Blog-gate

There's a bit of a scandal going on in the blog world these days. You can read about it here. Or here.

It's a nice lead-in to a post that's been formulating in my head for some time....about this thing called blogging.

The strange thing about this form of communication is that you really do get 'attached' to the people you meet through reading about their lives. It's odd how close I feel to people I've never met. People I probably never will physically meet. My therapist thinks I like reading blogs because I spent most of my childhood 'observing'. Watching from the sidelines, quietly - silently. She may be right. That, and I've always loved to read - and always like to read about things that are 'true' just as much as I like to read a good fiction story. But it's easy to get more invested when you know you are reading about real people and real life. I do 'get to know' these people, via their words. And pictures. And videos.

I read a lot of blogs. And I trust that all the things I'm reading are 'true'. And these recent events - which at first, look like plagiarism (which is bad enough) and then turn into (skeptically, but by all appearances so far, true) something quite different - are just so incredibly bizarre. Someone needing to create an alter identity - because the life s/he's been living isn't adequate, somehow. Wow. I can sort of understand that blogdom lets you be anyone you want to be. That's possibly part of the attraction for some people - for this person, it was. But for me, it's really about just writing because I love to write. And if people read, and keep reading because they enjoy it, all the better.

There are some amazing blogs out there - Kate of sweetsalty.com is one of them. That someone stole her words - and her life - is unbelievable. I feel sad for the person that did this - they are in need of help, obviously. Kate's words have moved me in a way that is hard to describe. Like a wonderful book that you can't wait to read - that always leaves you gob-smacked at how eloquently she says things. I love reading her blog. But I don't know her. And I probably never will.

I read another blog - and have corresponded via emails occasionally with another lady who uses a fictitious name. And her kids have different names in her blog, as do her husband and her step kids. I've been adjusting to this because it recently hit me hard, when I realized through one of her posts that her kids names in her blog aren't their real names. And it sort of left me 'lost' for a minute - like 'how can I not know their true names'? I feel like they are Nick and Nora, but they are not. And I don't know their true names. Nor hers. She wrote me a thank you card for a gift I sent to her babies awhile back - and though I trusted her with my real name and my home address, she put no return address on hers, nor did she sign her real name. And oddly, that hurt my feelings - I don't even know her but it felt like we were 'friends'. But we aren't, really. We're just acquaintances in the blogdom.

I do understand it. I don't use my family's first names, either - primarily because they're fairly unique (B. is the only B. in his entire school - and while we've encountered his name here and there, it's not all that common). And like any mom, or any blogger, I'm protective of their privacy. And my own - though I also recently learned that if you type in my name and the word 'blog' on Google, you will find this site. My first instinct to that realization (which I learned from a daily reader/dear friend) was to make the blog accessible via password only. But then I thought 'what's the point'? In this Internet age, there's not much private anymore. Anyone can know fairly quickly how much we paid for our home; how much property tax we pay; etc. There's not all that much privacy out there these days, really, with the Internet teaching people how to find whatever they're looking for. And I decided if I'm writing, anyone should be able to read it - not just people I've invited - but anyone.

I do avoid writing in any specific detail about work - I don't want to be dooced (another favorite blog I read - dooce.com). Other than that, I don't really have a theme or a plan - it's just me writing things about my days that I want to remember. And want my kids....and hopefully their kids...to read someday. To get to know me. To remember me.

My only regret is that I didn't blog when the kids were babies. Granted, it wasn't as prevalent then - the Internet was 'new' (and I recall saying 'it will never amount to anything' - wow, have I had to eat those words!). But oh, how I wish I had all those memories - of first words, first steps, all the magical things that make up babies - somewhere to read. And re-read. My kids will have that from me, though for only their 'child/teen' years - not too much of their early lives. I wish that were different. So I read about other people's babies and remember. And I keep writing the now - so it will be their in the future. When I can't remember. When I want my grand kids to know about their dads. Wow, that's going to be fun!