Pies and Wrapping and Sirens, Oh My

The house is filled with the sounds of merriment.  Sirens blaring as B. plays Grand Theft Auto 5.  He is polite enough that he came in the study and said 'I'll close the doors for you, Mom'.  It doesn't help much to din the noise but it's the thought that counts.

We had H.'s followup appointment yesterday and the news is good.  At least we think it's good.  I have to say that there is a growing lack of confidence on our part though we know our oncologist is awesome.  It's just the scans come and go and it never seems like they are doing any comparisons to prior scans.  At least we never see the two scans (old vs. new) side by side.  It's all on discs and computer and they hand us the disc as we leave - but we're not radiologists so it's all foreign to us.  I can see the (still there) swelling that is mentioned.  It is in the tissue in his neck which is where the area is that was radiated the most.  Though his windpipe is moved back pretty much to where it belongs - still a teeny bit off of center but compared to where it was in April, it's a great improvement.

H.'s hemoglobin levels have increased each lab (they are three months apart) and the doctor asked him if he's been smoking.  He has.  He denies it.  But blood work doesn't lie.  I went to Jackson for the afternoon after the appointment which gave me time to get my reaction semi-tamped down.  Oh, I still reamed him - but I also tried hard to just talk it through with him.  How the doctor is assuming the change from lab set to the next is because he is smoking.  But what if it's caused by other things (it can be sign of still existing or new cancer(s); lung or heart issues).  The doctor will assume the explanation is smoking - 'cuz H. is smoking some these days, apparently.  So it's all messing with his blood labs at a time when the doctor noticing slight changes in things is imperatively important.

He says he gets it - but he's young.  I'm old and crotchety and tired of constantly worrying about things that he needs to take responsibility for on his own.  We won't be around on this earth forever and the 'cancer factor' is a part of his life forever - and he has to 'get that' and embrace it and do things differently to ensure his body's signals that things aren't right will be noticed and acted on.

Jackson was a nice day and the slots were looser.  I lost but didn't lose all I had to lose - and I played on free play for quite awhile.  I have enough left to go back for a day next week which I will enjoy.  It's my down time.  I enjoy it.  It's a Christmas gift to myself.

Today, I'm going to attempt to bake cream pies.  I've never made homemade cream pies and I've been doing a lot of reading and words like 'turned into soup' don't do much to help my confidence.  I know I could 'cheat' and use pudding mixes to make the custard - but I want to do them from scratch.  I like to learn new things and I think I can do it.  Fingers crossed.  (I have pudding mixes here as a last resort - and extra pie crusts, too - so if it all turns out badly, I can whip up reasonable facsimiles pretty easily.  I just hope I won't need my backup plan).

We have a ton of wrapping and other stuff to keep us busy as the day progresses.  Trying to get closets culled a bit - B. spent a few minutes grabbing stuff out of his room to donate. We have a variety of charity pickups happening over the next couple weeks and we're trying to take advantage of the easiness of having them come to us to pick things up.

I still have one gift that's not here yet and I sure hope it will arrive today.  Fingers crossed.  It's for B. and I want it under the tree tonight.

The boys are ambivalent about going to church this evening - as is their mother.  I'm aiming to just be home.  I feel tired down to my bones - I could sleep all day, I think.  I just want to veg and chillax with my family until it's time to get stuff under the tree and head up to bed.

I'm not sure tomorrow's 'take' will be as robust as the boys are used to but oh well.  Our budget was impacted by a new water heater and other things and it is what it is.  I shopped carefully and I'm sure it will still be fun.

Merry Christmas Eve Day to all - and to all, a good nap!