Announcements

Holy Crap! I just spent $275 on B.'s senior package - announcements, thank you notes, cap and gown, etc. And we haven't even ordered his class ring yet. Wow.

It really isn't the money that's got me flummoxed. It's just the first real, tangible 'proof' that my baby is growing up. He will be 18 in three months - and I look at him and just think 'where did it go? When did his childhood get replaced with adulthood? Was I there? Did I witness it? 'Cuz I don't remember much about it - except he used to be the size of a loaf of bread. He used to laugh at my jokes and try so hard to make me laugh. He used to think I was the coolest person he knew - me and his dad were his best friends. Where did all that go?'.

People say 'don't worry - he'll come back'. Acknowledging that all teens pull away - and desire to be as far, far away as humanly possible. I DO remember those feelings in myself as a teen. My mom was just so 'uncool' and completely didn't understand me. I wanted to live anywhere but where I was living and wanted to live with anyone but who I was living with. I do remember those feelings. And then, somewhere along the road, my mom was my best friend for a long time, in my college years and young adult years. And I came back. So I hope all those people are right. I hope there will come a day when he will be happy to see us, happy to spend hours sharing his life with us over a cup of coffee and/or dinner now and then. I pray for that.

For now, he's excited about his future (as he should be) and looking forward to some 'new' independence at college (also as he should be). And I place the orders and pay the bills and think 'I miss my baby'. My sweet, bald-headed, blue-eyed wonder kid.

He's still all those things - he's just a lot taller and has a lot more hair. And I love him beyond words. And am so incredibly proud of him.

Graduation announcements. Wow. Just ......wow.