Paper Cut

Survived the mind-numbing seven hour construction meeting.  Me and four men in a conference room most of the day (we did finally take a lunch just after 1PM when my boss looked at me and said 'Lunch'? .  Followed quickly by 'she needs to eat so let's go'). I like that he's starting to know me well enough to know when sustenance is required.  I didn't even have to nod or verbalize anything - one look and he knew it was time to eat.

It was an excellent meeting and we are making such amazing progress but the list continues to grow.  Yesterday's revelation (towards the very end of the meeting) was confirmation of something I've been worried about for a very long time:  we are probably going to have to dig an additional well on the school campus we are modernizing.  "Modernizing", you say "but you have to dig a well?".  Yes.  The school is outside the city limits and is not on city water or sewer.  And the fire codes require that we have capacity to sprinkle the buildings for an hour - which necessitates a 500,000 gallon water tank on the property (also new).  And to constantly cycle and fill that tank requires more water pressure capacity than our existing two wells can provide.

Crap.  That's another $100K - $200K in expense on a project that is already perilously close to not being do-able within the confines of the budget.

Discovering this fact - that I have long been vocal about - at the end of a meeting when we are within a few months of breaking ground  - is not a great thing.  Sometimes I feel like it's a gender thing - they listen to me but they don't actually hear what I'm saying -

Oh well.  Pun not intended but bringing a smile to my face.  It will all work out.

I should be off all next week - historically I am.  But I think I will be working at least part of Monday and Tuesday just to keep progressing on the 'huge report'.  I started so early - really, really early - and thought I was 'ahead' but in the end, it will be a mad dash.  It always is.

There's been some discourse in the ranks this week and I struggle with so much anxiety about stupid stuff.  Fairly well versed in tamping down panic over things I can't control - and yet. Seemingly equally well versed in making my self bonkers about things periodically.  Feel so stupid when I let my head create a mountain out of nothing - but yet, I keep doing that.

We have tickets to ABBA Mania at the Gallo Center tonight and I know if I can stay vertical that long, I will enjoy the show.  Next Tuesday, we are going to San Francisco to see Amaluna - a new Cirque de Soleil show.  It's at AT&T park (outside?) so that should be interesting.  Layers.  Lots of layers.

Part of this weekend will be spent locating a small turkey.  We're hoping to find a 10 pounder but likely in the low teens.

And I'm trying the bread starter again.  And again....probably. No success yet.  But I'm not giving up.  I think I need to consider also giving it a try in the Spring or Summer when it's not freezing.  I seem to get in the 'let's try this again mode' in the cold and bluster of Winter...making the 'keep starter warm' part of the process a huge challenge, even with the new gadget.

I realized I didn't explain the reason for the title:  before the construction meeting, in the very brief time I had available, I handed off a ton of stuff to my assistant.  As I was re-grouping a stack of stuff, I got a very nasty paper cut on the palm of my hand.  About an inch long and it was from a file folder!  Hurts like a son-of-a-gun and is in a very bad place so it keeps reopening.  OUCH!!

My first reaction was 'it's going to be a horrible day'.  But it wasn't.  It was just a paper cut - not a day altering, mood altering thing.  Just a paper cut.

First step in not spiraling to dark places is just reminding myself that things aren't as bad as they seem most of the time.