Regrouped

In true soldiering on form, B. is doing better.  He's already planning to be back at Airborne and RASP in a year - and is already working hard at that goal.  I have never been more proud of him.  He is such a determined guy - the disappointment is already past and he's moving forward at full speed ahead.  He called this evening and he sounds much, much better - positive and motivated and still enjoying what he's doing....in spite of the disappointment of earlier this week.

He has friends he's hanging out with and tonight, they were going into town to go watch a televised fight at Buffalo Bill Wings (or something like that).  It's good he's getting out and has guys to hang with.

Thankfully, he made it to the bank on base so he has a temporary debit card and is solvent once again.  I'm greatly relieved he has ready cash so he can join friends doing things while he's off.

One of the biggest changes from being in Basic is the freedom of more normal Monday through Friday, 8-5ish hours.  Although he did do a stint of 'Brigade' duty which meant he had to hang out at a desk for 24 hours - but he seemed to be enjoying that, too.  Hung with a drill Sargent and another Lieutenant and enjoyed talking to them.

Last Saturday when we were there, we went shoe shopping and the young lady who waited on us was very sweet.  B. bought new running shoes and some inserts.  After we left the store, B. said 'I really want to give her my number'...and he was patting his pockets to see what he had - he said 'I don't have anything to write on'.  I pulled a small notebook and a pen out of my purse, tore out a piece of paper and he wrote his name and cell phone number on it.  He made J. and I wait outside ('I'm nervous so just wait here, kay?')....and he went back in.  He came out and said 'she was with another customer but I went up and said 'S., I'm sorry to interrupt, I meant to give you this'.  And he handed her the paper.

About 30 minutes later, he got a text from her with a comment of 'Bold move.  I like bold.  So now here's my name and number'.  A series of texts followed - and in his 2nd bold move, B. asked if she could go for a run with him on Sunday.  She instead invited him to go paddle-boarding with her and friends at Lake Oliver in Columbus.  Her Sunday was fully booked - 'cuz her mom is a Methodist minister (so church!) and because S. was leaving on Tuesday for Cambridge (England!) where she is finishing her Master's in Theology.

We weren't sure what (if anything) would come from it - but they had a wonderful time on Sunday.

Funny story:  when we were with her at the store on Saturday, she said to B. 'my friend C. - her last name is McMaster' - (all of our eyes got as big as saucers as we said almost simultaneously 'as in the Base Commander General McMaster?' who had just spoken at B.'s graduation the day before) and she said 'one and the same - he's her Dad'...so the event on Sunday afternoon was something C. was working at since the company she works for put on the event.

Afterwards, S. (who had picked up B. on the base) took C. home - so B. got to go in and meet General McMaster in person.  They had a nice conversation -

S. and B. are communicating a lot from what we hear.....and he says 'she is really great'....with the sweet tone that comes from being completely smitten.  And from what we see (we read her tweets), she feels the same.

It's so sweet - and I think having her to talk to is also helping him through the disappointments of the week.

Sure, it's early in a long-distance relationship and a zillion things could go wrong.  But for now, B. seems to be hoping he ends up staying in Georgia for another couple months - she returns to Georgia at the end of May and he'd love to be around to see her before shipping out to wherever they send him.  

I am grateful he seems resilient - though setbacks are hard, they aren't derailing him one bit.  And for all the disappointment, he's doing a great job focusing on NOW and reminding himself of how far he has come - and we are very proud of him for even more reasons than we were this time last week.

Pride

There are other posts in draft stage - sort of a travelogue of the trip.  All the spectacularly amazing things that happened that had my heart soaring most of the time, though also had a lump in my throat. Simultaneously.  What a wonderful week....I might post them later - they need refining and I have no time to refine at the moment.  Being off for six wonderful days has led to the hardest 'vacation return' ever - and it sure as heck isn't helping that my assistant is off this week.  Boy - I miss her.  All the little things she does that I don't have to think about are on my plate - so I'm getting to nothing 'big' - but I will.

Leaving B. was so incredibly hard.  Broke my heart to drive away as he gave a little wave.  Like when he was five and heading to kindergarten.  Since I caught the tail end of his wave, I felt compelled to give the horn a little honk to get his attention - and he waved again only with a slightly more 'oh, come on mom' look to it.  We had talked about goodbyes....how they are hard so let's just let it be once we've done it.  But did I risk him thinking we didn't care about his wave?  Couldn't do that.  Turned out (via text) he was fine with it.

So it's now Wednesday and yesterday morning, B. had a crushing disappointment.  He failed his Physical Test on Monday morning - and sadly failed the retest on Tuesday morning as well.  So he's out of Airborne - and RASP - and pretty much any 'elite' squad.  To say he's been having a hard time with that is the understatement of the millennium and there's not much we can do to help him through it.  We are trying.  Reminding him that he DID accomplish an amazing goal of getting a RASP contract out of Basic - nearly impossible from what he'd been told during the enlistment process.  But he DID IT.  We couldn't be any prouder of him - no matter what - but still, of course, he is disappointed.

So for now, he's awaiting his next assignment.  J. and I have read a lot and it's possible - not likely - but possible - he could be 'recycled' and given another shot in a few weeks.  In the mean time, he's doing 'incredibly boring' stuff and is pretty miserable.  But we figure miserable is good - considering they could ship him up to the infantry battalion right there on base (where he was originally assigned to before he made RASP in Basic) and they haven't yet.  We are hopeful that's a good sign?  We don't want to say that to him 'cuz it might give him false hope - and we don't want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed again.  But we hope.

Some guys out of Basic who had RASP and decided not to do it were offered placements in PARIS and HAWAII!  Wouldn't that be lovely?  Not likely - but we are focusing on possibilities because those are more encouraging.

Whatever happens, we are steadfastly impressed with his motivation and dedication.  Damn push ups.  He missed by two.  TWO.

This turn of events hasn't lessened the highlights of last week; the pride we feel for what B. has accomplished and that he is, in fact, officially a soldier in the United States Army.....

Parenting is hard.  Damn hard.

Vacation Moments

Some perfect moments of the past couple days:

• On the way to the airport - just leaving our city heading up I-5 North, the Stones hit 'Get Off My Cloud' came on the radio...and it made us both think of B. who used to sing it as 'Hey, You, Alphabet, Wow!' when he was little.  Seemed so perfect to have that song come on as we began our journey to see him.  Made my heart happy.
• Looking into the sea-blue eyes of my husband as he explains the effect of various atmospheric phenomenons on aircraft in flight.  He does all that while I'm squeezing his hand as tight as I did when I gave birth.  I love this man...he is such a great man and I am so lucky to be his wife.  He is so patient with me during flights and I doubt I would be brave enough to travel much without him.
• I love how we make everything an adventure.  I took notes of things I saw during our drive and can Google anything and find the most amazing things happening.  Like this.  We saw it from afar - a "hill" covered in green sheets.  We drove closer and it had markers that said "Hickory Ridge" and it seemed like a new housing development?  Hidden by lots of trees but with stone 'markers' at each entrance - like fancy home developments have.  Maybe they were shoring up a hill from rain?  But Google revealed it's true identity:  a landfill hill being used as a solar energy generation 'plant'.  It's amazing....incredible!  

• Fried chicken and waffles for dinner last night (along with a drink called Blue Cotton Candy that was also delicious) AND waffles and grits (and bacon and eggs) for breakfast this morning at The Waffle House.  Waffles for every meal!  I love the south!
• We visited Stone Mountain Park - an amazing site!  The park was open though many 'attractions' were closed - but since we didn't care about the attractions and just wanted to see the carving in the hill, it was perfect for us!  I love the green here - it's incredibly beautiful in Spring.  Dogwoods everywhere!  Azaleas which I've never really cared much for in California - but here, they are breathtaking!  
• We saw a soldier in the Sacramento airport and talked to him.  Turned out he was returning to Ft. Benning.  He lives in Ceres and was returning after being home for a weekend to attend his mom's funeral.  My heart broke for him - just tore me up.  And yet, he was a soldier.  He was polite and 'true' and such a nice young man.  Made me proud that my son is a soldier.  This young man would be graduating with his Ft. Benning group in two weeks and then going to Kentucky to train as the type of paratrooper that jumps from helicopters instead of planes.  It was such a pleasure to meet him - just such a nice young man.  
• Also on the flight from Phoenix to Atlanta, I was seated next to an Army Nurse stationed at Ft. Lewis in Washington state.  She delivers babies in an army hospital and says it's a great job.  She          was heading to Atlanta to visit her boyfriend - and she had just finished her final "PT" (physical fitness test) and was heading into her last six months of Army life.         
• I love that having a family member in the military makes us instant 'family' with other military families or enlisted.  

We will see B. tomorrow and I can't wait....he called home yesterday - then called H.'s cell since we weren't home.  We will see him in about 12 hours for the first time in months and I can't wait to be with him for a couple days! 

We're having a wonderful time and I can't wait for the next few days with B.!

       

Boomerang!

H. arrived this morning stealthily.  I know it's silly to hear footsteps and be 'startled' but I didn't hear him unlock the front door or enter.  Since Chloe was on her way to the kennel with J., she didn't launch into her 'intruder in the house' mode.  He entered so quietly that when a tall, dark, handsome man walked into the study unexpectedly, my heart sort of jolted - until I realized who it was.  I said 'H., you've got to give us a text warning that you're on your way over...please'.

After going over the list of daily to-do's and putting together a long list of optional things to do (for compensation), H. said 'so I need to talk to you and Dad when I can'.  I said 'let's talk now' even though Dad wasn't home.

H.'s roommate has broken up with his long time girlfriend and since his dad moved to Houston recently, the roommate is moving there too.  In two weeks.  The dad has assured H. that they will still pay their 1/2 of the rent through the end of the lease unless the complex will allow them out of the lease.  This isn't a small mom and pop complex - it's a ginormous real estate developer complex and I think the odds are slim to none they will be able to get out of it.  J. and the boys are going to the office at 4PM today to see what can be considered.  The roommate's dad is flying here in two weeks and moving his son out of the apartment he's barely been in three months.

So H. is moving back home and we're OK with that.  It will be different to once again have an adult 'child' living under our roof but we're OK.  We'll see how it goes.  We've already talked about going ahead and painting the 'playroom' and his bedroom now while there's nothing in there - and I've given the OK to have his 'sleeping area' in the playroom and his bedroom can be a media/office/lounge area.  Fine for him to make good use of the space for now.  Still keeping B.'s room intact and untouched - ready for him to return whenever he wants to.

H. had a good interview last week at Home Depot and was told it could be one or two weeks before he'll hear back.  We filed his 'new' unemployment claim today so that should hopefully get some money coming in until a new job is found.

If he moves back in, he knows he has to work or go to school...and he wants to work.  He's agreed to pay us room and board - nothing close to what he paid to live in the apartment but something to mitigate increases to our budget that we aren't willing to just assume again.  Not that we couldn't assume them again - but I think it's time that being an adult comes with some living expenses that aren't paid by your parents.

I have a horrific headache today which is not great considering the considerable amount of stuff to take care of in preparation to be gone a week.  It will get done.  Two loads of laundry done; dishwasher done; packing sort of started and H. on board to assist with all things related to the house....so at least I don't have to worry too much about 'stuff' around here.  He will be around to help.

The cat is wandering around crying constantly - I suspect he knows what the suitcases mean and he knows the dog is also gone - so he is gearing up for being lonely and expressing his discontent.  I have begged H. to come over at least twice a day so the cat won't be totally alone for seven days - 'cuz I fear what disasters the cat will create if left to his own devices that long.  He's 15 years old - and it shows.

I've decided that when H. moves back home, I will afford him the status of an adult.  He can come and go as he pleases - though we will appreciate a heads up if it's likely he's not coming home on any given night.  I won't harp on him about his hours....and he has to keep things picked up.  We've enjoyed noticing that it's much easier to keep things tidy around here sans 'kids' and we'd really like to continue to enjoy it....so H. will have to work on that a bit.  Hopefully living on his own has shown him the value of keeping things picked up.

I think the next time I post will be in Georgia, hopefully with pics of B. and his graduation.  Dreading the long travel day tomorrow but have a fully charged Kindle with zillions of books so will be occupied during long flights.  Quick layovers are stressful and I fear we will miss our connection - but we have a built in one day cushion just for that reason!

Still....

This Sunday's disappointment - no phone call - is somewhat squashed by the absence of the crushing sadness that comes with the thought 'and tomorrow is Monday and I have to go to work'.  At least I'm off tomorrow....

Thank goodness I'll be seeing that son of ours in a few days....'cuz no call in spite of his hint he would call is torture.  They either lost a competition or someone did something they shouldn't so they lost phone privileges.

I hope he has more phone time in Airborne....he's only there for a few weeks!

The end of Good Wife and then heading to bed - tomorrow is packing, errands, etc. before a long day of travel.

Waiting....

It's been a weekend of 'on hold'.  A letter from B. hinted that they might be able to call home this weekend.  So far, it seems like every unit BUT B.'s has their phones back - based on Facebook info.  Hoping.  I know he's out and about 'cuz he got money out.  The Ranger Games are happening at Ft. Benning this weekend so I'm wondering if he was able to go watch for a bit - I think he would really enjoy that.

We are so excited for the trip!  Suitcases down, lists and packing started.  B. asked us to bring him a few things so we're trying hard not to forget.  I'm debating what to wear....packing layers 'cuz I've never been to Georgia and have no idea what it's like - except I know it's muggy.  Very muggy.

We're piddling around the house and garden.

Garden story:  the bean plants were invaded earlier this week by snails, we think.  They lost quite a few leaves.  We used snail bait around the bottom and that seems to be helping - totally OK to use with veggies.  Then later in the week, I noticed a small black and red bug - and used neem oil spray to kill it.  Told a friend at work and she said 'hmm...that sounds like lady bug larvae'.  Sure enough!  I'd killed a baby lady bug!  J. said 'well, technically I killed it' (he sprayed).  But I ordered the killing so it didn't make me feel much better.  Today, we noticed quite a few more lady bug larvae and we are leaving them be!  The aphids are much fewer and I'm sure the lady bugs are helping with that.  And we now officially have beans sprouting!!  We wish we weren't leaving for a week but hopefully our house sitter (non-residing) will do a good job.

Ahem....our house sitter....H. will be earning money daily for tending to the garden; the cat; retrieving mail; checking in on things; doing the trash bins; watching for packages and bringing them in.  All sorts of 'stuff' that he will be paid handsomely for.  I am cautiously optimistic and hope I don't come home to a dead garden and a pissed off cat who shows his angst by doing things all over the floors that he shouldn't.  Yuck!

We fly from Sacramento to Phoenix (40 minute connection - hope we can make it) and then from Phoenix to Atlanta.  Spending the night near the Atlanta airport 'cuz we will be tired and we don't know where we're going.  Next morning, leisurely wake up, check out, eat a great southern breakfast/lunch and head to Columbus, GA and check-in where we will stay until Sunday.  Early morning departure back to Atlanta and then reverse the trip.  Arriving home Sunday evening.  I took next Monday off too 'cuz I need a day to regroup.  To Phoenix family:  if you've got nothing to do on Sunday and want to say a quick 'hi' while we have another 40 minute connection, message me and I'll tell you when and where.  Haven't mentioned it 'cuz it's a seriously short time - but then again, we are THERE...which is rare.  And flights do get delayed...

I have a couple small things I need to do at work - but I am off tomorrow so I will be arranging to do them this evening and/or early, early tomorrow.  Just sticking close to home until 6PM in case B. calls.

I hope he will....even though we will see him in a few days, I'd sure love to hear from him.

Pics!

I just had to wake up J. to tell him that there are new pics of B.'s unit - including one of B. FRONT & CENTER!  So, so happy to see him!  I was pretty sure the guy in the front middle was him in one of the shots - he looks quite a bit different - thinner - and he has his 'stern Army face' on....and then a few more pics in and he was the featured soldier receiving some kind of pin!  We are so excited to have a 'sighting' of him - and in only a couple weeks, we will be there to see him in person!  Can't wait.

Those pics were a wonderful way to start the day - a day when I had thought I might be off - and could be - but feel like there's plenty to do and I should take advantage of one more meeting free day and enjoy the last day of 'school's out' before we jump back in next week.  Hard to believe it's already April.

We have lots of errands planned this weekend and working around the house.  I'm taking some of my nicer 'clothes I don't wear anymore' to a consignment shop next week just to see what that's like.  I don't know if they will sell (but think they will) and it's worth a try.  If the payoff is less than I would get as a write off, we'll just donate everything....

Our garden is going great and the backyard is really looking nice.  We threw flower seeds in the two raised beds and they are already starting to sprout.  The tomatoes are growing like crazy and have plenty of blossoms already.

I just love Spring - it's my favorite.

H. will be house sitting (not staying here but visiting daily) while we are in Georgia so I'm working on making lists for him of the daily 'must-do's'.

Seeing my eldest son was just what I needed to start the day renewed!  Thankful for Facebook!!

Parade

Heard on Law & Order:

"I don't just want to rain on your parade.  I want to blow up all the floats."

That sums up the day -

April Fool

No jokes around here other than J. commenting somewhat profusely on the 'peak' of my hair.  It couldn't be too bad 'cuz I had a haircut last week - but when you sleep sandwiched between two pillows, your hair tends to 'spike' a bit.  Oh well.

I am heading to the shower shortly so that getting up and dressed and ready for the day will hopefully instill some vigor in my motivation.  Much to do around here (always)....

Easter dinner was nice - H. and his roommate F. did come over and we enjoyed a nice meal.  They are boys so they basically scarfed as quickly as possible; watched a little TV; had dessert (H. didn't but his roommate did) and then headed out with care packages in hand.  The Easter Bunny left them a 12 pack of double roll toilet paper!  And chips and nacho sauce - plus leftovers from dinner and extra fresh strawberries.  It was nice to have a reason to cook and I think I convinced H. to consider joining us for Sunday dinners now and then - with his roommate too.  Hope they will.

No call from B. which makes me sad.  There are new pics up this morning (quite a few) but we can't find him anywhere.  That's OK.  Three new sets of pics sure confirms they've been VERY busy the past week.  And in just two more weeks, we will be on our way to see him.  One set of pics shows them practicing for graduation!  It's getting close!

There were many thunderstorms rolling through yesterday - odd weather where we could see blue skies over our neighbors house but it was pouring!  It was fun and freshened things up.  Will have to go out and check on the veggies to see if they survived a pummeling.  J. had just mowed the lawns (thank goodness!)....it's still pretty drippy outside.  Glad we didn't use our Groupon coupons for car washes on Saturday 'cuz that would have been a waste!  We will use them next weekend for sure, though, 'cuz they will be expired if we don't!  I really need a good inside vacuuming since that hasn't happened in my car in a long, long time.

H. is supposedly (hopefully) showing up at noon to work for us for four hours.  We'll see.  I had to take back some $ I prepaid him a couple weeks ago when he didn't fulfill his end of the bargain - so we'll see.  I hope he keeps to the agreement and shows up as planned.  Hopefully, he learned his lesson....

Alrighty, time to get a move on!  Happy April!