Week 2, Day 6

Broke the streak. Sorry. We were just busy yesterday morning and then headed to the party around 4ish. After trip to grocery store for ice, beverages, stuff we needed for the week. It was mobbed, as I completely expected - and I was alone and it took FOREVER to get what we needed and get out of there. Ice was being purchased by the cart full and I barely managed to get two small bags to chill our drinks.

The party was great fun, as they always are with these friends. We had carne asada, enchiladas, beans, rice, fruit salad, watermelon. DELICIOUS. And then churros, crisp tortillas with cinnamon sugar and cake for dessert! And I had two Blue Hawaiian Bartles and James coolers. Awoke this morning with a headache - largely due to not drinking enough water. We sat outside in the heat most of the afternoon and I didn't drink enough. Shame on me. Anyway, coffee and two aspirin and I'm feeling pretty great.

Heading to Lodi for lunch with a friend. Then back home to work on all the 'work' stuff that I haven't touched. The time has come. Day after tomorrow, it's back to the trenches and I have some 'prep' work to do to get my desk in order. I've been checking emails off and on so my 'in' box is fairly current. But I have to make a list of the 'action' items from those emails so I can take care of them first thing upon returning.

No bread starter last night. Guess it's tonight or never. Well, I can still try on Friday evenings and that gives me the weekend for being successful. I'm not giving up! But it sure has been a discouraging two weeks of failed attempts. Patience. Learning patience.

There are a variety of issues relating to our progeny that I will skip the details of. Suffice it to say: teenage boys are a pain in the ass and I have TWO OF THEM. I frequently think I wish I could move to an apartment - just a small haven of peace. The next house we have will have some kind of 'mom's retreat' built in - a studio out back? Or over the garage. I want to escape all the angst but there's no where to go! And I know I'm somewhat responsible for the angst, because I'm the mom - and I have expectations. How dare I? Respect, contributing to our family in a meaningful way, politeness, follow-through....reasonable, don't you think? Sadly, no, though - I am their antagonist, their meddler, their 'she who must be gotten away from as soon as possible lest she think of something else we should be doing'. I don't like that role.

The friends we partied with yesterday think of our kids as their kids, as we think of theirs as ours. But the truth is, our kids love to hang there more than their kids love to hang here. That's partly a factor of the 'what is there'. They have a pool table, dartboard, ping pong, huge, HUGE pool, and XBox. We have the Wii, and PS3 and a pool - but not much else. So our kids live there in the summer - the mom is a teacher so she's home all summer. And I feel kind of 'jealous' at times. Jealous that my kids want to be THERE more than they want to be HERE. I shouldn't feel that way. But I do. And last night, we heard that the reason B. spent the entire day and night there on Tuesday (July 1) was because it was the dad's birthday and they had a special surprise for him - C., the son, wrapped B. from head to toe in gift wrap and put a bow on his head - and B. waited in a closet until the dad got home - and that was his gift - B. wrapped up!. It makes perfect since because B. loves the dad, loves him like he loves his own dad. And yet, I thought to myself 'he didn't go to anywhere near that much trouble for MY birthday, nor for his own Dad's birthday....but for his friends Dad, it's an all out, day long event.' And I felt jealous about that. Which of course made me sad and angry at myself for being so petty and prideful.

I have more to write about this subject but I have to get on the road to Lodi.