Excitement

B. called me at work today. My cell phone rang - unknown number - I pushed 'ignore' because I was talking to someone on my office phone. My cell phone rang again 10 seconds later. I ignored again. Then my 2nd office line started ringing. I was still on the other line and furiously taking notes on how to load positions into budget development. 2nd line rang again and then stopped. I worried slightly - maybe something was really wrong. But probably not. They know to call 911 in an actual emergency. And they can get a hold of J. when they need to.

As soon as I'd finished my call, I called the house - B. answered and said (in quite possibly, actually undoubtedly most excited tone I've heard from him in months) 'I have the most exciting news you've heard in a long time'. I thought 'YEAH!, we won the lottery' - and then realized he wouldn't know that 'cuz he doesn't know what our numbers are. And J. most certainly would tell ME before he'd tell the kids - so that was out. He said 'I'm getting my license a week from Friday'.

I'm glad he's confident and resisted the urge to say 'if you pass'. Because we NEED him to get his license. Summer school starts Monday and we will have to take him there and back daily - there's no bus during the summer. So his being able to drive himself to and from is a BIG DEAL. I work in town now, so I can 'schlep' him to and from - but I'd rather not. It means I have to leave work around 1ish daily to get him by 1:30 then drive him home, then back to work.

We have been bugging him to call and set up the DMV test then call the driving school to set up his last behind the wheel lesson. I don't know why he's dragging his feet - oh wait a minute, yes I do. Because he's 16 1/2 and has no 'hutspa' lately. No get up and go. No drive. Nothing. He's got nothing. He doesn't want to listen to us, act on our suggestions, nothing. YET, he insists he is an 'adult' and should be treated as such. Yeah, right. It's the most frustrating, most anger-creating approach I've ever encountered. AND add to that - he is right. WE are wrong. We have politely and patiently reminded him for WEEKS to get those phone calls made and get it set up. He says 'I'll get to it'. And then doesn't. And if we remind him repeatedly, we are nagging him. Interfering.

I know this is teenage angst vs. parenting. I did the same thing to my mom - and my grand kids will do the same thing to B. and H. I know it. But I've never lived it from this side of the equation. From the parent side. It sucks. It's like living in the house with total strangers. And there's now TWO of them - H. is getting to be just the same way. Overnight. No warning.

My friend P. said her son J. returned from his first year of college a much more mature young man. I hope we end up feeling that way in a few years. At the moment, I don't see him ever being able to take care of himself. I sure hope we aren't going to be those parents that have adult children sponging off them forever. I want to help them get a good start in life and then let them go. Which is hard to do - but come on. I can't 'raise' them forever. At some point, they have to on their merry way and move on.

Some days, lately, I can't wait to have them both out of the house. And then they'll return to their sweet selves and I'll want them to never leave. Sons leave - they don't stay close like daughters. I worry about that - my brother was never close to my mom and never made any effort to be close and I hope that's not how my relationship with my sons ends up.