Nothing about Nothing

Long week. Painful in many ways. Many of which are not discussable in this forum. Work is work. That's why they call it work....

So I will offer a cornucopia of observations on no particular subject, in no particular order.

First - the Olympics Opening Ceremonies. All I can say is wow! WOW!!! 1,000,000 times WOW. It was incredible - amazing! I just can't get over it - and we didn't tape it, and I'm not sure why we didn't, except that most Opening Ceremonies, while pretty cool, are not something we feel compelled to watch again and again. But THIS Opening Ceremony was one I'd really like to see again and again...so we're hoping to find it being rebroadcast somewhere and/or on DVD. It was awe-inspiring. Truly.

Next, the Steven Curtis Chapman family who appeared on Good Morning America on Wednesday and Larry King Live on Thursday. What a lesson in faith they are. What an amazing family - I can't describe how touched I was to watch them - how open and real they are about their faith. The Larry King Live interview was hard to watch - I don't like his style and felt he was abrupt and harsh at times, especially with Will, the son who was behind the wheel in the accident that killed Maria. But, I softened a bit towards Larry today when I watched a followup segment he taped where he spoke about how amazing he felt they were - and how he really seemed to envy their faith, something he admits he does not have. So maybe God worked a little in Larry's heart through the Chapman's story - and through their faith, which is so real and strong and such an integral part of their day to day lives.

One of the stories the Chapman's shared on LKL was this: After the accident, Steven and Caleb (their other son) kept saying, 'if we could just SEE that she was OK. If only we could see something to know she was alright'...even with their faith, they still prayed for some 'proof '. The day after the accident, they returned to their home to get clothes, etc. And there, on the art table, was a card Maria had worked on the morning of the accident. She had just turned 5 and while she could write a few words, she really didn't have a lot of words she was able to write. And there on the table was this card - with a six petal flower, the way kids draw flowers - a circle in the middle and six other circles for the petals. And one of the petals was colored in. The others were not. So one 'petal' for each child in the family - and only one colored in. Steven said 'the one child who is whole, with Jesus'. And on the card, one word - SEE. She had never written that word before. Never. And there it was. They didn't know she even knew the word. But she did - and she wrote it that day for the first time and left it on the table. Waiting for them. I still get goose bumps when I think about it. What more tangible proof could there be? Oh, I know - some people will say 'coincidence'. I used to think that about a lot of things. But the more I started to live by faith, the more those coincidences keep happening. More and more and more. And for me, now, I call them 'God moments'. I have them all the time....at work, at home. Things I'm needing and desiring and praying for - and then they happen. Small, mundane things that get resolved - and I realize 'wow, I think He heard me'. And He does. He heard the Chapman's pray for the ability to 'see' she was OK. And there it was. That's God, folks. God. Plain and simple and watching and listening all the time.

I am struggling these days with so many things. The kids try my patience in ways I couldn't have imagined 17 1/2 years ago when I had the first one. They irritate me. Frustrate me. Make me doubt myself. My parenting skills. My ability to cope with their never-ending teenage-ness. I don't like them sometimes. And I dislike myself even more when I feel that way about them. It's becoming a never-ending state of mind lately. It never wavers. I am hard on myself - and hard on them. And then it repeats, over and over.

I had a nice, pleasant lunch with B. earlier this week - it's harder and harder to converse with them, even when they're not irritating me and I, them. But we wedged in a nice lunch - just the two of us. And I had a brief glimmer/reminder that he really is such a nice young man. He is getting excited about his Senior year and then college. He seemed motivated and happy and enjoying his last week of summer vacation. It was great to have some one on one time with him.

H. got his referee certificate today - so he can officially referee at soccer matches. He's excited about the money he'll earn - but yet, we had to drag him out of bed today in time to get to his training class. So it's going to be up to us to keep him on schedule. Which I'm thinking we won't do - it will be up to him to get up and get moving. If he misses games, he'll lose the opportunity. And I say that but know we won't do it - we'll get him up. We'll suffer his angst and rudeness and general teenage-ness. And one of us will schlep him to and from, since he isn't driving yet. What a great time that will be. We'll see how it goes. His first few paychecks will go to us to pay us back for the $113 of books he lost that we had to pay for before he could register for school.