Now There are Two

Two in high school. My baby went to high school yesterday. And unlike the 'sadness' of two years ago when it was B. going, it's H. And H. is my baby - my last. And he headed out to 'play with the big kids' yesterday morning. Being 'chauffeured' by his older brother. J. quickly grabbed the camera and we managed to get a photo of the boys before they headed out. One of the very rare times lately they were being cordial to each other. No more days of going into their classroom, writing their grade and the date on the whiteboard and getting a back to school photo. We had to run out to the driveway and torture them to get a pic - with B. saying 'we've really got to go' over and over. But that pic is a treasure - my young men going off to the trenches for another year of learning.

H. arrived home after football practice completely wiped out. Exhausted. Dragging through homework, paperwork, a trip to the mall for a pair of PE sneakers. Yet somehow perked up enough to be hanging out with B. until after 11. They were 'talking' about high school - being 'sweet' to each other, which they rarely are. So I scolded them slightly, reminded them what time it was and let them be. If high school gives them something to talk about that doesn't involve arguing, then I'm all for it and I'll let them chat all night long if they like. Though they will regret it in a few minutes when it's time to get up.

H. finds out tonight if he made the freshman football team. I have mixed feelings about it - but in general, I hope he makes it because he hopes he makes it. And I want them both to have what they desire. Even if it may result in bones being crushed. And most certainly will result in me worrying my way through 10 weeks of Thursday nights.

In theory, we have 4 more years of kids at home. Assuming they go away to college, which is a big assumption since we have no idea how we're going to pay for that. But we're taking it one day at a time, saving what we can as quickly as we can - but they will need to borrow and work through school and as that reality looms ever-closer, it's harder and harder for me to 'deal' with it. I am suggesting, strongly at times, that a community college for a couple years would be an awesome idea. They can live here, work part time and save up for two (or three) final years of an 'away' college. I hope they'll listen. I hate to have to put my foot down and insist on it, but it is really the most logical, feasible approach to the whole college thing. Phoenix College got me off to a great start and I finished my A.A. at Chaffey and then transferred to Cal Poly. And I know from personal experience that LPC is an amazingly fine institution.

So I continue to lobby strongly for 2 years at a far lower cost. I hope they'll listen. I don't want to disappoint them, but we have to be realistic.

I just have to have faith it will all work out. What will be, will be, and me fretting and worrying about it for 2-4 more years won't change it. We'll figure something out. I've even started resigning myself to working longer to 'make up' what we might have to withdraw from retirement savings to help them through college - something I never dreamed we'd need to or I'd be willing to do - but as the college expenses loom closer, I'm starting to think of any feasible option. Including hitting some retirement money which I'll have to work longer to replace. Not what I'd hoped for, but I'd do just about anything for those kids. I want them to have what I didn't have - an amazing college experience. Not working full time and going to school at the same time for 6 years to finally finish. I want them to have fun, work part time, live in a dorm. Have that college experience.

For now, we focus on the high school experience. B. is an 'upper class man' monitoring his freshman brother's every move. He'll keep a watchful eye out 'cuz B. is a great older brother. And they do love each other, in spite of the typical sibling angst that rears it's head in this house fairly frequently.

We'll survive. I'll keep you posted. At the moment, the biggest challenge is getting to school in time to get a parking space in the front lot. The school is finally 'under construction' and the main parking lot is closed. The school district has rented space at the old Heinz plant but it's a bit of a walk from that lot to the campus. And there's not enough spaces in that lot, either. The boys are aiming for a shortly after 7 departure each morning to get a prime spot. We'll see how long that lasts.