Sunday, May 28, 2006

Hummingbird II

I napped yesterday. I'm a big napper and most weekends, (especially Saturdays), I try to get in a nap between 1 and 3. So with J. and the kids in Tulare visiting J's brother, I indulged in a much needed, very good nap.

While I napped, something knocked the hummingbird nest off the windchime. When I headed outside to get the mail, the nest was gone form the windchime. I found it, empty - no shells, no nothing - on the ground below the chime. It looks like a bird of some kind knocked it off and ate the contents. OR, there never was anything in the nest and she was tending to nothing - which doesn't make sense.

There's still plenty of time for her to build another nest, so we'll see if she does.

Friday, May 26, 2006

It's

now or never.

I have decided to give up sleep. Not all sleep. Just an hour or so. See, the thing is: I figure we can either sleep in everyday until 6AM and die young, OR we can rise at 5, head downstairs and out the door for a walk before we return home to shower and get ready for work. Heck, I'm in hormone hell lately anyway and frequently awaken at 4ish. Going back to sleep at that hour leads me to waking up when the alarm goes off (the first time - I hit snooze MANY, MANY times after) at 5:30 feeling like I've been hit by a truck - groggy, sleepy, grumpy, dopey. You get the picture. So I might as well just get up and get moving. I'll feel better.

We simply MUST do this. Neither of us is motivated enough after a long day at work and long commutes to come home and head out to walk/ride/whatever. So we don't. Consequently, we are getting too large in certain places and we simply can't sit around doing nothing. If we don't start to MOVE MORE, we will not live long enough to spend our vast fortune. And we certainly don't want to leave a gazillion dollars to our children, lest they become self-centered, spoiled beings existing on the hard work of their parents for the rest of their lives. We could of course, leave all our money to some obscure charity like 'Save the Wombats' - and I periodically threaten the kids with doing just that - but there's no fun in Wombats. They won't appreciate it. I hope to live a really long time and spend our retirement savings. Travel, etc. Which we won't be able to do if we don't MOVE, NOW.

So, I have convinced J. that we are going to arise early together and head out the door together in the early morning hours and move our asses. If the two of us help cajole the other, we will do it. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor dead of morning can stop us. Yeah, right.

Seriously, J. We are GOING to do this. I love you and want us both to live a long, long time. We have a lot of fun times ahead sans children and I want to be around to enjoy them and want you by my side. I'm just saying -

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

McDonald's

When the kids were little, we hung out at McDonald's a lot. The boys attended a private school across town from our home, so if there was any kind of school activity or someplace we needed to be after school, we headed to McDonald's for Happy Meals and Playland. Our toyboxes were a testament to the kids' fondness for Happy Meals - little tiny toys everywhere. And if you ask the kids about Mom's Teenie Beanie madness (my recipe for French Fry Frittata will [thankfully] go with me to my grave), they will recall many, many trips through the drive through for Happy Meals - where I took the toys and added them to my collection and they ate the meals. LOTS of them.

The boys will now have nothing to do with eating there. They think the burgers are gross ('too greasy') and no longer care about the toys inside the Happy Meals nor the Playland. So we never go there anymore.

I love Quarter Pounders with cheese. Love them. And I still think McD's fries are the best around. So today, while I take a comp day and run errands, etc. in preparation for H's big day tomorrow, I treated myself to a QP and fries. YUMMY.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Growth

H. is turning the big THIRTEEN this Thursday. Amazing. He's also growing like crazy and in a few months, will be taller than me - finally catching up to his feet which are freakishly large in comparison to the rest of him. But it appears he's going to grow far taller than we thought and his feet will no longer be so out of proportion with the rest of him. Thank goodness. The kid's been looking like something from Ringling Brothers with his gigantic feet on such a small-framed, lean body.

He's very excited about being a 'teenager'. We are making the traditional 'Happy 13th Birthday' poster which I didn't realize was a tradition until he asked about it. We made a giant foam-board poster for B. on his 13th and he still has it proudly displayed in his room. So H, wants the same thing. We went to Michael's today and picked up our poster supplies and I've added that to my 'Home To Do' list (not to be confused with my 'Work To Do' list) and will get it done tomorrow night.

We have a busy week coming - it's the time of year when there is a constant stream of awards banquets, concerts, open houses, etc. It feels like we're never home. Today, my 'secret weapon' was actually closing up the laptop and putting it the cupboard above the desk so I wouldn't be tempted to play games, read blogs, etc. for a good chunk of the day. We worked on cleaning out the garage, tidying up the house, the laundry mountain that reappears every weekend, etc.

J. is getting a new car this week - a hybrid Camry. B. will 'get' J.'s old care - a 2001 Acura TL. Not too shabby for a kid to have for his first car. B. is still a few months away from getting his permit - but I'm really looking forward to his being able to schlep himself to and from next year. I can have my 'flexible departure time' from work back once he can drive and I'll be glad for that return. I leave in a rush everyday no matter how well I try to plan my leaving and my desk is a wreck.

So posting may be few and far between this week but I'll try to catch up on the weekend. We leave for Hawaii in a little over 2 weeks - can't wait. Well, I can sort of wait - the plane ride to and from is not something I'm looking forward to. J. says he'll have me drink a couple mimosas or something on the plane and hopefully, I'll just sleep through the whole 'we're flying over an ocean for FIVE HOURS' part of the trip. Our return flight has us leaving Maui at 11PM and flying all night long, so sleeping through that flight should be relatively easy. I hope so.

Aloha.

Hummingbird

For the second year, we have a hummingbird nesting. She built her tiny nest on the wooden top panel of a windchime. Her selection of location didn't seem logical to me until J. pointed out that she chose something that moves with the wind - and since it is very windy here a lot of the time, she chose well. The windchime is just slightly under our front porch awning, so she's protected from rain. When it's windy, she'll get a 'ride' on the chime, but the nest seems pretty sturdy and doesn't look like it will blow off or anything. It's pretty 'fixed' onto the wooden platform.

Last year, she laid two eggs and they hatched. For reasons we don't understand, she abandoned the nest and the hatchlings died. We are hopeful this year that she'll raise them until they can fly on their own and to that end, are doing are very best to ignore her. When we leave through the front door, we barely glance up and we NEVER stop and look. Yesterday, we left to run errands and I noticed she wasn't sitting - I paniced, but J. pointed to her in our garden, eating from flowers.

They are such amazing creatures and one of my mom's favorites. The pictures I have from her (no, siblings, I have not forgotten them - there are hundreds of slides and converting them to disc has been more problematic than I ever imagined. If we can't figure out how to make it work with the latest of several scanners we've purchased for this project, then we're just going to bite the bullet and pay to have them done for us...I digress, sorry)...so anyway, my mom's slides have lots of up close pictures of hummingbirds. For her painting, I think.

They are so pretty and so incredibly small. Her nest is the size of a Nyquil cup. I've been researching - they will hatch in 14 days and will be ready to leave the nest about 24-30 days after that. It isn't unusual for a mother to build a new nest and lay another set of eggs while still caring for her first babies. Maybe that's what she did last year only she forgot to come back.

I hope they make it. Our garden is full of salvia, nasturtiums, snapdragons, butterfly bushes, etc...all in full bloom and ready to feed how ever many babies she can have this breeding season. I'll keep you posted.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mother's Day

Today is 'my' day. The day my family celebrates me and treats me like a queen. Honestly, I'm treated pretty royally most of the time - no complaints - but today is extra special. We started with brunch, ran a few errands (gas for the van, a few groceries, allergy stuff from Long's 'cuz I'm absolutely miserable) and then home. Eeked out a few 'chores' from the boys and then we hit the pool. 78 degrees today - takes your breath away when you first get in but after that, it's heavenly. The dogs explore the 'jungle' which surrounds the pool - lap after lap around the perimeter of the yard, through the shrubs, flowers, etc. Over and over. They stop now and then to 'check in' - come over to the pool's edge and sniff our hands. I even got Chloe to sit in my lap while I floated in the pool chair - but she wasn't that interested and was more content to have a nibble of Chex Mix when she got out. And the boys practice hand stands and avoiding wasps or bees. A nice relaxing afternoon. Nap will begin shortly.

The last time I spoke to my Mom was Mother's Day, 2000. She was already 'out of it' a good majority of the time and the conversation was short. I wished her Happy Mother's Day and she barely acknowledged me. Told her I loved her - no response. She died two weeks later.

I miss my mom. I think of her everyday. I'm lucky that while her death was sad and hard, I felt prepared for it. She hadn't been a part of my day-to-day life in quite sometime - we were drifting apart a lot the years before her death. So I had already 'let go' a lot - which was probably a good thing. There was a time when, next to Jim, I considered my mom my best friend. Losing her as my mother was hard enough - if she had still been my 'best friend', I would have been devastated when she died. I was sad and regret-full but able to move on fairly quickly. I had lived in a different state for over 20 years when she died so wasn't seeing her everyday...so the 'loss' was hard, but didn't change my daily life all that much, which I think made it a lot easier.

Mother's Day every year since she's died has been horrificly hard. I am consumed with the loss. When we were shopping this morning, I saw zillions of people picking up last minute stuff for their mom's - pastries, cards, flowers. Saw daughters with their mom's at brunch and shopping and felt so alone, it was hard to breath. Today is the day I miss her most...and it's so hard to 'celebrate' with the boys when my heart is breaking. I know someday, B. & H. will know what it's like to 'celebrate' with their families when they don't have a mom here anymore.

I've been dreaming a bit about my mom lately, which is fairly rare. I dream we are at our beach cabin - we don't own it anymore and I'm never really sure that we're 'supposed' to be there - but we stay a few days, piddle around, walk the beach together, etc. Just like in the 'good old days'. I like those dreams. Feel connected to her and feel like she's visiting me for a short time. I hope she is.

I miss you, Mom. I know most days, it probably doesn't look like I do - but I do. I really do.

PS - B. & H.: Thank you for making my day so amazingly special - and thank you both for being the reasons I AM A MOM. You are both so incredible and I am so, so blessed to have you in my life. There are no words to tell you how much I adore you both. [Now please go clean your bedrooms, 'kay?].

I thanked B. for making me a mom and he said 'well, uh, technically, Dad did that' ...so, a big thank you to J. who is the guy who assisted in the creation of the two sons I adore. Thank you for being their dad and for being so wonderful. I love you very much.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Forgot

Things I forgot to say to K. today at our last visit (which I will write here and she won't read for months but oh well - proof positive that while I started writing for her to read, I keep writing 'cuz I love it).

1) If an auto broker shows up at your office someday saying he's been instructed to help you acquire any vehicle your heart desires, you'll know we've hit the lottery - if budget permitted, I would have shown up today with a brand-spanking new Jag and someday, I just might.
2) I think one or both of my kids will be famous someday - so if they are and you want tickets, you know where to reach me.
3) I'm glad our years together were enjoyable for you. Glad I made you laugh. Remembering how to laugh took awhile and I'm glad I found that voice again, too.
4) Thanks for listening. REALLY listening. And for being there. And for ......

March

I'm starting to think maybe I will just do a monthly post and call it what it is - whatever month we're in.  Here we are winding dow...