Choice

One of the ballot measures we Californians are considering is Proposition 8, now titled 'Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry'. It was originally titled 'California Marriage Protection Act'. This proposition would eliminate the right of same sex couples to marry in California. The title was changed by our State's Attorney General "to more accurately reflect the measure" and was also supported by the Supreme Court - the same Supreme Court who agreed that same sex couples unequivocally have the constitutional right to marry in this State.

Now, I know this is a controversial proposition - and I know many of the people reading may possibly never read again once I've expressed my view. I don't want to offend anyone. We are all certainly entitled to our strongly held personal opinions. I have mine. You have yours. Let's agree we may not agree and agree to just listen.

Our church is working hard on community outreach. Our pastor has created two positions for 'church planting' - going out into our community and reaching out to people who need hope. Who are looking for a faith home to feel welcome in. It's working. Our Sunday crowd is growing and the people attending cross all economic sectors and all races. It's wonderful. I love it. I love that it's working and people are coming to Jesus. And those individuals coming to our services include some gay couples... which I also love. I have many friends who are gay. I love the diversity of our State and our progressive views on things like people choosing to love who they love - regardless of gender.

So it's upsetting to me to hear that our Pastor is encouraging people to vote 'Yes' on Proposition 8 - which if the 'yes' votes prevail, will eliminate the ability of same-sex couples to marry. Set aside your feelings of 'yuck' (if that's the reaction you have thinking of same-sex couples) and realize that what this Proposition is basically about is rights. It's about the right to legally make your partner your legal partner - with all the legal protections that designation allows. Without it, they cannot make decisions for each other in times of crisis. They cannot protect their loved one from financial ruin in the event of death. They are just asking to have the same legal rights as any married couple. Oh, and they are simply asking for the right to publicly declare they will be with each other for the rest of their lives. What is possibly wrong with that?

It has bothered me so much that I honestly have been avoiding church lately. I personally don't think Jesus cares....I think He, of ALL people, would want people to love who they love. That's what we've taught our kids. When they would come home from preschool saying 'Sara says her mom says that two ladies who love each other are from Mars', we would reply 'well, that's not true - and in this family, we think people can love whomever they choose. It's love that's important. Not the gender of the persons in love'. It's what I believe in my core. With all my heart. And it breaks my heart to find out that the Pastor that has changed my view of Jesus and faith is now also encouraging our entire congregation to vote 'yes' on the Proposition that will eliminate the right that allows ANY COUPLE - including same sex couples - in our State to marry.

I don't think the measure will pass. I think we are a very, VERY progressively thinking State and I think the majority of our voters support the rights of couples to marry. Period. But I know that clearly, our church - or at least, our church leader - doesn't. And I'm not sure how to wrap my head around that right now.

J. and I have talked a lot about it. When we joined the church, the 'what are your feelings on homosexuality' was not a question we asked. And I told J. 'I didn't ask because I think I knew the answer - and I loved the church and loved the belonging and loved the people - so I didn't ask 'cuz once I asked, I'd know - and I would probably have to decide to not attend there'.

So I'm on the fence about the church part. I still go. And I still love our pastor - an amazing man who loves Jesus and God more than anyone I've ever met. He is still amazing. But I don't want to welcome people into our church home who then feel offended at being there. How can we welcome EVERYONE and then say 'but we don't think you deserve the legal protection and the right to marry each other? But hey, Jesus loves you and so do we'? It just feels hypocritical. And I'm really wrestling with it.