hurrah for this six month point reporting period - low and slow for the rest of June - and then back to normal in July.  Though we do have quite a few 'events' in June that will get us to the casino on a couple of Saturdays....but most months have that.  

B. is heading to Ft. Dix, New Jersey in a week or so.  J. told me that B.'s official report date is June 10th but his soon-to-be boss sent him a message that they don't have him on the official 'duty roster' until July 1st - to give him some time to get settled in his apartment, familiar with the area and a little down time post-move.  B. is juggling a gazillion things - in addition to moving to a new state, he's also trying hard to get his private pilot license before he moves.  He hopes to have his official check flight on my birthday next Saturday - and getting all the flying stuff done before he heads further east is important because he doesn't want to have to start over with a new flight school.  Yes, most of his lessons are done but if he doesn't complete his license requirements before he moves, it is very likely he will incur additional expenses to finish up with a new flight school in another state.  So fingers crossed.  He's got a lot of moving parts right now.  

Great News

I arrived at the doctor's 15 minutes ahead of my appointment time ready to check in.  No one at the front desk and I noticed a sign saying they were in a quick meeting.  I was the first patient of the day.  

The nurse did an A1C test right there in the office.  When the doctor came in, I told her I was worried about what the result would be.  The nurse came in and said '6.[something]'.  I heard 6.9 and so did the doctor - and she said 'that's the same as last year so that's not bad - staying level is OK'.  She said 'let me check again' and leaned her head out the door and said 'did you say 6.1 or 6.9?'.  '6.5'!  Woot woot.  

So down .4 on my blood sugar and I've lost 10 pounds since last year.  Also a woot woot!  I've noticed the weight change a bit. Clothes fit a lot more loosely and I bought new pants recently because the jeans I wear all the time started feeling like they were falling off.  

I've got some blood work to do next week and a mammogram to get on the schedule in mid-June.  

Yesterday, the cleaning ladies boss texted they would arrive around 12:45PM today - they showed up at 11AM.  Not really an issue - we're home and the house is pretty tidy most of the time.  But we did have to rush a bit to get the fresh linens out for the beds that needed changing  and a little picking up in the kitchen.  They were done by 12:30.  We spent some time outside working on tending the rocks while they finished the floors.  

I told J. that I feel more apprehensive about my time at the casino this weekend vs. excited.  If I had to guess, I think I'll be there tomorrow night and maybe Friday but head home after the drawing Saturday night.  It's just too many nights away.  I'm afraid I'll lose too much - that's a lot of time to fill at a casino and when you're at a casino, you know what you do....you play.  

UPDATE:  today is one week from the origination of the above draft and the weekend was expensive, as expected.  A part of me wishes I had headed home on Saturday and just skipped the drawing that night 'cuz my 'big win' was $300 in Macy's gift cards - very not epic.  Being there was as I expected - you play and play and then the 'invitation only not publicized to anyone super elite high level player' drawing results in nothing special.  I have a ton of things I could say about it but I'll stop.  I will never attend another one - ever.  I did have a lot of fun playing and made some new friends so that was fun!  

Today is H.'s 29th birthday.  I sent a text to the last number we had contact from him on and heard nothing back - which I wasn't surprised about because I had zero expectations that I would hear back from him.  Still, my heart is heavy a bit - and bless his heart B. called!  We had a nice chat.  He asked if I'd heard from H. and I said 'no, not expecting to'.   Which is true.  Not expecting to.  But hope maybe.  

But not likely.  

J. is playing golf again today and I'm heading to Atlantis solo for weekly free play.  I have a weekend stay planned for my birthday weekend and while I should cancel it (based on the previous three night weekend's losses), I am really looking forward to time there so...for now, I'm going.  Three nights reserved and while I may stay three nights, I don't have to.  We'll see how it goes.  

We have no plans for Memorial Day weekend - just chillaxing at home.  The cats are really good at that.  

I know.  They are not 'allowed' on the table.  Really, they're not.  But...there they are, hanging out like they own the place.  LOL.

Pre-Cleaning for a Cleaning

It's Tuesday and the cleaning ladies come tomorrow so I will be spending a good chunk of the day pre-cleaning for their arrival.  

I scheduled a doctor appointment for mid-June but they just called and have openings in the morning tomorrow so yay!  It's time for my annual check up and all the things that go with it - mammogram, blood work, etc. .  I'm also hoping she will agree that three plus months with this crazy super sore spot on my throat is long enough - it may be related to the ton of gunk in my sinuses but I've had enough.  I'm doing the things the ENT doctor suggested and the gunky part is improving - but that sore spot isn't healing on it's own well so I'm hoping an antibiotic will help.  

I'm nervous about the appointment because I know I'm not doing the things I should be doing to take better care of myself.  I need to work on that big time.  

I head to Reno on Thursday for a three night stay - which may only be a one or two night stay depending.  Oddly, I'm not really looking forward to the stay.  Three nights is a long time.  So we'll see.  I'm definitely going on Thursday for the night and then I'll just see how it goes.  I'm thinking of packing my bathing suit and pool coverup 'cuz spending some time in the sun sounds lovely.  Mother's Day (9 days ago) we had snow and now, it's in the high 70's to low 80's and warming up pretty quickly.  I ran the AC on my bedroom side of the house last night because it was too stuffy to sleep well.  Looks like it's time to remove some more winter bedding from the bed and pack it away until next Winter. 

J. is playing golf again today - after all of last week's golf was cancelled, he's happy to be out on the course again.  He played yesterday here at Silver Oak for the Atlantis Tournament and I took drinks out to his foursome when they were on the 12th hole.  It's always so nice to meet really nice people and when they thank me for bringing them cold drinks, I always say 'my pleasure!  It's the best part of living on a golf course!'.  

I made no-bake Special K cookies for a treat.  Dinner is going to be Chicken Pasta Salad - using up the leftover roasted chicken we have from Costco.  

The cats are getting moist food now so I feel like they are stalking me a lot.  Muf especially follows my every move begging for more.  They do have some dry food in the bowl and are definitely not starving but they sure seem not to know it.  I've started doing one food serving split between the two of them because otherwise, Nala doesn't finish and Muf eats her portion plus Nala's leftovers.  Yesterday that approach didn't work too well when they both demanded (crying, weaving in and out of my legs) more food as I cooked dinner.  So I gave them the second portion split between them as a second feeding.  This is getting complicated. 

I'm binge watching Heartland on Netflix - it's 14 seasons of complete and total schmaltz but it's a good distraction as I piddle the day away. 

So Many Jackpots

My cousin S. mentioned in a message how much she enjoys my casino win posts.  I'm always hesitant to post specifics....recognizing that gambling is something many people strongly disapprove of.  I have moments during play when I think 'why am I doing this'?  And then I'll hit a win and think 'that's why'.  It's fun.  And I'm blessed to be able to play and blessed to be able to fund the play adequately without putting any needed money at risk.  I type that and really want to emphasize it because I've seen and witnessed plenty of people who are playing who maybe shouldn't be.  Like the lady at the small local casino I overheard saying she had just written two checks to the casino for cash and she hoped she'd be able to cover them before they cleared the bank.  Um....not good.  That same lady was also talking about how she'd spent the previous day planning how to end her life.  I was shocked.  Another player (her friend) went over to her and talked to her quietly and said 'I think you need to take a break'.  She didn't.  A bank of 8 machines and we're all listening to someone who is making slot play their life.  She started winning a bit - and was immediately better.  

I've had some incredible luck since the Grand jackpot post back in April.  A total of 17 hand pays since that jackpot - truly an epic run.  I might put together a collage of some of the bigger wins - because I remind myself that this blog is pretty much like my diary and I love revisiting wins.  In March, I changed my approach to playing and so far, I'd say the new approach is working.  A much larger 'stake' to start with which allows for some larger bets - and BOOM!  Things have been happening.  So many things.  It's been wonderful and awesome and I'm grateful beyond words. Keep in mind that most of those wins definitely went back into play - but that's OK.  What's not to love about playing with the casino's money? 

About a week ago, our Atlantis casino host M. called to invite us to a 'very special limited event for high level players'.  Basically a drawing - not advertised to anyone else and only open to 120 players the casino chose.  Sounds epic, right?  Well, sort of.  3 night stay (Th-Fr-Sat) and then Saturday evening, they will host a dinner and drawing.  Your entries for the drawing will be determined based on the tier points you earn during your three day stay.  The 'grand prize' is a trip to New Orleans - everything included.  Plus other prizes like free play, wine, etc. - sounds fun.  But yesterday, they sent out an email that winners could only win one of the 'other prizes' - and everyone has a chance at the Grand prize.  SO....you play your heart out for three days but no matter how many entries you get, you can only win one prize other than the Grand.  Like every single 'drawing' event at a casino, it's designed to get you playing and keep you playing - and possibly losing a ton - just to ramp up the entries. 

We are 'in' on attending - at least so far - but I told our host that I was on the fence about participating given the new parameters - what's the point of making this exclusive event depend on earned tier points but limiting how many things you can win in a drawing where your entries are based on how much you've played.  Seriously.  But the entire invite has allowed for some conversations with our host that needed to be had.  

See, a couple years ago - right when we were officially living here and playing a lot - they changed their player tier levels.  The Black Diamond level that required 30,000 tier points every six months was discontinued.  It became 'invitation only' - and even though we made that tier level's required points easily and repeatedly, we were never invited.  Our host seemed to discourage it - 'you won't like it when you end up getting bumped back if you don't meet the requirement'.  'Um, we have met the requirement and continue to meet the requirement - so you are basically dis-incenting us to continue playing here.  We should hit the amount we need for our current level (15,000 tier points every six months) and do a full stop on playing at Atlantis - ramp up points somewhere else'.  No change. We didn't really feel terribly disappointed about it 'cuz we honestly have no idea what the tier level differences were - but there are coveted Black Diamond parking spaces and we'd sure love those - especially as we've gotten older and our joints malfunction quite a bit.  

So...when our host stopped by to say Hi a few days ago, I brought up the tier level question again.  I told her 'No offense, M. but it's almost insulting to be invited to this 'super limited high level player event' and yet still not be invited for Black Diamond status.  So your Black Diamond players know that you're inviting non-Black Diamond players to this super exclusive event?  I had a Black Diamond player I know say 'so you must be Black Diamond level now, right?  I've watched you play lately and it's criminal if you aren't Black Diamond'.  She asked for the person's name and I gave it because this person is someone I see all the time and we do know each other.  M. said 'OK.  I'm going to go take care of it right away'.  I said 'but we'll have to wait until July 1 for the level to change, right?' and she said 'no, it will be immediate'.  

I told her my theory about the change to 'invitation only' was that by doing that, the casino management has the right to allow anyone into that tier level - and also to eliminate the point requirement means that players who aren't necessarily hitting that tier level to continue to stay at that level.  Management discretion means just that.  Makes sense, right?  Because if there's a Black Diamond player who hasn't maintained the tier level for a long time but owes the casino money, you can bet they aren't going to kick those players out of the tier level.  And now they don't have to - no published point requirement means complete and total 'it's up to management'.  I told M. I suspected we would likely never be kicked out - and my friend B. confirmed that when I she and I were talking.  She said 'from what we know, it's virtually impossible for the casino to take back that perk once it's granted'.  So yay!  

I logged on to the website when we got home a bit later and there it was - just like that - Black Diamond.  

FINALLY.  

When my friend B. stopped by the machine on Thursday, I stopped my play, pulled out my player's card and said 'THANK YOU!  FINALLY'.  She was super happy - she is such a sweet person.  I told her I had to 'drop your name' when asked who had said that and while I wasn't sure, it sure seemed like our host did a 360 degree about face and made it happen. 

So now, we get increased earned free play, a buffet or $20 meal credit (each) every single day we show up there, parking spaces and a bunch of other 'still to be determined' perks.  It's really wonderful and honestly, we could eat there daily and cut our grocery bill down to breakfast, lunch and snacks and be totally fine.  We mostly get take out and since our player level bump, we go to the deli and get sliced meats and cheeses for sandwiches.  

Our casino play creates all sorts of fun events.  We attended a Reno Wind Symphony concert a couple weeks ago - and the fun paint night I mentioned in April.  The annual chalk art festival is returning in July along with the Reno Air Races.  We receive VIP invites, transportation to/from a variety of events that are truly epic.  Tomorrow is the first Atlantis Open Tournament game here at our home golf course - free golf and transportation (if needed) to/from some really nice courses in Northern Nevada.  All sorts of perks that cost us nothing - well, cost us play but that's happening anyway so why not enjoy the events!

I had a losing day yesterday which was hard because I had two days in a row of three hand pays a day at Atlantis earlier this week - ending up $7,000 for the week  - and I had to remind myself that even with yesterday's epic losses, I'm still up.  So yay.  Losing days are never easy and they certainly have many moments where it doesn't feel fun.  But every play day is a chance to have a win - and when the wins are as epic as they have been lately, it's great.  I make it a point when I'm winning to bless people around me.  On Wednesday, J. was playing Blackjack with a family who brought their 21 year old daughter to the casino on her 21st birthday - so when J. came by for a check-in, I gave him $100 to give to her.  She and her family came by to thank me and she was so grateful for the gift.  We laughed and kibitzed and I said 'now go have a celebratory meal and drink with your family and then walk straight out the door'.  On Thursday, I gave a player sitting near me $100 - she was my 'player of the day' and she was so happy with the extra, unexpected money to play!  And then I tipped my waitress $100 and she was over the moon happy.  I like to spread the luck around and am truly blessed and grateful.  

So in an upcoming post, I will try to put together some of the epic wins I've had - my phone is full of pictures and I really need to start deleting some of the really old ones.  

Thank you, dear readers, for being a part of my life - and for putting up with casino post after casino post.  In retirement, life is very different and sharing what we do to keep busy will always include casino stuff.  It's mostly what we do for entertainment - and hopefully always will. 

The Trip is Theirs