Endings

I have been a member of a women's organization since my college days. I have never been an 'active' member. I was active in the chapter I originally joined but then I moved to Northern California and never re-established the same 'kinship' with the new Chapter here. Add to that moving 40+ miles east from there and never considering joining a more local chapter....I've been happy to be uninvolved. Too many commitments on my time as it is much less adding meetings and events to the calendar. Tried that with the Lions group I joined and that was a fun time - but I was never more glad than the day I stepped off that treadmill.

My 'home' chapter (that I joined when I moved to Hayward in 1984) is dissolving. The membership has been on the decline for decades. They have tried to merge with other chapters but the other chapters don't want to do that. Not the sisterly thing to do - but I understand adding a group of total strangers to your tight-knit 'family' might be a challenge. Can't blame them for that.

I wrote the annual check for my dues - and then it got buried on the desk that we culled off today. Since I wrote that check, I received a letter outlining the options members have. I have already been contacted by my local chapter and while the lady on the other end of the phone did her best to persuade me to come to a meeting, I politely declined. They hold evening meetings and I have enough evening commitments for work as it is, thank you very much. Something my 25-year-old self was never able to say - a polite 'no, thank you - I am very busy with work commitments - many of which are in the evenings - so I don't think I would be able to attend meetings regularly'. So I dodged that bullet and stayed 'un-attached'.

One of the options outlined in the letter is to return my pin to my 'home' chapter and request 'inactive status'. And after careful consideration, that is what I am going to do. I have voided the dues check and written a letter to enclose with the pin - confirming that I have decided to become an inactive member.

I can hear my mom and my grandmother and possibly my aunt (who is still alive, blessedly) 'tsk-tsking' under their breath....maybe my member sister, also. But the truth is - it's just never been my thing. I enjoyed the first few months of the group I originally joined with - but then I moved and the 'connection' was never even remotely close to the same. The group is full of rituals and rules and things you dare-not-do and things you should-always-do....and I never understood/got much of that. It just always felt like other people had the playbook - and I never knew there was a playbook most of the time, much less had any idea what the dos and don'ts were....

It isn't hard for me to step off the platform of a group I never connected with. There are members who hope to find chapters to join and they can't do that as long as they are 'tied' to a dying chapter. So I wish them all well. I really do -

And now I can skip the entire 'instructions' of the procedures in place for when a member dies 'cuz there are a bunch of rules about what happens to your pin when you die. I don't know all those rules - though I know they exist and followed them to the letter when my mother died....at least the ones I knew. My kids can just skip all that - the pin will be properly handled before my death. Eliminating one more list on my sons' 'your mom died' to-do list.

It's been a lovely, quiet day. The boys were beyond thrilled with their Easter surprises. J. helped me tidy up my desk and we worked in the garden for a bit - planted lettuce, squash, bell peppers, some dill and basil and lots of pansies. It's looking a lot like Spring and to prove it, two gorgeous butterflies flitted around the yard for a bit, enjoying the flowers and the sunshine.