Losing My Shit

I've been watching the status of the case I almost served on the jury for - periodically checking the court website to see what's happening.  Jury trial still proceeding though according to the timeline the judge presented, it should be wrapping up and in the hands of the jury by next week at the latest.

I don't know what compelled me to do this - but I entered our last name into the database - and guess what?  There's a pending case on record for H.!  What, you ask?  Us too!  The date of 'infraction' was 11/22 and it's set for 'appearance' or 'due' on 12/20.

He swore the cop told him it was a warning - and when I said 'get your ass out to your car NOW and bring me the paperwork', he did.  No sign of it being a warning.  It's a ticket for going 75 in a 55 zone and it's a ticket.

I totally lost my cool - and I admit when it comes to parenting him lately, 'my cool' is in short supply.

I don't know what to do - I honestly don't understand what is happening with him.  Counseling?  He can go as often as he wants but doesn't make it a priority.  School?  He's going - but I am in serious doubt at this point that he's passing.  He's just a wreck.

Friend drama....that's what he always says.  He's got himself so immersed in other people's crap - he's not dealing with his own.

I am angry that he never mentioned he'd been pulled over.  As if we wouldn't figure it out?  What was he going to do when the 'bill' for the ticket arrives in the mail in a couple weeks?

I'm more sure than ever that he's going to have his license suspended.  And I'm thinking he may actually have to appear vs. pay a fine 'cuz the DMV is going to see how many points he has at this point and make him show up before the judge.

Merry Christmas.

I think I'll make paying the fine (if we can pay a fine) his Christmas present.  That's it.  A copy of the check I'll mail to pay the fine wrapped in a box.

He should pay the fine, you say?  Yes, he should....but his savings is dwindling weekly and he can't afford things like this and still finish paying for school.

And no, there's no way for him to get to school on public transit.  No way.

I came home after a long, long day of negotiations in which I realized that it's likely I will be working quite a bit over the two week break to get the negotiations stuff drafted in time for our January board meeting.  I'm not thrilled about that but it is what it is.  J. made me a beer with a shot (or two) of Fireball whiskey in it.  I drank about half, ate crap for dinner (and a great steak lovingly prepared by hubby so I had protein with the crap) and am watching The Great American Baker recorded last night.

Heading up to bed shortly.  Hoping for a night of decent sleep, no alarm clock and then heading to the office for at least part of the day both Saturday and Sunday.

Everything will work out OK - one way or another, it will work out.