Pride

There are other posts in draft stage - sort of a travelogue of the trip.  All the spectacularly amazing things that happened that had my heart soaring most of the time, though also had a lump in my throat. Simultaneously.  What a wonderful week....I might post them later - they need refining and I have no time to refine at the moment.  Being off for six wonderful days has led to the hardest 'vacation return' ever - and it sure as heck isn't helping that my assistant is off this week.  Boy - I miss her.  All the little things she does that I don't have to think about are on my plate - so I'm getting to nothing 'big' - but I will.

Leaving B. was so incredibly hard.  Broke my heart to drive away as he gave a little wave.  Like when he was five and heading to kindergarten.  Since I caught the tail end of his wave, I felt compelled to give the horn a little honk to get his attention - and he waved again only with a slightly more 'oh, come on mom' look to it.  We had talked about goodbyes....how they are hard so let's just let it be once we've done it.  But did I risk him thinking we didn't care about his wave?  Couldn't do that.  Turned out (via text) he was fine with it.

So it's now Wednesday and yesterday morning, B. had a crushing disappointment.  He failed his Physical Test on Monday morning - and sadly failed the retest on Tuesday morning as well.  So he's out of Airborne - and RASP - and pretty much any 'elite' squad.  To say he's been having a hard time with that is the understatement of the millennium and there's not much we can do to help him through it.  We are trying.  Reminding him that he DID accomplish an amazing goal of getting a RASP contract out of Basic - nearly impossible from what he'd been told during the enlistment process.  But he DID IT.  We couldn't be any prouder of him - no matter what - but still, of course, he is disappointed.

So for now, he's awaiting his next assignment.  J. and I have read a lot and it's possible - not likely - but possible - he could be 'recycled' and given another shot in a few weeks.  In the mean time, he's doing 'incredibly boring' stuff and is pretty miserable.  But we figure miserable is good - considering they could ship him up to the infantry battalion right there on base (where he was originally assigned to before he made RASP in Basic) and they haven't yet.  We are hopeful that's a good sign?  We don't want to say that to him 'cuz it might give him false hope - and we don't want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed again.  But we hope.

Some guys out of Basic who had RASP and decided not to do it were offered placements in PARIS and HAWAII!  Wouldn't that be lovely?  Not likely - but we are focusing on possibilities because those are more encouraging.

Whatever happens, we are steadfastly impressed with his motivation and dedication.  Damn push ups.  He missed by two.  TWO.

This turn of events hasn't lessened the highlights of last week; the pride we feel for what B. has accomplished and that he is, in fact, officially a soldier in the United States Army.....

Parenting is hard.  Damn hard.