Dinner

We had dinner with B. in San Jose this evening.  They spent the day going to Moffitt Airbase for their medical exam, signing their 'official' contract, etc. .  He texted us to ask about coming for dinner - requesting In & Out (he couldn't leave the hotel they were staying in) and asked J. to bring some extra shirts, a pair of gym shorts, extra underwear and socks - so he could work out tonight and still have clean clothes for the trip tomorrow.

We were still planning to go to the airport tomorrow - but it's a 2 hour drive in morning commute traffic - and he has to be at the airport at 6AM.  He also asked us to consider not coming - because he's a bit older than many of the new recruits and is coming in at a slightly higher 'rank' - so he's automatically probably going to be assigned a 'group' to be in charge of tomorrow morning and he'd like to 'just have to deal with that'.

So tonight we said the last goodbye for 12-14 weeks - and I really, truly was glad it was the last.  I don't think my heart could handle another long goodbye tomorrow at the airport.  All this emotion in a condensed time period has me exhausted.

That - and I got up at 5:45 this morning to be 'ready' to go in case he called - and to test the waters of early morning rising after 20 plus days of 8-10 hours of blissful sleep each night.  This morning sucked....I made espresso for the first time in a couple weeks just to give myself a jump start.  It didn't work all that well - so getting up uber-early tomorrow to leave the house by 4 to get there on time would be really hard....

I am planning to be off most of tomorrow - possibly working in the afternoon as a way to have a place to go while the housekeepers are here.  I really should work - but with every ounce of my being, I don't want to....

But I have to -

B. seems very excited about it all - and that really helps send him off.  It also helped a bit that he was tired and cranky - making the goodbye easier than yesterday.

I grocery shopped today and filled up my car.

It's been a wonderful break - and sending off one of the children is certainly hard.  It is very different sending him far, far away to a career that truly may someday put his life in danger.  Intentionally.  He is making this choice to serve intentionally.

When H. leaves, it will be another milestone and that will be hard, too - but he will be here in town.  He'll still come for Sunday dinner and other dinners and to raid the pantry or the fridge.  He will come and do laundry and help out with stuff we need help with.  He will text us regularly and call often...no restrictions on when he can and when he can't do those things.

B. won't do any of those things for a long, long time.  Who knows where he will end up.  And when.  He promises he will write - but who knows?  He has a long list of people he intends to write to and it's hard for me to think he will put 'parents' at the top of that list.  But you never know.  He was already pining away for Chloe like crazy - yet admonishing us to not send him pics of her lest he be teased unmercifully.  He asked what we would be sending him for his birthday - hinting he wants an iPad.  THAT is not happening.  No way.  And the day before he was just stressing how he wanted NOTHING to be sent - not a single thing - not even a card - 'cuz he doesn't want to be hazed or teased when it's his birthday.  He's a murky mess of conflicting emotions....and we won't be in town and nearby to help him sort stuff out.  He's truly on his own.

It's different with him.  It's much different.  We've known this was coming for a long time - so we are 'ready'.  As ready as we can be, anyway....

For now, I am incredibly tired after the first really long day I've had in close to three weeks...and I'm heading up to my last night of sleeping in with wild abandon!  Tomorrow, it will be a low key morning and then lunch with a co-worker followed by easing into work for a 1/2 day.  I truly did not work much at all (for me) over the break - and that was wonderful and I needed it.  But reality looms large and there is much to do.

It's a new year and I feel motivated.  J. is making great progress on things and I find myself pitching in and doing what I can.  I head outside and work in the yard a bit - it's not a lot but it's something.  I figure doing things as I can, when I can - even small things done consistently - will help.

God speed, B. .  Be safe and happy and respectful.  Remember who you are.... We love you very much and are so, so proud of you.  You are amazing!  And you are going to do great things -