Preparations

I'm typing this without the keypad on the letter 'a' on my keyboard - which is totally throwing me off 'cuz I keep moving my hand over and consequently, type gibberish periodically. Searching for the key....thinking I'm too far left - but I'm there...it's just that I'm having to 'hit' the teeny, tiny rubber button that's under the keypad. Another keyboard on order. I must have a 'hard' touch....will probably plug in a keyboard instead 'cuz I've been needing a 10-key also and miss having one...so perhaps losing another keyboard on my laptop is just God's way of saying 'get a real keyboard, you typing maniac'. Heh.

New Years Eve is tomorrow and we're attending our usual party - and I'm actually going to COOK appetizers instead of buying them. Stuffed jalapenos and other stuff. We will be there around 6ish and be playing our usual games around 7. Hopefully I'll make it past midnight - I have the past two years and hope to continue that trend.

We have one more family outing planned for Thursday. I've promised the kids that I will not attempt to get them out the door before 11AM - we will all likely be sleeping in quite a bit since we're not usually in bed before 3AM - it's a fun party and we all stay up really late and sleep really late. But we want to get to the mall sometime during the break and Thursday is B's last day off this week - and we have things to take care of around the house tomorrow that make tomorrow problematic. We will shop a bit and then have a nice lunch at The Cheesecake Factory and come home in late afternoon/early evening. Everyone wanted to go tomorrow and I vetoed that - but then rescinded my veto....only to have B. decide that going anywhere tomorrow will interfere with his gym schedule. Between work and gym outings, it's nearly impossible to work out scheduling. But we continue to try.

J. and the kids went to Tulare for a night and returned late this afternoon. I had plans to go to Jackson for a day - but decided to not waste the money. So I spent about 1/2 what I would have probably lost on a purse - I don't need it but I want it - and I've been looking at it for a month. It's 1/2 off which is a phenomenal deal - so I bought it. It will be a nice addition to my purse 'collection'. And it's smaller than what I've been using and that is critical - the bigger the purse, the more crap I put in it and it's too heavy to manage. So I'm downsizing, even my purse. (Rationalization is a wonderful thing, isn't it?).

It's been a fun close to three weeks off and it's a bit hard to accept that it's winding down. Sometime in the next few days, the laptop from work will be on the desk and I'll attempt to clean up my emails. My mailbox has been basically 'closed' for the time I've been off 'cuz it's too full and I haven't done anything about it. Thankfully, we are all off for the two weeks of the holidays and so I haven't missed much. Still, it's astounding the amount of stuff I'm still getting that clogs my box. Oh well. I have to clean it out before we all arrive on Monday morning and try to clean it out - our Internet will undoubtedly be at a snail's pace for most of the morning.

Happy New Year to all....it's the year of change and I'm so happy to be watching this historic President take office. We have so many challenges ahead but I feel optimistic and hopeful for the first time in a long time. I hope it can only get better from here...but I say that guardedly because there have been so many times in the past 8 years when I've thought it was as bad as it's going to get only to wake up the next morning and discover it's even worse. Change will take time. I don't expect miracles. One day at a time.

Merry Christmas

It was a glorious day - really great. I surprised everyone by being the first one up - wanted to get the pastries I had left out to rise (sounds like I baked from scratch, but these were frozen cinnamon braid and caramel rolls that we bought from a soccer fundraiser in early fall) in the oven. They were looking luscious after sitting out in the warmth (relatively speaking) of the kitchen and covered in plastic wrap. Were now three times the size they were when I went to bed - and they baked up easily and were delicious. Had lattes ready for me and J. (kids declined) and we started the great unwrapping around 8.

They had some video games to unwrap. PJs, clothes, socks, underwear, t-shirts, etc. But the main event was a scavenger hunt for cash. This year, instead of giving each of them a 'big' present and then a combined 'big' present, we decided to just stick with money. They know what they want. They change their minds as often as the tide changes and it's just easier (and safer) to give them money. But I make them work for it.

I had 16 clues. They were 'riddle' clues and took some noodling over for them to think of what I meant. For example:

We (sp?) = Wii (the envelopes were on the Wii set in the family room)

Owie! = envelopes in the band aid box under the sink in their bathroom.

Moo! = on the Cow Parade shelf of cows in the dining room.

A latte loot! = on the latte machine in the kitchen.

You get the idea. They had a terrific time and were stunned into silence at the grand total. They were over the moon happy - and received other really wonderful gifts from family to add to that total....so they spent the day planning shopping, etc. H. needs a new snowboard (thanks to a 12 inch [yes, really] growth spurt this past year that made his relatively new board from last year too short) and new bindings. B. is probably going to buy a better set of golf clubs. But for now, they are enjoying the joy of having cash - and all the fun in planning to spend it. We will make at trip to Stoneridge Mall next week after New Years. We were planning to go tomorrow but a snow board trip was too tempting to pass up.

They also spent the day preparing to head to the slopes tomorrow - not all final semester grades are in but the ones that are in are improved - so we agreed to let them take the Snow Cruiser bus up to Dodge Ridge tomorrow. There's a group of about 10 friends going - they leave at 5:45 and get home around 6ish. They've been finding snow clothes, tightening bindings, etc. all day - along with playing their new Playstation games, etc. We've had a good week of storms and there's finally quite a bit of snow - tomorrow is the first run of the Cruiser and it's a good deal. Lift ticket and transportation for $69. The kids sleep most of the way up, snowboard hard all day and sleep most of the way home. They will have a great time and it's really fun that so many friends were able to coordinate a free day at the same time. A rare and wonderful thing.

We had a wonderful Christmas dinner of standing rib roast (same as prime rib - I didn't know that) - we slow roasted it on 200 degrees all day - it was fantastic. I made Popovers - which didn't turn out perfect, but turned out OK. Green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie for dessert. Yummy!

Chloe wasn't left out - she received two new toys, which she carried around in her mouth most of the day - afraid to let them out of her site. She was with us all day and had a great time running all around and trying to commune with the cats.

Church services last night were lovely and we were glad we went. Though it was very emotional for us - the pastor mentioned how he knew a lot of people in attendance were missing someone from their celebration. This wasn't our first Christmas without my mom and Jim's folks, but it still was hard. Will it ever be 'easy'? I miss my Mom starting in November with her birthday and then carrying forward throughout the holiday season..culminating in a terribly hard December. Though it's a happy time and we enjoy it, we still miss them a lot and it was hard at church last night. But the candlelight was as lovely as ever and we enjoyed the music and the sermon.

I received many wonderful things - and I love them all! But I want to mention one particular gift that was so incredibly sweet. When H. went to SF a couple weeks ago with friends, he came home with a package. He quickly said 'uh, nothing' when I inquired what it was. This morning, I unwrapped a new Cow Parade cow - that sweet young man had found a cow, called J. from SF that evening to inquire if I already had it and just to be sure, looked at each cow when he got home to be SURE the one he selected for me was not one I had. Her name is Cali-Cow - she's covered in patchwork hearts. It's a perfect blend of two things I love - quilting and Cow Parade. It was so sweet! I just love it!

I hope your Christmas was faith-filled and fun!

San Fran

We spent most of the day in the city - three pairs of shoes, two sets of men's cologne, a pair of jeans and various accouterments from Sephora (and a partridge in a pear tree) later, we returned home from a fun filled shopping day. The city was packed as it usually is - traffic was crazy. And ESPECIALLY our departure. It took TWO HOURS just to get from down town SF to the freeway - and then another hour and 20 minutes from there to get home. We had to make a stop in Castro Valley - near our old stomping grounds when the kids were little (shocked to realize the McDonald's near their old school was torn down - it's being rebuilt, thank goodness, from the ground up) - we all had to pee and the kids were starving. We made it home to release Chloe from her puppy prison after 9 hours of being kenneled. Poor baby - but it's the same length of a typical (weekend) night time and she did great. Raced out the back door and headed out to piddle. Ate her dinner. And is now settled in her master's lap (J's at the moment) for some warmth and cuddling. She's fine though I was worried sick about her. We had called her regular kennel lady and she was full so couldn't take her. We thought we'd be in the city for a few hours and then home in 6 or 7 - it turned into longer because we didn't anticipate the horrifically bad traffic. Huge mistake. Won't do that again - we'll either never, ever go in the day before the day before Christmas ever again, or we'll be absolutely sure to head that way in the early morning to ensure we're home and out of the traffic before the 4:30 commute traffic starts. It was BAD. But the day was fun.

We were so incredibly late getting home 'cuz we didn't leave Tracy until after 11AM. Our delay was caused by a great thing, though - WE FINALLY SOLD THE VAN!!! A gentleman called last night after 7 and wanted to see it - so we met him and his family at 9 this morning. Had sealed the deal and had exchanged money for paperwork and keys by 10:30. A trip to our bank, then home, then out the door. We are so glad to finally have it sold. We accepted less than we were asking - and had lowered our price 10% already - but it's sold and will be off our insurance by New Years. That's a $75 savings per month - and a boost to our savings account. YEAH!

So we 'splurged' a bit and J. and I didn't hesitate to buy the shoes we both need, that are hard to find - I went to the Ecco store and he went to the Rockport store and we both left with shiny new shoes. B. got a pair of jeans and both boys picked out 'colognes' - something they both wanted for Christmas and certainly too personal to have their mom pick, so they got to go to Macy's in SF and choose scents they like. Those were early Christmas gifts. We ate at Lori's Diner on Powell Street - the place we always gravitate towards whenever we're near Union Square. It's good food and a 'diner' - nice people. It was great - and then we headed out for shopping.

I am tired and realize that tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I still have a zillion things to do to prepare for the day. We have to get to the bank for the 'main event' (more on that after Christmas) and to SaveMart to pick up the standing rib roast we ordered for Christmas dinner. And a day of wrapping, etc. before heading to church for the 7PM contemporary service. Then watching The Santa Clause and hopefully getting the kids to bed before 11. And unlike last year when we wrapped half the night, I do hope and plan to be DONE other than schlepping it all down under the tree.

The city was all lit up - beautiful trees everywhere. An ice rink in Union Square. It was pretty and frenetic and beautiful....and I'm really glad we went. And glad we have a very patient, sweet dog who was so glad her family had returned from a day in the 'big city'.

Decorating

As of this past Tuesday, we had very few decorations up. The tree was up and had extra lights on it and a bunch of glass 'globe' ornaments. That was it. And my husband was leaving for a business trip the next day...I was not pleased. I urged him (that's a nice way of putting it) to find the tree skirt. I was sure we had one. Somewhere. I have a zillion gifts ready to wrap and I guess my mind figured once the tree skirt was around the base of the tree, I'd get more motivated to wrap and put things under the tree? So my hubby goes up into the rafters of the garage and pulls down any and all boxes that might possibly hold Christmas stuff. I also rant about my nativity scene - where is it? Please find it before you leave....you get the idea.

I go upstairs. He comes in a bit later and says 'we've had a major disaster'. I felt the tears stinging my eyes because I knew - I just knew - that he had dropped the box of my nativity scene...my Avon Collectible porcelain bisque nativity scene that I collected over a 10 year period and have had since before we were married. I even bought a bunch of additional pieces to it in 2001 on eBay - which I remember because I was unemployed at the time and it was ridiculously cavalier of me to spend money on things we absolutely, positively didn't need. But I found so many pieces to my set that I never knew existed...and I bought all of them. Completed the set. It's beautiful...all white. I'll try to get a picture of it and put it up. Anyway, I was sure he was going to tell me it was a zillion, shattered pieces on the garage floor. But he didn't. He said 'I was trying to put the tree skirt underneath and I was leaning the tree and one of the welds snapped and the tree fell over. It's broken.

I said (I'm paraphrasing and my hubby is welcome to 'correct' the post with a comment) basically 'you will not leave for your trip until there is a tree in this house'. I didn't think there would be any artificial trees left - and assumed he'd have to run to SaveMart and pick up a $19.95 real tree to get us through. It would be tiny and old (having been out there since just after Thanksgiving) and I'd be frantically worried constantly that it would catch fire (one of the reasons we decided to change to an artificial tree - I worry a lot) but it would be a tree. If we didn't have two kids in the house who are all about 'tradition', I would have said 'let's just put up the nativity scene and skip the tree'. But we can't do that with the kids here celebrating Christmas.

I helped H. clean up the mess - shattered ornaments all over the place. We moved furniture, vacuumed everywhere.

J. headed to Target to return the tree (after re boxing it, of course). And 'lo and behold - they did have the same tree and it was on clearance! Saved us $75!

The tree is back up and we left it 'alone' until J. returned to decorate it. He also put up the outside decorations on the lawn - some spiral trees and our drum set. Put lighted rope around the grass. It's pretty and understated (and less expensive than what we used to do).

And, for the record: we didn't have a tree skirt. The 'thing' that J. was putting UNDER the tree was a felt circle that does ???. I have no recollection of buying it nor any idea why we have it...maybe it's made to reduce the 'effect' a tree stand has on your carpet? Anyway, that's what he was trying to put under the tree when the base broke. So I used some of our savings from now having a 'clearance' tree and bought a real tree skirt. I wanted the one that was $30 - it had snowmen sewn on it with all kinds of sequins, etc. But I realized the cats would just tear it to bits trying to get the sequins off - so I opted for the $15 one - it's like Santa's suit - fuzzy and red with a white trim. It looks great under the tree.

We are making some progress. Slowly but surely. We're just all in slow motion. So grateful to have a break to the frenetic pace we usually keep that we really aren't 'into' all the frazzle-making activities this year. I'm sure Christmas morning will change that...it usually does.

We hope to make it to San Fran sometime this week, though at the moment, we're having a challenge trying to figure out what to do with the dog for the day. It's way too long of a day to keep her kenneled all day here alone. And the kennel we usually take her to is full. So we'll try the other kennel we use sometimes and hope they can keep her for the day. If not, I don't know what we'll do - possibly just J. and the kids will go, which would be fine with me. Sure, I love going - but admittedly, I go to shop - and I don't really want to spend the money anyway. Hopefully, I can convince the men to go - and I'll happily stay home and dog sit for the day. I know they will protest. And if we can find a place to take her, I'll happily trek into the 'big city' with them...but if not, I'll be happy as a clam to just stay home - where it's warm.

Peace

Enjoying the last 'quiet' solitary morning of the winter break. Boys headed out at around 7:30 for their last day of finals. H. actually doesn't have any finals today - the two classes scheduled today for him are PE and English and he's taken the final in those already, last week, I guess....so of course, he sees no reason to attend class today. But he went. 'Cuz I had no paperwork from the school indicating skipping the scheduled final period was OK. (and also 'cuz I wasn't ready to give up my last 'free' kid-free day for the next two weeks. I like my quiet, solitude while I piddle around the house and I wasn't willing to say yesterday was my last day of that. No, not by a long shot...so off he went). B's light was on when I got up to rouse H. out of bed - and I tapped on the door and checked on him. My 'did you get any sleep' was answered with '5 hours'. I went downstairs and fired up the espresso machine and made him a triple shot, sugar-free, fat-free mocha and took it up to him. He was really appreciative - even elicited an 'I love you, Mom' from him. He's studying like a maniac 'cuz today is his BIGGEST, most important final of all - math. His grade in that class is abysmal and only a miracle will raise it to an acceptable semester grade - failing that, he may not actually attend a 4 year school 'cuz a semester grade of what he's currently carrying in that class will not pass muster at Chico. Or Monterey. Or anywhere in the state school system, for that matter. So we'll see. He'll arrive home at around 1 and undoubtedly go to sleep for a bit. As he has every afternoon of these early release 'final schedule' days. And then he'll go to work.

It's warmer by 10 degrees this morning (though I just realized the temp has dropped a few degrees from when I got up to now, so we'll see). It's cold...for sure.

I have a lot of wrapping to do - and then, hopefully, a trip to the UPS store to get things shipped to out of state family....undoubtedly, some of those gifts will arrive post-Christmas but that's OK. It's not lack of thought, just lack of effort. That, and I've changed my mind on how to 'present' these gifts so many times. The dining room table is littered with my 'various ideas' and today, I need to 'pick one' and stick with it - kind of the same message I've been giving B. regarding the college decision. 'Just decide and stick with it', I told him yesterday. 'Once we know FOR SURE, then we can start to figure out what comes next. It's the unknown that's killing me, B.'. He seemed to 'get that'. Hopefully, I won't have a heart attack and die in the next week, otherwise, the kid will be scarred for life. But that IS the hugest part of the stress for me - the constant 'changing his mind', applying all over the place and not being sure any of them is where he actually wants to go. He's paid all the application fees from his money (thank goodness he's working) so I can't gripe about that. Once we know where he wants to go, we know - and can chart out what $$ is due when, and figure out where it's coming from. Then we'll know.

So, I will be hopefully doing the same today. Will we keep the 2nd artificial tree (a post on why we're on our 2nd artificial tree will be up in a day or so - it's an amusing tale, full of mirth and whimsy, a tale of a wife and a husband and the 'tradition' that is Christmas in our home)? Will Majah ever decide which [xxxxx] (I can't type the word or the family that reads this blog will know what they're getting for Christmas) to use? Will she make it to the UPS store before Christmas? All those things yet to be answered.

For now, I'm heading into the kitchen to make my 2nd latte - we're out of sugar free vanilla syrup and I've added a trip to Smart and Final to my list of errands today 'cuz I'm sort of really missing it. I'd use vanilla extract but did you know it's mainly alcohol? And while you'd have to use a lot of it to get buzzed from a latte, it can happen? Not that I'd know....well.....that's another story for another day. I don't use vanilla extract in my coffee anymore. 'Nuf said.

Acceptance

B. has been 'conditionally' accepted to CSU Chico and CSU Monterey. He is leaning towards Chico and I'm fine with that. He doesn't want to be at Monterey, which is really just 'starting out'. He wants to be at a well established school. I also think he's hoping he and his best friend will be attending the same school - and since his friend C. has also been accepted, they just might. CSU Chico has a great Resident Advisor program as well - and I'm really stressing to B. how important it is that he do well his freshman year and this time next year, go through the process of applying for an RA slot in the 10-11 year. They get a private room, all meals, free parking or free laundry (he gets to choose which one), $1,000 toward fees and a part-time job that will provide a little pocket money. If he can cover his room and board by doing the RA position, that will be his 'job' and we will be fine. If he can't, then we'll have to see how it goes - it's not like we are currently shelling out over $1,000/month now for his 'room and board'. That's what we'll have to come up with for his dorm/meal payment every month, 10 months of the year if he doesn't get an RA slot. That's a lot of dough! So I hope he will follow through. He's clear on this: he has to work. The RA slot is the best compensation available - it's on campus and while it's a big commitment, he will have free time, study time and 'on call' time. There aren't many other part time jobs he can get that will cover $11,200 in expenses each year.

He's excited. I'm overwhelmed. As soon as I saw the 'acceptance' packet in the mail (a dead giveaway was the CONGRATULATIONS, B., which showed through the window), I just felt nauseous. Trying not to worry too much - it will all work out somehow. I want him to have the experience he wants....and I know we'll figure it out somehow. I'm trying not to over think it right now.

Sponsorship

First, the concert was STELLAR. Just amazing. Michael W. plus two former American Idol performers - Melinda Doolittle and George Huff. Melinda was billed as 'touring' with Michael, while George first appeared as a backup singer - then got one solo: Oh Holy Night, my all time favorite Christmas Carol. Melinda has an incredible voice - just amazing. The orchestra was great! and while I really expected the show to be mainly orchestra and Melinda, MWS appeared at the 2nd song and stayed for every song after. Two full hours (20 minute break in the middle). All Christmas music - including a lot of his instrumental pieces which I just love!

During the break, the drummer for MWS did a presentation on Compassion International - the same group that I had been reading about at www.thepioneerwoman.com. Her family traveled to visit the young children they have been sponsoring and the trip sounded just amazing. I have been researching the group and learning about sponsoring a child - and had even started to push the 'sponsor a child' button a couple times - but there was always a question that tripped me up. The brief bios of the kids you can sponsor always include mention of the siblings in the family. For example 'Maria has two siblings also living at home'. So I always hesitate - thinking 'how can I give money to help one child in a family with three kids? How does that work? How is it THIS child in the family that gets a sponsor and not the other two'? Since Compassion Int'l was there last night, with lots of volunteers, I snuck out of the concert for a few minutes (also to use the restroom when there wasn't a tremendously long line) and asked that question. The lady who helped me said she's sponsored through Compassion for years - and her sponsored child has always sent pictures of the things the money was used for. Things that benefit the entire family - extra food, school supplies, etc. She also said that up to 2 children per family are allowed to be sponsored - so it's possible that the home is receiving additional support as well. I felt 'better' about that...I don't want to help just one child in a multi-child home. It never felt 'right' to sponsor a child when the siblings were left out. But I felt confident the money we would donate to sponsor one child would help all those in the family - and help the family. And I read the packet of information I received at the concert this morning and found out we are able to also make 'special' gifts to the child and family throughout the year - to be used to help the family with special needs. Compassion has staff that helps the family define what they most need and what the money will be used for. So that also feels good.

So, I signed up to sponsor two little girls - Any is 4 and Yanci is 3. One is in Honduras and the other in El Salvador. Tomorrow, I'm going to write our 'sponsor' letter to introduce our family to the the girls - Compassion will ensure this communication reaches them and as they grow, they will write back.

This seems like a really good way to help at a grass roots level - helping those living in extreme poverty. Compassion feels it's critically important to help children specifically - the money is for the benefit of the specific child vs. going to the community. The girls will receive food, medical care, clothing, school supplies (when they start attending school), school uniforms, etc.

I'm so excited about this - it's $64 per month for the two of them combined - and that's certainly an amount we can commit to, even in these times of belt tightening and watching our pennies. Heck, as I emailed J. this morning 'I can start buying only one iced tea each day instead of two and that will cover 2/3 of the expense each month'. Not that I 'have to' do that to make that amount feasible. But it really puts into perspective how much I spend without even thinking - and how that money could be a life changing amount for a child who lives in poverty. Wow...what a thought. The parents of Any and Yanci are living on less than $100 per month - supporting a family with multiple children, living in huts, scraping by. What a difference my $1 per day will make for them? Who couldn't find just a dollar a day to help a child?

I have their pictures on the refrigerator - and can't wait to get updated photos as they grow. I will pray for them nightly - that they have what they need and that our sponsorship helps them. I know it will. I believe Compassion works - and as MWS said 'I'm for things that work - and this does work'. I'm really excited about doing this - I feel really called to do it - not to just keep thinking about it - but to do it. It was so cool that they were there last night at the concert - what a great organization!

My friend J. and I were back in Tracy by 10PM - and I'm 48 years old and learned a 'new' way of approaching concert parking. We took the time to cruise the parking lot and figure out where people would be exiting - and we found a space right near the only 'exit' from the parking lot and backed in - so all we had to do was pull right out and head straight out the lot. We were probably one of the first 10 cars out of the parking lot last night - and in all my years of concert going, I've never thought of attempting to strategically park with your easy, speedy departure in mind! What a concept! Worked like a charm...thanks, J. - for finding out about the concert; for your brilliant parking plan and for picking up the tab for our scrumptious dinner! It was a wonderful night! Can't wait to see Third Day and Brandon Heath in April!!

Tidying

My good friend J. is arriving in about an hour and a half - and she's never seen our house before. Hard to believe - but true. And I am sticking to my 'take us as we are' philosophy on housecleaning. Gone are the days of frenzied, multiple day preparation for 'company'. Truth is: the house is presentable at any time. Some days are better than others - and there's always room for improvement.

Still, I am vacuuming (which we need to do anyway - the blustery weather is creating all kinds of crud that's being tracked in. I just swept the kitchen from stem to stern and within 4 minutes of the boys arriving home from school, it had to be swept again). So a good vacuuming was in order anyway. And I have reloaded the dishwasher and run it again because I baked 30 blueberry muffins for B's 'final' in his AVID class last night and that filled up the sink with muffin tins, mixing bowls, measuring cups, etc.

I will run up in a minute and make sure the laundry is off the floor in the guest bedroom and confirm the beds are made. But other than that, it's 'done'. We have to get on the road to Modesto for the concert tonight fairly quickly after her arrival so it's not like we'll be hanging out here.

I see a zillion things 'wrong'. The carpets need to be cleaned - I'm going to schedule that soon, I think. And the tile floors could use a good scrubbing - also going to schedule that along with the carpets, probably. The back yard looks 'wintery' - every thing's bare and looks cold and wet - not much I can do about that. It IS cold and wet so I guess that's just the way it stays. Thankfully, the pool guy came today so there's no stuff floating in the pool. That weekly service is the best $80 a month - seriously. Saves us so much time.

I am looking forward to a wonderful evening with a dear friend - and an orchestra and Michael W. Smith. I know it's going to be an amazing night! God will be there and I really can't wait for that feeling - when there's so much joy and faith in the air, you can feel it.

J. is winging his way to Minnesota where it was 14 degrees yesterday. There's no way he can bring the kind of winter clothes required for those temps - we don't have them. But he assures me that other than getting from the airport to the cab and from the cab into the hotel, they have 'tunnels' that keep you out of the cold. I hope he's right about that. I was in Minneapolis in October once for business and remember being so cold, I couldn't believe people could survive in that climate. I also remember waiting for a friend (an old friend from Mervyn's) to pick me up at the hotel - and the doorman kept saying 'Ms. M., are you sure you wouldn't rather wait inside and I'll come get you when your friend gets here'? I found the cold strangely exhilarating and I declined. Which was a good thing 'cuz waiting out there on the sidewalk, a limo pulled up to the curb. And out came Jerry Lewis - THE Jerry Lewis, carrying his young (6 or 7 years old, I think) daughter into the hotel. He was teasing her about 'your tootsies are going to be freezing'. He wasn't kidding.

Stay warm, my love. And hurry home. It's not 'home' without you in it.

Design

Eight years in this house has taught us a lot about things we will do differently if/when we build a home. This house is wonderful and ya'll know I love it to pieces; however, there are some design flaws that become glaringly troublesome each winter.

First, three rooms of this house are over the garage. B.'s bedroom, the kids bathroom and part of the playroom/media room. We lived here for at least 4 years before we realized just how cold it was in poor B's room - and now that we have a small portable heater in there, we know for a fact that the winter temp in that room is frequently below 60 degrees. The builder did what a lot of builders do - they saved money by not adequately insulating the garage ceiling (which is B's floor). Since we had the garage dry-walled, we didn't really 'notice' as the house was being built. It's top on our list of 'next big things to do to the house': add insulation to the garage. Not that we use it as a 'room' but because there are so many rooms overtop of it that are freezing. B. now uses an electric heater to take the chill off. It's helping.

The builder also did a totally inadequate job of designing an appropriate duct system upstairs. After a few years of suffering with extreme heat and cold upstairs - and being told 'upstairs are never as efficiently heated or cooled compared to the rest of the house' (in spite of having an entirely separate HVAC unit for the upstairs), we had the ducts checked and discovered they weren't even connected. Just hung over the rafters of the 'attic' (crawl space) and left to toss hot or cool air into the space vs. getting it through the registers and into the rooms. We spent a small fortune for the duct work to be totally redone upstairs - and it helped. But it's still plenty cool up there in the winter and mighty hot in the summer.

That is partly due to a mis-design of the thermostat for upstairs. We've already moved it from one wall to the other - and that didn't help much. In the winter, the heat from downstairs rises up to the landing - and the thermostat registers a balmy 71 degrees. Which it is - on the landing. But all the surrounding rooms - where we eat, sleep, compute, etc. - are freezing cold. To get the heat to run in those rooms, we have to set the thermostat upstairs to over 72 (if the downstairs heat is on). And if you leave the house and 'forget' that you've cranked it up to get a little heat up there, you come home to Hawaii - in the dead of winter. Sauna like.

I've given up fretting about these odd quirks - we work around them. There are portable heaters in the rooms people sleep in (except the Master Bedroom 'cuz it has a fireplace that puts out a heck of a lot of heat when required) and fans for summer. There's really not much we can do to fix it at this point - the unit is where it is and moving it would be a huge, expensive undertaking. So we adjust. And I'm constantly the 'HVAC' police, triple checking that we haven't left it set high/low when we're heading out for awhile.

On the subject of energy, I stopped our Balanced Payment plan this past month...and now, when I go to the website and click on 'setting up Balanced Payment Plan', our monthly payment would be ~$40 less than what we were paying. If they'd just adjusted the thing like they were supposed to - 'cuz I knew we've lowered our monthly cost quite a bit - I would have stayed on it. But the bill in November where I only 'owed' $99 and they were asking for $419 put me over the top....I just paid the $99 and moved the other $320 into savings - to 'prepare' for the big heating bills soon to come and the monstrous cooling bills of the future summer. I'm a good budgeter - I think I'll just budget myself from now on. Makes me mad when they don't adjust appropriately and keep charging me $40 more per month than we're using. Their clue should have been that we carried a credit balance for months, even in the summer! I'm making the family nuts with my monitoring of our energy usage but it's working!

Vino

We made our bi-weekly trip to Costco this weekend - grabbing last minute Christmas gifts and stocking up on Starbucks giftcards - which I use. Will give a couple to some folks as a gift but for the most part, I admit they are mine. All mine. I'm getting the 10% off from my Goldcard and also 20% off from buying $100 of cards for $80 at Costco. Since you're never sure when Costco will stop carrying something, I sort of 'stocked up' a bit.

Among our stock ups was wine. Lots of wine. At Thanksgiving, we enjoyed a really nice Gewurztraminer - and that made us realize that we are running 'low' on our favorites. We realized that when we both wanted a little more - and there was none. None in the rack. None anywhere. Bummer. We don't drink much - but there's nothing worse than wanting another glass and being 'out'. So, we stocked up.

There's no better place than Costco at Christmas to stock up. Well, maybe Trader Joe's and I'm heading there tomorrow for some Two Buck Chuck Merlot...but Costco has a nice variety of little-known wines for around $3-$10 per bottle. That's affordable.

This evening, I opened a bottle of white zinfindel. Berringer, I think. Actually, I didn't open it - my almost 18 year old son did. Took a lot more 'strength' than I could muster. I tried not to be 'disturbed' at having him open it - I mean, he is physically stronger than I am and it does take just plain old brute strength to wrestle a well-stuck cork out of a bottle. He did an admirable job - and no, he did not have any. He's not legal, you know. And he's working tonight. He can have a wee sip or two at Christmas if he'd like to try it.

It's a Monday - and I'm having WINE! And you know what that means - I'm on VACATION!!

(Footnote: I was going to post this last night (Monday) but I had to look up how to spell Gewurztraminer...which still doesn't look right to me but I'm posting the post anyway).

Reconnected

I talked to Bug today!! She sent me an email to say 'hi'. So I immediately called her and she actually answered. Said she had seen the 'hey, Bug, please call me' post earlier this month and wasn't sure why I was worried about her.

Isn't it amazing what your psyche can create when it's got too much 'time' on it's hands? She had no idea it had been close to seven weeks since we last spoke. She had not rec'd my email or my message on her cell...she had no idea I was assuming she was pissed and bagging me repeatedly. She wasn't. Wow, what a relief.

In church yesterday, the Pastor gave us time to pray for something 'on our heart' and my prayer was 'I miss Bug. I hope we can reconnect soon'. And we did!!

Lunch is scheduled for tomorrow.

And I am officially on 'break' until January 5th - my only other work commitment this week (I spent 5 hours there this morning for a monthly Cabinet meeting) is a CBO meeting on Wednesday. I'm feeling 'lighter' and raring to get into the holiday spirit. Wrapping, baking, tree-decorating, house decorating, etc. are all on the agenda.

And it's so nice of God to be showing a little actual sunshine for the first time in weeks. It appeared as I was leaving my office this morning and is still here an hour later. Hoping it lasts a bit to keep the 'brightness' going in the house. It's so much easier to 'get going' on things when it's bright inside instead of dreary and cold.

The UPS guy just dropped off a package and now Chloe is barking non-stop! I'm going to spend three weeks ringing the doorbell non stop so she'll get over the sound it makes and quit going nuts everytime it rings!

The holidays are officially HERE!!

Bail Out

I'm not really sure what to think about the possible bail out of the big three auto makers. I do know this: my thoughts are a bit different since owning my first (that I've purchased) American made car.

I like the Mariner. It's a great car - and certainly, using only $19.97 cents in gas the past three weeks is GREAT! I'm pretty much on electric the entire trip home each night - and on electric for a portion of my morning commute as well. I'm driving across town a bit in the AM to Starbucks and so the engine uses more gas at higher speeds. But the entirely residential neighborhood 'commute' home is all electric. I love that I fill up every few weeks...and that's a great thing.

But honestly, I don't love the Mariner. It's not as 'nice' as my Honda. There are so many little details that have been left out of this car - and maybe those who have driven American all their lives don't care - but if they'd ever driven an import before and are now driving American, I guarantee you they HAVE noticed. And like me, they probably miss those little niceties.

For example: there is a 'compartment' in the Mariner for glasses. Comes in handy for sun glasses, etc. Except we're currently using that to hold the garage door opener - because one of the missing 'nice touches' is the feature of a built-in button that you program to open your garage. Both my Honda's had it. J's Camry has it. But the Mariner does not - so I have to have an opener with me. So it's in the eyeglass compartment.

And that eyeglass compartment has a 'latch' - you have to physically 'click' the two pieces together to release the latch. On the Honda, you just 'touched' the compartment - a light touch - and it was 'spring loaded' and glided open, all on it's own. I miss that, too.

The Mariner is cheaply made - and it shows in these little details. It sort of bugs me every time I drive it - how you can't defrost the back window and the front window at the same time. NO, I'm not kidding. You can only select ONE option at a time - so you select and sit and wait. Then reselect and sit and wait. It'd really piss me off if I didn't find it kind of amusing.

I also miss having a 'hi/low' setting for my heated leather seats. Yes, the Mariner has them...a nice luxury on cold winter mornings. But the Mariner only has 'on/off' as the option - and the heating mechanism fires up to 'holy crap, my butt's on fire' pretty darn fast...so you turn it off. And then, only moments later, your tush is freezing again - so you turn it on. There's only two option: on or off. The Honda had 'hi and low' which helped with the 'extremely, uncomfortably hot' feeling you eventually got on 'hi'. In the Mariner, it's basically off and then on, with the accompanying 'wow, it's hot!' - no other option but off will resolve that feeling. I miss 'hi/low'.

So it's a bit hard for me to accept that the big three require billions of dollars in bail out money. They require it because, for the most part, they are not building cars that people flock to buy. They are building cars that people 'settle' for. I was feeling 'proud' of our decision to support our economy by purchasing an American made vehicle. But truthfully - it's not a well made car. It's full of compromises -all designed to keep the price down, I'm sure.

I don't begrudge American autoworkers making a decent living. But I'm not sure the product they are working on is ever going to reach the standards of imports. And that is the crux of the issue: we are bailing them out because they have failed to come up with a profitable business plan. They have failed to build a car with features that compete with imports - and they build these 'less-than' cars paying wages that many Americans would give anything to be making. THAT is why they are requiring a bail out. People aren't going to buy these cars - I doubt I will ever purchase another American made car ever again - and until they make a car that people covet, they will continue to require 'bailing out'.

While their CEOs fly everywhere in private jets and bring home millions of dollars in bonuses and incentives, they continue to build marginal cars. That's why they need a bail out. These are extraordinary times - no doubt. I know that if the big three fail, and those workers become unemployed, it will be a blow to our economy that will ripple through the economy for years to come. So maybe just the reality of 'we are where we are and we have to do something to stop the bleeding' is justification enough?

I'm just not sure our tax dollars should be used to bail out failing business plans. I'm not sure that's the right thing to do with our tax dollars.

If Obama were the guy in charge, I'd feel differently. But the guy in office currently does not have my confidence - nor the confidence of most of America - so it's hard to feel confident about anything that's currently being proposed. I don't think any of those people have any idea what they're doing....

One more month. Just one more month. I hope we make it.

Lights, Camera, Action

We have now had the newly acquired artificial tree in our living room for 4 days. It is lit - only because that's how it came out of the box. It is simple and pretty and looks surprisingly beautiful when you see it through the front window as you approach the front door. It's a 'plain Jane' but a pretty Jane, even with no added lights nor any ornaments to speak of. It's hard getting us all in the same place at one time - and/or the same mood at one time - tree trimming is something you have to sort of be 'ready' to do. We have not. The decorations are still in the rafters of the garage and I know J. will get them down probably Friday or Saturday. So we're still very much a 'work in progress' regarding Christmas decor.

I'm loving the white light tree - what I've always wanted, really but it gets vetoed by the men in my life. I think we will be adding lots of lights - some white and some color. And then ornaments, etc. Eventually. But for now, I'm enjoying the simplicity of it all. Sort of sets the mood for focusing on why we celebrate Christmas in the first place - a daily reminder that all the 'fluff and stuff' is just created by us - years and years of 'add ons' that we don't really need. We are, after all, celebrating a birthday - and a simple, white-lit tree is really a beautiful, daily reminder of what this time of year is all about. I kind of like it. If I lived alone, I'd probably leave it as is - maybe just add a few colored glass ornaments to reflect the light - but simple is good.

We have not had a single 'free' evening all week and we don't have any coming up - so I'm not sure when we'll get to it...probably just do a little bit as we can over this coming weekend.

I am officially on the downhill slope to 'vacation'. Excited about it - three weeks off - not quite all off, since I have a couple meetings I have to go to next week. But meetings are quick and easy and I don't mind attending.

Next Wednesday night, I'm attending a Michael W. Smith concert with my friend J. It's a Christmas themed concert with an orchestra and a choir (I think) and then MWS. We are both really looking forward to the evening - just a week away.

I took my team out for a sushi lunch today in honor of the season - and to celebrate a completely clean audit. Not an exception to be found! We had a great time, though we ate way too much and I spent the afternoon in a 'too many carbs' haze that is just now starting to lift. B. is at work, H. is working on his chemistry binder at a friends house and J. is hopefully on the way home and due shortly. He's had a three hour commute one night this week already - a bad accident that took hours to clear - so it is with some trepidation now that I think he'll arrive 'soon'. Soon may be awhile these days. Thankfully, in the 8 years we've lived here, we've only had a handful of those 'horrifically bad commute nights' to speak of. I was really feeling blessed about working so close to home the night he was calling me every hour or so to say he'd traveled 4 miles in that hour. So grateful to not have that be an issue for me anymore.

Heading upstairs to start wrapping. One way to stay vertical, I hope.

Confession

I am not a perfect friend. I screw up on occasion. I am getting old…and crotchety, at times. And I need to remember this: good friends are hard to find and a treasured commodity. I would never, ever knowingly hurt a friend. Ever. EVERRRR.

My life is zooming by these days – I am ‘F cubed’ – frequently frazzled and fragmented. I worry that I’m getting Alzheimer’s – or dementia – seriously. Because I do things, or I don’t do things….or I forget things….or I just blurt out things…that of course, I end up regretting. Alzheimer’s or dementia would be an ‘easy’ excuse for these things. But I know that’s just the ‘easy’ explanation.

I feel like a lot of people do: there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish what needs to be accomplished and still have time for a little sanity-making down time. I dread the phone ringing. Sales calls, friends (at times), family (at times)….and there are times when I’m just not that ‘into’ talking. It’s a bad thing about me…and I acknowledge that it warrants attention. Being ‘short and sweet’ with a sales call is one thing. Being ‘short and sweet’ with a friend or family member is quite another. There’s a balance there and some days, I just don’t have it – no balance. None. I’m going to have to work on that, I think. Should I learn to just not answer the phone when I’m feeling that talking is not something I am up to at that moment? People will call back, right? Or leave a message? When I’m home, I can hand the phone to J., who does most (if not all) the phone answering in our home. But when I’m at work, my options are few and far between. Let every call ring to voicemail? Most are not caller-id’d and I’d be missing calls that are critically important to take.

It’s a fine balance and I need to work on it – seriously, work on it.

If anyone reading this has been on the receiving end of a short and sweet call when a much more in-depth conversation was warranted, you have my complete, total, profuse apology. You deserve better than that from me and I promise you, I will fix it. I promise. Just give me another chance. Please. If I said something that was thoughtless, I’m sorry for that, too. Truly sorry. Lost in my own ‘stuff’ and I shouldn't have been.

The only exception to this is if you are a telemarketer…I know you’re just doing your job but I don’t want to talk to you. Ever. Period.

To all the other really wonderful people in my life – let the calls commence!

Tree

We found a pre-lit tree at the new Lathrop Target - it's 7 1/2 feet - white lights. It doesn't have as many lights as the Costco trees, but that will actually work in our favor, since J. wants to add colored lights to it and the Costco trees were so loaded with white lights, that would have been hard to do. So we're working on moving furniture in the living room and setting up the tree. B. just got home from work so we'll spend a quiet evening tree trimming and enjoying lasagna for dinner.

We also did more shopping and consider the kids 'done' - hopefully, that will hold true...though I'm known for never really being 'done' shopping for Christmas. But I'll try.

I'm watching Chefography on Food Network - all about Duff Goldman, Ace of Cakes. I just stumbled upon it while looking for some kind of 'chick flick' - where is You've Got Mail or American President when you need it?? I've watched the TBS marathon of Harry Potter - with sneak peeks of the upcoming movie, which the boys and I can't WAIT for!

I have to recreate the sweet potato casserole I made for Thanksgiving - J. liked it so much that he wants to take it to his work holiday potluck tomorrow.

Another busy weeks loom...but it's OK. Work is pretty darn good these days, believe it or not!

Adios for now. Time for hot tea, fire in the fireplace and decorating for Christmas. A wonderful evening is about to happen!

Artificial

We finally made the decision to invest in an artificial, pre-lit tree. After looking at them every week at Costco, and wrestling with the 'shift' from a fresh tree to 'fake' (reasons include: less worry of risk of fire; initial expense is a lot but then we're done for years to come; much easier to put up - no more wrestling with lights for J., etc.), we trekked to Costco this morning to get one. And wouldn't you know - they were out. Completely, totally out. Not a single tree in sight. Bummer! We even called the two other stores near us - and they were sold out also. So next year, we will buy earlier - they have the trees well before Thanksgiving and we won't wait so long next time.

So now, we'll be trying to find a 2 hour window of time that we're all free to go pick out a tree. Hopefully get that done tomorrow if at all possible. It's pretty hard to schedule all four of us together at the same time these days - but we'll have to try to figure it out.

We got a lot of Christmas shopping done today. J. is setting up the wrapping table in the bedroom so I can get started on that.

Tomorrow is more of the same. Hoping for a little sun. It's been overcast, cold and 'foggy' all day today. I am OK with cloud cover - but am already wishing for some sun. Just a peek of sun would be nice.

Sync

I'm having trouble with my 'syncing'. I am not able to 'sync' my handheld Blackberry with my work email/calendar system. Used to be able to - no problem. But it stopped working and since I'm not very technically savvy, I haven't been able to figure out what needs to happen to fix it. I am trying diligently to keep up - just entering everything into both. But that's not working. I've missed hair appointments. Come close to missing work meetings until my assistant says 'hey, there's a meeting on your calendar and I don't hear your phone reminder going off'. I have got to get it figured out soon. If I've missed anything with anyone out there, I profusely apologize. The days of me being able to keep track and 'remember' all by myself are apparently over. I can only imagine how hard it will be in a decade, when I'm approaching 50.

We had dinner out tonight - first time in a very long time. It was OK. The service was marginal and the food is not as good lately. I just didn't enjoy it - and I don't like paying money for a meal out that is just 'so-so'. We don't dine out much anymore and if we're paying for a meal, I really want to enjoy it. I don't know how much of the dis-enjoyment factor was more related to the two teen boys with us - or the ambiance, service and food of the place we chose. Hard to know. Still, it was nice to sit and just veg for a bit.

We picked up B's Senior portraits and they're great! I'm going to try to shop for frames this weekend so we can put up some of the great family pics we have now.

Other weekend activities include getting a tree (we're pretty sure we're going 'artificial' and 'pre-lit' this year for many reasons), decorating the house, a bit of shopping and running a few other errands around town. Hopefully some wrapping, writing a Christmas letter for our cards, etc. Typical busy weekend.

That's it for now. Bug, if you're out there...please call me. I'm worried about you....no reason to be but I haven't been able to touch base with you. And I am hoping all is well in your neck of the woods. And I miss you. And if I've missed something - lunch, brunch, etc. - please forgive me. I know it's a stupid excuse - but I'm getting older and it's just hard to remember sometimes. I think I need to carry sticky notes on my wrist or something so I can keep notes easily. Seriously. My pre-occupation with work, kids, etc. is making it impossible for me to retain any other info if I don't write it down. So please, please Bug - call me when you can.

Tracy

Our little town made national news today - the teenager who allegedly escaped from his captors and walked into a gym begging to be rescued was in our town The gym he 'escaped' to was the gym B. goes to daily - just a few miles from our home. The neighborhood this happened in is a typical middle class neighborhood. Wow. You just never know...we all commented 'they look so familiar' (looking at their booking photos online) and we commented 'perhaps because we've seen them at the grocery store, or Target, or the pizza place'. Who knows? In our little town, something so horrible could go unnoticed for some time. That poor young man. I am so glad he made it into the gym to get help. And it's a lesson for all of us - don't be afraid to wonder. To question. If you see a child who doesn't interact in some way - who doesn't respond to you when you try to engage him/her, etc. - don't be afraid to try harder. Don't be afraid to keep trying and when you've tried over and over and get a weird 'vibe' about it, call the police and ask them to do a home check. Tell the police why you feel uncomfortable and insist they make a visit. I don't know what interactions this young man had with the outside world in the time he's been held in that home, but the news reports indicate he was outside now and then. So listen to your gut - and don't be afraid to get involved. I'm not in any way implying that people in the neighborhood are responsible - they most certainly are not. But it just goes to show that you really never know. You can live next door to people for a long time and never really know what's going on in the house. What a strange event. There are news teams all over our town - at the gym, at city hall, at the police station. Our own little slice of 'media frenzy' right here in our town. I never would have imagined.

It is hard to know. When we first moved here, one of H's new little friends (they were 7 at the time) arrived at our door in tears one night saying he'd lost his scooter and he was hoping it was in our garage. It wasn't. He said, crying 'my dad is going to be so mad at me. I have to find that scooter'. He was so scared, so frantic. And we reassured him 'we're sorry we don't have it but it will probably turn up. We'll keep our eyes out for it'. He left crying. And J. and I both sort of looked at each other - and then I said 'how do we know his dad isn't about to beat the crap out of him for losing his scooter?' And we didn't - we didn't have any knowledge what the parents were like, really. That young man is fine - in a fine home, with great parents who discipline him the way we discipline ours: actions have consequences. Don't screw up! - but they would not hurt him. They did not hurt him. I was thinking of that today as the story unfolded - 'cuz we really weren't sure what we should do that night many years ago. Now, I'd probably go over to the house with the child and say 'he was checking with us to see if we have his scooter - we don't, but we'll keep an eye out for it'. Just to get a sense of how the dad was reacting. I wouldn't want to just 'assume' anymore. I'd try to at least talk to the parent myself....at least I think I would. Still, abusers are very adept at hiding their abuse...and as evidenced by the raucous in our little corner of the world today, you never know until all heck breaks loose.

I have prayers for that young man tonight. I am thankful he made his way to people that helped him - and he's safe and healing. And extremely thankful that the other children in that home have been removed. Thank God for that. Now, we wait for the rest of the story.....

Wrinkles

I'm aging - huge surprise, right? My skin is changing. And I've been attempting to counteract the effects of time with huge amounts of moisturizing products. I slather them on - morning, noon and night. But I've become convinced that all the 'anit-aging' products out there - that are supposed to reduce 'fine lines and wrinkles' - actually do the opposite. My wrinkles are GROWING instead of receding. My skin is so incredibly 'moist and supple' that the wrinkles can form more easily - and they stay there. Permanenetly. Makes me crazy. I'm seriously considering Botox. I'd just like to get rid of the gigantic 'worry' wrinkle between my eyes - it's been developing for 48 years now and it's time to give it a rest. Sadly, with two teen boys still under this roof, the 'furrowing of the brow' that created said crater will continue unabated for sometime to come. Oil of Olay be damned.

I am awake and up early this morning - close to heading out the door at just after 6AM. Did my part for the economy and placed a couple internet shopping orders for Christmas gifts. I love never leaving my house and being able to have virtually anything I can imagine delivered right to our door!

B. has been getting up at 5 (second day in a row - not a trend yet, but a beginning. And considering his love of sleep, I am impressed - even if it is only Day 2) to go to the gym. He came home yesterday (Day 1 of 'working out in the morning before school) all energized. Made himself breakfast while H. showered. It went fine and I was glad he was realizing that the only thing he can do to create more time in his day is sleep less. He came home from school, got right to his homework and then worked from 5-9. He's off today for his music lesson. Hoping his motivation to keep up with homework and STILL work out daily will continue. It's better than him getting home from the gym between 10 and 11 and him still having hours of homework to do. Which, we know from his recent report card, he's been choosing not to do.

J. is working at home today so I'm going in early and staying late. Too much to do and not enough hours in the day. I came home last night, laptop in hand, fully prepared to work...but the CD of the memorial service for my dear friend who died in October arrived in the mail. It was sweet of his wife to send it to me - so I listened to the CD for over an hour....then made dinner, tears in my eyes. Headed up to bed around 8:30ish, having decided that work is over-rated and it will keep. It will all get done without working 24/7. Though it often times doesn't feel that way.

It is cold and foggy here - not as cold as it is to my readers back east, I know - but cold for here. We've fired up the heaters on both floors and I frequently issue the proclamation 'put some clothes on' - as kids complain they're cold, while they're wearing shorts and a short-sleeve t-shirt. 'That's why God invented pants' is also a frequent refrain. Argh! Darn kids.

OK - heading to Starbucks where I will shock the Barista by NOT ordering my usual two teas. Today, it's one tea and one Venti Skinny Cinnamon Dulce Latte w/ an extra shot of syrup! It will warm me from the inside, out! Hope you find something in your day that does the same for you!

Creativity

Here are pics of our Color Me Mine efforts - they turned out GREAT and the pictures don't do them justice! They are colorful and bright and look 'professionally done'. We had a terrific time doing them and plan to return there again over the winter break for another round. I love them all - and want J. to make another bowl for a candy dish for my desk at work.

First, H's gecko. The picture really doesn't show it adequately - the colors are superb - and our lighting for pictures is not - I wish you could see it in person. It's brilliant! I'm not a big fan of lizards, but I've commissioned him to make another one to hang in my office at work. I have a few 'empty' spots on the wall and his ceramic art would be perfect.


Here is J's bowl:




Two shots - one from the side and one of the inside. He printed a picture from the computer images they had to select from - but he free handed the entire thing. No tracing, nothing but his paintbrush and palette. He's pretty artistic, I think. This is the second ceramic bowl he's done and I think we're going to be making a bunch more. A set of dishes, perhaps?


And B's guitar pencil holder:

And finally, last but not least, my spoon rest and ring holder. I don't think they are great - but they turned out fine. It's amazing how different they look after the glazing process - the paint was all 'flat' and dull when it was done and it certainly didn't look 'pretty'. But after glazing, they look pretty good - and even I, the least artistic of the bunch, can't wait to try again.

The 'weird' look surrounding the spoon rest is the work of my trusty assistant who took the picture on his desk and had a bunch of stuff on the side of the pics - the edge of papers, pencils, etc. So instead of retaking the picture and re uploading (which he says requires him to reboot his computer every time - seems like a tech wizard like him ought to be able to figure it out) - but since I'm at his mercy when it comes to uploading pictures, I just have to believe him. So he used Photoshop to sort of 'mask out' the peripheral junk in the picture. I told him I most definitely would be adding a note about it, lest the readers think there was something gross all over the desk. There is not. Just my husband practicing his Photoshop cloning skills. They need work, I think. [Thanks, my sweet, for always helping me when I add photos to the blog. I think we need to get some better lighting - it's hard to get the true colors using the light we have in the study. Perhaps we should try taking the photos during daylight? Yeah, that would probably help, too - but I always seem to blog in the wee hours of the morning or the evening hours before retiring for the evening.

We are adding ceramics to our list of 'fun things to do together'. It was great and I can't wait to do some other stuff. When we were in the shop, there was a young lady there who had been making project after project with her mom - she was there by herself this time, making her mom a huge clock for the wall. It was so cool. The shop owner's dad (who is J's friend) said they can special order just about anything you can think of. I'm going to ask if the ceramics will hold up outside and maybe do some pots for the patio? Or have H. make a frog for Frog Corner or a hippo for Hippo Corner in the yard. That would be a lot of fun!

PS - we didn't really want text to be up in between the two last pics - but we can't figure out what to do to fix that. Oh well.

Inspired

Steven Curtis Chapman has been nominated for Most Inspiring Person of '08. Please check out the nominees here and vote for the one that inspires you the most - there are some really amazing people nominated this year, including Randy Pausch and Christina Applegate.

Having seen Steven in concert this year - and witnessed 'first hand' the level of his faith and his ability to touch people with that faith - he is my first choice. But Randy and Christina are also incredibly inspiring people. All the nominees are.

Check it out :

http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Most-Inspiring-2008/vote.aspx

I will need all the inspiration I can muster to get up at 4 tomorrow and start a busy week. It's been great waking up at 4 or 5, making a quick trip to the bathroom and heading back to bed for 3 or 4 more hours of sleep. Not going back to sleep will be a hard thing - but do-able. Only two weeks and then I'll have THREE WEEKS OFF!! That's a pretty good incentive for getting my butt in gear early to get what I need to get done, DONE.

Have an inspiring week. There is much to be inspired about -

Cold

The thermostat says it's 69 in here. It feels far colder - but I won't turn on the heat since the temp says it's above 68. Made myself a chai tea instead...extra hot and with whip cream! Don't usually have that in the house but post-Thanksgiving feast, we still have a bit in the fridge.

Just me and Chloe this afternoon. J. and boys went to Hayward for their second Thanksgiving feast. Took the Wii and the poker set with them - won't be returning until late this evening. I'm watching my DVD's of McMillan and Wife.

Last night was an 'old movie' wonder night - Yours, Mine & Ours, With Six You Get Eggrolls and Please Don't Eat the Daisies - three of my favorites! Taped them all so I can watch them over and over again. It was a nice evening of movies and leftovers.

J. helped clean up this morning - reloaded the dishwasher for the second (or possibly third?) time - and in the process, sliced his thumb open. I'm pretty sure we should have considered having it stitched - it was still bleeding a couple hours after the initial cut. But we had company coming - so he just kept pressure on it and used a band aid to keep it clean. I think he'll live.

The company we were expecting around 10ish didn't arrive until after 11. No problem. However, they arrived hungry - and we were not prepared to serve lunch. Most of the leftovers were all packed up to transport to Hayward for their dinner - and we didn't have enough bread to make sandwiches for everyone. So they ended up stopping for fast food on the way out of town - not money I really wanted to spend but not realizing we would be serving lunch led to not having anything really available to eat. Sort of bugs me - I try really hard to be a good hostess - but in this case, I offered some chips to stave off the kids hunger pangs and figured they'd eat on their way out of town. That's the thing about my husband's family - the communication isn't great. They arrive early. Or they arrive late. We never really know what to expect, nor what the plan is. And they sort of assume that we will end up feeding them regardless of when they get here - which I wouldn't mind if my husband would let me know that's the plan. Had we known what the plan was, we could have prepared brunch - or lunch. But not knowing means there wasn't anything ready to fix. We could have cooked pizzas but that would have taken 30 minutes or more. Again - do-able, had we known lunch was expected. It's all in the planning - and there's none of that with these folks. Makes me crazy. 19 years of crazy.

The weather is dreary. I'm not shopping today - none of the 'early-bird' specials were worth getting up at the crack of dawn for. Just hanging out at home, trying to stay warm. Pulling out my work laptop momentarily to start working on my report. Procrastination is the hardest thing to shake - trying so hard to do a little each day vs. pulling off some incredibly long, marathon days this coming week to get it done.

Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one - and I hope you are enjoying leftovers today! Especially pie! Pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Pipes

The plumber arrived. Had me running up and down the stairs multiple times, flushing both of the upstairs toilets. Perhaps I should have requested the plumber on-call today with the best hearing? 'Cuz this guy didn't have good hearing. He heard what I heard - once. Then wasn't sure what to do. Changed out the innards of the toilet tank. Took the connector off and ran the water out from the wall to confirm the noise wasn't from there. It appears it's the pipes in the wall, that have (we hope) just loosened from their 'brace' and are now rattling a bit every time the toilet is flushed. Seems logical. But I still worry. This house has had plumbing problems and so I constantly look for issues: noises, signs of leaking water, etc. So far, it's just a sound. We are taking a wait and see approach. It was $85 less the $10 coupon from the last time they were here. Oh well. We'll get another $10 coupon in the mail shortly. When the office called to be sure he'd arrived, I said yes - and she said 'was everything satisfactory?' I said 'yes, though I'm not sure he knows what the issue is - so we're sort of waiting to see if anything else happens. Hopefully, nothing will.

So, I've been incredibly productive, since I was basically trapped in the house. So far, I've:

Caught up on correspondence. Including sending in the $4 winning Power Ball ticket from our trip to Arizona. This is actually (confessing now) the 2nd time I've sent it in - 'cuz apparently, the first time I sent it in, I sent the non-winning ticket. Got a nice letter on really nice stationary to thank me for playing the Arizona Lottery and to advise my ticket was not a winner. THIS ticket most definitely is.

Also advised the pool guy that December will be the last month we pay for our pastor's pool service - something we did when he and his family first moved here. But we're cutting back....

Sent a notice to the music store that December will be B.'s last month of lessons. It's getting harder and harder for him to wedge in lessons with work, school and social life. And he hasn't had his drums out for ages. It's $120 a month we can use elsewhere - like our savings account.

Put our Netflix membership on hold for three months. Will either cancel all together or go to the $5/month option - we currently pay $18/month, which means we can have three movies out at a time. But I have a very hard time keeping track of all those movies - especially the ones the kids want me to get. They'd rather just go to Blockbuster anyway - and it's torture for them to order a movie from Netflix and have to wait to get it. So we'll probably stop that expense also.

Cleaned out the three 'desk' drawers in the kitchen. Basically three junk drawers. One is sort of 'hardware' stuff and keys - we call it the key drawer. The other two are an assortment of stuff - take out menus, pens, pencils, pictures. Oh, and dozens of the 'Box Tops for Education', which I carefully sorted out. Some were expired. Those that aren't are sitting here next to me waiting to be neatly trimmed. Then those that are expiring at the end of December will go into a special envelope. I'll take all of them to school with me on Monday and dole them out among the schools that collect them. At 10 cents each, it really does add up - and the kids could use the money for anything. I've been saving them for years. Time to start taking them in more often so they don't expire.

Also, we will not bring another colored pencil into this house! There must be three boxes of pencils in one of the drawers. I sorted them out, put them in a pencil tray and will insist that we do not need more pencils. Or erasers. Regular pencils. Pens. Rubber bands. Staples. Etc. I also found some cute pics that I'll try to scan and post shortly. Memories....

Cleaned out the catalog cupboard - more and more arrive daily (it's the shopping season, you know) so I try to eliminate duplicates.

Tidied up outside a teeny bit. Tossed some old dog toys and various other items that were just lingering around. It's starting to look like rain is imminent so I wanted to pick things up a bit before we get the wet weather starting. Also watered the indoor plants. They needed it. I tend to forget once the weather gets cooler.

I haven't had the TV on all day -

Since I was trapped here all day, I have a gazillion errands to run tomorrow - which means J. will be running them. I have to work a bit tomorrow - it's too big of a report to leave to the last minute and I don't want to end up working all weekend. Though as I type that, I think 'well maybe working Fri, Sat & Sun would be better.' But friends are also working tomorrow (at other districts) and it's nice to have help for questions, etc. So I'll have to think about that. I know this: it will get done. It's always time consuming and frantic but it's get done.

Just had my dinner - made a big pot of pinto beans for burritos, etc. I couldn't wait - they are en route but stuck in traffic. So I ate without them. Time to feed Chloe who is frantic with hunger. She's been wanting to eat earlier and earlier lately - she starts whining for food at around 3. Getting her to wait until between 4 and 5 takes nerves of steel. Silly puppy. She's most definitely NOT starving, as evidenced by her sausage like proportions.

Think I might bake some ginger cookies. Hungry for something sweet.

500th

This is my 500th post! And because of that auspicious occasion, I will be focusing on things that are hugely, monumentally important. ......

Plumbing. Yes, plumbing.

I should be in my office around this time, working away. But instead, I am sticking close to home, awaiting the arrival of a plumber.

Remember the story about the van? How I was sure it 'felt' different and 'sounded' different - and J. sort of said 'I don't hear anything'. Not sort of, really. That's exactly what he said - shortly before my transmission failed miserably, leaving me stranded in French Camp and requiring a tow.

This is sort of like that. The downstairs toilet has been 'sounding' funny for a couple days when it's flushed. It's still flushing fine - no issue. No issue with any other toilet in the house, either. But today - as we prepare for Thanksgiving and the cleaning crew who are arriving any minute - the noise is unmistakeably BAD. No other word is appropriate - there is something majorly wrong in the pipes in the wall. Sounds really bad in there. And because a friend at work just told me how her sewer has backed up into her home FOUR TIMES since they've lived there, I'm a bit nervous....so I've summoned a plumber. Which means instead of heading into my office, I'm piddling around the house - resisting the urge to clean frantically - because I am paying someone to do that for me in about an hour.

500th post....wow, it's a doozy. I should be all profound and sentimental, but you get what you get - plumbing.

Here's to another 500 - and to not having the bill be more than I can manage from our checking account...still 3 days from payday.

Thanks for reading, whoever you are (and you know I know who you are). I love writing. I love being able to look back and remember things as I've memorialized them. I love having a place to say what I think and feel - to work out things as I'm typing away. I love that this blog will outlive me. I love that I'm going to get to write all the funny things my grand kids do and say, which will help soften the reality that I didn't do much of that for my own kids. And I wish I had been blogging when they were little 'cuz they did and said some hysterical stuff. Though it's all just a dim memory these days.

Come back soon! Love having you stop by! Thanks for being my sounding board!

Color

We spent this afternoon visiting Color Me Mine in Tracy. We went primarily because a long time friend of J's daughter is the owner of the franchise and the friend (one of J's band mates from long ago) was helping his daughter out by working there this afternoon. The place was very crowded and busy - not really conducive to visiting. But we all selected items and sat down and started painting. We had a fun time. B. did a guitar shaped pencil holder. H. painted a Gecko. I did a spoon rest ('cuz you can never have too many especially in a house with boys where more spoon rests have lost their lives than I can count) and a ring holder (I've been baking and need a safe place to put my rings so I don't get dough in them). J. did a fantastic deep bowl - it's going to be so pretty. They were all really cool looking and will be even better once they're put in the kiln. Can't wait to pick them up. I will try to post pics of our creations later this week. It was the first relatively pleasant time we've had as a family in a long time.

I worked a bit today and will return to work tomorrow. J. is taking the boys and one friend each to the big auto show in San Francisco tomorrow. The cleaning crew is here tomorrow also, so that's a great reason for me to vacate the premises. I'll continue working on the big report that's due to the Board on the 9th and also work on culling out some files, etc. I've made significant progress on getting rid of old stuff, tidying up desk drawers, etc.

We still have a bit of grocery shopping to finish - J. will help me with that on Wednesday. We'll try to get up and get there early before the place gets totally mobbed.

The location of my former company where I worked for a decade (before I took the college job) is closing. 1,200 people are losing their jobs - some of whom are good friends. I feel sad for them - change is never easy and certainly, losing your job in this economy, and during the holiday season SUCKS. I feel kind of 'glad' that I left when I did - I'm seven years ahead of where they are now. And I've moved into a more stable industry - the budget for education is unstable - but there are always kids who need education and there is always a need for a business person to manage the money, do the reports, etc. So I feel good about being 'safe'. Though we will not receive any raise for the foreseeable future, it could be worse. Much worse. I'm thankful for the stability a 'public' job offers.

My friend J. sent me an email last week about a concert in Modesto - Michael W. Smith! And we actually got two tickets - so Dec. 17th, she and I will be sharing a(nother) faith-filled evening. Can't wait. We were so lucky - she heard about the concert on the radio that morning and we quickly went to the website and got two balcony seats! (We don't like being on the floor 'cuz people tend to stand up the entire time and we don't want to do that).

I have a sleeping dog on my lap - she's all wrapped up in a blankie 'cuz it's chilly and her human mommy is too thrifty to turn the furnace on! She's liking being cuddly, I think. I'll be having a hot flash any minute and consequently, will likely be wishing she would take her hot, blanket-wrapped body somewhere else.

I'm getting old....getting old. So obviously getting old.

Remembering

Happy Birthday, Mom. Hoping the party in heaven was a blast and the cake was the best! You would have been 84 today - and I wonder what age you are now? Do you stay the age you were when you left this earth? Or do you get to pick any age you'd like? Or are you starting over and you age much slower? I wonder how it works. Or perhaps, age is completely irrelevant in heaven - I suspect it doesn't much matter what age you are. Jesus is 2,008 years old, after all - and I'm sure he still looks the same as he did when he was on this earth.

We are thinking of you today. And someday, I'll see you again.

Blah

So, my Tuesday continued to be just pissy. Literally...

Board meeting went great. It also went long, as expected. We actually took a break - which we never do. I had been feeling 'uncomfortable' - bladder wise. And was pretty sure I was feeling symptoms of a bladder infection. And when we took a break - I knew. Totally knew. Wow. The pain was excruciating. It came on so fast - literally feeling absolutely fine at our 5:30 dinner and by 7PM, I was a mess.

I honestly considered driving straight to the emergency room after the meeting - I was THAT miserable. But I headed home and J. quickly offered to do anything he could to help. So he headed out to find Azo-Standard (which I couldn't remember the name of for the life of me - but the Internet and Google found the info). Isn't it just great that those magic teeny pills that make you pee bright orange are now available over the counter? Thank goodness. Took two and headed to bed - and miraculously, slept pretty well. Next morning, I headed to Safeway to get cranberry juice. Drank that and water all day yesterday - and greatly improved. I still felt not great in the evening (Weds.) and I headed to bed at 5:40 - AND slept until 5AM this morning. Woke up feeling great. Symptoms completely gone...at least so far. I also had a sore throat and headache all day yesterday - but I feel great today and I'm so glad 'cuz I was reallly worried I was getting the bug B. had (he's recovered now, thank goodness. The kid can't afford to miss any school at this point - he just missed one day).

Have had a busy but very productive week. Knocking off one thing after another on the massive 'to do' list. Trying to be off as much as possible next week - though I will definitely be working part of M-T-W. The schools are closed all week but I have a big report due and if I don't work next week, I will leave myself very little time to get it done. So I'd rather work a bit during a very quiet week and get a lot done with no interruptions. I can come in late (sleep in a bit) and leave whenever I want - allowing time for turkey shopping, etc. So I'm good with that.

One more work day this week - hopefully, it will also be significantly productive and I might even get a head start on all my M-T-W stuff. Might bring my laptop home and try to work in some work time at home this weekend as well. Every little bit will help.

We are planning a quiet Thanksgiving at home - just the four of us. I'm really looking forward to it just being us. It's the same amount of cooking, cleanup, etc. - but it's not 'company'. No feeling like there has to be constant conversation. Etc. I'm just looking forward to quiet time, good food, without all the hoopla. We're making extra food and on Friday, J. will join his brothers in Hayward for leftovers and football. And the kids will go with him - so I will enjoy a quiet afternoon alone.

And, because it's just us, I might get brave enough to try some new recipes. Nothing too non-traditional - we won't have salmon for dinner. But some different sides might be good - I'm in the mood to cook some new recipes to go with all the old favorites. Just for fun.

That's it for now. I had dinner with a friend in Manteca and I'm stuffed and sleepy. I'm heading to bed shortly.

Pissy

I am home for a 'break'. It's a Board night - and likely a late Board night. So having arrived in my office just after 7, I'm taking a 2 hour break to give myself some R&R time....only that isn't exactly how it's worked out.

J. is working from home today and advised me - just now - that B. is failing his math class. FAILING as in "F". Which is problematic on so many levels....where do I begin? Should I mention that this is the 2nd time he's taken this class, hoping to improve on the "D" that's currently on his transcript? Or that he spent last year in a math class specifically designed to help him improve his math grade in the class he got a "D" in. So obviously, that's not working out too well. Or should I mention that he's partly failing because he's not doing the homework - he told J. 'it's only 5% of my grade' (apparently forgetting that doing homework is what helps you master the material, which means his test/quiz grades suck also). And as if that's not bad enough - just choosing to not do homework 'cuz you think it's not that big of a deal - he's been lying to us for weeks. Every time he leaves the house for the gym, or band, or a date - and we inquire 'have you done all your homework?' He's been answering 'yes' to that question, which is a lie. A plain old, ordinary lie. And he's been going out, having fun - band gigs, recording studios, dates, gym....etc. All while asserting that he's keeping up with his school work. Lies. All lies. To say he's restricted doesn't even begin to cover it.

On a good note, I currently consider it a $20K savings 'cuz at this moment, three months into the school year (he couldn't hold it together for even three full months before deceit and lack of effort re-enter his academic career), I have no intention of sending him to a four year school next year. I don't give a crap what his AVID coordinator says. Not going to happen. If he wants it to happen, he'll have to do it on his own dime - burn through all of his personal $$ - for one year on his own. Let him spend HIS money experiencing what it's like to NOT work hard at college. He thinks high school is 'tough'? Just wait.

And then, I discover that my other son has messed with a possession of mine - and rendered it 'ruined'. Not really, but to me, it is. And I'm so frickin' pissed about it - how he can't just keep his hands off my stuff. How he assumes that he has free reign over any object that is in this house. And at the moment, I'm up to HERE with living in a house with three 'men'. I have no bathroom space 'of my own'. No space EVER where my stuff STAYS MY STUFF. It's all fair game. Free for all. And messed with regularly. I also, just last week, discovered my ENTIRE PACK of disposable razors IN THE SHOWER. SIX OF THEM. And it's most definitely NOT ME that put SIX CLEARLY GIRL RAZORS in the shower. It's THEM. Those kids. Those MALE kids. What in God's name are they shaving, anyway? I don't want to know. I can't even keep a decent razor in the house before it's messed with. And of course, neither of them 'did it'. No, 'not me'...not them. Some phantom shaving junkie who's quite possibly hairless apparently did it - 'cuz it's sure not them.

I know it's irrational. I know it - but honest to Pete, it's pissed me off something fierce. I just want him/them to leave my stuff alone. Is that too much to ask?

Then, J. left to pick up H. (who had to be picked up so that he could retrieve his phone from the school office, because it was TAKEN from him by school personnel for the 2nd time in three weeks. In fact, he JUST GOT IT BACK with a new improved set of 'restrictions' and lost it AGAIN yesterday) and tells me via a quick phone call 'oh, and don't forget the electrician's coming around 4. I should be back by then, but if I'm not, you know what to tell him.' Uh, no, I have no idea why we've hired an electrician. And I reminded him that we are on a BUDGET and we have $xxx.xx left until next payday and holy heck - how much is this little project going to cost us??? Thankfully, he made it back in time. There was a knock on the door around 3:20, though, and I was ready to freak out at the arrival of the electrician 40 minutes early - having just discovered H's messing with my 'possession' debacle'. Luckily, it was a carpet cleaning sales person...I said 'no, thank you' and quickly closed the door.

Oh great! J. just informed me that the reason B. just went upstairs to bed is because he's sick. He thinks he has the flu. Great. I assumed he didn't talk to me much when he got home 'cuz he knew I was less than thrilled with the realization that he's been lying ....and is (once again, third year in a row) failing his math class. Tylenol is being rendered. We can't find it, though, 'cuz H. took some last night for a headache and DIDN'T PUT IT BACK IN THE MEDICINE CABINET WHERE IT BELONGS. B. said 'I didn't tell you 'cuz I thought you'd be mad'. I replied 'I'm not mad about you being sick [resisting the urge to lecture him on how he's not getting near enough sleep - what with his heavy social life and everything] - but I am mad at you about your math grade. But we can talk about that another time. Take your Tylenol and go to sleep.'

Life is good. I'm going back to work. It's becoming more fun there, than here. Never thought I'd say THAT.

I Didn't Know

I didn't know that the last time I saw you......

would be the last time I saw you.


I didn't know that my urge to call you in recent months....

was for a reason. I didn't. I'm sorry.


I didn't know that your death would leave a hole in my heart....

but it has...and while I'm moving forward with less visible signs of grief, it is still there. That feeling that the entire world should KNOW that something in my life is not right is with me all the time - but they don't know. And they won't. I have a good poker face.


I didn't know how easy it would be to let go....

and yet, as hard as it is, it is OK. As predicted, my day to day life has not changed. Other than the frequent thoughts of you, which I apparently always had and didn't realize were as often as they are - only now, they are so prevalent - because they are met with 'oh, he's not here anymore. He's gone.' A tear in my eyes still arrives on a regular basis - but then it's gone, and life goes on.


I didn't know that faith takes on an entirely different meaning....

but it has. Your death is the first death I've experienced since my relationship with God became my most important relationship. And there is huge comfort in that faith - in knowing that you are not gone. You are just not on this earth. And I know I will see you someday. And I'm happy about that. And happy for you....because you are with Him and there's no better place to be, for a Christian. You said the Lord's prayer every night before dinner - and now, whenever I say it, I think of you. Still. Forever. Always.

I love you and I still miss you. And I always will.