Berthing Issues

We logged on to our NCL account last night to look at excursions and dream about our next cruise and discovered that due to a berthing issue in Mazatlan, our cruise itinerary has changed.  No more Puerto Vallarta - goodbye, Las Caletas - instead we will be in Mazatlan and Cabo.  It's OK...will still be an outstanding cruise - but I am sad about missing Las Caletas.  It's magical and I'd really been looking forward to it.

But my work screen saver is a picture I took sailing around Cabo and that was a very fun day as well...so we'll book another sail trip and enjoy the sun and surf via sail boat instead of the beach.

Yesterday, I happened to glance out my office window at just the right time to see someone who looked very much like J. entering the District Office grounds yesterday - I grabbed my keys and raced outside and there was H. standing by the locked gate.  He had to be in Tracy yesterday for a dentist appointment and he wanted to surprise me by stopping by.

I was less than excited about the surprise and not at all thrilled about H. being at my office.  Many people know the situation - there was no way I could get through all that happened with no one at work knowing what was happening - and I really don't want (even the new) H. hanging out at my work.

I emailed J. separately to say all of the above and he agreed and said that he was pretty sure I would feel that way but H. wanted to surprise me.  My suggestion is next time that happens, have him surprise me by meeting me at McDonald's or Starbucks - or even at the house.

H. was at the house for a bit - gathered up some clothes, his drones, looked for his heavy jacket and got a blanket for his bed.  It felt strange having him here - I felt uneasy the entire time.  But that's probably just the norm - I feel uneasy with him pretty much all the time.

I wonder if that will ever change and I shared those feelings with a friend and he said 'rebuilding trust takes a very long time - you know that because you've been through it before with this son - so be patient with yourself.  It will happen'.

I hope he's right.  He's one of the wisest people I know and a dear friend who has always cared about our family - and I'm grateful for his counsel.

My heart feels really sad to be feeling that way towards H. - but it's hard to reconcile everything that happened with him (and her).  I wish I could just magically erase a lot of hard memories - but I can't.  Just have to keep moving forward - and feel very ready for a fresh start in Nevada.  It sounds so bad to say that?  But really, truly - we are ready. 

I was supposed to trek to Hayward this morning for a counseling session but I cancelled instead.  I'm in need of a no commitment day and today is that day for the next couple weeks.

I just reviewed our budget again to be sure we are on the right track with the CC house.  Heading into being 'both retired' and nearly doubling our monthly outflow for our house seems counter-intuitive for a retirement plan - but once again, I feel confident we can manage.

We received the HOA documents yesterday and wow - there are a lot of rules and regulations we will have to follow - including some very specific landscaping guidelines that have me a bit flummoxed.  My idea of planting a back yard full of shrubs and wildflowers is not happening because we are required to 'group' plant of same color and cluster them - since our back yard will be visible from the golf course.  I get it - trying to maintain the right 'look' is important - but we'll have to regroup around the yards.  We get to do both, it turns out.  So we'll have a lot to plan and have only six months to do all of it before we risk being fined for not doing it.

It's been a long time since we've had to deal with HOA and I'm sure hoping this isn't going to be a PITA.  I figure if it is, we'll sell and move somewhere else, right?  (Not likely that will happen but...you never know).

We are hoping to get up to CC in late September to meet with the financing people.  We've submitted our floor plan idea - including our wish list items - and maybe they will be ready to sit down and talk it through by then?  It's a month away so we'll see.

Looking forward to a quiet day of piddling around the homestead.  I'm planning to go into the office for a few hours tomorrow - and then will head into Labor Day weekend in full tilt mode.  I'm pretty much 'done' with year end - ahead of schedule - but there are a lot of little pieces to wrap up. 

We interview for my assistant position this week - fingers crossed we find someone.