Hilary

The somewhat feminist in me - you know, the person who thinks that men and women are created equal and therefore, can hold the same jobs and therefore should have both men and women in the job of POTUS wants to be able to whole-heartedly root for and cheer for the lady who is running for our leader this year. Sadly, though, I just can't. And what bothers me more than anything about that - more than realizing that this is history in the making and wouldn't it be great if - what bothers me the MOST is that I can't tell you why. I don't 'hear' anything she says with my heart. She's just not 'warm and fuzzy'. Nor 'endearing' or 'charming'. I don't know what we need in female president - since it is a first even in just getting this far - but she's not it. I don't like her. And I can't vote for someone I don't like.

I'm not crazy about Obama either but I guess he's going to have to grow on me because he is it for me in terms of sticking with my party lines. And I do truly believe that it's time for a Democrat in office. We need help. The country is struggling with huge issues that our present leadership tends to ignore.

Our current president pisses me off on a regular basis. He gets my blood boiling in a way I can't describe and frequently has me referencing thoughts of 'moving to Canada' or New Zealand or somewhere that isn't here. I don't have those strong feelings toward Hilary - and maybe that's it. There are NO STRONG feelings towards her, or about her, or because of her whatsoever. I've got nothing. Nada. Zip. She doesn't create any feelings in me at all - and that's just not someone I can vote for. She isn't a leader, to me. I hear her say what she says but I don't think she's bringing anything to the office that I can get behind.

It's hard to describe. And it surprises me that we're down to two candidates and here I am, not voting for the first woman in history to be running for President. I wish I could. I hope I can end up voting for the only Democrat left that I can support. If I can. And I'm not sure about that, either.

The thing is: I'm looking for hope. And for change. And to convince me those things are out there takes a 'special' person. And there just aren't any special people running. They're just average politicians trying to do what they do...and they aren't inciting passionate feelings on either side of the party lines. It's kind of a really dissappointing time for me, related to our country's 'status'.

We need leadership. I'm not sure we'll have it much better in the next 4-8 years. I do know and am 1000% positive that we couldn't possibly be any worse off than we are now. George W.'s last day in office will be one of my most fondly remembered political moments in my entire life.

I have to send in my absentee ballot soon so I'm glad it's down to just two. Though I'm disappointed because both J. and I were for Edwards....and now he's out. And my feelings about voting for him are no stronger than the others...again, 'cuz none of them are instilling in me feelings of hope and leadership. And that's what I need. It's what a lot of us need.