Morning Christmas Eve

Started the day off with yard work...another storm accomplished ridding the maples of more leaves. Thankfully, one is now naked and the other has just a few left.  I also trimmed all the dead off the plants in the patio pots - I'm toying with the idea of somehow covering them for 'winter' but having never done that, I'm not sure what to use.  Saran Wrap?  Wax paper weighted down with stones? (We don't have any stones so that might be a problem).  I think they will be OK but if we really do have frost warnings, I will at least throw dish towels over them for the coldest nights.

Visitors safely made it to Portland and we had a fun time - we made fudge (which I've never done) and it's delicious!!  It was a fun visit and we're looking forward to having them return on their drive back home next week.

B. sent a card to all of us - and enclosed a gift card for me - thanks to him and my sweet cousin, my Starbucks card is well loaded!  His card is super sweet.  I know he'd shudder at the 'sweet' description but it is.  It really warms the heart to have someone who is kind, funny, big-hearted and missing us like crazy - as we are him.  He will be with friends this evening and I know the Mom of the family he is with put the presents we sent under their tree - 'cuz he asked me.  He said 'Jeff's mom wants to know if the presents are all wrapped'.  I'm sure he'll have a wonderful time - but we sure are missing him.

H.?  I don't know what to say about him these days.  I'm bitterly angry and beside myself with his shenanigans and feel powerless and pissed off.  I've told him he needs to leave - and I mean it.  But I realize he has nowhere to go and no money to get there or support himself.  But I'm not kidding - I'm not deviating from this plan and keep reminding both him and J. that he needs to get out.  Find a job; do whatever - but I don't want him here anymore.  I'm tired of being lied to repeatedly; tired of his stupid denials; tired of him taking advantage of our generosity and hospitality.  I'm just so damn tired.

Maybe he's in a hard place right now in his head - I've been there and I understand.  But I was also there in my early 20's and the one glaring difference?  I was still supporting myself and going to school.  So if he's having emotional health issues, he needs to get treatment and still figure out how to live a life....not here.

So it's not exactly the merriest of Christmases this year and that's OK.  There's still presents under the tree and good food to be enjoyed.  And wine.  Lots of wine.  :-)

Already approaching the 1/2 way point of the break and as always, it goes by so incredibly fast.  I have things I need to do - committed to doing - but I keep postponing.  Next week.  I will get to things next week -

Might head out this evening with travel mugs full of cocoa and look at lights.  We haven't done that in a long time and it will be fun.  I'm sure H. won't be with us 'cuz he's rarely here...and you're probably thinking 'well isn't that a good thing since you don't want him there now anyway?'.  And true - he's not here - but we often have no idea where he is or what he's doing and it's not a permanent 'not here'. He just hangs out with various people.

I'm watching baking shows!!  And planning a quick grocery run.  I've been craving Mexican Hominy like crazy and need to get supplies to make it.  And also getting the makings for Burgundy Mushrooms which simmer for 9 hours and are delicious!!