Listen

It's a new day....still a cold and possibly wet day....but a new, fresh start. Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day and transformed me back into my 'normal' self....so that's good. I'm sure ya'll are breathing much easier now - and so are those closest to me here.

I know exactly when the transformation happened - and exactly why it happened.....and wish I could share more about it. What I will say is this: sometimes, when you're not getting something you think you need from the person you think you need it from, it's not as simple as them agreeing. It's not as simple as a 'yes' or a 'no'. And maybe the reason they're not responding in the way you thought they would - or the way you think they should - is because they can't. Allow for the possibility that you're not the only person on the planet and other people may be dealing with 'stuff' as well. We all have stuff. And I think as needy humans, it's easy to forget that. I know it's easy for me to forget. I don't get needy often - but when I do, it's usually a doozy...and the last five days or so have been fraught with more emotions and needs and 'stuff' than I have spewed out in a long, long time. And as it usually does when you let the stuff build and build, when it spewed it really spewed.....I'm glad I'm past that and back to 'normal'. And so is the person at whom I was spewing. (No, it wasn't J. - but as always, spouses are collateral damage. Love you J. and thanks for helping me get past my 'moments' this past weekend).

Do I still have mountains of work? Yes....yes, I do. Will it get done? Yes....it always does. And most of it will be enjoyable. Most. Not all.

I'm planning to take off some time in March - just days to 'make like broccoli' [do you know what movie that's from?]. Veg myself through some days and make some progress on some 'home' projects that need to move forward. Sleep a lot. HUGE amounts of sleep. Now it's just a matter of when to wedge those days off in. But they'll happen.

The minute someone shared their 'stuff' with me yesterday - and I started to focus on helping them through it vs. spiraling into the abyss about my stuff - I was transformed. I literally felt it....

So my lesson for today is: help each other. Listen. Be present. Step outside yourself and help someone. Maybe give a homeless person a few dollars. Volunteer somewhere. Find someone who needs to talk to someone and listen.

It made all the difference for me - and my 'normal' self is thankful for that valuable lesson.

And I did restock the toilet paper in the bathrooms upstairs. That helps, too.