Flummoxed

Defined as: confused.

I arrive home with a quandary. It's a silly thing. And end of the day 'light bulb' thing - and it is so small and inconsequential, it's ridiculous for me to give it any thought. Allow it to impact my day in any way. And yet, it has flummoxed me. Completely. For how it affects me. For why it exists. It continues, and continues, and continues - and I think 'it will never end'. And I don't want it to 'never end'. It has to end.

People are so strange. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

OK - on to more interesting things.

Our modem broke yesterday and we had no internet for an evening. It was actually a good thing because I got a couple 'chore' things off my list - FINALLY sewed my Lions patch on my vest. It's been 5 months. Made a club visit in Liver more today to finish my Proud Lion requirements so getting that vest 'wearable' was important. Nothing like last minute.

We were worried because the kids use the internet a lot for homework, studying, etc. - and it's finals week. One of H's finals was ONLY an internet assignment to research some things. But thankfully, they didn't need it. So we told them it was broken and we ordered a new modem - which is true. But we didn't tell them that J. got out the really old, non-wireless modem and it works. So he and I have internet. The kids still think it's broken. And the really 'funny' part of this is (and to me, this illustrates their lack of attention to detail perfectly) is that B. just sat here with me for a bit, while I went from page to page on the internet and he never figured out 'hey, why is the internet working for Mom but not for us'? Never mentioned it. Doesn't get it. [And when he reads this at some point in the future, we apologize. But it's finals week and a little less time on My Space is good for your grades. So forgive us. The new modem will be here shortly and as soon as it's here, we'll install it and you'll be back up and running.]

I rescued two small plants from my office that people had tossed in the trash. They are still 'alive' though they need re-potting and a steady supply of water and food. I just planted them in two patio pots with other 'stuff'. Just found room and stuck them in. If they survive, great. If they don't, that's OK too. But I hope they will make it. They were both still completely 'green' - just dead blossoms. The pitiful pots they were in didn't allow for any water to be absorbed - so just getting them into real dirt is half the battle.

My last CBO class is Friday morning and I'm taking part of the afternoon 'off' to go see the Sex and the City movie. Can't wait! I love that show and have really been looking forward to a bucket of popcorn, some Milk Duds and Carrie Bradshaw and her friends. Since I'm working both days of the weekend, I could use a little R&R.

That's it for now. Need to get moving a bit with my 'evening routine' (such as it is) and then head up to bed. Need to be in as early as humanly possible tomorrow - aiming for 5. Will be happy with 5:30 or 6. Have meetings throughout the day and have a gazillion things to do to prepare for them - plus the never ending to-do list.

On a good note, I have the weeks of June 23rd and June 30th blocked off as vacation. I'm determined those dates will 'stick' and I'll just be home for some R&R. Maybe go to Jackson for a day. Might head to Monterey or Santa Cruz for a couple days with (or without) kids - haven't decided on that. It will be great to just sleep in and veg for a bit - spend some time in the pool, take the kids to the big mall in Modesto, etc. for a change of pace. Meet some friends for lunch (hint, hint).

To my friend J., thanks for listening. I miss you more than words can say but it's so great how I can reach you by phone and you listen and advise and laugh. I needed it. Thanks loads.

To my friend Bug, you'll do great. I know you will. It'll be terrific. Be yourself. And double check your work on the 'exercise'. But it's all going to be fine. I know it.

To my hubby, hang in their, babe. We're on the downhill side to retirement and while it seems like it will be forever, we know from the two boys that have grown up seemingly overnight that it will all go by very quickly. So we just have to hang in there....day by day. Sometimes hour by hour. It'll all be worth it someday when we're spending 3 weeks at the Louvre.

And, finally, to Steven Curtis Chapman and his family - you have been constantly in my prayers all week. There are no words for how deeply sorry I am about Maria. No words. Just know that you are in the thoughts of hundreds of thousands of KLOVE listeners and we all know (and we know you know) that if God brings you to it, He will get you through it. It doesn't change that she is not on this earth anymore - but knowing you are not alone in your grief will hopefully be some comfort.