Two Weeks Dark

B. phoned yesterday to say 'goodbye' for two weeks.  They are 'playing war' and all cell phones are collected and locked in a box for the next two weeks.  Can't risk the enemy using GPS to find out where everyone is.  Or something like that.  He's stoked to get it done because he sincerely hopes they will put them on a bus 'bound for home' (Ft. Campbell, KY) as soon as they are done - he's ready to be 'home' and sleep in a bed.

H. & R. continue to be a constant, steady source of drama and frustration...though we have seen H. more this week - there has apparently been a change in the custody agreement where it's one week on and one week off...so they have the entire week 'free'.  R.'s been spending time with her girlfriend(s) and having some nights out - so H. has been home off and on.  On a good note, they paid us what they owed us and seem to be solvent for the next few months, at least.  AND R. may end up buying the Focus - she needs a more reliable car.  We'll see.  The Focus is currently at the body shop getting the last of H.'s accident damages repaired.  If R. doesn't buy it, we will be selling it as soon as we're home from Europe.

EUROPE!  Only 2 weeks and three days away from London and Paris.  And as usual, I am simultaneously ecstatically excited and overwhelmingly nervous.  So many moving parts to being away for two weeks.  Home.  Work.  Home.  Work.  My mind is zapping back and forth all the time and it's exhausting.

I have been going to Jackson on Sundays - great free play offers every Sunday in September and I took advantage of all of them.  Had a blast and sort of fell back in love with Jackson.  It's such a beautiful drive, only an hour and half that goes by quickly.  Cows, vineyards, fields.  It's lovely.  And I've done really well there on the 'win vs. lose' component as well.  I sat next to a young lady who had never played slots before.  Her aunt (or her Mom - I wasn't sure of their relationship) was on my left and she gave the young lady $100.  But she said 'no, please just give me $20'.  She played to my right and won a bonus round right away - and was up $50 pretty quickly.  She was ecstatic.  And THEN, I looked over and she was sitting there and said 'I'm not sure what I should do'.  And I noticed she had just won the MAJOR progressive - $1300!  I said 'you just won the major!' and pointed to the symbol on the game that showed she won , then pointed up to the amount she won.  She was so super excited!!

I had done really well on the machine I was on so I had no jealousy at all - super happy for her because she was so excited to win 'big' - and she'll play again, I'm sure.  A pure case of beginner's luck.

Work is super busy.  We had our first negotiations meeting of this school year today and it went very well.  It's nice to work with a great group of people and we all work very hard to find middle ground to things that we need to resolve.  It was a long but productive day.

I'm heading to Reno this weekend for another free play lollapalooza and a final 'hurrah' before winter sets in and I can't get there.  Santa might bring me airfare for a trip in January but I honestly have very little vacation time 'available' given we have three trips planned in the next 12 months and I need every single day I have for those trips.  (I have moments when I don't want to commit to the 15 night cruise in October, 2018, because I don't really want to have to save that much vacation - we have to get to/from Florida again for that trip and that means it's 15 nights on the ship PLUS a night in Florida before we embark....so I'm not sure I want to save 16 days vacation.  And we got another cruise coupon to use so maybe we'll do a shorter Alaska cruise and book that longer cruise in October, 2019 instead?).  We'll see.  We've got a lot of time to think it through. 

We're back from our Europe trip the last Friday of October and then it will be November and Thanksgiving before we know it - followed quickly after by Christmas.  Crazy. 

Patriots Day

I don't know when this anniversary became Patriots Day but it did and is, apparently.  Guess I'm behind but it's super appropriate.

I trekked to Reno on Saturday morning - enjoyed a free play lollapalooza - I had a great time at Atlantis on Saturday evening, turning my free play into some winnings.  Spent time with a local and he gave me some pointers on playing Keno - he plays Keno most often and wins 'a lot'.  He was at a slot machine as something 'new' and I watched him turn $300 into $1200 - it was a nice evening.  He works a state job and plays 'a lot' but does well enough on Keno to keep playing.

I didn't come home a big winner and I did come home with less than I took up (so I put my winnings back and then some) but it was a nice weekend.  I took the back roads home to stop in Jackson - since I had free play there as well - and broke my rule of 'take care of yourself'.  I planned to stop to get something to eat in Minden - but Minden was gone in the blink of an eye - I thought I'd make a right into a shopping center where I saw a Starbucks but there was no right.  I would have had to know 1,000 feet BEFORE the Starbucks to turn in THERE because there was no other entrance.  And then I was on a highway with no way to turn around.  2.5 hours later, I was in Jackson - dehydrated and hungry.  With a headache.   The drive was beautiful - passed so many lakes!  It was a nice drive but still - got behind a guy pulling a trailer and he refused to use a turn out.  We were finally able to pass him when there was a passing lane (after many miles of following him, passing turn out after turn out).  The guy in front of me flipped him off as we (finally) passed.

The play went quickly so I bought a pre-made ham sandwich (disappointing as most pre-made sandwiches in a deli case are), a cookie and an iced tea.  Ate the meat and a bit of cheese from the sandwich, every morsel of the cookie and then hit the road.  1.5 hours later, I was home.

The headache didn't abate - and I ended up dragging myself downstairs at 5:45 this morning to report myself out today sick.  Went back to sleep until close to 9.  Feel so-so - still headachy and like a migraine hangover...but I will make it tomorrow - have to, because there's a Board meeting tomorrow and Cabinet all morning.

Enjoying the quiet of a day sitting with my best beloved listening to tunes on his iTunes account.  He just left to pick up R.'s kids at school because her car won't start and she has to pick them up at 1:30 today.  He will drive them home to Manteca and hopefully assist in getting her car started.

It's always something.

I have an appointment in Hayward on Saturday morning and then am trekking to Thunder Valley on Sunday to pick up a(nother) cruise offer.  We can't get enough of the cruise offers and they save us a ton of $ so it's worth the drive.  Then back to Jackson via (new) back roads for more free play there.

Sometimes my hobby feels like a job.  But it's a nice (problem) hobby to have.  The pretty drives, feeling blessed in my life - losing isn't fun, by any means but how blessed am I to be able to just have fun like that?

After this months trips, though, I will be saving up for our cruise in March - won't go to Reno much at all once winter weather hits so it will be easier to save up.

On Wednesday, J. is taking the Mariner to Modesto Ford - wrench light happened again last weekend (I drove the Camry to Reno this weekend) so we're taking it in for a 2nd opinion.  It was 108 that day and super duper hot - and I wasn't exactly going the speed limit - so maybe it just overheated 'on the natural'.  But I worry about driving long distances 'cuz I don't want to have issues on a mountain, curvy road with limited phone reception.

As always on this day, I think about where I was when the incidents of 9/11 started sixteen years ago. Remembering being home with J. (after arriving at work and realizing our country was being attacked - glad they let us go home) and watching the towers fall on the news.  Shortly after I said 'do you think they will fall?'.  And they did.

I will never forget.

A Forever Tragedy

A board member lost his son last weekend.  The funeral was today.  I told my boss that I wasn't planning on going (on Monday when he told me).  But all week, I wrestled back and forth in my head.  Yesterday, I emailed my boss to say 'I'm going back and forth and I think my mind is trying to tell me I should go'.  He wrote back and said 'I'm glad you're going and those tugs are usually right'.

So today, we sat in a church with so many young people saying goodbye to someone they grew up with - and all those young people's parents, many in attendance, sat there thinking 'how does this happen?  What if that were my child?'.  This young man was born the same year as B. and he went to the same high school as both B. & H. .  I felt choked up the minute we walked into the sanctuary.

Shocked doesn't begin to describe the family and friends there today.  There was no indication this young man was having any kind of issues that would lead him to make a choice that would end his life.  Just an instant...a moment....and a decision made that his family and friends will never recover from in many ways, though they'll do their best.

By all accounts, this young man dropped everything to be there for his friends and if he'd reached out that day, he would have surely found support.  But he didn't.  He didn't realize what he was thinking was about to become reality and he didn't think it would get better.  Ever.

We tell our students 'suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem'.  Moments that are devastating happen.  Sometimes everyday.  Sometimes once in a while.  We've all had moments when something felt so horrible, we can't imagine surviving another minute.  But we do.  Things get better. The pain you have on your heart right this second will feel different tomorrow.  Or maybe even in an hour.  Things get clearer after they're hazy -

But so often, a person in pain doesn't think that through and makes a decision to do something....and that is irrevocable.

The pastor talked about the parents hoping that there is a purpose out there for what happened.  My small purpose realization is that I miss having a church home and perhaps the church I attended today is a place to consider.  So one person brought closer to God than they have been in a long time - that's one purpose.  I know this family and I have no doubt they will do greater things from this tragedy. I'm sure of it - because their son is lost and they are stunned and in disbelief and I think they want to encourage people to reach out.

We see it on Facebook all the time these days - someone is always listening.  We just have to get the person in pain to pick up the phone and reach out.  Or send a message.  Or a text.  Or speak face to face.

It's been a long, hard week.   It's super hot here and we're ordering Indian takeout.  We have a Hello Fresh ready to go but it's just too darn hot to cook and it's been the longest damn week in recent memory.  So glad it's a 3-day weekend and I have no set plans.  Not a one.

God Bless the J. family - so sorry for their loss.