Windfall Elimination

J. headed to Modesto today to see H. .  We were hoping to spend time with him and M. (his friend) but she can't go today.  (Her out patient is through Kaiser and it's almost daily for 6+ hours a day!  That's the 'intensive' in IOP (Intensive Out Patient).)  We do hope to spend time with them soon.

H. was hoping to have lunch with us today and needed to since he rode with J. on Friday and left his wallet in the car.  (Grrr.  Seriously.  The kid needs to figure that out 'cuz he leaves his wallet in cars all the time).  So J. trekked to Modesto - with a box of cereal, a blanket, two pillow slips and H.'s wallet with him. 

I've continued working in the garage - the recycle bin is full to the brim and so is trash.  I finally drained the case of Coors cans and rinsed and added them to our soda can recycle trash can.  (Add: take cans/bottles to recycling to J.'s to do list this week.  Poor guy.  His list is HUGE this week).  B. bought them a couple years ago and there's no way I will drink Coors.  So they are now another thing out of the garage!!  Woo hoo!

I got an email alert about jobs posted for the Carson City School District - and there's a Business job open.  If only we were a year from now - I'd be applying for sure!  (Well, maybe.).  I'd actually eliminated that school district from my list of possible employers because on their website, they state that the district does not contribute to Social Security for ANY job - and I worried I would run in to an issue with claiming Social Security when the time comes?  There's a Windfall Elimination Provision which affects people who've worked in jobs where social security is paid into by employer and employee and jobs where social security isn't paid into.  Teachers in our State typically do not pay Social Security - so if they worked previously in jobs that paid into it, their Social Security amount will be affected by the earnings in years they didn't pay in.  It's complicated - and I've been worried about it since discovering our soon-to-be local school district doesn't pay into Social Security. 

I eliminated that worry today when I went to the Social Security website and read about it.  Because I have 30+ years of 'substantial earnings', I will never be affected by the Windfall Elimination Provision!  The amount considered 'substantial' is defined by year (and charted on the SS website) and I've got more than 30 years so NO ISSUE.  EVER!  Wow, that is such a relief.  I could work for the district and bring home 6.2% more than I did in California PLUS pay no State tax on those earnings as well! 

If we end up feeling like we need some financial 'boost' and/or I'm feeling not ready to not work, I have that employer as an option - and so does J. .  We could both substitute teach (for example) - picking the days we say yes or no and also can base that on the grade level. It just creates more options and I like feeling like we have plenty of options. 

Pretty sure the odds are in favor of 'never working again' but I appreciate having information that makes working part-time feasible if I decide to.

I'm going to focus on my desk for awhile.  It's crazily a mess and I need to reign it in a bit. 

Feeling Accomplished!

Today's Victories:

10+ years of tax returns ready to shred.

Huge bag and two boxes of recycling we can't fit in the bin yet.  I love filling it up every other week as we make steady progress on getting stuff sorted out before the move.

3 boxes of books to be donated to the library.

2 boxes of books to be donated to my friend's daughter who is collecting children's books for kids in Foster care.

4 basketballs, 4 sets of tire cables/chains (no idea why we have so many), duffle bags, backpacks, linens, comforters, roller skates, tennis rackets, baseball gloves, some ceramic planters and 4 solar light globes ready to donate.

Recycle bin full of miscellaneous plastics, etc. .

Trash bin pretty full with junk we tossed.

To Do:

Trip to library to donate the books.  Too bad we found out they don't accept vinyl records?  'cuz we have a couple hundred or so to get rid of.

J. will make a trip to Rasputin Records in Modesto which will offer him $10 for the albums.  We'll take whatever they offer at this point 'cuz we need to get them out of the house.

Trip to donation - likely the one in Tracy.  I'm itching to play slots so want to head to Jackson?  But it's likely we will be traveling to CC next month so I'm saving my fun $ for that trip.

Wait for trash and recycle pickup on Wednesday morning so we can do it again next weekend.

Take shred stuff to Fed Ex store and pay 99 cents a pound to get it all shredded.  Why store it until the city has another free event?  Out, damn shred.  OUT!

Call Salvation Army to arrange for donated furniture pickup.  Items include:  queen size bed; trundle bed; armoire, dresser, TV stand, heavy standing mirror, two shelf 'towers', a couple glass door display cases.

Talk to B. about his drums.  They are in the rafters and in the garage and we need to make some decisions about what to do with them.  We can and will move them for him if he wants...but he's thought about selling them so we'll see what he thinks.

Next Cull: 

CD's, DVDs and VHS tapes.

Kitchen drawers cleaned out.

Debating about possibly selling most of my Cow Parade figurines.  Most of the boxes for them are up in the rafters of the garage.  I like them but I don't love them anymore - so they might not make the list to transport to CC.


We both felt accomplished - we managed some inertia and got some things out of the garage.  The shelving these items were stored on are plastic and they are now bowed from the weight.  We will be breaking them down and recycling them over the next six weeks or so - our recycle pick up is every other week.

It's just after 5PM and I feel like I desperately need a nap.  I'll power through.  My desk is a wreck and I really need to tackle it a bit.

I'm going to the office for a few hours tomorrow - but will continue to make progress around the homestead.  Might be able to come up with another box or two of books to donate.  And we have some boxes of books we can move out to the garage to move with us - I started to put them 'away' - they were in the kids' room when they moved here and they took all the shelves down - but it seemed silly to put them away only to pack them up again in 12 months - so we're going to just label them 'keep - books - move to CC' and start stacking stuff up in the corner we are cleaning out.  Then we'll have an area dedicated to gathering the things we can start moving to storage in CC in Spring.

This is really happening.  I feel like I have to pinch myself - but it is really happening!

Berthing Issues

We logged on to our NCL account last night to look at excursions and dream about our next cruise and discovered that due to a berthing issue in Mazatlan, our cruise itinerary has changed.  No more Puerto Vallarta - goodbye, Las Caletas - instead we will be in Mazatlan and Cabo.  It's OK...will still be an outstanding cruise - but I am sad about missing Las Caletas.  It's magical and I'd really been looking forward to it.

But my work screen saver is a picture I took sailing around Cabo and that was a very fun day as well...so we'll book another sail trip and enjoy the sun and surf via sail boat instead of the beach.

Yesterday, I happened to glance out my office window at just the right time to see someone who looked very much like J. entering the District Office grounds yesterday - I grabbed my keys and raced outside and there was H. standing by the locked gate.  He had to be in Tracy yesterday for a dentist appointment and he wanted to surprise me by stopping by.

I was less than excited about the surprise and not at all thrilled about H. being at my office.  Many people know the situation - there was no way I could get through all that happened with no one at work knowing what was happening - and I really don't want (even the new) H. hanging out at my work.

I emailed J. separately to say all of the above and he agreed and said that he was pretty sure I would feel that way but H. wanted to surprise me.  My suggestion is next time that happens, have him surprise me by meeting me at McDonald's or Starbucks - or even at the house.

H. was at the house for a bit - gathered up some clothes, his drones, looked for his heavy jacket and got a blanket for his bed.  It felt strange having him here - I felt uneasy the entire time.  But that's probably just the norm - I feel uneasy with him pretty much all the time.

I wonder if that will ever change and I shared those feelings with a friend and he said 'rebuilding trust takes a very long time - you know that because you've been through it before with this son - so be patient with yourself.  It will happen'.

I hope he's right.  He's one of the wisest people I know and a dear friend who has always cared about our family - and I'm grateful for his counsel.

My heart feels really sad to be feeling that way towards H. - but it's hard to reconcile everything that happened with him (and her).  I wish I could just magically erase a lot of hard memories - but I can't.  Just have to keep moving forward - and feel very ready for a fresh start in Nevada.  It sounds so bad to say that?  But really, truly - we are ready. 

I was supposed to trek to Hayward this morning for a counseling session but I cancelled instead.  I'm in need of a no commitment day and today is that day for the next couple weeks.

I just reviewed our budget again to be sure we are on the right track with the CC house.  Heading into being 'both retired' and nearly doubling our monthly outflow for our house seems counter-intuitive for a retirement plan - but once again, I feel confident we can manage.

We received the HOA documents yesterday and wow - there are a lot of rules and regulations we will have to follow - including some very specific landscaping guidelines that have me a bit flummoxed.  My idea of planting a back yard full of shrubs and wildflowers is not happening because we are required to 'group' plant of same color and cluster them - since our back yard will be visible from the golf course.  I get it - trying to maintain the right 'look' is important - but we'll have to regroup around the yards.  We get to do both, it turns out.  So we'll have a lot to plan and have only six months to do all of it before we risk being fined for not doing it.

It's been a long time since we've had to deal with HOA and I'm sure hoping this isn't going to be a PITA.  I figure if it is, we'll sell and move somewhere else, right?  (Not likely that will happen but...you never know).

We are hoping to get up to CC in late September to meet with the financing people.  We've submitted our floor plan idea - including our wish list items - and maybe they will be ready to sit down and talk it through by then?  It's a month away so we'll see.

Looking forward to a quiet day of piddling around the homestead.  I'm planning to go into the office for a few hours tomorrow - and then will head into Labor Day weekend in full tilt mode.  I'm pretty much 'done' with year end - ahead of schedule - but there are a lot of little pieces to wrap up. 

We interview for my assistant position this week - fingers crossed we find someone. 

Locals

I'm so looking forward to the day when I will be 'a local'.  Someone who is at a casino because they live very near vs. me as a current patron, driving hours to get there.  I am going to absolutely love being able to enjoy slots and only have to drive 1/2 hour to get to Reno - or 4 minutes to a casino in CC. 

(NOTE:  Do not worry.  We will be budgeting the same as always.  I promise.). 

I've played at Atlantis enough that I now recognize people. 

Last trip, I played (again) with Michael.  He works at a casino in Sparks.  The first time I sat next to him, he explained that he doesn't play where he works because 'I might have an outburst and say the wrong thing and I don't want to get in trouble with my job'.  He's probably in his early to mid 60's or so?  He plays max bet always - and he wins a lot, usually.  I watched him win around $2,000 in June and then played next to him again in July - and when he started chatting again, he realized that we'd played together before.  In June, he asked a slot attendant to go cash in his (many) winning tickets - but in July, he asked me to watch his machine, which I did happily.  He is a quirky kind of guy but very nice and fun.  He plays 'long haul' slots - like me - where he stays at a machine for a long time and keeps playing.  He's fun and I'm looking forward to seeing him again next time I play up there.

There's also a mysterious lady that plays a lot - I've seen her virtually every time I've gone to Atlantis.  She plays smaller wagers but is at the machines a lot - she's a Black Diamond level (the highest) and she's not shy about telling waitresses that.  She seems to pop in and out of the casino a lot and looks at her watch all the time - like she told her family she was running out to get a gallon of milk only she's in a casino playing (again).  And again and again. 

You wonder about people - how they support their slots.  Michael goes through thousands of dollars in a matter of a few hours.  I don't know what he does at the casino he works at - but he sure plays a lot of money when he plays.  In June, he was literally at the machine for 12 hours straight and considering in the morning, he told me that he'd come to the casino straight from work and had to get home to sleep before his next shift, he ended up basically playing all day - no sleep.  And he was back the next morning.  Yikes.  That's serious. 

Mysterious lady isn't chatty and when she hits something, she has no interest in commiserating about it.  When B. was with me, he sat to her right and I sat to her left and we were bantering back and forth and she never joined.  B. didn't know what he was playing so I helped him when he had a question - she just ignored us both.  So she's not a social player. 

J. is always surprised that I will strike up conversations with strangers but that's part of the fun - encouraging each other, sympathizing.  Getting excited for someone else's luck and appreciative that they are hoping for yours to improve.  Or they are excited for you when you hit something worth getting excited about. 

Mysterious lady is interesting because I know she plays a lot - Atlantis has drawings every Sunday and she ALWAYS wins something - ALWAYS.  I've never been there for the drawings that her name doesn't come up - and I know it's her 'cuz I've seen her enough to recognize her when she's claiming her winnings. 

I'm going to be Black Diamond level at Atlantis someday because it's based entirely on 'time at a machine' - not dollars wagered.  So I will play low wager and just wrack up time as a local and enjoy every minute of it.  I've met some really fun people and enjoy making connections with people - getting to 'know them' even if they aren't reciprocal in their demeanor towards me.  You can learn a lot about people just watching - how they treat the slot attendants and the waitresses, for example - and I want to be someone they get used to seeing and will go out of their way to help or 'serve' me because I am nice, polite and appreciative. 

It was a super long week (psyche-wise) while going by in a lightening-like way.  Time moves so quickly while I simultaneously feel things dragging at times.  The schools are back in full swing so it's a never ending stream of people, places and things. 

We are going to Modesto tomorrow to take H. to lunch - with his friend M. - who is a girl.  They are planning to date as soon as they are 'allowed' to do so - but for now, they are rehab friends who are supportive of each other and spend time together as often as they can.  She has a car and can drive so H. has been getting rides from her - which is nice and saves him bus fare.  (Which is really saving us bus fare since we are still his bank).  He applied for a job today and has a friend who works there so fingers crossed he can get a job. 

I'm going to work most of Sunday which I wish I wasn't?  But I am also sort of 'glad' I can - I have a lot of things to do that are best done in a quiet environment - and many things to catch up on along with working on year-end.

Morning Routine

Quite awhile back, I gave up my alarm clock and started using my phone.  I use the bedtime option (on the clock) and set it for 5ish or so.  It wakes me up with a pretty tinkling sound which is much nicer than DJ's or songs you don't like.  Can't control what will be broadcasting when your alarm goes off.

Lately, I've been waking up just before the alarm - which is nice.  Gets me out of bed and sitting up before doing the routine of a restroom stop.  In the old days, before cats, getting from the bedroom to the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning was no problem.  But these day?  With cats?  It's an obstacle course.  Muf almost always is waiting for me just outside the bedroom door and I've started using my flashlight app so I will see him and not fall.  Then he weaves in and out of my feet as I walk to the bathroom.  Back to the bedroom to gather up my clothes and then the scary trip down the stairs with him (really - I should videotape it) planting himself in front of me on every single step down. 

This morning was particularly challenging to the bathroom 'cuz they were out of food so I had both of them to watch out for.  But feeding them eliminated the risky trip down the stairs so that was good.  Too busy eating to bother with their morning routine of escorting me down the stairs.

We are looking forward to the Carson City house with no stairs. 

I've always liked the quiet in the morning - which is why I give up an hour of sleep and get up early.  I like easing into the day -

As Chloe comes back in from her first trip outside, Muf has started going out.  I worried a lot about her being outside when they first got here - and she has been missing for days at least once - but she likes to get outside and commune with nature.  I check by the door often and eventually go out and call her and so far, she comes right back.  Hoping she will continue to just spend a little time outside and then be happy to come back in. 

I'd better get going on getting ready for work - I've been trying to add an hour or so at the end of each day to keep current on all the stuff my assistant would usually do. 

We hope to send off our sketched out 'house plans' and ideas tomorrow - then they will start working on drawing what we've asked for.  Think we will trek up there in mid-to-late September to look at plans and meet in person with the lender.  I'm worried about all the decisions that will need to made in 'dark Winter' and told J. 'if we have to fly up there and Uber everywhere, that's what we'll do'.  Though we have an AWD car now and cables for it but driving up the white knuckle section just as you approach the Reno valley is not something I want to do in snow/ice conditions. 

J. just informed me that now both cats are out and about and I see Nala lurking around the pool equipment.

Consequences

First, observations on life....

Sauteed kale is surprisingly delicious.  J. combined tortellini, shrimp and kale into a delicious dinner.  I love kale.

On Friday, J. made white bean kale soup - only we call it stew.  Added sausage and brown rice.  Delicious and we've eaten it for three days.  It's amazingly delectable and when sour cream is added, even more rich and satisfying.  Kale!

If you wish you could go to Reno or a casino and you can't - sticking to our budget and saving up for our 15 night cruise in 7 months - you can play Hearts of Vegas online.  If you ingest two Blue Moons, you will feel just like you are in Reno only a lot quieter and no smoke.  AND you're amazing hubby will cook a delicious dinner for you making it easy to eat something.  

Our Internet is giving me fits this weekend - J. miraculously has a repair person coming out tomorrow 'cuz it's super slow.  Ridiculous.  Though for my 'pretend Reno' slot play, it managed to hold it together for the time I played.  

OK.  Observations over. 

I lunched with H. yesterday - I try to see him every week or so.  He's in Intensive Out Patient now so no real 'family sessions' to attend - which is sort of nice. J. was home all day today - nice to not have him trek to Modesto for 1/2 day or so.  

H. is doing well.  He looks great - gained some weight  - looks healthy.  

He finally shared his 'consequences' document - 25 consequences of his addiction.  He's hesitated me reading it and after reading it, I get why.  Many things revealed.  

I wish things being revealed would end soon.  Will it ever end?  Sometimes, it feels like it won't ever end.  

H. never says he's sorry - it's something they (addicts in recovery) don't say?  And sometimes, as I read through things that were lied about or ignored, it's hard to not have him say "I'm sorry".  I acknowledge that if it were a phrase he were to say, it would be constant and never ending and perhaps that's why it's not uttered.  Like all addicts, H. has done and said things that are awful - and restating 'sorry' over and over might have it rendered meaningless?  But us living through what we've lived through and still feeling violated and shattered, it's hard to have him not offer (at least) that once in a while.

60 Minutes is on - typical Sunday night.  I'm fading fast - expedited by two Blue Moons.  I have a super busy week ahead - school is back in session and the meetings are ramping up.  Year-end is in progress but it's time consuming.  I am working hard at making progress on that major task during the week to hopefully limit the number of weekends I have to add in to get it done.  But when meetings take up hours in my week - along with doing all the things my assistant did - it's hard.  I feel scattered and overwhelmed a good chunk of time.  The HR director extended the posting for my assistant's job to give us more time to have applicants.  We have some but none of them have me turning cartwheels at this point. 

I'm going to get two frozen cream puffs out of the freezer and drizzle with a little caramel sauce - another Reno thing - usually at the buffet, that is my go to dessert.  Then I'm going to wind down for the night and head upstairs.  I worked on culling my room today - three HUGE bags of donation items and a bag of trash from cleaning out my nightstand.  Progress!  Trying not to stress out about all we have to do - and just biting the bullet and doing what we can on a regular basis. 

We hope to finalize our floor plan ideas this week and send those off to the building team.  We haven't found the PERFECT plan - but we've found a couple we like and we hope with notes about things we'd like to change, the builder's team can sketch out something we really love.  

We also need to plan a mid-week trip up to CC so we can meet the loan people and hopefully finalize the building plans.  Aiming for mid-September.  

Sold!

J.'s friend R. pulled up in front of our house as I was loading up some return items for a trip to Target and said 'you must have sold the Mariner!'.  I said 'YES!  About an hour ago'.  A really nice young couple from Michigan drove all the way from San Mateo to buy it.  They pulled up to our house in a new Porsche so not like they were 'just starting out'.  He works for a car company in San Mateo and must be doing fairly well.

One more thing off the long list of things related to the exit of our guests.  It's nice feeling things are getting back to normal. 

J. and R. went to the Valley's Got Talent show at Gallo last night and I piddled around the homestead. 

I spent the morning cleaning out the two upstairs bathrooms.  One full (and very heavy) bag of trash and another one in process.  Tons of cosmetics and toiletries - I was brutal.  If it hadn't been used, it was gone - no matter how expensive it was.

I can't wait to have my very own bathroom in our new house where all my products can reside happily together.

Feel like we have to keep working away at getting things cleaned out and organized to avoid complete and total chaos this coming summer.  While cleaning out, we are making lists of things we need to do to the house before we can list it.  Right now, that includes redoing the small area of grass in the backyard and resurfacing the bathtub in the kids bathroom.  We'll have to start thinking about those updates by January to March to be ready to list the house in May or June.

(We're not positive of the timeline for selling this house but we're penciling in some ideas which helps jump start all the things we need to do).

We got a sort of pre-approval from the lending company for the new house but with the timing of selling this house sort of undetermined, it's hard to know what will need to happen to qualify.  In a perfect world, we'd rather deal with the financial challenge of two house payments for a few months vs. getting ourselves completely freaked out about moving twice - and actually, that is the least of it.  I could deal with knowing we will need to be temporarily housed somewhere for a few months.  It's figuring out what to do with all the pets in those few months that gets me concerned.  Super hard to find rentals that allow pets and definitely not going to be able to have them in a hotel so....we have to figure out all this timing.  Makes my head hurt. 

Sometimes, I just want to pull out the statements for our investment income and say 'really?  I'm pretty sure we will be OK'.  But mortgage qualification criteria don't treat investment income the same as earned income.  On the books, we need my job income to qualify. 

It will all work out.  We are blessed.  Very.  Paperwork is just that - and it will all end up OK. 

When we took the tour of the place with the land owner, a bright orange dragon fly flittered by repeatedly - and I said (as I always do) 'Hi, Mom!'.  I'm sure she will be helping out from where she is to get things to go as smoothly as possible - much like she did when we relocated from Hayward to Tracy 18 years ago.

Changing Perspective

Today was a super hard day.  My assistant is now a teacher at the neighboring district here in Tracy.  I am thrilled for her since teaching is what she wants to do for a career.  The tons of stuff she did daily/weekly/monthly is all on my shoulders now - in addition to all the stuff I do anyway. 

I have moments when I feel completely competent and capable of juggling it all and moments when I want to run screaming from the building.  Today was an overwhelming 'I am so done' kind of day. 

Possibly being way closer to retirement than I'd planned is influencing my perspective?  Not sure.  But it's possible. 

And today, this thought entered in the mix:  'I could retire at then end of March, 2019, and not do another budget.  I'd give up the amount I'd miss in pension annually for skipping April through June in order to never have to do another budget ever again.  It would be well worth it. 

But if that's the timeline, I need to basically clue people in by end of October.  I'll have to ponder that.  It would be nice if the district could hire my replacement in time to allow for some overlap. 

Expensive....but worth it. 

I'm going to take tomorrow (Saturday) off and put in some time in the office on Sunday.  I suspect that once I get a little more organized about the things that need doing and get a 'system' down, it will get easier.  And we have posted the job so hopefully, in a month, there will be someone who will be learning what to do and can take over.

R.'s dad dropped my rings by - and the pawn shop slip was in the envelope with the rings - and get this:  she took those rings to the pawn shop within one week of moving in here with H..  ONE WEEK.  She started stealing from us the minute she got here.  The only 'good' thing about that is maybe (fingers and toes) crossed there are more items that are in the pawn shop and when the 'clock' on the loan is over, there will hopefully be more notices about other missing items so I can get them back. 

Truly angry and disappointed that we invited a thief and a liar into our home.  I talked to H. about it and he was shocked, too - said she told him she was going to sell stuff and he said 'you can sell any of your stuff you want but nothing of my parents.  No way'.  He didn't know she'd stolen from us until towards the end of their time here - that's what he says.  I don't know if it's the truth or not but I do feel like his 'seriously?' reaction matched mine in terms of surprise and disgust.  He said 'I'm just so glad to be away from that level of crazy'.  Sums it up. 

Next week is the start of another year - teachers come back and school starts on Wednesday.  Before we know it, Winter Break 2018 will be upon us. 

It's going to be a long year that will likely go by like lightening. 

Miracle

J. entered the study and said 'I want to surprise you with something but you have to close your eyes'.  I was suspicious but I complied.

He showed me this picture on his phone.

R.'s dad received a letter from the same pawn shop we went to in June - these were collateral for a loan R. took out.  Her dad bought them back for me - only $80.

I am so happy.  Still rings missing but the ring on the left?  It's a rare find, matches J.'s wedding band and was the ring I felt most sad about.  The ring on the right is the ring J. gave me when B. was born.  I'm sad about all the missing jewelry but getting these two back really helps.

Miracles do happen.  So grateful to J. (Rachel's dad) for going there to look at what she got the letter about.

And mildly irritated at the pawn shop - because we were there with letters H. received from their business (which was for junk jewelry that wasn't ours) and inquired specifically about any other items under either of their names - and they said 'no'.  I think it's likely they had to let the clock run out on the 'loan' they gave against the value of these?  But still.  It would have saved me six weeks of heartache to know that the rings were there - just waiting to be in default status.

Very happy to have these back.  There are still so many hard, hurt, damaged feelings about everything that happened but getting these back helps smooth the angst a wee bit.