Chocolate

I went to lunch today - I really went to get more iced tea (being up since 3:30 this morning working on budget had me feeling sleepy at noon so I went out for reinforcements) and walked right past the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory that opened in the Cold Stone Creamery store. I wandered in and left with $5 of chocolate covered potato chips - it was 1/4 pound - so that's $20 a pound. I just had to try them and thankfully, they are something I can live without 'cuz at $20 a pound, I absolutely cannot afford to grow particularly fond of them. Plus, I could make my own pretty easily).

We had H.'s girl friend over for the day yesterday - a rare thing since I wasn't home. I talked to her mom to be sure she knew there was no parent at home. Confirmed B. was home....and confirmed that I only work 1.7 miles away and planned to do drive by's (of my own house) periodically, including stopping in unannounced. Which I did and found nothing amiss. She stayed for dinner.

I'm not seeking a huge friendship with this young lady, but let's just say there's a lot to be desired on the 'social' and 'communication' front. She did not say a single word to me the entire time she was here. H. insists she said 'hi' when I came in the room both times I entered - but I heard nothing. It's possible she said it - I possibly didn't hear her. But I did spend 1.5 hours in the kitchen working my ass off (after a 12 hour day) cooking dinner....and still, no talk. Nothing. H. sets the table for dinner (which he had to be prompted to do) and then the two of them disappear to the living room - and when I said 'hello, are you eating?' there was angst on all sides. I finally just said 'ok, I'm done - dinner is in the kitchen and you two are on your own'. I guess they ate - I don't really know.

I was raised that you offer to help. Your hostess may decline your offer but the polite thing to do is to offer. I was raised that you are cordial and friendly - not completely silent and non-responsive. It just doesn't add up for me. I don't know what her home situation is, really - and I alternate between feeling sort of sorry for her (and thankful she has H. in her life) and being hugely irritated. H. says 'she thinks you and Dad are the greatest - she loves you guys'. And I think 'where does that come from because she has never (in over a year of dating H.) had a conversation with me.

I was pissed off last night - I told H. after she left 'if she is going to continue to be a frequent guest in our home - and I am more than happy to have her here as often as she'd like - then she is going to have to work on her communication skills. She is going to HAVE TO communicate. Even just spend a teeny bit of time in the kitchen with me, conversing a teeny, tiny bit - or I'm not comfortable having her here. She needs to start having some sort of 'friendship' with your parents H. - not just hanging out with you, whispering every thing. He said 'she is just really, really shy, Mom'. 'H., I understand shy. I was shy. But this goes beyond shy. She's 'known' us for over a year now....I know she's only been here a few times, but she HAS been here and she has spent time here...so it's time to start stepping up and starting to have a 'friendship' with all the members of this house - not just you. '

It's an odd situation. I feel uneasy about it....and I'm upset at myself for being upset. I don't want that for my son - a needy, quiet, non-participative girl that hangs out with him and is so obviously socially uncomfortably awkward. She seems like a really nice girl - but there's no interaction that gives me any sense of what she's really like. Except for that she is all over my son like a fly on fly paper. They watched movies intertwined on the couch. Two kids snuggled on a couch with arms, legs, hands intertwined.

I told H. on the way home from B.'s graduation on Saturday (because there was a moment that seemed to allow for the conversation) that I was cautious about her because there are girls out there who are forward enough to create a situation that leads a young man to get into trouble - and while I really didn't think she was like that, I honestly didn't have any way of knowing what she's like since I've never talked to her, really. I cautioned him hugely - warned him that he's 16 and like all 16 year old boys, it will take about 10 seconds for him to get to a point where it will be too late...should she set her sights on something more physical, he will probably not be able to resist. He sort of gave me that 'look' of 'are you insane' ....but then he stopped and said 'ok, I know what you mean and I promise you - we have talked about it - and we are absolutely NOT having a physical relationship. Period'. I hope he's right...because I'm not too sure that she's not hoping for a relationship so she'll have her future all mapped out. I was a young teenage girl, too, once - and I was going to marry absolutely every guy who showed the slightest interest in me....so I know.

These years are sure challenging. I'm hoping the next time she's here, I can cajole her into coming into the kitchen and helping me bake some cookies or something. She loves my cookies - any and all of them.

OK - time for bed. More later.