Freefall

Throwing caution to the wind as I watch our economy unravel before my very eyes - and heading to Subway to pick up sandwiches for dinner. Our entire financial future is hanging on by a prayer - so what's another $20 down the drain for food? It's hot. I don't feel like cooking. I have a lot on my mind...like the state of our retirement plans; a possible new job that I'm likely applying for; etc. Added to all that is a list a mile long of THINGS I MUST DO and sadly, I feel like doing absolutely NONE OF THEM. NONE. NEVER. But I must, therefore, I will. Argh. So Subway it is. Makes the kids happy - at least for a moment, anyway.

Son #1 has been sick in bed all day. He has absolutely no fever - but his throat hurts, his head aches and his stomach is 'a mess'. I have no idea what to make of it. I don't doubt he feels crummy - he doesn't sleep all day, ever. But he is working out like a maniac, watching what he eats very carefully. I want to lecture him on the basics: eat enough to sustain your energy level and eat healthily. Get enough sleep. Etc. But he won't listen to me anyway so I save it. He'll have to learn the hard way that working out a lot combined with changing your eating habits significantly will throw your body into a tailspin of major proportion. He missed work 'cuz if he's too sick to go to school, then he's going to have to give up the $$ he loses by missing work. Oh well.

Son #2 is attempting to clean his room - which when I last checked, involved tossing all the stuff that's on his floor into his closet and closing the doors. No, I'm not kidding. He said 'I'll get it later'. I said 'why have to do it all TWICE? If it's dirty laundry, bring it downstairs NOW and sort it into the laundry hampers and you're done. Now, you'll have to do that - and do it NOW.

Fun times.

I don't know what to make of the bail out bill not passing. Part of me wants to applaud that someone out there is thinking 'hey, is this a wise idea'? And there must be a reason it didn't pass. They must realize it's a bad thing....so they stopped it. Way to go, government! The other part of me wants to scream 'hello - this is now a WORLD ECONOMIC CRISIS, you morons! Are you trying to crumble the entire world economy as we know it 'cuz if you are, you're doing a mighty fine job of it....if you're not, then figure out a way to SAY YES'. I can't believe the DOW is down over seven hundred points. Wow - that's a jolt. J. text-ed me in my budget workshop to say 'it's only down 500 something now - it was down 700 at one point'. And by the time I got to my car and headed home, it was officially down over 700. For the day.

I honestly think it's representative of where the legislature is at: if the President thinks it's a good idea and insists it's the right thing to do, it's probably the wrong thing to do. And for that, I DO wholeheartedly applaud them. It's about time! So I wait to see what they work out - I know they will work something out. They have to. There's truly no other option, as we all witnessed in today's tumble.

I know we're not alone in this. I know it's freaking out scary time right now for many Americans. I feel a sense of 'we have to DO something' - but I have no idea what that something is. Do we move everything we have in the stock market out as soon as possible? That's what everyone appears to be doing - hence the free fall - so is that the safest thing to do? And if this were 10 or 20 years ago, I wouldn't think twice about any of it - but it's not. My hubby is due to retire in less than a decade. Will that still happen? Will I end up working into my 80's because of this free fall? That's how it feels.

And then, I beat myself up because I am blessed. I have a roof over my head (a generously sized, good quality beautiful roof that I can still afford to make the payment on every month), food in the fridge, $20 to go to Subway and still have money in the bank. Still have good jobs. With good health insurance. Still have savings. So it could be worse and I know for many Americans - out of work and struggling - it is worse. Far worse. So I stop worrying so much and figure it will be what it will be. Maybe we won't retire when we thought we would. Maybe we will retire but move somewhere far less expensive to live. The market will bounce back. It always does. And we are buying low. Really low. So that's a 'good thing'.

Is it wrong to add 'our country's economy' to my list of nightly prayers? And I pray for change. Change in leadership. In every facet of my life - I pray for leadership.