The Whiteness is Blinding

Snow.  More snow.  Still snowing.  Will it ever stop snowing?  These are things we've pondered.  

I-80 is closed so our neighbors (who spent Christmas in El Dorado Hills at her Mom's house) can't get home.  Dinner tonight is very likely not happening.  We are sad about that 'cuz we were really looking forward to it.  But totally understand.  

There was a 20 car accident yesterday on Hwy 580 (between us and Reno) and that highway is either shut down completely or chains required.  

When you look outside, the brightness is so intense, you can't look at it very long.  I understand now where snow blindness comes from.  

B. and I had 'words' this morning so we've both retreated to our separate corners.  We will work it out.  We always do.  It's hard visiting your parents for a week.  And it's hard for parents having adult children visiting.  Make no mistake - we love having him here.  Truly love it.  But I remember what it felt like to be 'home' only it wasn't.  And days and days of snow make doing much of anything outside our house pretty impossible.  Meals out?  Not happening.  Craving In 'n Out?  Sorry, we can't get there.  Or we could.  But we might crash a car and really?  Even an In 'n Out burger isn't worth that risk.  He is intense even when he's vacationing and sometimes the intensity is a bit much.  We're not used to having a third person in the house - not that we don't LOVE having any and all people visit - but it's just the shift in dynamic of any house guest.  It's fun.  But it's busy and full.  

We all just needed to ratchet back.  Most likely especially and mostly me.  I can be intense, too.  I know that. 

And as if this day wasn't hard enough - home-bound, pissy, nervous about just how much more snow can possibly fall from the sky - today, we have confirmation that H. does have a phone.  And is knowingly and quite specifically not contacting his family.  His parents.  

The person who relayed the information was indignant at his lack of communication - and told him so.  How hard his lack of communication is on his family.  She said 'I'm a mom now, too, and I can't imagine how hard it would be for H.'s mom to not hear from him'. 

For me, it makes it way (WAY) easier to just step back and say 'enough'.  I can't imagine what in the world we've ever done to deserve him treating us this way - but he is.  And OK.  So be it.  True, it's his addiction blurring the lines between acceptable and unacceptable behavior?  But maybe not.  He has the presence of mind to phone a friend (and ask for money) and then when asked 'are you in touch with your family?' say specifically 'no, I'm not calling my Mom 'cuz it's just easier for me to not do that'.  Wow.  Alrighty, then. 

Perfect White Christmas

Our Thursday trip to Reno for free play was thwarted by colossally horrible weather.  The highway between Carson City & Reno had chain requirements - definitely a first since we've lived here.  That road is a major highway - it is one of the first to get plowed and NDOT does a great job of keeping roads as open and passable as possible. 

One thing we have noticed this year is they aren't brining the roads as much.  The last two winters you'd know some serious weather was happening because the roads would be striped with brine - a super salty water mixture that helps stop ice on the roads.  

I did a Google search and it sounds like NDOT is having a very hard time finding staff...so they are doing more snow plowing vs. preventative brining.  Makes driving anywhere a bit more stressful because you're never sure if ice will form or not.  

We made it to Atlantis yesterday and it was not a great day in terms of play return.  There was lots of play and we had a really fun time but....slots were tight.  

Our Christmas Eve was very low key.  I did manage to (finally) wrap a few very small things we got for B. so by the time I went to bed, there were packages under the tree.  

I slept in until a smidge after 9 (!!!) and was thankful to see the almond croissants I had taken out of the freezer to rise had been baked by J. - coffee and a croissant was a great start to the day.  

Around 10:30, our casino host messaged me and asked 'are you on your way'?   I replied 'no, because our dinner time is 2PM'.  I asked 'can we come early - is there space at earlier seatings' and she said 'just come now and ask for me at the check-in desk'.  We had a very narrow window of when we would be able to get there and back - the forecasts for weather showed intense snow in late afternoon - so if we couldn't get there early, we wouldn't get there at all.  It all worked out.  

I had emailed her yesterday to ask if there would be any way we could get a third seat - up until yesterday, she had replied 'sorry, it's completely sold out'.  Yesterday, she didn't reply at all - and I took that as a 'maybe'. When we were at the casino, she came by to say 'hi' and said a party of 8 - a family of really huge gamblers - had cancelled and she was really bummed about it.  They were coming from the bay area and the weather was keeping them away - we are pretty sure they had cancellations all over the place.  

We made it to the buffet, three seats waiting for us and the best part was instead of using our comps to pay, the casino picked up the tab.  I pointed out an issue a couple weeks ago - an issue that happened the same way last year when I made an issue of it - and our host offered to do anything she could to make it right.  So she comped all of our buffets.  Saved us close to $300 so that was very nice.

The Special Events staff does such an amazing job - it was so beautiful.  I loved all the small details - like colored lights shining onto the top of the glass chandeliers (not pictured) giving them a subtle green and red 'glow'.  Perfect for the day!  It was really lovely. 

First time ever I was at Atlantis and didn't play a bit.  We ate and ran.  Headed home and while there was a bit of snow, it was mostly blowing snow and very dry.  We'd hit the road at the best possible time. We were home a little ahead of when we would have been leaving for our 2PM reservation - and it started snowing buckets.  In a very short time, everything outside was covered with a couple inches of fresh snow.  

We watched a Harry Potter movie.  B. wanted to watch all the movies from #4 on so we hunkered down in the living room to do that.  The cats are blissfully happy about people sitting with them on the couches.  Lots of purring and snuggling.  

We made some deviled eggs for 'dinner' and there can also be bacon sandwiches.  I'm about to go make some saltine cracker candy - looks relatively easy and we could all use something sweet.  

Didn't hear from H. but didn't really think we would.  I ponder 'will we ever hear from him again?'.  Not sure we will.  

B. will wing his way back to Nashville on Thursday.  Our neighbors reached out yesterday to say they are staying in California for Christmas - but we've arranged to meet for dinner on Monday night - so nice of them to make time to spend time with us when B. is visiting.  

It's been a truly White Christmas and while low key, it's been lovely.  It's nice just hanging out together and it's been wonderful having B. here.  

Pre-Surgery

J. has a host of pre-surgery appointments (total hip replacement) this week and next.  Today, he is in Reno getting pre-registered at the hospital.  He will also find out if I'm allowed to wait for him to be out of surgery.  We are thinking with the new Omicron variant of COVID that will be a 'no'.  (And I'm thinking even if it isn't a 'no', I'm not sure I want to hang out in a hospital for any length of time unless absolutely necessary).  

We bought a supply of N95 masks since we read that's one of the recommended things to do if you are out in crowded public places.  Example:  casinos.  

B. arrives tomorrow evening and we are hopeful weather will cooperate.  He doesn't arrive until 8:30 so we'll be traveling across the big bridge between Carson City & Reno in the dark - quite possibly one of my very least favorite things to do.  If there is snow, we have our neighbor T. on standby as backup - he and his wife are having dinner in Reno so they will be there and can get B. as they head back to Carson.  We'll see.  If it's only rain, we can make it.  

I looked into making our next car a 4WD vs. AWD but am not convinced that will really solve our issues. And I'm looking forward to making my last 12 car payments on the RAV4 and not having a car payment for a good long while.  

B.'s friend R. is hoping to travel to Reno from Stockton to spend time with B. - but that is entirely weather dependent so we'll see.  While travel here doesn't look like it will be too bad, the travel from California to Nevada is looking pretty awful so we'll just have to wait and see.  

I'm trying to adjust to not knowing all the plans - have to just let the weather play out and we'll see what can be arranged.  

There's still tons of snow on the ground and it's fun to take a look out the kitchen window as we're making our morning coffee to see what variety of new tracks are out there.  Our neighbor heard and saw a trio of coyotes a couple nights ago and we know we've had a ton of rabbits in the backyard.  And there sure are a lot of rabbit (and other) tracks on the golf course - I know the coyotes are hungry so I'm hoping the rabbits are being careful.  I saw one darting along the fence as I cooked dinner a couple nights ago - a flash of something 'dark' ran by the window and I hurried to see - a big jack rabbit making its way back to the safety of the bushes just across the golf course.  

We know the letter we sent to H. arrived to the person we mailed it to - but we don't know if H. has it.  We asked S. to please let us know when he'd been able to give it to H. - we haven't heard from him so far.  And I think it's possible H. would ask him not to say anything or H. would refuse to take it - and S. probably doesn't want to convey that info - especially as we head into a major holiday week.  I feel OK about it - it is what it is, I guess.  And I know we have made an effort to reach out - and if H. doesn't reciprocate, then OK.  That's on him.  

I make that sound easier than it is and/or ever will be but we can't control his actions.  It hurts our hearts on a regular basis.  But as one of the songs on repeat on my phone says (referring to memories) 'they're getting softer everyday'.  With each passing month, things get a bit easier.  Just a smidge.  It's an adjustment to be out of touch with someone we love - our son - but we remind each other that we have zero control over any of it - the only thing we can control is how we are about all of it.  And we're determined to live a happy, contently retired life.  No matter what.  

A few Christmas cards are trickling in to our mailbox - and sometimes, they are just a huge let down.  A friend who (also) moved from Tracy to a new home on the California coast sent a card with zero chattiness.  A nice Christmas greeting - but no info on how they are doing.  This matches the last Facebook message they sent me where I responded immediately and it was crickets after.  Hmmm.  I know we are all just so busy this time of year and my cards won't be terribly chatty with people - but that's mostly because the people I'm sending cards to our people I'm in touch with fairly regularly.  So they already know our news (if any).  Mostly, anyway.  

The point of the above paragraph is that we sent cards last year and may send cards this year but I'm not sure we're going to keep sending cards.  It's hard to have the one chance a year people have to stay in touch be disappointing more often than not.  

OK.  That's enough musing about things that are sad.  Life is good.  We are very blessed.  It's not hard to remind ourselves of that 'cuz we feel it every single day.  Life is a gift and we're plowing through it - one day at a time.

One Week Away

As expected, the month of December has/is flying by.  What a month.  Busy.  

We've had a fair amount of snow the past week.  Woke up this morning to rabbit tracks across the entire backyard.  They made the most perfect, beautiful tracks in the new snow.  

On Wednesday, we headed to Atlantis for our weekly free play.  I debated waiting until Thursday - but J. said we knew we had a bit of a window late Wednesday afternoon weather wise and if we waited for the next day, we might not be able to get there.  So off we went.  

At 4PM on the nose, this happened:  

 

 
SECOND Grand Jackpot on Dragon Link - less than 3 weeks from the first.  Another totally epic day.  Even more epic was the Major ball dropping in the full screen of 15 - and while I'm not positive, I think the Major was the 15th orb - but I can't be sure about that.  Just like the first one, it happened so quickly I couldn't really believe it.  I texted J. right away and he hurried over from the Blackjack tables to see.  So cool.  We headed home not too long after - when J. texted me and said 'we need to get on the road for weather issues'.  J. drove home in a full-on snow storm and it was a bit scary.  But we made it.

The day before this big win, we spent some time with our neighbors - and G. and I both shared our horrible losses lately.  She was feeling really down - like I was in early November.  So we chatted for a bit and talking really helped us both.  This is a strange hobby to have and while I've had some great recovery the past few weeks, it will go to shit at some point again - it's gambling.  It's never a sure thing.  I told her my epic losses in early November made the win of my first Grand (the day after Thanksgiving) so much sweeter.  I really needed that huge win and there it was.  We promised to share more so when either of us needs encouragement or we want to share the luck, we will!  So the next day, I hit this 2nd epic win - it was a wow moment for sure.  

They are the nicest people on the planet.  Yesterday, G.'s husband T. sent J. a text 'hey, I just shoveled off your driveway and sidewalks.  I did ours and was on a roll so I just kept going'.  Bless his heart!  We hit the neighbor lottery for sure.  

In other news, earlier this week, we mailed a letter to H. care of the person we know who has seen him recently.  We kept the letter brief - mostly reminding him we love him and care about him - forever and always.  And that we would wish a different life for him and encouraged him to make different choices. We also included two self addressed (to us) stamped envelopes, 3 pens and some blank sheets of notebook paper and encouraged him to write us back.  I don't know if we will hear from him or not.  Probably not is what I think will be the result.  But we are trying.  At least we'll know we did something to try to establish communication.

I've been re-reading the blog and gaining confirmation and perspective on H.'s issues - which have existed for a very long time.  I should feel completely stupid for so many of the observations made that never added up - and of all the things I ever thought, him being a heroin addict wasn't even anything I ever considered.  We were naive and stupid and gullible.  And re-reading it all just feels so damn exhausting.  And more than a little hopeless at times.  Sometimes I think one of my 'I'm retired now with so much time on my hands' projects will be to do a timeline summary of the stories.  The things we realized after months of events that never made sense.  Really, truly - event after event morphing and changing with nothing making sense.   

My heart (often) feels heavy these days.  

Other great news:  B. has been able to coordinate his schedule so he can be here for Christmas.  He said he owes a lot of people a lot of favors but he is OK with that.  His new job has him working 11AM - 8PM four to five days a week so I suspect he will be working long stretches of days in a row to offset the extra shifts his co-workers took so he could travel home.  B. hasn't been home for Christmas since 2017 so it's been a long while!  We are so excited!  

I made a list of all available dinners - we've been eating off the freezer and pantry for the past few weeks and little by little, we're cleaning out both freezers.  The difference a list makes is amazing - J. asked 'thoughts on dinner' earlier today and my initial reaction was 'I have no idea' which would then lead to take out.  But instead, I opened up the Excel file, gave him a few ideas and we created chili dogs out of what we had on hand.  Only one can of chili and no buns - so I used some frozen dinner rolls and Texas toast.  The only bad thing is:  while cutting the dinner rolls (which had a very crispy outside and soft inside), I cut my index finger on my left hand.  It's not a big cut but it's pretty deep - it bled for a long time and we finally just put a band aid on it (tightly).  It might benefit from a stitch or two but I think it will heal on it's own.  Fingers crossed.  

I'll be putting together a grocery order this weekend for pickup early next week to be sure we have what we need for the week with B. here.  And his friend R. is coming to visit for a night or two as well while he's here so we'll have extra company.  

In a break from our usual tradition of Prime Rib at Christmas (at home), we are going to the Atlantis Grand Ballroom Christmas dinner.  Well, I mean B. & J. are - I didn't think B. was coming so I didn't get a third ticket for him - so we only have seats for two.  The amount of food I eat at any buffet never justifies the expense - and while it's really more about the ambiance, beauty and joy of the event (Atlantis really does great events), I know J. & B. will enjoy it way more than me.  I'll be fine with playing slots.  LOL.   (I think we will go up and ask if they have room for a third person in our party - if not, OK.  If yes, then we can all eat).  Our host says it's completely sold out.  So probably not.  But maybe.

We'll be doing additional Christmas decorating this weekend.  We've got our neighbor T. on standby to give J. a ride to the Reno airport to pick B. up in case there's snow on Wednesday.  T. has a huge 4 wheel drive truck with snow tires and he can (literally) get anywhere - we were so glad he was available if needed. Seems like Mother Nature is making up for all the mild weather we've had in October & November.  She's dropping bucket loads of snow everyday lately - and as always, it's beautiful.  My friend C. asked me 'does it get old'?  I said 'no.  I am always excited and giggle like a two year old whenever we have snow and it's breathtakingly beautiful'.  It never gets old. 

Shopping Success!

Up early-ish today to try to get the Turtlebeach Velocity controller for MS Flight Sim.  I nudged Jim via text around 8:30 to be sure we were both sitting at our desks ready to refresh the site at 9AM.  

Got it!  Sending it directly to B.'s apartment in Clarksville and it should be there within 7 days.  He is super excited and so are we - it was like the Christmas' of the past where we would do everything we could to get the boys whatever they coveted for Christmas.  

I've had two nights of pretty decent sleep and the major change is ramping up the heat a bit.  It has been taking me forever to feel warm and if there's no warm 'snuggle factor' engaged, I can't sleep.  Adjusting the heat seems to have helped because I have had two nights of some of the deepest sleep I've had in ages. 

So we started the day with a mission - success!  Now on to other missions.  It's a cold, cloudy day here - it's 38 degrees outside and rain is in the forecast for later today and across this week.  We have a lot to do for outside Christmas decorations - though J. did get the light projectors set up and working out front and put the new penguin cutouts across the front yard.  We still need to put the lights on the back fence and we have a ton of spiral trees to place.  We're thinking we might put them in the planter boxes along the driveway and also just outside the back fence.  Yes, they'd be on the golf course - but on a part of the course that's just dirt - nothing growing but weeds (which J. has spent a lot of time removing).  

The tree box is on the hand cart ready to be moved into the house so we can start decorating.  We've already got some of our indoor decor items set up and it's starting to feel festive.  

Our neighbors are home.  J. noticed on Friday morning that the window shutters in their guest room were closed.  We noticed they were open and had pondered if someone had been there.  (Their two kids live in the area so it was possible).  Anyway....upon seeing someone had closed the shutters in that room, we were pretty sure they were 'home'.  Confirmed a couple days ago via text.  I shared with G. the pic of my Grand jackpot and she was super happy for me.  She's won multiple Grands...so that's my next 'bucket list' item - more Grand jackpots!!  

I have a doctor appointment later today for a pneumonia vaccination (hopefully).  Also a recheck of my ongoing sinus issues with a possible referral to an ENT.  

Haircut tomorrow.  Atlantis on Wednesday.  The week will fly by. And before we know it, it will be Christmas and then NYE!  (I'm really looking forward to NYE).

Officially Boosted

J. helped me navigate our medical group's website and I successfully booked a COVID booster shot.  Had it yesterday at 10AM.  I declared today a pajama day 'cuz I just don't feel like getting dressed.  I feel minorly 'punky' - a bit achy and like I'd rather be sleeping.  I did have a lousy night's sleep so that's part of the sleepy part...but I'm determined to power through so hopefully tonight will be better sleep. 

I suggested to J. that I'd like to stop watching crazy loud, violent shows right before bed.  Not sure it had any impact on my sleep but also not sure it didn't.  We're watching Invasion and it's intense.  Very.  

We've noticed a huge number of small weeds in both yards - though mostly in the front because it gets more sun than the back.  We had the company we use for exterminator services give us a quote for weed prevention and abatement - $250 a year which feels like a bargain.  (Our lot is 11K square feet and the treatable surface (as measured by the technician via Google maps) is 7700.  I thought the price was pretty reasonable for the space.  

They will get us on the schedule ASAP and will do their best to plan to do the granular pre-emergent before a rain storm so it will be watered in by nature.  If not, we'll water it in within 7 days of application.  

Why pre-emergent when we already have tons of weeds?  We'd been pondering what happened because we didn't have weeds last year - but the technician explained that November temps were consistently at 60 degrees or higher - and the unexpected warmth is why weeds that usually don't grow are going crazy right now.  These weeds are small and impossible to remove by the roots.  (We've tried).  You end up pulling off the visible part - in two to three attempts per plant - and the roots stay put.  If it were 10-50 weeds, we'd do it ourselves.  But it's hundreds....and we can't do that.  

They will return in Spring to apply emergent spray which will kill anything that comes up when the earth reheats in the Spring.  

It's crazy that it's early December and we've had only one snow storm - in late October.  Nothing in November.  I'm ready for snow!  

But not until we get Christmas decorations done.  We managed to get all the decor items down from the overhead storage in the garage - and have decided that from now on, we will store those items on the floor.  We did it - but it seemed unwise on more than one occasion so I think we should make sure 'falling off a ladder' is eliminated from the list of things that could go wrong. 

I'm binge watching 'School of Chocolate' on Netflix since I've finished watching Great British Baking show including the just released holiday shows.