New Bed

Christmas shopping has commenced....mainly for me.  :-)  I am was determined not to use 'tis the season' as an excuse to shop for things I didn't know I wanted until I saw them...but it IS the season and when I shop, I find things....

Chloe got a new bed.  She had been using the cat bed that was up in our room - neither cat ever took any interest in it though they did covet shoe box lids.  One day after Klink died, I brought the bed down to the study and Chloe started sleeping in it...but it was small.  She could stretch out but her head and butt touched the sides of the bed.

I didn't really think about it much until I saw a catalog for In the Company of Dogs and took a look at all the beds they have....right down to the way your dog sleeps.  Chloe is a 'burrower' and a 'nester'.  She is frequently covered up from head to toe with her snout poking out.  She 'makes' her bed by 'digging' and snuffling while she 'works'.  And she loves being cozy.

So we bought her a new bed - no, not right.  I bought her a new bed.  I'd planned to have it under the tree for her ('cuz as usual this time of year, I'm fearful the tree will be 'empty' - or emptier than it has been in years past)....but I wanted to get it unpacked and get the box out of the study.

We unpacked it on Thursday - and she wanted nothing to do with it.  She'd sort of jump 'in/on' it but quickly jump right back out.  We put her old bed up and she whined for a bit.

Then last night, she finally went in the new bed - getting the hang of it.  It's 'poofier' than her old bed - it has no 'firmness' in it's base - it's just all 'fill' and she's not used to that.

But I think she's getting the hang of it.

She's sleeping so hard in it that she wakes up startled now and then.  She's out like a light for long stretches - which she never was with the old bed.

I think she's going to get used to it.  She's now burrowed further in - and snuggled up with her blanket.

Successful purchase!

Let There Be Bubbles!

I tried the Salt Rising Bread starter again last night.  This morning, it looked like it has before - sort of 'lumpy' cornmeal dumplings.  But I did see one lone 'bubble' at the edge.  J. confirmed it 'smelled'....I can't smell a thing these days.

I decided 'what the heck' - only risking wasting three cups of flour, some salt, baking soda and sugar with hot water to make Starter #2.  I combined the two starters in a glass mixing bowl, covered with plastic wrap and put it in the proof box set for 98 degrees.  J. and I headed out to grocery shop for tomorrow.

It worked!!  Starter #1 must have been 'active' 'cuz the combined starters are a bubbly, expanding bowl of gorgeousness!  I am so excited - I feel like running a victory lap around the neighborhood.

Letting it 'rise' a bit more - then it will be combined with more flour, soft butter and a little salt; kneaded in my stand mixer then put into loaf pans to rise again for another 4 or so hours.  Hoping we have two successful loaves of the most delicious bread in the world by dinner time this evening!!

Picture cartwheels.

No.  Don't do that.  No one deserves that visual.

I am just really excited!!  Yeast-less bread is not easy - but I think I'm close to being successful!!  I may bake our bread every week!

Pre-Turkey

Haven't worked the Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving week in a long time.  Made it through, though - albeit not unscathed.  The cold is in my chest and this morning, I'm pretty sure it's a full blown sinus infection.  Dang it all to heck!  'Tis the season 'cuz everyone at work is sick with something.  I even got a flu shot and it's still knocking me for a loop.

But never fear!  Meals are planned (including Turkey Tettrazini and Turkey Pot Pie for leftovers) and J. and I are heading to WinCo shortly for supplies.  Then it will be a day of pie baking; sauce simmering; and general prep work for the big day tomorrow.  Even with it being just the three of us, it's still a special day!

J. and H. went to AmaLuna last night at AT&T park - I was decidedly under the weather and the 2.5 hour trip there and then back again combined with the cold and the show time itself was not something I thought I could weather.  They both seemed to enjoy it....so that's good. H. is off until Friday so he's enjoying some down time.  He and J. also went to San Leandro yesterday for lunch with J.'s brother.  I worked 1/2 day....so missed the lunch, too.

Today, H. discovered the joy of direct deposit!  He doesn't have to drive to Stockton to pick up his check 'cuz it was in his bank account when he woke up this morning!  After a gazillion jobs where we kept trying to get him to set it up, he finally did it.  No 'hold' on his account for a day or two - just the awesomeness of all funds available the morning of pay day! Progress!

Even with my head aching and nose snuffling, it's going to be a fun day!  I'm determined!  And I like cooking on days when I can just immerse myself in the process.

Turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, green bean casserole and crescent rolls are the traditional menu and I'm not messing with tradition.  The pies will be berry (hopefully) and pumpkin.  My adventurous self wanted to attempt to make the pies from scratch - including the crusts - but my snuffly self is going to settle for store-bought.  Or frozen.  Eee gads.

It will all be delicious no matter what!

Happy Thanksgiving to family and friends near and far!

Mania

The ABBA Mania show was great - even better when we realized that what we were watching wasn't a 'concert'.  It was a 'stage show' - musical theater with everything carefully scripted and choreographed.  Right down to the hand movements.  Having never seen the group ABBA live in my life, there was nothing to compare it to - but apparently, their show was pretty full of 'dance' as well.  After the first few songs, the audience got more into it and it was a lot of fun.  It was also one of the longest shows we've been to at Gallo - a full two hours with a 15 minute intermission.  I did know most of the songs so enjoyed singing along.  Fun evening.

Yesterday, J. and I went to Mi Pueblo for lunch.  We must have been missing Playa 'cuz this market that opened here in Tracy about a year ago is straight out of Mexico.  We enjoyed a quick lunch from their 'food court' and then wandered the store.  The panderia is just like in Mexico.  And there is a great selection of fish, meats and cheese.  And their food court has a wide selection of items for there or take out.  We also got fresh tortillas right off the conveyor belt.  It was fun...and a little shocking to realize that their prices are really high on 'normal' groceries.  Not that we'd shop there often - but to get a grilled chicken fresh off the BBQ would be great for dinner now and then.

We headed to Savemart and dug around in the freezer case to find a 13 pound turkey.  That's the smallest we could find so we grabbed it.  I'll start meal planning and assessing inventory here and J. will shop tomorrow at Winco.  I'm hoping I can go with him - working Monday and Tuesday but hopeful I can leave a bit 'earlier' than usual (3PM instead of 5 or 6 would be lovely).

After 37 years, J.'s last and final paycheck was in our account Friday morning.  Now we're 'on our own'.  I'm sure we'll be fine....though Christmas is looming and that's a hard time to budget for no matter what the inflow is.  It's official - he's retired!  Though he is looking into being trained as an Affordable Care Act workers who can assist people with their insurance options. We'll see how that works out.  Mainly something to keep him busy vs. a money thing.

Some folks in our neighborhood have inflated turkey decorations on their lawns.  Others are already in full blown Christmas decor mode.  I want to have the house decorated before B. is home on the 14th so we have a lot to do - but there is no way we are decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving.  And also no way I will buy an inflatable turkey.  What's next?  Huge four leaf clovers?  Bunnies?  Hearts?  Seriously....

H. is off T-W-Th this week so that's great!  He's not getting 40 hours yet but considering he's making more than double the hourly wage he was making, he's doing OK.  He has to pay his union membership fee weekly so that's a chunk off the top...and he has to 'phone it in' weekly vs. them just deducting from his check.  He also has to pay us back weekly for the new phone we had to buy him when his old phone crumbled into bits.

I've had enough 'wake up' time so will get dressed and start the day.

Paper Cut

Survived the mind-numbing seven hour construction meeting.  Me and four men in a conference room most of the day (we did finally take a lunch just after 1PM when my boss looked at me and said 'Lunch'? .  Followed quickly by 'she needs to eat so let's go'). I like that he's starting to know me well enough to know when sustenance is required.  I didn't even have to nod or verbalize anything - one look and he knew it was time to eat.

It was an excellent meeting and we are making such amazing progress but the list continues to grow.  Yesterday's revelation (towards the very end of the meeting) was confirmation of something I've been worried about for a very long time:  we are probably going to have to dig an additional well on the school campus we are modernizing.  "Modernizing", you say "but you have to dig a well?".  Yes.  The school is outside the city limits and is not on city water or sewer.  And the fire codes require that we have capacity to sprinkle the buildings for an hour - which necessitates a 500,000 gallon water tank on the property (also new).  And to constantly cycle and fill that tank requires more water pressure capacity than our existing two wells can provide.

Crap.  That's another $100K - $200K in expense on a project that is already perilously close to not being do-able within the confines of the budget.

Discovering this fact - that I have long been vocal about - at the end of a meeting when we are within a few months of breaking ground  - is not a great thing.  Sometimes I feel like it's a gender thing - they listen to me but they don't actually hear what I'm saying -

Oh well.  Pun not intended but bringing a smile to my face.  It will all work out.

I should be off all next week - historically I am.  But I think I will be working at least part of Monday and Tuesday just to keep progressing on the 'huge report'.  I started so early - really, really early - and thought I was 'ahead' but in the end, it will be a mad dash.  It always is.

There's been some discourse in the ranks this week and I struggle with so much anxiety about stupid stuff.  Fairly well versed in tamping down panic over things I can't control - and yet. Seemingly equally well versed in making my self bonkers about things periodically.  Feel so stupid when I let my head create a mountain out of nothing - but yet, I keep doing that.

We have tickets to ABBA Mania at the Gallo Center tonight and I know if I can stay vertical that long, I will enjoy the show.  Next Tuesday, we are going to San Francisco to see Amaluna - a new Cirque de Soleil show.  It's at AT&T park (outside?) so that should be interesting.  Layers.  Lots of layers.

Part of this weekend will be spent locating a small turkey.  We're hoping to find a 10 pounder but likely in the low teens.

And I'm trying the bread starter again.  And again....probably. No success yet.  But I'm not giving up.  I think I need to consider also giving it a try in the Spring or Summer when it's not freezing.  I seem to get in the 'let's try this again mode' in the cold and bluster of Winter...making the 'keep starter warm' part of the process a huge challenge, even with the new gadget.

I realized I didn't explain the reason for the title:  before the construction meeting, in the very brief time I had available, I handed off a ton of stuff to my assistant.  As I was re-grouping a stack of stuff, I got a very nasty paper cut on the palm of my hand.  About an inch long and it was from a file folder!  Hurts like a son-of-a-gun and is in a very bad place so it keeps reopening.  OUCH!!

My first reaction was 'it's going to be a horrible day'.  But it wasn't.  It was just a paper cut - not a day altering, mood altering thing.  Just a paper cut.

First step in not spiraling to dark places is just reminding myself that things aren't as bad as they seem most of the time.

Constructing

Hump day is a memory (already).

Thank you to my wonderful husband who made a Rite-Aid pity run last night and procured supplies for the maladies among-st us.  The cold he and H. have had for a week hit me this week.  Tuesday was Cheese Grater throat day.  Yesterday was Scratchy Itchy throat day.

This morning is just I Feel Like Crap But I'm Going to Work Anyway day. Which followed You Are Not Going to Sleep Much at All night.

We have a fleet of people flying up for a big construction meeting and I can't miss it. Though every fiber in my body is begging me TO miss it.  I won't.

H. is also under the weather and J. picked up Nyquil for him.  I hope he is OK 'cuz we kept telling him to 'take it early and go to bed'.  He is working today and a 4AM start time after a Nyquil night could be bad.  Equipment + Nyquil = Recipe for Disaster.

Once a Mom, always a Mom.

On the weather front - it poured (POURED) rain here yesterday repeatedly.  The storm drains on our district office site were quickly overwhelmed.  Eventually, the man hole covers 'gurgled' off and water was geysering UP from the storm drains and back onto our campus. Combined with the deluge, we were quickly looking at 3 feet of standing water.  When the City trucks came to assist, the back of the truck was at water level and his tail pipe was submerged.  It was really something -

It made us all miss our former boss 'cuz the same thing happened four years ago on the night he signed his contract.  That board meeting is one for the memory books 'cuz that time, the water was so high, it actually covered the ramps of some of our buildings and was 'lapping' at the entry level to our buildings.

Memories....like the corners of my mind......

The storm also caused a power failure and when I left last night, my computer was not able to 'power up'.  I called the help desk and left it running a recovery program - so I am praying it actually recovered.  The 'big report' that I worked on continually yesterday would be horrific to lose.

And if it's lost, I am going to lose it.  Guaranteed.

Sucks(tion)

That's a play on words sort of....'cuz it's Monday and that sucks.

And on a whim, we decided to get the carpets cleaned and they were able to come now.  Really.  They wanted to come Saturday (we called Friday early afternoon) but J. knew that the one day I was semi-home would be a bad day to have guys with huge, noisy equipment roaming around our home.  So it's today.

I feel so bad for J. 'cuz there's a crap-load of stuff to do around here before their 11AM arrival.

So it sucks that it's Monday but I feel a slightly (and somewhat guiltily) relieved that I get to escape to work.  It will all be worth it in the end - but oh my.  So much work.

B. called last night and said he thinks he can come home a week earlier than he planned...so we'll see.  Will be lovely to have him home for however long he can be home.  He's planning to take friends camping - in the winter.  I get the feeling that he's all gung-ho about it while his friends are less than.

I woke up with a start 'cuz I realized I have yet another huge thing 'due' soon so it's early to work for me today.  I blocked my entire week for my 'big report' and truly may close the door just to have quiet.  Working yesterday was lovely 'cuz it was so quiet.

I've tried three rounds of bread starter and still can't get it to 'foam and bubble'.  For the second time, I'm attempting to make a yeast-less bread when the house is clearly cold-ish and even with the mechanical proof box, it's hard.  It's also hard to judge 'lukewarm'.  You scald the milk and then let it cool to lukewarm.  Too cool and the bacterium in the corn meal won't multiply.  Too hot and you kill the bacterium.  It's like a mad science project in process.  I'm going to keep trying, though - but will wait until the weekend now 'cuz if by some miracle I get starter #1 to bloom, I need to be around for starter #2 (yes, this bread is torture - but worth it).

H. just came downstairs - he has a really bad cold.  I don't think it helps that he has a virtual 'apartment' in the backyard and he hangs out there more often than not.  Translation:  he's smoking (cigarettes) quite a bit and he can't do that in the house.  I think he thinks that if he stays sick enough, I will at some point relent and say 'OK, you can smoke in the house'.  But I won't.  Ever.  He gets pissy when I point out that his cough is likely more a result of smoking combined with cold weather - but it's the truth.  He's in for a long winter.

If we text him to ask 'where are you?', he answers 'The Steakhouse'.  Translation:  Outback. Get it?  LOL......

He said 'oh, are you taking a day off today'?  Huh?  I said 'no, it's 5:30AM - I'm going in early but not THAT early'.  

Box Fermentation

Remember many moons ago when I spent an entire vacation attempting to make Salt Rising Bread?  It was a failure - 'cuz it's near impossible to find a place where a nice 95 degree temp is consistently maintained.  Salt Rising Bread has no yeast.  It relies on natural fermentation to get a 'slight rise'.  It is dense and delicious and one of the most amazing breads for toast you will ever eat.

It is incredibly hard to make and it is becoming a lost art.  It's the fermentation of the starter that makes it such a challenge.  So I'm trying something new.

Behold -

This is a bread proof box.  It is electric and will maintain a constant temp.  

I have a batch of Starter # 1 in their now that will hopefully be a bubbly, fermenting mess in 8-12 hours thanks to this new gadget.

If all goes well, we'll be noshing on a loaf of bread by tomorrow evening.  

There are still a gazillion things that could go wrong - but at least with this constant temperature box, I stand a chance.  

I'll keep you posted - 

Wintery

Though sunny and bright, it's getting cold.  Craving central heat but trying to make do.  Added a blanket at the bottom of the bed - folded into four layers to warm my feet.  Wishing it was the early 1900's and I had one of those feet warmer things fresh out of the fire 'cuz when my feet are cold, it takes forever to warm up.

I spent the day running errands - finally returned the six umbrellas left from the work Halloween project.  Respent those funds on groceries.  Also did the Operation Christmas Child annual shopping trip and was relieved to find really neat things at Target this year.  I'm not sure we can get it all in the boxes but we'll try and can always return stuff if we over-planned. I always try to get a few little 'toy-like' things (this year includes slide whistles, foam airplanes, crayons, pads of paper, pencils and a sharpener, small jigsaw puzzles, jelly beans in a very small box, gum, toothbrush and toothpaste.  Just realized I forgot hair combs - I'll get those tomorrow).   I love this annual event and look forward to the shopping every year - and I'm equally as glad that it's done and off my list.

It's the time of year for a lot of lists.  You?

B. is back at Ft. Bliss and has been assigned to the recon unit - that's the group that heads out ahead of troops and makes sure everything's set up correctly.  No, Ft. Bragg's adventure didn't work out quite as planned - but that's OK.  We are firmly confident that journey worked out exactly as it's supposed to - though that may not have been what B. would have preferred.  As I have been in the past, I'm more impressed than ever with his resilience and his stick-to-it-ness and he's already planning his next adventure.  It's all good.  Really.  Less than 50% of those that tried out made it - so he's in good company - and trying is the biggest lesson to learn. You have to try.  So he will continue to.

I had a hair appointment in Modesto this afternoon - but I think I'm coming to terms with not being able to spend 3-4 hours every five weeks to get something simple like a haircut. Back to local salons - somewhere.  I love my stylist to bits but my time on weekends is just incredibly precious to me - and I just plain don't want to spend time driving 45 minutes or more each way for a 30 minute haircut.  I'll send her a nice card with a gift card as a holiday gift and let her know that I just can't make the trip there every month.  My good intentions are outweighed by life's business - and ultimately, I choose time with my family and myself.

Didn't I write a week or so ago about Maple Bread?  Sourdough bread cooked in real maple syrup and butter until the sugar is just on the 'crazy side' of caramelized?  J. kindly made it for me for breakfast this morning - and then comes in and says 'I'm going to call that New England Toast if there's no other name for it'.  Huh?  There is another name for it - the name the recipe uses and the name I called it when I asked you to make it for me.  Scratching my head sometimes at his bursts of creativity....

Green Light Update

He was on again for a split second....so now I'm torturing myself with thoughts like:

Maybe his phone's been stolen and someone is trying to figure out how to use it?

Maybe he's injured and out in the wild, praying for a signal, hoping for a way to summon help?

Maybe he's hoping for a message from us only we aren't messaging him 'cuz we think he has no access to his phone - only he apparently clearly does - unless it's not him  - but still, should I message him so he'll know we're still thinking about him constantly?

Maybe he's at the airport on his way back to El Paso having not finished the training and he's not wanting to tell us that so he tries to sneak on the phone when we're not looking - 'cuz the green light disappears within nano seconds of me popping back on Facebook.

My poor kids.  Their mother is often a nut job surrounding their activities.

On a good note:  thanks to Chase for promptly refunding the over payment.  Yep, I did it again - only instead of double paying the mortgage, I double paid our credit card bill.  Had it been our usual monthly bill of a few hundred dollars, I would have just let it go and this month would be paid for already...but no.  I double paid the bill with my recent MRI on it so that's a HUGE amount to have as a credit balance.  It would have taken many, many months to 'use' that amount so I am glad they quickly refunded.  There's less than a 24 hour period where your recently posted online payment doesn't show as paid - and I hit that window and thought I hadn't set it up - so I paid it again.  Bugger.  Thanks, Chase.

Alright - it's 6AM and I haven't yet headed to the shower.  You can kill a massive amount of time on the web...and stalking your son on Facebook.

Green Light

Started the day very early (awakened at 3:30AM during a hot flash of ginormous proportion) and it felt like a good idea to just stay awake.  Doing that enabled me to start the day with a Facebook chat with my cousin (always a treat!).  Then out to watch the Space Station overhead.  Fascinates me always.  Though staring up into the sky makes me woozy.  Tilting my head back...it's an inner ear thing.  I'm pretty adept at spotting the station but have been known to stare at a star and convince myself it's moving...but I found it.  It moves so quickly....

Three minutes ago, my son was on Facebook - his instant message 'chat' button green for a split second.  Almost as if he knew that his Mom had 'seen' him and was about to message him, he signed off.  So now his phone starts the count down again to when he's last online until eventually, it will go dark.  I hope he's OK...he's on the downhill side now.  Still, I worry and seeing him for a minute just has my heart and mind racing.

Only a couple more days.

I was toying with the idea of taking Friday off - more working at home and calling it a day off - but it turns out that the two other senior district admin folks are both heading to Southern California for the weekend so I'm 'in charge' on Friday.  Fingers crossed nothing goes wrong that day.  I've got plenty to do so it's fine.

Yesterday flew by - which is miraculous considering it was a very long day.  Productive; good meetings and a great board meeting.  Decisions made and now we move forward on setting up a temporary campus for our middle school which begins constructions in March and will be 'brand new' by the 15-16 school year.  Lots of work ahead but we'll get there.

Today's agenda is a couple meetings; confirming plans with my boss; getting things moving ahead.  Tomorrow, I host a monthly meeting and need to figure out what I'm going to serve 15 people for breakfast.  I had grand plans to bake tonight - but I'm leaning towards heading to the Bagel Cafe in the early morning and getting fresh bagels.  It's more expensive but oh well.

I'm Still Standing

Channeling Elton this morning....

Note to hubby:  please (pleeeeeaaaasseee) fix the timer on the sprinklers so they come on at 6AM. The time change has them coming on at 5 which is about the time I head downstairs lately.  There is nothing harder than being barely awake and trying to navigate a potty-dancing puppy (she's always a puppy to me) through the house and out front.  That lawn is also soaked (as is the walkway down the house to the driveway) but at least the sprinklers are off.  I had to use a leash 'cuz I was a nervous wreck she was going to bolt after a dog or a cat - or the wind.

My feet are wet and she still hasn't finished all her 'business' - but I've done what I can.  She won't go out again - so I'm officially declaring her morning ablutions complete, whether they are or aren't.

I planned to get up early enough to be at my desk by 6AM - but it's a board meeting day today so why make a long day incredibly long?  I'm aiming for 7 which will still mean a 13 hour day.  That's hard after three days of more off than on.

A huge thank you to my wonderful cousin S. who sent me a sweet note of encouragement and support within minutes of my last post.  I sure wish we lived closer so we could have these conversations in person - and maybe someday, we will!  Thanks so much, S. .  You warmed my heart when it needed warming -

Finding joy in small things this morning - it's already Tuesday - tomorrow will (already) be hump day and then it's a downhill slide to the weekend.  Not a weekend of no work but at least two days of no alarm which is lovely. Though thankfully this morning, I woke up early on my own - before the alarm.

Off to get dressed.  I forgot to get clothes for J. to iron for me (isn't he a dream?  Even better than a dream 'cuz he will iron for me if I get clothes downstairs before I go to sleep) so I have to navigate my closet and figure out what to wear.

A Tuesday that feels like a Monday.  But Friday's a coming!  Can't wait to hear from our boy!

Already? All Ready?

Weekends sure fly by, don't they?  Wow.  It's already Monday evening (feels like Sunday, doesn't it?  If it doesn't, it's probably 'cuz you're not working so the days are all the same to you.  Lucky!).  The only thing making that fact palatable is that we're one day closer to hearing from B. .  Three weeks is a really, really long time to go without talking to him.  I'm pretty sure it's far longer than any Basic Training communication gap - at least it sure feels that way.  Three weeks of absolutely zero interaction is really hard.  Both J. and I are thinking of him constantly - watching for any sign of life on Facebook (none - his phone is 'dark' as it has been for 2 weeks and three days).  The only indication he's still alive is that he's gone to the PX at Ft. Bragg a couple times - so I know he's OK. Probably buying blister stuff or something.

It will only be a few more days - I'm on pins and needles.  I think he said that if he makes it to week three, it's 'downhill' from there - so I hope this week is easier than others.  Undoubtedly none of it has been easy.  He likes challenges and they are good for him.

Still, I held out hope they'd give them a call home for Veteran's Day - but no.

I worked today and spent some of that just sitting at my desk (went in to the office) attempting to avoid panic.  Kept reminding myself to breath.  Just breath.  When the state of California turns education funding on it's ear - truly revolutionary and yet still so full of holes and issues and problems - they really do a good job complicating everything twenty fold.  Yikes.  I no sooner thought I'd figured it all out then I'd see something else that made me wonder - and that would lead to more minutes of reminding myself to breath.  At one point, every time I blinked, I saw bright red. That worried me a bit 'cuz I don't know why that was happening - I think it was just tired eyes 'cuz I took a break from the spreadsheets and data littered all over my desk and the red disappeared.

Though seeing red may be the most appropriate, truthful reaction I could possibly have.

We've had so many years of uncertainty - and to continue to need to deliver that same message still/yet again/seemingly endlessly - is just so hard.  There are just so many moving parts right now - some State issues/factors; some distinctly related to just our district; some that are just still unknown as the State hasn't issued guidance on huge chunks of the new funding and reporting about how those funds are used - that it's impossible to feel or react optimistically to any of it.  And that just discourages me so much.  As a CBO and as a person.  We haven't had ongoing raises since 2006-07. And while much looks 'better', it's not so great that it's a cartwheel turning, break out the champagne kind of thing.

And we have a new Superintendent and it's all new to him - true, it's all new to me and every other CBO and Sup in the state at the moment - but education funding is all new to him and that adds complexity.  It's hard to communicate hugely complex things that are stunningly new and vague to someone who is brand new to all of it.  Old vs. new doesn't mean anything to him - so I have to communicate both.

We will muddle through.  And I will muddle through.

When a CBO friend from another district returned my email question with a call, she shared how overwhelmed and stressed she is.  And I bit my tongue 'cuz I will always listen and support my peers as they do me when I'm panicking and worried.  It happens.  And having friends is what helps get you through those scary, hard days.  But this friend manages (truly, literally - this is not an exaggeration in any way) 20% of what I'm responsible for.  She is a CBO - but she doesn't manage Food Services or Transportation or Facilities or Construction or Maintenance and Operations or Technology.  None of that.  She manages strictly Business (which I also manage) - budget, accounts payable, payroll, accounts receivable.  That's it.  So biting my tongue whilst being supportive of her 'moment' was incredibly hard.

I hung up the phone and closed my eyes and took many deep breaths just to get through it.  I should have an MOT director (for the Maintenance, Operations & Transportation stuff) but I don't and won't for some time - budget reduction that we don't think we can afford to put back.  I have an interim Food Service director - no management experience and it's all learning for her regarding the funding for Food Service, etc. .  There is literally not enough of me to go around.  Spread thin doesn't even begin to describe it lately.

I exist therefore I persist.

Waiting

The house phone rang at 8:50ish last night and my heart sort of jumped.  Already upstairs, I awaited someone coming up the stairs to tell me it was B. .  It wasn't.  I know that's really a good thing - a call mid-week half way through his selection process time frame would probably mean something hadn't gone well.  Still, I hope.  Anytime the house phone rings - I feel like Downton Abbey calling it a house phone but it so rarely rings these days that I have to clarify which phone.  Cell phones are far more used than our land line - my heart sort of hopes.  Then it quickly doesn't.  Then it does again.

We will hear from him a week from tomorrow for sure and hopefully it will be good news.  So we wait.  I'm not great at waiting.

We had our first ever district wide Spelling Bee yesterday and it was so much fun.  I got to be a judge which felt stressful - but I reminded myself that it was much harder on the spellers than on any of us judges.  We had a wonderful time and are already looking forward to next year!  The words were really hard and I felt relieved to have the list in front of me 'cuz I would have struggled with spelling some of the words selected.

Today is a no meeting day where I will plow through a bunch of board prep stuff.  Tomorrow is more board prep and our (now) regularly scheduled 4 hour construction meeting.  1-4:30ish every Friday afternoon.  While the timing of a 'committed meeting' isn't great, it's the only time we could all wedge in and it is time well spent.  Sort of like church - I never want to go but I always feel better after getting there.  Only unlike church where no one but me makes the decision - the meeting isn't really optional.  Though I often wish it was.  I am always glad I went and I learn something new about the plans each week.  Time well spent...but the minute the meeting is over, I am out the door.  We are really getting into the details of the build and it's going to be a lot of fun watching all our hard work be constructed next year.

With an upcoming 3-day weekend to look forward to - and the excuses of not working Saturday 'cuz I'm lunching with a friend in Lodi who I haven't seen in over a year and not working Sunday 'cuz our finance system is down that day for it's monthly maintenance - I look forward to three 'no alarm' days.  And just time chillaxing with my peeps.

Saving Daylight?

Yesterday was the longest Monday in history.  No, nothing happened to make it so.  It was a good day - productive, meeting free.  I got a HUGE amount done and felt great about that - made up for not working on Sunday.  But the day dragged by.  Everyone in my office felt the same - we'd look at the clock and be hugely disappointed that it wasn't later since we thought it would be.  Maybe it's the time change?  It felt like forever and I left on the dot of an 8 hour day 'cuz it was that kind of day - watching the clock and waiting for it to be over.

Upon arriving home, I changed into workout clothes and J. and I went to the gym.  For him, this was his third workout of the day - he took his usual long morning walk; then a quicker walk with the dog right before I got home.  He accompanied me 'cuz neither of us have set foot in the gym (we've been paying for a membership forever - we actually joined when we first moved to Tracy 'cuz the kids went to a daycare program there for awhile and it was cheaper if we were members.  We stopped that for awhile when the 'Olympic size pool' they promised in their membership materials wasn't built after a few years.  Eventually, they did remodel - and we haven't been in since that remodel.  B. was going at least once a day when he lived here and H. still goes now and then..) since it was remodeled a few years ago and we wanted to take a tour together.

I wanted to try something like a 'tread climber' - rumored to be easier on your joints while still burning more calories than walking.  We did treadmill and tread climber for long enough for me to break out a sweat.  I made J. promise that he wouldn't comment on how long I did (or didn't) make it - 'cuz my goal was:  get there and move for as long as I felt like it.  So I did.  Tonight, I will bring ear buds so I can hook in to the audio and watch some TV while I workout.  Being less bored should help.  We are going to try to schedule time with a trainer to show us the machines, etc. .  There's a 29 minute 'circuit training' area with all kinds of machines and 29 minutes seems do-able.  Doing that and some aerobics every other day (at least) would do me a world of good.

I'm not too sore this morning and the only bad thing is that I woke up with a hugely bad raging headache.  I am dehydrated - not because of the work out.  I just didn't drink my usual one or two glasses of water in the evening and I am paying for that now.  Liquid in the form of coffee is helping a bit and I will remember to grab water before heading to the gym tonight.  That combined with drinking a glass of water with dinner tonight will help.

What motivated me suddenly?  I have no idea except to say that I saw an ad for the Tread Climber and looked at buying one online.  And I stopped myself 'cuz really?  We have practically an entire gym of 'stuff' in this house that is seldom used.  And we pay $100 for a gym membership that is used sporadically - so I'd rather start getting the value for the gym membership and not add more junk to the house.  The gym is about 5 minutes from our house so it's easy to get to.  And if I start running into too many people I know, there's another location we can go to that's 'down town'.  A little further but likely far less populated.  I don't want to cancel the gym 'cuz B. will go every single day he's home.  And H. was going pretty often and may start again.  In the mean time, it will be something J. and I can do together.  A sweaty date night a few times a week.  :-)

J. said he planned to be up at 6 this morning 'cuz he's playing golf.  Shortly after, he remembered that the cleaning crew comes today and he will need time to do his usual 'pick up; tidy up' before they get here.  He says 'I'll get up at 6'.  I said 'that's the same time you said you'd get up when you weren't remembering the cleaning crew was coming.  How will that work?'.  So he's up at 5:45.  I will help.  I got up at 4:45 this morning (earliest I've been up in ages) so I have time.

I hope today goes slightly more quickly than yesterday.  I have board prep to keep me busy and a couple meetings to break up the day.

Extra Time!

Feel like we've made such great use of the extra hour today!  Things we've done include:

• Cleaned the refrigerator out quite a bit.  It's still jammed full but it's cleaner.  
• We went to the UPS store yesterday to get some documents notarized [there are a lot of documents to sign and notarize when you are the spouse of someone retiring] and decided to run into Savemart to pick up some 1/2 and 1/2 for cream of potato/leek soup. They were having a $5 meat sale - packaged meats usually $6-9 on sale for $5 each.  So we stocked up on ground turkey, some pork ribs and thin sliced steaks....which filled up the fridge pretty darn quickly.  Hence the cleaning needed today 'cuz we can't fit milk in.
• Made maple bread with cream cheese for breakfast.  I got the recipe of the Heartland Table show and holy cow!  it is sinfully delicious.  While it's sweet and satisfying, it really has only 1/4 c. of maple syrup and butter - so reasonably low sugar.
• H. has suddenly taken an interest in things he's never known about - he found the 'real maple' syrup in the fridge and thinks it's 'amazing'.  And he ate most of the honey walnut prawns we had in our Chinese Food order for dinner last night.  He's never even considered eating prawns - but honey walnut are too delicious to resist, I guess.  
• We bought more maple syrup (real) since we're sort of obsessed with the maple bread - but we're hiding it.  H. is on a waffle kick - three nights last week - and we're not upgrading his syrup to the real thing.  No way.  
• Thanks to Nespresso for the Chinese dinner last night - I won a $50 gift card participating in their survey.  That Am Ex gift card combined with the $7.15 we got back from the title company from our mortgage closing paid for dinner last night - delicious!
• I ground at least 2 pounds of coffee - restocking us for a couple weeks.  We store the freshly ground coffee in our air-tight, vacuum sealed coffee canisters.  It's something we don't do often 'cuz it's noisy - it will wake people up in the morning and/or makes the TV in the family room un-hearable - so I usually do it in batches when we're down to the dregs and nobody will be bothered by the noise.  This morning's leisurely multiple cups brought us to the brink of 'no coffee for morning'.  Hence the grinding marathon.
• While coffee grinding, I tidied the kitchen.  Cleaning counters. Gathering up all the dish towels and (with J.'s help) got a load of towels going.  
• Washed all the blankets that go on my bed - I just don't like putting them on the bed until I make sure they're clean.
• My husband strongly encouraged me to go get a flu shot with him - so I did.  While there, I also got the shingles vaccine.  J.'s already had that vaccine - but I need it.  My brother-in-law B. had shingles recently and it was horrible for him - so I want to do whatever I can to prevent that malady from entering my life.
• Went to our local liquor store (Pete's) to cash in lottery scratchers.  I'm superstitious and Pete's is 'my place'.  The brothers that own the place are super nice and while there is certainly a lot of diversity in their shop, I feel safe and comfortable.  I always cash in tickets for more tickets 'cuz I feel like I will win there, someday.  Here's hoping.
• While at Pete's, I bought a six pack of Firestone DBA 'cuz it's Sunday and I want to unwind a bit before heading into another busy week.  It's delicious.  When I asked the guy at the liquor store if he had that beer, he directed me to a case where they have Firestone limited edition ales. They were close to $17 each (large bottle in a gift box) and while I didn't get that tonight (opted for the $7.99 six pack of just 'regular' DBA), I plan to go back and try the limited edition soon!
• Went to Raley's for a few things - and was shocked and dismayed to hear "Little Drummer Boy" playing on the Muzak at the store.  Really?  It's just too soon for Christmas carols, even for me - and y'all know I'm a Christmas maniac.
• Enjoyed hearing H. talk about his job.  He wears a headset with a mic and talks to the computer.  Her name is Jennifer.  Together, they put orders together on pallets - gathering and shrink wrapping as they go.  When the order is 'picked' and done, they then take it to a truck bay door to load on a truck.  It's all computerized and pretty darn amazing.  Jennifer knows exactly how long it should take H. to do every single step of the process - based on the products needed, the location of the products and the steps H. will have to take to complete the order.  He hit 50% productivity today - two weeks ahead of schedule.  And this week, two guys were walking by and said 'nice work'.  Then, one came back and asked H. for his name and said 'that's one of the best pallets I've ever seen'.  SCORE!  for H.  He loves doing this kind of work.  He worked 7 hours today (his longest shift yet) and he said the day just flew by.
• It's approaching 6PM - it was getting dark at 4:30 (one bad thing about the time change) and I'm pleasantly full (OH - also got drip beef sandwiches in the crock pot earlier today) - delicious! Too many pepperocinis for me but the 'boys' loved them.  I had a lovely sandwich - I just skipped the au jus 'cuz it was too spicy for me.  I'm also a teeny bit pleasantly buzzed after two beers - so early to bed for me!

It's been a lovely weekend and even working yesterday was time well spent - productive and enjoyed the quiet and lack of interruptions.