To the Right

I wrote a letter recently to a long-time family friend - my third grade teacher who we have been friends with forever - I think she taught my older siblings, too, though I'm not positive about that. Anyway, I wrote a letter and in that letter, I inquired about any properties available in the beach front development my family had a cabin in for years. I have written about it in this blog...how thinking about it makes my heart hurt; how I regret so much not having found a way to purchase the cabin from my mom. We just couldn't swing it back then - and I think it was for the best given that would have only been yet another bone of contention between some family members and me. But when I think about 'the beach', I think about that place - and wish I could get back there.

I haven't mailed the letter - because all the next day, I kept thinking about the 'what if's' that would imply. Suppose there is a property available and suppose we did buy it? The development is unique because it was the first on this 18 mile stretch of white sand beach - and the homeowners prohibit renting out units - so there would be no rental income to offset expenses. And there would be expenses. Monthly fees; maintenance; upkeep; care-taking. And as J. has often said 'if we own a place, we will feel obligated to go there for every vacation - obligated to try to make the expenses 'worth it' by going there as often as we can'. And that's the final 'no' - because as beautiful as this place is, it is about 17 hours away from us by car. Do-able? Sure. But thinking about a two week vacation with two travel days on either end just isn't all that appealing. We could fly to Phoenix and then drive the five hours south - but that still involves renting a car and rental companies don't really 'allow' you to take the car into a different country without all kinds of paperwork and more money. So truthfully, how often would we go?

And while I can't rent out the place for profit, I can let others use it - and would be glad to - but that adds additional complexity - scheduling and timing and negotiating the turbulent waters of my familial relationships.

So the letter stays unmailed. I plan to update it to make it even more newsy and mention the cabin and mention that I'd be curious to know if a place is ever available - but I'm deleting all the sort of heart-felt wishing and just sticking with the facts. Because if she called me next Friday and said someone wants to sell now and here's the price, I'm not honestly sure I'd be ready to do it. I'd want to - with every ounce of my being - but I'm not sure we would.

Apparently owning a second property is on my mind, because last night I dreamed that we had a chance to get a beach front lot on Lake Tahoe in a brand new, recently discovered 'cove' for the rock bottom price of $110,700. In the dream, when they told me the price of the lot, I almost couldn't believe it. You could buy the lot now and move in a mobile home or just pitch a tent for as long as you wanted until you could afford or decided to build. Very not 'Tahoe' - but hey, this was a dream!

There was only one down side. The development was started by a group of acquaintances - people I know through work or social things here in Tracy - and they were all seriously far, far 'to the right' politically. OK - I described them to J. as 'right wing nut jobs'...but as I was getting the checkbook out, I thought (again, this is a dream) 'I'm sure I can get J. to just keep his mouth shut for three days every weekend - he will just have to hunker down with his blogs and his books and agree to NOT make it known that we are so not to the right, we would be considered aliens to these folks'. Seemed completely plausible in a dream....

It was a little slice of paradise - and while a lake beach is not really my idea of a beach, I think all I'm really craving is a place to escape to....just a little secluded get away that gives us a reason to pack up on Fridays and skip town for a few days. Hunker down with books, videos, walks, cooking, sleeping, etc. Some forced down time.

My sister and her hubby own a motor home that is parked on their property - and they frequently spend nights out there - just outside their house. Watching movies. Checking out from their 'life' and heading to their escape pod. I think that sounds lovely, too, only we don't have a place to park a motor home outside our house - we'd have to store it at the storage facility a mile away - and somehow, spending the night at a storage facility sort of loses the charm.

A friend of mine owns a few acres and their house and yard are on only one acre of their property - and we joke that if we win the lottery (we buy tickets every week - just the two of us - makes our boss crazy because if we happen to win and both leave at the same time, he is screwed - but oh well - it's a 'dream' and not likely reality), I would buy a couple (two or three) rail cars and have them craned onto slabs and have someone 'design' a weekend retreat for me. We could be 'in the country' and 'away' in about 10 minutes - and I love her house because it's truly isolated. So quiet. Serene. Orchards all around - but no traffic. Few neighbors. I would love to hang out there each weekend and recharge.

She and I read Sunset magazine and get so many ideas of 'tiny spaces' you could make happen fairly easily.

I'm taking all these ideas and dreams as a sign that I need to find a way to better decompress. Being in this house with animals and adult children and 'stuff to do' everywhere is just not cutting it. Apparently.

Second day of a three day weekend is beginning. It's almost 11 and we're all still in our PJs. I'm going to cook a lot today! I love to cook when I have the time to do it- and I can enjoy the Breaking Dawn Part 1 movie!! Happy Sunday made even happier!