I am just as shocked as everyone else about who John McCain has chosen to be his running mate. I don't know about you, but I don't think a woman who was 'just a normal hockey Mom' 20 months ago should be second in line to command the most powerful nation in the world. (Are we still the most powerful nation in the world? I'm not sure we are...nor sure we should be if we are...but so be it). Anyhoo, so if anything happens to McCain, she'll be our President. I don't think so, folks. That's just not a risk I think we should be taking.
I don't want McCain to win. Period. And I have a lot of fear about if he wins - if the Republicans remain in office for another 4 or 8 (God forbid) years. Fear. But now, in addition to fearing another 8 years of a war we shouldn't be in; or 8 years of sending troops hither and yon just because we can; or 8 years of an economy spiraling downward into an abyss; etc., now I get to add 'fear of being governed by a hockey mom' to my list.
The rhetoric being spun by the Republicans is already rampant and very well rehearsed. Last night, some guy was commenting on TV and I actually asked J. 'did you just rewind it and replay that segment?'. He said 'no, but you're right - he just said exactly what he said 12 seconds ago, word for word'. It was stunning. They rehearse and rehearse and say it over and over and over. Ridiculous. They appear to have absolutely no free thought whatsoever. Our current President has literally every word out of his mouth scripted - and the current Republican candidates and their pundits are doing the same thing. The spiel is the spiel and we must not deviate from the spiel seems to be their mantra.
Add to that the 'story' about her announcing to her staff that she was 7 months pregnant - they had no idea - and she looked like she just ate a big pasta meal the night before. So, there's some speculation that her 5th child is actually her grandson. It's interesting. I'm waiting for that interesting question to blow up in the press shortly. For now, they are being cautious and careful because it will horribly affect a teenager - and I don't want this woman elected but I, too, draw the line at trashing a teenage girl for no reason. But there are some issues and questions that need to be asked. The 'story' of his birth doesn't make sense in so many ways. So watch for that 'cuz it will surface eventually.
My immediate reaction upon hearing she was the VP candidate was 'crap - what a brilliant move. He'll get all the Hilary supporters votes now'. But now, the more I hear her speak, and the more I learn about her, I think 'no way. She won't gain him any new supporters. And in fact, she just might cause him to lose a few'. She's not VP material. She's a hockey mom, for crying out loud. She's not ready to assume the position of Commander in Chief should something happen to McCain - and hey, no offense to the guy but he's old. Really old.
Vote for Obama/Biden. Please. Think this through. We are in a war we never should have started. WE started it. Because G.W. Bush wanted us to be in a war. That's his legacy. Don't let that be the next president's legacy also. Vote Obama/Biden. The time for change is NOW.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Christ
I've mentioned the death of Maria Sue Chapman - 5 year old daughter of Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman. Steven is one of my favorite Christian music artists.
I have watched the various interviews and commented about them in this blog - and I've just finished listening to the 3 days of interviews from Dr. James Dobson's interview with Steven on Dr. Dobson's Focus on the Family website.
I'm so grateful for the Internet - for it's ability to connect people and to share information. The interviews done with the Chapman family on Larry King Live and Good Morning America were good interviews - but in the final segment of the Focus on the Family interviews, Dr. Dobson reveals that one of those shows interviewed and filmed the family for over 5 hours - and edited out every single mention of Christ from the broadcast. Isn't that amazing? Main stream television won't allow the name Christ to be broadcast. Why is that? Why?
Watching those two TV interviews was very hard for me - and now I know why. Steven and his family seemed so uncomfortable - and I had assumed it was grief, and loss, and the sheer magnitude of sharing their family's tragedy over and over. But it turns out it was probably more related to not being heard. They are quite possibly the most faith-filled family I have ever 'met' - Christ is their focus. Their faith sustains them and comforts them - and their belief that they will be with Maria again is what is getting them through this time. And yet, no secular, main-stream show - who sought out interviews with them - would allow the name of Christ to be included in the broadcast.
So I'm so grateful for the Focus on the Family segments which offer insight into how they SCC family are REALLY handling the grief - they are walking with Christ, every single minute of every single day. And the ability to speak openly and candidly with another person of faith (Dr. Dobson) really helped put those other interviews in context. No wonder they seemed uncomfortable - they were! How can you interview a family who is expressing their faith and how their faith is seeing them through the loss of their daughter AND NOT INCLUDE THE NAME OF OUR SAVIOR, CHRIST in the segment?
And, Mary Beth got a tattoo on her wrist - it's a six petal flower with the word 'SEE' and a butterfly - just like the picture Maria drew the day she died. I had been thinking 'if I were getting a tattoo, I think I'd get that six-petal flower, with one petal colored in and the word 'SEE'. And Mary Beth did - it was shown in the 2nd People Magazine article. Which I'm pretty sure also never mentioned Christ. I'll have to go look, now.
I have watched the various interviews and commented about them in this blog - and I've just finished listening to the 3 days of interviews from Dr. James Dobson's interview with Steven on Dr. Dobson's Focus on the Family website.
I'm so grateful for the Internet - for it's ability to connect people and to share information. The interviews done with the Chapman family on Larry King Live and Good Morning America were good interviews - but in the final segment of the Focus on the Family interviews, Dr. Dobson reveals that one of those shows interviewed and filmed the family for over 5 hours - and edited out every single mention of Christ from the broadcast. Isn't that amazing? Main stream television won't allow the name Christ to be broadcast. Why is that? Why?
Watching those two TV interviews was very hard for me - and now I know why. Steven and his family seemed so uncomfortable - and I had assumed it was grief, and loss, and the sheer magnitude of sharing their family's tragedy over and over. But it turns out it was probably more related to not being heard. They are quite possibly the most faith-filled family I have ever 'met' - Christ is their focus. Their faith sustains them and comforts them - and their belief that they will be with Maria again is what is getting them through this time. And yet, no secular, main-stream show - who sought out interviews with them - would allow the name of Christ to be included in the broadcast.
So I'm so grateful for the Focus on the Family segments which offer insight into how they SCC family are REALLY handling the grief - they are walking with Christ, every single minute of every single day. And the ability to speak openly and candidly with another person of faith (Dr. Dobson) really helped put those other interviews in context. No wonder they seemed uncomfortable - they were! How can you interview a family who is expressing their faith and how their faith is seeing them through the loss of their daughter AND NOT INCLUDE THE NAME OF OUR SAVIOR, CHRIST in the segment?
And, Mary Beth got a tattoo on her wrist - it's a six petal flower with the word 'SEE' and a butterfly - just like the picture Maria drew the day she died. I had been thinking 'if I were getting a tattoo, I think I'd get that six-petal flower, with one petal colored in and the word 'SEE'. And Mary Beth did - it was shown in the 2nd People Magazine article. Which I'm pretty sure also never mentioned Christ. I'll have to go look, now.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Driving
If you drive past a school district office and see a car there really late at night, it's probably the CBO. There are two times of the year my job is hugely huge - and this is one of them. Year end is almost as exhausting and challenging as budget. June, July and August are the months that kill CBOs. Seriously. It's never-ending. But I know it will end - 'cuz it will. And soon, we'll be heading into the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. And I have a week off scheduled in October - traveling to my sister's wedding and then a week at home to piddle around. So some 'rest and relaxation' will be here shortly. I'm living for that.
I don't mind the work. 12-14 hour days? Bring them on! The work is great. I'm busy, and learning. It's just the exhaustion - and I know you're thinking 'well quit working so much'. No, it's not the work...or the number of hours. It's the lack of sleep in general. I barely sleep 4 hours/night. It's hard to do long days on that few of hours of decent sleep. A three day weekend is coming and though I'll be working much of it, I will sleep in 3 days and that always helps. It's that early morning wakening - should I just get up? Try to sleep an hour or so more and risk waking up feeling horrible 'cuz I might get into a good sleep and then have to wake up? Crazy....and it keeps me awake all night, once I wake up. Every single night. I'd get up and work but the finance system is down from 9PM until 5AM every night - so I can't do too much, at least not related to budget things.
The new car is fun - and I'm learning to drive a hybrid. Trying to lessen my 'lead foot' - which I swear I don't have and J. swears I do. I guess since I'm so far averaging only 27.2 MPG while J. averages 36 MPG is evidence enough. Personally, I think it's 'cuz J. drives like a little old lady out for a Sunday drive in her 1990 Cadillac Seville. Soooo s..l..o..w..l..y. (Love you, sweets!). But hybrid driving is learning to keep the gauge in the 'green' zone - meaning I'm using battery (electric) power on it's own. It's hard but do-able. We've only taken one freeway drive - we went to Manteca for dinner on Saturday evening. J. gets great mileage on the freeway - which is the opposite of what they say about Hybrids. They say in town driving is where the high mileage comes in - but for J., his tank average actually decreases after weekends in town. He's got the 'keeping it in the green' down to a science. I have a lot to learn.
H. got his braces off today - he looks great. $5K worth of great, I hope! I booked B.'s senior portrait for this Saturday - and booked a family portrait in a couple weeks at the same studio. We haven't had one in forever - we have a portrait taken at Disneyland at Christmas, 2005 - but that's the most recent and somehow, for me, it doesn't count. So we're getting a 'casual' family portrait taken. We're all wearing jeans and white (and black) t-shirts. They'll take pics of us in both and we'll pick what we like best.
They are surviving school and the trend is continuing - they come home, have a snack and hit the books. B. has been getting 16-20 hours/week at his job, which is great. He's enjoying the $$ and not having too much trouble (so far) juggling both school and work. And social life....going to the gym...music lessons...band rehearsals (garage band, not school band - he's not in any music classes this year. Long story. A novel, practically. I'll spare you.)
We are watching the Democratic National Convention 'cuz that's what we do - all politics, all the time in this house. If it's not politics, it's talking heads talking about politics. Last night, I got a bit snippy when J. had a talking head segment on his computer AND talking heads on TV. I said 'one or the other. Not both'. I can't handle stereo discussions on different topics AT THE SAME TIME. He moved to the living room.
I'm moving upstairs. Time for sleep. I've only been home about an hour but it's approaching 9PM and the sooner I get to sleep, the more likely I can try to go back to sleep when I wake up at 1 or 2.
I don't mind the work. 12-14 hour days? Bring them on! The work is great. I'm busy, and learning. It's just the exhaustion - and I know you're thinking 'well quit working so much'. No, it's not the work...or the number of hours. It's the lack of sleep in general. I barely sleep 4 hours/night. It's hard to do long days on that few of hours of decent sleep. A three day weekend is coming and though I'll be working much of it, I will sleep in 3 days and that always helps. It's that early morning wakening - should I just get up? Try to sleep an hour or so more and risk waking up feeling horrible 'cuz I might get into a good sleep and then have to wake up? Crazy....and it keeps me awake all night, once I wake up. Every single night. I'd get up and work but the finance system is down from 9PM until 5AM every night - so I can't do too much, at least not related to budget things.
The new car is fun - and I'm learning to drive a hybrid. Trying to lessen my 'lead foot' - which I swear I don't have and J. swears I do. I guess since I'm so far averaging only 27.2 MPG while J. averages 36 MPG is evidence enough. Personally, I think it's 'cuz J. drives like a little old lady out for a Sunday drive in her 1990 Cadillac Seville. Soooo s..l..o..w..l..y. (Love you, sweets!). But hybrid driving is learning to keep the gauge in the 'green' zone - meaning I'm using battery (electric) power on it's own. It's hard but do-able. We've only taken one freeway drive - we went to Manteca for dinner on Saturday evening. J. gets great mileage on the freeway - which is the opposite of what they say about Hybrids. They say in town driving is where the high mileage comes in - but for J., his tank average actually decreases after weekends in town. He's got the 'keeping it in the green' down to a science. I have a lot to learn.
H. got his braces off today - he looks great. $5K worth of great, I hope! I booked B.'s senior portrait for this Saturday - and booked a family portrait in a couple weeks at the same studio. We haven't had one in forever - we have a portrait taken at Disneyland at Christmas, 2005 - but that's the most recent and somehow, for me, it doesn't count. So we're getting a 'casual' family portrait taken. We're all wearing jeans and white (and black) t-shirts. They'll take pics of us in both and we'll pick what we like best.
They are surviving school and the trend is continuing - they come home, have a snack and hit the books. B. has been getting 16-20 hours/week at his job, which is great. He's enjoying the $$ and not having too much trouble (so far) juggling both school and work. And social life....going to the gym...music lessons...band rehearsals (garage band, not school band - he's not in any music classes this year. Long story. A novel, practically. I'll spare you.)
We are watching the Democratic National Convention 'cuz that's what we do - all politics, all the time in this house. If it's not politics, it's talking heads talking about politics. Last night, I got a bit snippy when J. had a talking head segment on his computer AND talking heads on TV. I said 'one or the other. Not both'. I can't handle stereo discussions on different topics AT THE SAME TIME. He moved to the living room.
I'm moving upstairs. Time for sleep. I've only been home about an hour but it's approaching 9PM and the sooner I get to sleep, the more likely I can try to go back to sleep when I wake up at 1 or 2.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Hybrid
is in the driveway! It's a pearly white with tan leather interior. Has a moon roof that fully 'retracts' - or pops open in the back for fresh air without the big hole above your head. It's loaded with all kinds of gadgets, including 'live' navigation (meaning it not only tells you how to get where you're going, but alerts you to any highway/freeway incidents along the way), Sirius Satellite radio, Bluetooth for hands free phone, etc. I could practically live in the car for the next few days and still not know everything I could know about the car.
We were at the dealership from 6PM until 9:30PM. Since I'd been up since 4AM, I was wiped out. Filling out the forms was so hard - seriously, I felt a million years old. Too much to remember. Like I couldn't remember the address of the place I last worked before my current job. The paperwork took a long time - which I knew it would and yet still felt shell shocked at how long we were there. I was/am exhausted. We got a great rate from J's credit union - good old Tucoemas - no one can remember how to spell it, but once you're a customer, you never forget. Great rate, and it's all 'done' - the dealer can now go through a credit union network and get the loan approved through them electronically. All we had to do this morning was call the credit union, give them our savings account # and they set up an automatic debit for the payment - AND we added some to the monthly amount to force ourselves to save more of my recent raise.
It's fun to drive and the music features are awesome. I can 'store' my mp3 files on flash drives and use those to listen to music. OR I can plug in my iPod. OR I can select one of the dozens of Sirius stations. OR I can listen to regular music. OR...I could plug in an amplifier and make my own music. The car has a 110v plug - I could dry and/or curl my hair! WOW, that would have really come in handy when I had long hair - I could have heated my hot rollers in the car! Oh well.
It was a 'bad' evening because the boys were home arguing non-stop. I lost count of the number of phone calls we had. It was embarrassing...to see my husband attempting to get a kid on the other end of the phone to quit yelling long enough to find out what's happening. It's insane. I'm not sure what we're going to do about them. It is bad. It makes me so angry and fed up - and then you realize 'and there's not a damn thing I can do about it'. True, I could leave the house - and I want to much of the time. The happiness here is shrouded in the walking on eggshells required to keep peace. It's ridiculous. And I feel angry that we're sitting here, working our asses off to provide so much for two kids who are incredibly selfish and disrespectful of each other - and therefore, of us. It irritates me no end. It makes me sad. I don't expect them to always get a long - I know they won't. But what is going on in this house and between them a good portion of the time is inexcusable. It's bad behavior times a million.
They are getting on my last nerve. I am already so stressed out about work - I just can't handle anything else. Seriously.
OK - J. got my phone to sync with the Bluetooth so I'm going to drive to the bank and phone home as a test.
The only thing missing on the car is the feature that allows you to program a button to open your garage door. Thankfully, J. found a garage door opener which we haven't used in five years since we bought the Honda. It works. A bit 'old fashioned' in my book, but it'll do.
We were at the dealership from 6PM until 9:30PM. Since I'd been up since 4AM, I was wiped out. Filling out the forms was so hard - seriously, I felt a million years old. Too much to remember. Like I couldn't remember the address of the place I last worked before my current job. The paperwork took a long time - which I knew it would and yet still felt shell shocked at how long we were there. I was/am exhausted. We got a great rate from J's credit union - good old Tucoemas - no one can remember how to spell it, but once you're a customer, you never forget. Great rate, and it's all 'done' - the dealer can now go through a credit union network and get the loan approved through them electronically. All we had to do this morning was call the credit union, give them our savings account # and they set up an automatic debit for the payment - AND we added some to the monthly amount to force ourselves to save more of my recent raise.
It's fun to drive and the music features are awesome. I can 'store' my mp3 files on flash drives and use those to listen to music. OR I can plug in my iPod. OR I can select one of the dozens of Sirius stations. OR I can listen to regular music. OR...I could plug in an amplifier and make my own music. The car has a 110v plug - I could dry and/or curl my hair! WOW, that would have really come in handy when I had long hair - I could have heated my hot rollers in the car! Oh well.
It was a 'bad' evening because the boys were home arguing non-stop. I lost count of the number of phone calls we had. It was embarrassing...to see my husband attempting to get a kid on the other end of the phone to quit yelling long enough to find out what's happening. It's insane. I'm not sure what we're going to do about them. It is bad. It makes me so angry and fed up - and then you realize 'and there's not a damn thing I can do about it'. True, I could leave the house - and I want to much of the time. The happiness here is shrouded in the walking on eggshells required to keep peace. It's ridiculous. And I feel angry that we're sitting here, working our asses off to provide so much for two kids who are incredibly selfish and disrespectful of each other - and therefore, of us. It irritates me no end. It makes me sad. I don't expect them to always get a long - I know they won't. But what is going on in this house and between them a good portion of the time is inexcusable. It's bad behavior times a million.
They are getting on my last nerve. I am already so stressed out about work - I just can't handle anything else. Seriously.
OK - J. got my phone to sync with the Bluetooth so I'm going to drive to the bank and phone home as a test.
The only thing missing on the car is the feature that allows you to program a button to open your garage door. Thankfully, J. found a garage door opener which we haven't used in five years since we bought the Honda. It works. A bit 'old fashioned' in my book, but it'll do.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Rules
There are some 'rules' about blogging...and I'm not following many of them.
Labels: I've often wondered why some blogs label their posts. Those are those 'words' you see at the bottom - things like 'family' or 'angst'. You try to categorize your posts. I never really understood the reasoning behind that until lately. Because, I've posted 430 posts before this one - spanning a few years. And I live in fear that I'm repeating myself. Labels help you categorize things so you can a) find a post you know you wrote and b) hopefully let you query to be sure you haven't written it BEFORE you make a giant ass of yourself by writing about the same thing over and over. Not that I've done that. Well, I might have. I don't know if I did or didn't 'cuz I haven't been labeling my posts!
Browser: Blogger does have some helpful tools - for example, when I enter my 'title', it shows me the titles I've entered already that start with the same first letter. Handy. Except, I realized tonight: this is not a Blogger feature. This is a browser feature. Which I realized when I was in Mozilla instead of Explorer and my previous titles didn't appear. TERROR reigned for a moment until I realized 'hey, you need to (apparently) go back to Explorer for all those helpful hints to appear'. So I did. In spite of the fact that Explorer has been hanging up my computer big time the past few days...I have no idea why. So don't ask me. It's a 'computer thing'. (I spilled a liquid on my keyboard the other day - thankfully, it was rubbing alcohol which dries in an instant - shhh. Don't tell J. - and ever since then, it's been acting a bit 'tense'. The computer is tense. Not J.)
Names: One of the words you should NOT use in the name of your blog is 'musings'. EVERYONE uses 'musings' in their blog title. But I think I'm 'saved' by using Majah, which is fairly unique - so I'm stuck with it and not changing. But one of the tips I've read is skipping words that are used a lot - who knew? There could have been a zillion other different options - but the blog title sort of picked me. So it sticks, even if it does break the rules a bit. I'll never be vastly popular, however, because everyone and their brother have a blog with the word 'musings' (or derivative) in the title. Oh well. I'm good at not being popular.
How To: There's no wrong way to blog. You simply write. Some people enjoy writing. Some don't. If you don't, I suggest you don't blog - you won't enjoy it, and your readers won't either. Likewise - some people enjoy reading blogs (I'm one of them and if you ever see my bookmark file you'll be amazed at the sheer volume and variety of the blogs I frequent) and some don't. If you don't like reading blogs, then why are you? Seriously - do you read to torture yourself? 'Cuz there are a zillion other things you could be doing with your time. Though if you do like my writing (whether you know me or not), then I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you're reading. There is no greater 'yippee!' for me then getting a comment. (come on all you lurkers out there - you know who you are, J., Bug, etc.). Get a Blogger log on and leave a comment now and then. I miss ya'll and it would be great to know you're out there somewhere in the blogosphere.
I read blogs that make me laugh out loud. I read blogs that make me cry. Some blogs make me angry - and usually have something to do with our President and what I like to call the 'dumbing of America'. (another post for another time....). All of them make me think and give me 'friends' to visit when I have a moment. I love blogging. And as long as I live, I'm going to keep writing. And hope people are and/or will keep reading.
Labels: I've often wondered why some blogs label their posts. Those are those 'words' you see at the bottom - things like 'family' or 'angst'. You try to categorize your posts. I never really understood the reasoning behind that until lately. Because, I've posted 430 posts before this one - spanning a few years. And I live in fear that I'm repeating myself. Labels help you categorize things so you can a) find a post you know you wrote and b) hopefully let you query to be sure you haven't written it BEFORE you make a giant ass of yourself by writing about the same thing over and over. Not that I've done that. Well, I might have. I don't know if I did or didn't 'cuz I haven't been labeling my posts!
Browser: Blogger does have some helpful tools - for example, when I enter my 'title', it shows me the titles I've entered already that start with the same first letter. Handy. Except, I realized tonight: this is not a Blogger feature. This is a browser feature. Which I realized when I was in Mozilla instead of Explorer and my previous titles didn't appear. TERROR reigned for a moment until I realized 'hey, you need to (apparently) go back to Explorer for all those helpful hints to appear'. So I did. In spite of the fact that Explorer has been hanging up my computer big time the past few days...I have no idea why. So don't ask me. It's a 'computer thing'. (I spilled a liquid on my keyboard the other day - thankfully, it was rubbing alcohol which dries in an instant - shhh. Don't tell J. - and ever since then, it's been acting a bit 'tense'. The computer is tense. Not J.)
Names: One of the words you should NOT use in the name of your blog is 'musings'. EVERYONE uses 'musings' in their blog title. But I think I'm 'saved' by using Majah, which is fairly unique - so I'm stuck with it and not changing. But one of the tips I've read is skipping words that are used a lot - who knew? There could have been a zillion other different options - but the blog title sort of picked me. So it sticks, even if it does break the rules a bit. I'll never be vastly popular, however, because everyone and their brother have a blog with the word 'musings' (or derivative) in the title. Oh well. I'm good at not being popular.
How To: There's no wrong way to blog. You simply write. Some people enjoy writing. Some don't. If you don't, I suggest you don't blog - you won't enjoy it, and your readers won't either. Likewise - some people enjoy reading blogs (I'm one of them and if you ever see my bookmark file you'll be amazed at the sheer volume and variety of the blogs I frequent) and some don't. If you don't like reading blogs, then why are you? Seriously - do you read to torture yourself? 'Cuz there are a zillion other things you could be doing with your time. Though if you do like my writing (whether you know me or not), then I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you're reading. There is no greater 'yippee!' for me then getting a comment. (come on all you lurkers out there - you know who you are, J., Bug, etc.). Get a Blogger log on and leave a comment now and then. I miss ya'll and it would be great to know you're out there somewhere in the blogosphere.
I read blogs that make me laugh out loud. I read blogs that make me cry. Some blogs make me angry - and usually have something to do with our President and what I like to call the 'dumbing of America'. (another post for another time....). All of them make me think and give me 'friends' to visit when I have a moment. I love blogging. And as long as I live, I'm going to keep writing. And hope people are and/or will keep reading.
Murphy
Good ol' Murphy's law has hit with a vengeance this week. This is positively, without a doubt the most hectic, busy, stressed-out time for my job. And wouldn't you know it: the car that was ordered 8 weeks ago arrived today - and so we're wedging in time tomorrow evening to get to the dealership and (most likely) buy a car. A 2009 Hybrid Mariner. Ordered to my specifications - and I know I'm going to fall in love with it and buy it. The van has 96,000 miles on it and is a van. I bought the van when my kids were in their 'tweens'. Hauling them, their friends, soccer gear, etc. was impossible in a VW Beetle. So we bought the van. But I really never embraced being a mini-van mom. I tried - Lord knows, I tried. So I'll be retiring from van-dom and driving a small-ish SUV that gets terrific mileage.
I have to admit that I have never owned an American car. My mom drove Chevy's all her life - and the fact that my Mariner almost was a Ford Escape Hybrid would have turned her stomach. I really wasn't looking for a car but I asked the owner of our Ford Dealership (who is a fellow Lion) if he had any on the lot. The next thing I knew, he was asking me what I wanted on it - and he ordered it - on 'spec' saying 'if you don't want it, we won't have any trouble selling it'. But this was right at the time Ford had announced it was scaling back production of all Ford trucks and SUVs. So he ordered a Mercury thinking he could get that faster. I was secretly relieved - a Mercury, I can live with - even though I know, underneath, it is a Ford. Isn't it funny how what you grew up with becomes what you 'accept'? I would never buy a Ford. Never. Because my mom drove Chevy's. [And I know you're in heaven, Mom, and you're going to know - so I'm just reinforcing - it's A MERCURY....'kay?]
Only, just like when I realized 'hey, I am NOT a Republican', I also embraced 'and I can drive whatever damn car I please, thank you very much'. So that's how I am probably going to buy an American made car tomorrow. And be happy about it. True, I wanted the Toyota Highlander Hybrid - but for $35-40K, I'll pass. I'm getting everything I want and saving $10-15K - I can live with that.
We are all adjusting to the 'back to school' schedule. I do have to say, publicly, that so far, the boys are managing rather well. Homework is done. Notebooks appear organized. They are up in plenty of time in the morning and out the door without too much mayhem and madness. But, this IS only the 2nd week... so a lot can happen between now and June. Let's just say 'nothing bad has happened yet' and leave it at that for now. The leCube gets a pretty good workout in the morning making 3-4 double shot lattes for me and the boys - and J., on occasion, though he's back to brewing a small pot of coffee for himself in the morning. The leCube has that 'jolt' that the kids and I need to get movin' in the mornings. What can I say - they take after their mother on that front.
I am pretty busy at work (that's putting it mildly) and it's a bit of a crazy time. It will pass, as most craziness does. I go in, keep my head down and do my work. Am still grateful for being so close to home - it's just so great to be home in less than 5 minutes and no matter how awful/tough/horrible the day has been, that easy commute helps a lot. And, I'm deeply, truly grateful for my husband. He is a huge support - listening to me attentively when I need to vent. And helping out around here so much - so, SO much. And realizing that I am stressed out....it happens. And I'm not always pleasant, or friendly, or loving. And yet, he hangs in there and deals. Because he loves me...and that is such a blessing.
My sister was telling me how wonderful it is to be in a relationship where there is nothing to hold back. No topic off limits. No feelings to 'moderate' or 'mediate' to suit someone else. No eggshells to maneuver. And I thought 'wow, I've always had that with J'. I really am one incredibly lucky person - that the person I've been with the past soon to be 20 (OH MY GOSH!!)years is my best friend, my 'say anything go-to guy'. I am blessed. And now, so is my sister. She found her prince. Being in love is supposed to be easy. I'm so happy she's found that.
It has been a shock to realize that B. is a SENIOR this year. The list of Senior Activities is huge. Disneyland, Prom, Senior Breakfast, etc. It's happening so fast. I can't get over it, really. This time next year, he probably won't be living here anymore. H. is already planning to 'take his room'. I said 'no, it's his room'. Period. Though he (H.) admits he's going to miss him when he's away at school. I'm really feeling in shock over this phase....how it's actually here and it arrived so incredibly quickly.
Time flies - that's so true. I'm hoping my years heading into retirement go by just as quickly. I'm sure they will -
I have to admit that I have never owned an American car. My mom drove Chevy's all her life - and the fact that my Mariner almost was a Ford Escape Hybrid would have turned her stomach. I really wasn't looking for a car but I asked the owner of our Ford Dealership (who is a fellow Lion) if he had any on the lot. The next thing I knew, he was asking me what I wanted on it - and he ordered it - on 'spec' saying 'if you don't want it, we won't have any trouble selling it'. But this was right at the time Ford had announced it was scaling back production of all Ford trucks and SUVs. So he ordered a Mercury thinking he could get that faster. I was secretly relieved - a Mercury, I can live with - even though I know, underneath, it is a Ford. Isn't it funny how what you grew up with becomes what you 'accept'? I would never buy a Ford. Never. Because my mom drove Chevy's. [And I know you're in heaven, Mom, and you're going to know - so I'm just reinforcing - it's A MERCURY....'kay?]
Only, just like when I realized 'hey, I am NOT a Republican', I also embraced 'and I can drive whatever damn car I please, thank you very much'. So that's how I am probably going to buy an American made car tomorrow. And be happy about it. True, I wanted the Toyota Highlander Hybrid - but for $35-40K, I'll pass. I'm getting everything I want and saving $10-15K - I can live with that.
We are all adjusting to the 'back to school' schedule. I do have to say, publicly, that so far, the boys are managing rather well. Homework is done. Notebooks appear organized. They are up in plenty of time in the morning and out the door without too much mayhem and madness. But, this IS only the 2nd week... so a lot can happen between now and June. Let's just say 'nothing bad has happened yet' and leave it at that for now. The leCube gets a pretty good workout in the morning making 3-4 double shot lattes for me and the boys - and J., on occasion, though he's back to brewing a small pot of coffee for himself in the morning. The leCube has that 'jolt' that the kids and I need to get movin' in the mornings. What can I say - they take after their mother on that front.
I am pretty busy at work (that's putting it mildly) and it's a bit of a crazy time. It will pass, as most craziness does. I go in, keep my head down and do my work. Am still grateful for being so close to home - it's just so great to be home in less than 5 minutes and no matter how awful/tough/horrible the day has been, that easy commute helps a lot. And, I'm deeply, truly grateful for my husband. He is a huge support - listening to me attentively when I need to vent. And helping out around here so much - so, SO much. And realizing that I am stressed out....it happens. And I'm not always pleasant, or friendly, or loving. And yet, he hangs in there and deals. Because he loves me...and that is such a blessing.
My sister was telling me how wonderful it is to be in a relationship where there is nothing to hold back. No topic off limits. No feelings to 'moderate' or 'mediate' to suit someone else. No eggshells to maneuver. And I thought 'wow, I've always had that with J'. I really am one incredibly lucky person - that the person I've been with the past soon to be 20 (OH MY GOSH!!)years is my best friend, my 'say anything go-to guy'. I am blessed. And now, so is my sister. She found her prince. Being in love is supposed to be easy. I'm so happy she's found that.
It has been a shock to realize that B. is a SENIOR this year. The list of Senior Activities is huge. Disneyland, Prom, Senior Breakfast, etc. It's happening so fast. I can't get over it, really. This time next year, he probably won't be living here anymore. H. is already planning to 'take his room'. I said 'no, it's his room'. Period. Though he (H.) admits he's going to miss him when he's away at school. I'm really feeling in shock over this phase....how it's actually here and it arrived so incredibly quickly.
Time flies - that's so true. I'm hoping my years heading into retirement go by just as quickly. I'm sure they will -
Friday, August 15, 2008
Fake
OH MY GOSH - Pepe is a fake. A complete, total fake. THAT'S why the blog was taken down so quickly. THAT'S why shortly after posting here last night, I returned to find her writing a 'comment' saying she would keep the blog open - and within a half hour of THAT discovery, the blog had been switched to 'invitation only'. There were comments alleging she is a fake. I just can't believe I was duped - and thankfully, unlike many others, I didn't 'contribute' for her medical care or for 'treats' for her to make her hospital stay better. Thousands of people donated in the Fall of '07 to get her a Wii for Christmas. Over $700 was raised then - and that was almost a year ago.
Here's the story of the reveal: http://www.exposetrolls.blogspot.com/
It's a good lesson in 'trust your gut'. Some parts of the story seemed implausible to me, but you think 'well, I'm not a medical expert...., etc.' But it seemed highly unlikely that a girl with all the serious post-transplant issues outlined in the last 42 days would be placed back on the transplant list for a second set of lungs - when she had allegedly developed heart failure and heart damage. Seemed unlikely. So I was 'right' - or rather, my gut was - but I didn't listen.
There are a lot of really pissed off people today and I join them in sharing their anger and disgust at being scammed. I hope the individuals who perpetuated the fraud are prosecuted - though that's unlikely also.
Here's the story of the reveal: http://www.exposetrolls.blogspot.com/
It's a good lesson in 'trust your gut'. Some parts of the story seemed implausible to me, but you think 'well, I'm not a medical expert...., etc.' But it seemed highly unlikely that a girl with all the serious post-transplant issues outlined in the last 42 days would be placed back on the transplant list for a second set of lungs - when she had allegedly developed heart failure and heart damage. Seemed unlikely. So I was 'right' - or rather, my gut was - but I didn't listen.
There are a lot of really pissed off people today and I join them in sharing their anger and disgust at being scammed. I hope the individuals who perpetuated the fraud are prosecuted - though that's unlikely also.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Heat
It is very hot here this week - the first week back at school. Wouldn't you know the mild temps we've had left and it's now scorching hot - when classrooms are now full of little, warm bodies, constantly moving. There's something to say for considering moving the school to stay in session during June and then be off in July and August. School districts would save thousands of dollars in energy costs if schools weren't in session during July and August, typically the two hottest months. Maybe in the schools of the future. Along with 4 day school weeks to conserve diesel fuel, electricity, etc. Oh, to dream! Though I've had 4 day work weeks and was never really a big fan. For someone who historically works a lot of hours no matter what, cramming that many hours into one fewer day is just not worth the three day weekend.
A couple things:
I've been following the blog of a(nother) lung transplant - I'm not going to link here...anyway, I've been following this young lady's story for over a month now. Praying and praying for her. It has not gone well, unlike the story of Tricia and Gywneth. This transplant has been tough from day one. And we're on day forty two - and today, the website has a post saying 'this blog is ending. [She] requests it'. A part of me thinks I understand. The last post confirmed that her transplanted lungs are not functioning well. And she's now having heart issues because her heart has had to work too hard to pump blood through her damaged (new) lungs. She is on the transplant list again. Or maybe not? Maybe they won't put her on the list...and that's why she's not going to have her friend update anymore. And I 'get' that. But oh, my, it bothers me - to not know how it turns out. To get so emotionally 'hooked' into someones story and have it stop abruptly. And I realize that's 'wrong' of me - because it may very well be ending abruptly right this minute - she may be - is quite likely - dying. So 'abrupt' is how it's going to be. But those of us who have traveled this journey with her - who have added her to our prayers every night for weeks; who have waited patiently for the once a day update on how it's going today; - we are out here and now we are stuck. Will we ever know? It makes me sad. Or maybe it makes me sad 'cuz I think I do know how it's all going to turn out. And there is a family somewhere in this country right now grappling with losing this dear, magical young lady. Who loves Sierra Mist (and whose love of Sierra Mist makes me want to try it and I will never see it again without thinking of her). Who draws funny pictures of the hallucinations she's having from the heavy medications she's on. Who has fought more bravely and more passionately to live - 'I just want to be able to breath', she says - then anyone I've ever known. And I don't know her - and now, I never will.
I'm don't think I'm going to follow any more 'stories' of transplants. It's too heart breaking. And draining. And I don't even KNOW this person....really. I don't. But I do.
I talked to Bug today - she called ME. And while I hadn't really intentionally NOT called her (I've been a little busy, as is she), it was good to have her validate that yes, really, we are good friends and always will be. And we chatted about how it is a little hard - me, having so much 'angst' at the moment, and being wary of sharing that with her because I worry she will always interpret that to mean that I'm 'mad' that she's now in my 'old' job. Or that I'm 'mad' that I didn't apply. She would never be 'mad' about those things, nor would I toward her. But there is this tiny bit of unspoken 'something' between us. And I admitted that I still, will, always and forever, somewhat regret not applying. And somewhat regret not working there anymore. But I don't begrudge her getting the job. And I will find something out my way, eventually. On the 'non-commute' side of the Altamont. I'm determined to find something I'll enjoy - and it will happen. I just have to be patient. And I know it will be better than I ever imagined. Eventually. But some days, eventually is a long, long way away in my psyche. And in the mean time, the mountains of work loom constantly.
And talking that through with her helped so much - as it always does. And it made me realize 'hey, don't be so stubborn. Call her when you're feeling low 'cuz you know she always helps you talk things through'. So I will, more. And we've set a 'post-deadline' date in September to try to get together for a breakfast or lunch when she can tear herself away from her husbands (newlyweds!).
Today was day two of high school and we are surviving. They get up, get themselves showered and dressed, come downstairs and make lattes (they love our leCube almost as much as I do!) and head out the door. B. had to work today so we'll see how he's doing after a long school day followed by a 4 hour shift at the check out lanes.
This is an 'all work' weekend for me. Both days. No getting around it. I'm getting up early (though not 4:40 early like I have this week) and heading into work. No dawdling around here (which is criminally easy to do and before I know it, 1/2 the day is gone). Get up, get showered, get iced teas at Starbucks and head in to the office and work, work, work. I have made tremendous progress this week and am grateful for the lack of meetings, etc. Just pounding through my year-end list one item at a time. In a few weeks, it will all be 'done' and then it's a downhill slide into the holiday breaks - a full week off in November and two weeks off at Christmas. And a 4 day weekend in October, to boot!
Time to head up for my nightly communication with the felines. Brushing, feeding them, talking to them and then heading to bed! Early comes earlier everyday. Even with the working this weekend, I will sleep in a bit and that will really help make the working on the weekend thing easier to cope with.
A couple things:
I've been following the blog of a(nother) lung transplant - I'm not going to link here...anyway, I've been following this young lady's story for over a month now. Praying and praying for her. It has not gone well, unlike the story of Tricia and Gywneth. This transplant has been tough from day one. And we're on day forty two - and today, the website has a post saying 'this blog is ending. [She] requests it'. A part of me thinks I understand. The last post confirmed that her transplanted lungs are not functioning well. And she's now having heart issues because her heart has had to work too hard to pump blood through her damaged (new) lungs. She is on the transplant list again. Or maybe not? Maybe they won't put her on the list...and that's why she's not going to have her friend update anymore. And I 'get' that. But oh, my, it bothers me - to not know how it turns out. To get so emotionally 'hooked' into someones story and have it stop abruptly. And I realize that's 'wrong' of me - because it may very well be ending abruptly right this minute - she may be - is quite likely - dying. So 'abrupt' is how it's going to be. But those of us who have traveled this journey with her - who have added her to our prayers every night for weeks; who have waited patiently for the once a day update on how it's going today; - we are out here and now we are stuck. Will we ever know? It makes me sad. Or maybe it makes me sad 'cuz I think I do know how it's all going to turn out. And there is a family somewhere in this country right now grappling with losing this dear, magical young lady. Who loves Sierra Mist (and whose love of Sierra Mist makes me want to try it and I will never see it again without thinking of her). Who draws funny pictures of the hallucinations she's having from the heavy medications she's on. Who has fought more bravely and more passionately to live - 'I just want to be able to breath', she says - then anyone I've ever known. And I don't know her - and now, I never will.
I'm don't think I'm going to follow any more 'stories' of transplants. It's too heart breaking. And draining. And I don't even KNOW this person....really. I don't. But I do.
I talked to Bug today - she called ME. And while I hadn't really intentionally NOT called her (I've been a little busy, as is she), it was good to have her validate that yes, really, we are good friends and always will be. And we chatted about how it is a little hard - me, having so much 'angst' at the moment, and being wary of sharing that with her because I worry she will always interpret that to mean that I'm 'mad' that she's now in my 'old' job. Or that I'm 'mad' that I didn't apply. She would never be 'mad' about those things, nor would I toward her. But there is this tiny bit of unspoken 'something' between us. And I admitted that I still, will, always and forever, somewhat regret not applying. And somewhat regret not working there anymore. But I don't begrudge her getting the job. And I will find something out my way, eventually. On the 'non-commute' side of the Altamont. I'm determined to find something I'll enjoy - and it will happen. I just have to be patient. And I know it will be better than I ever imagined. Eventually. But some days, eventually is a long, long way away in my psyche. And in the mean time, the mountains of work loom constantly.
And talking that through with her helped so much - as it always does. And it made me realize 'hey, don't be so stubborn. Call her when you're feeling low 'cuz you know she always helps you talk things through'. So I will, more. And we've set a 'post-deadline' date in September to try to get together for a breakfast or lunch when she can tear herself away from her husbands (newlyweds!).
Today was day two of high school and we are surviving. They get up, get themselves showered and dressed, come downstairs and make lattes (they love our leCube almost as much as I do!) and head out the door. B. had to work today so we'll see how he's doing after a long school day followed by a 4 hour shift at the check out lanes.
This is an 'all work' weekend for me. Both days. No getting around it. I'm getting up early (though not 4:40 early like I have this week) and heading into work. No dawdling around here (which is criminally easy to do and before I know it, 1/2 the day is gone). Get up, get showered, get iced teas at Starbucks and head in to the office and work, work, work. I have made tremendous progress this week and am grateful for the lack of meetings, etc. Just pounding through my year-end list one item at a time. In a few weeks, it will all be 'done' and then it's a downhill slide into the holiday breaks - a full week off in November and two weeks off at Christmas. And a 4 day weekend in October, to boot!
Time to head up for my nightly communication with the felines. Brushing, feeding them, talking to them and then heading to bed! Early comes earlier everyday. Even with the working this weekend, I will sleep in a bit and that will really help make the working on the weekend thing easier to cope with.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Lettuce-less
We've invented a new type of salad here - the 'lettuce-less' salad. I have had one of these amazing creations for dinner the past few nights. Just veggies. Loaded with garbanzo beans, kidney beans, green beans, steamed (chilled) beets and carrots fresh from the farm crop we pick up every weekend. A sprinkle of seasoned croutons, some Johnny's Ranch dressing and WOW, what a great meal! I am full and satisfied and not in the slightest tempted by the other things around to eat - things that are loaded with carbs and I'm trying to avoid like the plague. Tonight, we heated up leftover pasta alfredo for the kids - and I'm completely full from my salad and have no interest in the cheesy, gooey, pasta-filled dish.
I make it through the day with a 1/2 cup of Cheerios for breakfast - two Splendas and a little fat free milk. It's a splurge, sort of 'cuz I usually have just a Medifast shake when I get to my desk. But when I get up really early, and I'm hungry, I give myself a little carb jump start with Cheerios. And then Medifast shakes throughout the day. Home around 6 this evening (11 hour day - 20 minute lunch) and made myself a huge salad. And savored every delicious bite!
Lettuce never keeps long enough for us to use it all up. Not to mention that J. likes iceberg, which is just water - no nutrition whatsoever. I like the 'greens' from Costco, but they never keep very long. So lettuce-less is the best way to go. And I don't mind a bit just eating salad for dinner as long as there are a few croutons floating around to give me a bit of crunch.
I'm really enjoying the farm-fresh produce. It's so interesting to be reminded that things don't grow the way they look in the grocery store. The carrots we have are bent in strange shapes, sometimes. And they aren't uniform in size, nor color. They aren't nearly as 'perfect' as the ones you buy at the grocery store. And yet, they are so much better! The taste really comes through. Delicious! And beets! I could go on and on about the beets. J. has always loved beets on his salad - but he gets the picked beets in the can. The beets we've been putting in our salad are farm-fresh, peeled, sliced and steamed. They take a long time to steam - far longer than I imagined. And then we put them in the fridge and chop them up just slightly - and include them in our salads. They are fabulous! especially because there's no pickled vinegary taste to hide the flavor of the beet. Just slightly sweet, and filling. LOVE THEM and can't get enough! There are lots of other interesting veggies to try - and I need to find some creative uses for onions 'cuz we get some every week and we don't use them much. J. doesn't like them - never has, never will. So they don't get used much. We're going to decrease our order to a 1/2 order which will help - the boys aren't eating many of the veggies (big surprise, right?) so we have way too much to use in just a week.
Tomorrow is the first day of school for the boys. Today was the first day of school for the district I work in. Tonight will be a flurry of readying backpacks, binders, etc. Organizing the school supplies we purchased on Sunday. And then making vain attempts to get the kids in bed and asleep by 10. They've been night-owls all summer so it's not likely they'll get to sleep early - but we're setting the expectations and we'll see how it goes. J. thankfully decided to work at home tomorrow so he can be here for the AM routine. Which I really think is his nice way of saying (without words) 'you go ahead and get up early and get the heck out of here so you won't have to be stressed out about them getting off to school'. I'll oblige him. I'm stressed out about a lot of things and will happily pass on the angst that will arise in this house tomorrow morning when the alarms start going off, and kids get snippy with each other about being ready or not.
You know it's busy when you have to think of a reason to go to the grocery store so you can see your eldest son - while he works. And you find yourself a little irritated at the person requiring his assistance - a handicapped person who certainly needed more help out to the car than I did. But gosh darn it! I hadn't seen him in days! it seems. But he's doing a good job! And I'm proud of him. But his schedule is jammed between work, social life, etc. And tomorrow, we add school in the mix - I probably won't see him until winter break!
We're out of beets for tomorrow's salad so I need to head into the kitchen for some peeling, slicing and cooking.
I make it through the day with a 1/2 cup of Cheerios for breakfast - two Splendas and a little fat free milk. It's a splurge, sort of 'cuz I usually have just a Medifast shake when I get to my desk. But when I get up really early, and I'm hungry, I give myself a little carb jump start with Cheerios. And then Medifast shakes throughout the day. Home around 6 this evening (11 hour day - 20 minute lunch) and made myself a huge salad. And savored every delicious bite!
Lettuce never keeps long enough for us to use it all up. Not to mention that J. likes iceberg, which is just water - no nutrition whatsoever. I like the 'greens' from Costco, but they never keep very long. So lettuce-less is the best way to go. And I don't mind a bit just eating salad for dinner as long as there are a few croutons floating around to give me a bit of crunch.
I'm really enjoying the farm-fresh produce. It's so interesting to be reminded that things don't grow the way they look in the grocery store. The carrots we have are bent in strange shapes, sometimes. And they aren't uniform in size, nor color. They aren't nearly as 'perfect' as the ones you buy at the grocery store. And yet, they are so much better! The taste really comes through. Delicious! And beets! I could go on and on about the beets. J. has always loved beets on his salad - but he gets the picked beets in the can. The beets we've been putting in our salad are farm-fresh, peeled, sliced and steamed. They take a long time to steam - far longer than I imagined. And then we put them in the fridge and chop them up just slightly - and include them in our salads. They are fabulous! especially because there's no pickled vinegary taste to hide the flavor of the beet. Just slightly sweet, and filling. LOVE THEM and can't get enough! There are lots of other interesting veggies to try - and I need to find some creative uses for onions 'cuz we get some every week and we don't use them much. J. doesn't like them - never has, never will. So they don't get used much. We're going to decrease our order to a 1/2 order which will help - the boys aren't eating many of the veggies (big surprise, right?) so we have way too much to use in just a week.
Tomorrow is the first day of school for the boys. Today was the first day of school for the district I work in. Tonight will be a flurry of readying backpacks, binders, etc. Organizing the school supplies we purchased on Sunday. And then making vain attempts to get the kids in bed and asleep by 10. They've been night-owls all summer so it's not likely they'll get to sleep early - but we're setting the expectations and we'll see how it goes. J. thankfully decided to work at home tomorrow so he can be here for the AM routine. Which I really think is his nice way of saying (without words) 'you go ahead and get up early and get the heck out of here so you won't have to be stressed out about them getting off to school'. I'll oblige him. I'm stressed out about a lot of things and will happily pass on the angst that will arise in this house tomorrow morning when the alarms start going off, and kids get snippy with each other about being ready or not.
You know it's busy when you have to think of a reason to go to the grocery store so you can see your eldest son - while he works. And you find yourself a little irritated at the person requiring his assistance - a handicapped person who certainly needed more help out to the car than I did. But gosh darn it! I hadn't seen him in days! it seems. But he's doing a good job! And I'm proud of him. But his schedule is jammed between work, social life, etc. And tomorrow, we add school in the mix - I probably won't see him until winter break!
We're out of beets for tomorrow's salad so I need to head into the kitchen for some peeling, slicing and cooking.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Nothing about Nothing
Long week. Painful in many ways. Many of which are not discussable in this forum. Work is work. That's why they call it work....
So I will offer a cornucopia of observations on no particular subject, in no particular order.
First - the Olympics Opening Ceremonies. All I can say is wow! WOW!!! 1,000,000 times WOW. It was incredible - amazing! I just can't get over it - and we didn't tape it, and I'm not sure why we didn't, except that most Opening Ceremonies, while pretty cool, are not something we feel compelled to watch again and again. But THIS Opening Ceremony was one I'd really like to see again and again...so we're hoping to find it being rebroadcast somewhere and/or on DVD. It was awe-inspiring. Truly.
Next, the Steven Curtis Chapman family who appeared on Good Morning America on Wednesday and Larry King Live on Thursday. What a lesson in faith they are. What an amazing family - I can't describe how touched I was to watch them - how open and real they are about their faith. The Larry King Live interview was hard to watch - I don't like his style and felt he was abrupt and harsh at times, especially with Will, the son who was behind the wheel in the accident that killed Maria. But, I softened a bit towards Larry today when I watched a followup segment he taped where he spoke about how amazing he felt they were - and how he really seemed to envy their faith, something he admits he does not have. So maybe God worked a little in Larry's heart through the Chapman's story - and through their faith, which is so real and strong and such an integral part of their day to day lives.
One of the stories the Chapman's shared on LKL was this: After the accident, Steven and Caleb (their other son) kept saying, 'if we could just SEE that she was OK. If only we could see something to know she was alright'...even with their faith, they still prayed for some 'proof '. The day after the accident, they returned to their home to get clothes, etc. And there, on the art table, was a card Maria had worked on the morning of the accident. She had just turned 5 and while she could write a few words, she really didn't have a lot of words she was able to write. And there on the table was this card - with a six petal flower, the way kids draw flowers - a circle in the middle and six other circles for the petals. And one of the petals was colored in. The others were not. So one 'petal' for each child in the family - and only one colored in. Steven said 'the one child who is whole, with Jesus'. And on the card, one word - SEE. She had never written that word before. Never. And there it was. They didn't know she even knew the word. But she did - and she wrote it that day for the first time and left it on the table. Waiting for them. I still get goose bumps when I think about it. What more tangible proof could there be? Oh, I know - some people will say 'coincidence'. I used to think that about a lot of things. But the more I started to live by faith, the more those coincidences keep happening. More and more and more. And for me, now, I call them 'God moments'. I have them all the time....at work, at home. Things I'm needing and desiring and praying for - and then they happen. Small, mundane things that get resolved - and I realize 'wow, I think He heard me'. And He does. He heard the Chapman's pray for the ability to 'see' she was OK. And there it was. That's God, folks. God. Plain and simple and watching and listening all the time.
I am struggling these days with so many things. The kids try my patience in ways I couldn't have imagined 17 1/2 years ago when I had the first one. They irritate me. Frustrate me. Make me doubt myself. My parenting skills. My ability to cope with their never-ending teenage-ness. I don't like them sometimes. And I dislike myself even more when I feel that way about them. It's becoming a never-ending state of mind lately. It never wavers. I am hard on myself - and hard on them. And then it repeats, over and over.
I had a nice, pleasant lunch with B. earlier this week - it's harder and harder to converse with them, even when they're not irritating me and I, them. But we wedged in a nice lunch - just the two of us. And I had a brief glimmer/reminder that he really is such a nice young man. He is getting excited about his Senior year and then college. He seemed motivated and happy and enjoying his last week of summer vacation. It was great to have some one on one time with him.
H. got his referee certificate today - so he can officially referee at soccer matches. He's excited about the money he'll earn - but yet, we had to drag him out of bed today in time to get to his training class. So it's going to be up to us to keep him on schedule. Which I'm thinking we won't do - it will be up to him to get up and get moving. If he misses games, he'll lose the opportunity. And I say that but know we won't do it - we'll get him up. We'll suffer his angst and rudeness and general teenage-ness. And one of us will schlep him to and from, since he isn't driving yet. What a great time that will be. We'll see how it goes. His first few paychecks will go to us to pay us back for the $113 of books he lost that we had to pay for before he could register for school.
So I will offer a cornucopia of observations on no particular subject, in no particular order.
First - the Olympics Opening Ceremonies. All I can say is wow! WOW!!! 1,000,000 times WOW. It was incredible - amazing! I just can't get over it - and we didn't tape it, and I'm not sure why we didn't, except that most Opening Ceremonies, while pretty cool, are not something we feel compelled to watch again and again. But THIS Opening Ceremony was one I'd really like to see again and again...so we're hoping to find it being rebroadcast somewhere and/or on DVD. It was awe-inspiring. Truly.
Next, the Steven Curtis Chapman family who appeared on Good Morning America on Wednesday and Larry King Live on Thursday. What a lesson in faith they are. What an amazing family - I can't describe how touched I was to watch them - how open and real they are about their faith. The Larry King Live interview was hard to watch - I don't like his style and felt he was abrupt and harsh at times, especially with Will, the son who was behind the wheel in the accident that killed Maria. But, I softened a bit towards Larry today when I watched a followup segment he taped where he spoke about how amazing he felt they were - and how he really seemed to envy their faith, something he admits he does not have. So maybe God worked a little in Larry's heart through the Chapman's story - and through their faith, which is so real and strong and such an integral part of their day to day lives.
One of the stories the Chapman's shared on LKL was this: After the accident, Steven and Caleb (their other son) kept saying, 'if we could just SEE that she was OK. If only we could see something to know she was alright'...even with their faith, they still prayed for some 'proof '. The day after the accident, they returned to their home to get clothes, etc. And there, on the art table, was a card Maria had worked on the morning of the accident. She had just turned 5 and while she could write a few words, she really didn't have a lot of words she was able to write. And there on the table was this card - with a six petal flower, the way kids draw flowers - a circle in the middle and six other circles for the petals. And one of the petals was colored in. The others were not. So one 'petal' for each child in the family - and only one colored in. Steven said 'the one child who is whole, with Jesus'. And on the card, one word - SEE. She had never written that word before. Never. And there it was. They didn't know she even knew the word. But she did - and she wrote it that day for the first time and left it on the table. Waiting for them. I still get goose bumps when I think about it. What more tangible proof could there be? Oh, I know - some people will say 'coincidence'. I used to think that about a lot of things. But the more I started to live by faith, the more those coincidences keep happening. More and more and more. And for me, now, I call them 'God moments'. I have them all the time....at work, at home. Things I'm needing and desiring and praying for - and then they happen. Small, mundane things that get resolved - and I realize 'wow, I think He heard me'. And He does. He heard the Chapman's pray for the ability to 'see' she was OK. And there it was. That's God, folks. God. Plain and simple and watching and listening all the time.
I am struggling these days with so many things. The kids try my patience in ways I couldn't have imagined 17 1/2 years ago when I had the first one. They irritate me. Frustrate me. Make me doubt myself. My parenting skills. My ability to cope with their never-ending teenage-ness. I don't like them sometimes. And I dislike myself even more when I feel that way about them. It's becoming a never-ending state of mind lately. It never wavers. I am hard on myself - and hard on them. And then it repeats, over and over.
I had a nice, pleasant lunch with B. earlier this week - it's harder and harder to converse with them, even when they're not irritating me and I, them. But we wedged in a nice lunch - just the two of us. And I had a brief glimmer/reminder that he really is such a nice young man. He is getting excited about his Senior year and then college. He seemed motivated and happy and enjoying his last week of summer vacation. It was great to have some one on one time with him.
H. got his referee certificate today - so he can officially referee at soccer matches. He's excited about the money he'll earn - but yet, we had to drag him out of bed today in time to get to his training class. So it's going to be up to us to keep him on schedule. Which I'm thinking we won't do - it will be up to him to get up and get moving. If he misses games, he'll lose the opportunity. And I say that but know we won't do it - we'll get him up. We'll suffer his angst and rudeness and general teenage-ness. And one of us will schlep him to and from, since he isn't driving yet. What a great time that will be. We'll see how it goes. His first few paychecks will go to us to pay us back for the $113 of books he lost that we had to pay for before he could register for school.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Golf
2008 is the Summer that I will remember as 'the Summer B. became obsessed with golf'. He and J. spent yesterday in Monterey, playing Poppy Hills. By all accounts, they had a fantastic time. They were able to (very) briefly drive around the Cal State Monterey Bay campus. And they enjoyed a nice lunch and dinner in a very pretty part of our coast. B. told J. 'today has been the highlight of my summer'. Made J. feel really good - and me, too, in that at least they spent some quality one on one time together. And they always have golf to talk about...a lot. So it's all good. Though I wish he would have gotten into an inexpensive sport...like walking. But no, he's hooked on golf. On a good note, he talked to the golf cart 'guys' and found out some of them were CSUMB students - and they play for free! So that's a huge PLUS in the 'attending CSUMB' column. I'm lobbying strongly for it because it's pretty much a bargain - and we're all about finding bargains.
I'm so glad they had a nice time together. It's getting harder and harder to spend quality time with either of the kids - they have busy, full social lives and now B. had the job. It's a huge challenge. And I'm so glad he is loving golf, like his Dad. They will never lack for something to talk about - and they'll enjoy many rounds in the years to come. Glad they were both able to wedge in a day together - especially on such a beautiful course. A nice wind-down moment at the end of the summer.
I'm so glad they had a nice time together. It's getting harder and harder to spend quality time with either of the kids - they have busy, full social lives and now B. had the job. It's a huge challenge. And I'm so glad he is loving golf, like his Dad. They will never lack for something to talk about - and they'll enjoy many rounds in the years to come. Glad they were both able to wedge in a day together - especially on such a beautiful course. A nice wind-down moment at the end of the summer.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Strangers
I just had a phone conversation with my cousin in Edmond, OK. This is the cousin that I've begun to get to know through her blog. And she's begun to know me through mine. I read her posts and it's like 'she's me, living in an alternate time zone - same life, same issues. She's me'. It's been the weirdest feeling - the things we've shared via emails and our blogs - this strange way of getting to know each other. We never met as children. Isn't that odd? Her dad was divorced from her mom. Her dad is my mom's youngest brother. I never met him - well, I think I met him when I was a baby but that's family lore and I don't remember it.
We are strangers that happen to be family. I felt strange calling her - but I'm here alone in the house and I need a voice. A friendly voice. She fulfilled that. She sounds just like I thought she'd sound - happy, cheery, positive. And possibly a bit surprised to be getting a phone call from me at 9PM on a Monday. Can't blame her for that. It surprised me when I felt the urge to call...and I accepted the urge and did a 411.com.
We chatted briefly about our circumstances - her most recent blog post mirrored the sentiments of mine - and promised to try to cheer each other on as we attempt to lose some weight. Across the miles.
It was a 'first conversation' - not sure what to say. Not sure where to start - or stop. But it was a start. And I hope she will want to be 'connected' in all medias - phone, email, etc. She is like a mirror me, living two time zones away. You can never have too many friends....and family friends are among the best kind.
Hang in there, D. I'll do the same. When you get discouraged, email me. Or call. Just get in touch. We're at the same point in so many parts of our lives. Well, except for the 'you love your job and me, not so much.....' parts. Oh, and the 'you've already survived the teenage years and are now enjoying time with hubby alone...' which feels like it's nowhere in sight for me. Other than that, we're leading parallel lives....
Hugs,
Majah
We are strangers that happen to be family. I felt strange calling her - but I'm here alone in the house and I need a voice. A friendly voice. She fulfilled that. She sounds just like I thought she'd sound - happy, cheery, positive. And possibly a bit surprised to be getting a phone call from me at 9PM on a Monday. Can't blame her for that. It surprised me when I felt the urge to call...and I accepted the urge and did a 411.com.
We chatted briefly about our circumstances - her most recent blog post mirrored the sentiments of mine - and promised to try to cheer each other on as we attempt to lose some weight. Across the miles.
It was a 'first conversation' - not sure what to say. Not sure where to start - or stop. But it was a start. And I hope she will want to be 'connected' in all medias - phone, email, etc. She is like a mirror me, living two time zones away. You can never have too many friends....and family friends are among the best kind.
Hang in there, D. I'll do the same. When you get discouraged, email me. Or call. Just get in touch. We're at the same point in so many parts of our lives. Well, except for the 'you love your job and me, not so much.....' parts. Oh, and the 'you've already survived the teenage years and are now enjoying time with hubby alone...' which feels like it's nowhere in sight for me. Other than that, we're leading parallel lives....
Hugs,
Majah
Friday, August 01, 2008
Japan
I love eBay. I don't peruse it often [because if I peruse it, I will find things I didn't know I needed until I starting perusing eBay] - but I love it. You can find ANYTHING on eBay.
In a post awhile back, I fretted that my powder foundation had been discontinued a long time ago - I bought all we could afford of the product and have been using it for a couple years - awaiting the company's making of a replacement. Of course they would. I had no doubt. And years have gone by and they STILL have not replaced that 'line' - a powder foundation.
So one day, just because, I entered the product name 'DHC Powder Foundation' in the search on eBay. And Eureka! I found it! In Japan! and I 'bid' (used the 'Buy it Now' option so basically just bought it) and it arrived today and it is fantabulous! [No, that's not a typo. It's my word for fabulously fantastic!] Perfect! And the packaging matches some of the packaging I've seen on the US version of some 'new' products (blusher, eye shadow, etc.) so I do have hope that they will (eventually) roll this product out here. It is fantastic - excellent coverage, not heavy or 'cakey' - it's just so great. I emailed the seller (who has the product still available at the same Buy it Now price) to see if she has 2 of the shade I need - and I will order it if she does. That should get me through until the US version rolls out. I'm so glad. I know it's ridiculous - but it's the best coverage I've ever had in a 'foundation' product and I have been spending a fortune trying other brands (Lancome, Estee Lauder, etc.) and haven't found a single, comparable item ANYWHERE.
I received a letter from my doctor advising that 'your lab results are back - please call to schedule an appointment'. That's code for 'you have bad blood - get in here'. Thankfully, it's just my cholesterol - which isn't 'new' - and I am so relieved that it's not diabetes, 'cuz I was absolutely expecting it. We have increased my Lipitor, added another medication (Zetia) and fish oil (ugh!) daily. To his credit, my Dr. did not go into the weight issue (though he could have) nor the 'exercise more' or 'eat better'. I know I need to work on all those things and I am ready to try. The weight is bad - I'm having joint pain all the time, in knees, hips. I know I have to lose weight. It's just so dang hard. Medifast works. I'm going to give it another try and see if I can get past the 'hump' - where I miss chewing. And I miss 'crunch'. And if I can stick with it for a couple weeks and start to FEEL better, and see that I'm losing (pants less tight, etc.), it will get easier. And I know exercise is critically important. And I'm going to try to find something I can do that's relatively low impact. Maybe back to the Wii Fit - it was fun and easy and while I can't say it's a great 'workout', it at least gets me up and moving, which is what is needed.
I know, you've heard it all before. I know. I've said it to myself a million times before. It's the pits, huh? As you age, the weight just creeps on and on and on....and you can't stop that cycle easily. I lose. And then I gain it back. And once I passed 45 years old, all the weight I've lost that I'm gaining back goes directly to my middle. It's horrible. It bugs me sooo much!
We are doing back to school shopping tomorrow. I feel like we're living out in the middle of nowhere 'cuz we are making a 'day trip' to go to Stoneridge Mall in Pleasanton, shop and have lunch out and then get back here in time to pick up our weekly produce order before the health food store closes. And then I'm planning to work most of Sunday. It will be a busy weekend! BUT, I DO most DEFINITELY get to sleep in for two days in a row, which is a nice thing.
Time to get moving. Even if it's just heading upstairs to get to bed shortly.
In a post awhile back, I fretted that my powder foundation had been discontinued a long time ago - I bought all we could afford of the product and have been using it for a couple years - awaiting the company's making of a replacement. Of course they would. I had no doubt. And years have gone by and they STILL have not replaced that 'line' - a powder foundation.
So one day, just because, I entered the product name 'DHC Powder Foundation' in the search on eBay. And Eureka! I found it! In Japan! and I 'bid' (used the 'Buy it Now' option so basically just bought it) and it arrived today and it is fantabulous! [No, that's not a typo. It's my word for fabulously fantastic!] Perfect! And the packaging matches some of the packaging I've seen on the US version of some 'new' products (blusher, eye shadow, etc.) so I do have hope that they will (eventually) roll this product out here. It is fantastic - excellent coverage, not heavy or 'cakey' - it's just so great. I emailed the seller (who has the product still available at the same Buy it Now price) to see if she has 2 of the shade I need - and I will order it if she does. That should get me through until the US version rolls out. I'm so glad. I know it's ridiculous - but it's the best coverage I've ever had in a 'foundation' product and I have been spending a fortune trying other brands (Lancome, Estee Lauder, etc.) and haven't found a single, comparable item ANYWHERE.
I received a letter from my doctor advising that 'your lab results are back - please call to schedule an appointment'. That's code for 'you have bad blood - get in here'. Thankfully, it's just my cholesterol - which isn't 'new' - and I am so relieved that it's not diabetes, 'cuz I was absolutely expecting it. We have increased my Lipitor, added another medication (Zetia) and fish oil (ugh!) daily. To his credit, my Dr. did not go into the weight issue (though he could have) nor the 'exercise more' or 'eat better'. I know I need to work on all those things and I am ready to try. The weight is bad - I'm having joint pain all the time, in knees, hips. I know I have to lose weight. It's just so dang hard. Medifast works. I'm going to give it another try and see if I can get past the 'hump' - where I miss chewing. And I miss 'crunch'. And if I can stick with it for a couple weeks and start to FEEL better, and see that I'm losing (pants less tight, etc.), it will get easier. And I know exercise is critically important. And I'm going to try to find something I can do that's relatively low impact. Maybe back to the Wii Fit - it was fun and easy and while I can't say it's a great 'workout', it at least gets me up and moving, which is what is needed.
I know, you've heard it all before. I know. I've said it to myself a million times before. It's the pits, huh? As you age, the weight just creeps on and on and on....and you can't stop that cycle easily. I lose. And then I gain it back. And once I passed 45 years old, all the weight I've lost that I'm gaining back goes directly to my middle. It's horrible. It bugs me sooo much!
We are doing back to school shopping tomorrow. I feel like we're living out in the middle of nowhere 'cuz we are making a 'day trip' to go to Stoneridge Mall in Pleasanton, shop and have lunch out and then get back here in time to pick up our weekly produce order before the health food store closes. And then I'm planning to work most of Sunday. It will be a busy weekend! BUT, I DO most DEFINITELY get to sleep in for two days in a row, which is a nice thing.
Time to get moving. Even if it's just heading upstairs to get to bed shortly.
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Tales of Helpers
Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)'...
