Jury Duty

Myself and about 90 other people dutifully filed into the courthouse yesterday morning at 9:30AM. Jury selection began a little later than 9:30 but we were trucking along throughout the day.  We ended up with 12 jurors in the box and 6 alternates - then we went on break - and upon returning, we were down 4.  Then the attorneys had their opportunity to drop whomever they wanted for whatever reason they had with no explanation - and we lost a couple more.  Alternates moved into the jury box and more alternates were chosen randomly.  A few more dropped out - questioning revealed concerns and after breaks, those folks were not there.  At the end of the day, we were short 4 and the judge decided not to do anymore selection and the day ended.

It started again this morning at 9:30 and I prayed 'please don't call my name'.  I joked to the guy sitting next to me - who was the guy I sat next to yesterday most of the day only we were on the wall side of the row which would have made it very challenging to get out to the aisle if our name had been called - 'we're on the aisle today - hope this isn't an omen'.

My name was the 2nd name called.  I felt like I was going to throw up.  The physical change I felt overwhelm me as soon as I was one of 18 instead of one of dozens was overwhelming - my heart was pounding; my palms were sweaty.  I sat through an hour and a half of being questioned by the two attorneys and the judge - and stepped gingerly out on limbs as I said many of the things I ruminated about all night - and still thought 'crap, what am I going to do about work'.

The judge called a break and a young man in the jury box asked to speak to the judge.  I started to exit - last one out the door - but I stopped myself and turned around and asked the bailiff 'may I please stay and speak to the judge'?

I told the judge that I was panicked about how to handle my job - explained that I am the only person in my district who can do what I do; huge report due to our board in December and then to our COE and the State, eventually.  Not to mention negotiations.  I told the judge that I was feeling completely panicked about work - and he acknowledged 'we need you to focus 100% on the case and it sounds like you're having a hard time doing that'.  So he asked the attorneys and one said she was fine and the other said he would defer to the court.  The judge said 'you can stand down, Ms. M.' - meaning be excused.

I walked out of the courtroom down the long hall with all the other juror eyes feeling like they were peeling off my skin - and headed downstairs to have my badge scanned as 'excused', get my parking ticket validated and headed to the garage.

On the way to the car (it's a little bit of a walk), I passed a small store and felt 'I need carbs' - so I grabbed a small bag of baked Ruffles and headed to the counter.  The guy (really nice - so welcoming) said 'that's 50 cents'.  And I took a $20 out of my wallet and said 'I'm so sorry but this is all I have' - and he said 'the chips are on me today!'.  So kind.

I drove most of the way home and stopped at the easiest drive-through Starbucks and got a huge iced tea.  I just felt overwhelmed and 'spent' so I called work and said I was going to use 4 hours jury duty and 4 hours sick time and call it a day - I just needed time to regroup.

The jury case is the death of a child by beating - and I can't tell you how many nights I've spent since October 18th (when I first appeared) ruminating about it all.  Yesterday, a part of the jury discussion included corporal punishment - spanking, specifically - and 'spanking' using objects like wooden spoons, belts or hair brushes.  Made me nauseous.

I will watch the news and keep an eye on the trial and await the verdict - and then the judge will decide sentencing -

I'm glad it's done.  I am so relieved to be trekking (trudging) back to work tomorrow.

In other news, Chloe has been deemed 'spoiled' by the vet - her blood glucose isn't tracking right - so instead of feeding her morning, mid-day and evening, we are now feeding her only morning and evening.  And I won't be feeding her as soon as I get up - I will wait to feed her just before J. comes downstairs and he will give her insulin as soon as he's up.  I can do it - I know I should do it - but honestly, adding one more thing to my list of things I trudge through 1/2 asleep seems overwhelming and especially so in that it involves sharp things and getting the right dosage into the syringe, etc. .

She is whining like a champ constantly at the moment and her dinner hour is still 1.75 hours away.