Surprise

I'm attending a 50th birthday surprise party this afternoon for a coworker. I'm looking forward to it, pretty much - except for the 'fear' that I'll somehow ruin the surprise. That I'll pull up into the driveway too early or too late, somehow being 'seen'. That she'll recognize my car (though I plan to drive a car I never drive to work in the hopes that detail will throw her off). It's a 50's theme - and I'm not wearing a poodle skirt nor a pony tail. Well, I may put my hair into a ponytail but probably not. And I'm just wearing 'regular' clothes. No dress up. It will be fun. She's been a good friend to me since I've worked there and she's a hoot, so I'm sure her family and non-work friends are also. Interesting to see who (if anyone) else from work will be there since not a word has been uttered. Which is amazing since the place is usually buzzing about a variety of topics.

We received the annual statement for our car insurance yesterday - with B. added. OH MY GOSH. I was stunned at the number. Even though I'd done the math - seeing it in writing, and especially broken out by driver - to see that he is costing us more than THREE TIMES what it costs to insure me and J. COMBINED - it's incredible. Absolutely mind boggling. I gave him a 'gentle but firm' reminder to quickly take the DVD course they sent him 'cuz completion of that and entering a code on the website will save us 20% . And then to bring his GPA up to a 3.0 saves another 10%. And cautioned him that one accident will most likely result in him not driving since we can't afford more than this. No way. I don't know how we'll handle it when H. starts driving in two years. And then I reminded J. that he can call and take a course for 'mature' drivers (over 50 is mature for CSAA apparently) and that will save us another undefined percentage. We will do it - and I will take it when I turn the big 5-0 also, since every bit of savings helps. Criminy. Hope they get jobs soon to help with some of these expenses.

I think that's starting to be a stark realization in our lives - at this time in our earning history, when we are both making very good $$, and we should be saving hand over fist, we are instead raising two teens. WE ARE saving hand over fist - socking $$ away in J.'s retirement accounts like crazy. But we aren't at the time in our lives when there's 'extra' - more coming in than is going out. And we won't be there, it seems, until J. is about to retire - and then that income is gone and the opportunity to sock away additional dollars is gone. Forever. Scary. And for years - at this point, we're not sure how many years - but for years, I and I alone will be the income generator in the family. And I just hope that we don't end up feeling like we can never do without my income. I mean, as the boys leave the nest and get settled on their own - and start covering their own insurance, food, clothing, entertainment, etc. expenses - our expenses will dramatically decrease. But that decrease will happen at the same time as the decrease of J.'s income happens. So I just hope we don't feel compelled for me to work FOREVER to keep income flowing in. I know I will feel like I should, but hopefully, I'll know I won't need to. On the other hand, hopefully, I'll be loving what I'm doing so much that I won't want to quit until I'm in my 70's. And J. and I will be able to take many 'spur of the moment' trips all over the world, without kids or pets to tie us down. Oh, to dream.