Only on Weekends

I'm becoming a blogger who only posts on weekends - which implies that there is no 'life' happening here between M-F. Sort-of-kind-of true given that the stuff happening during the week is work related...there are shitloads of crap happening M-F but as they most decidedly ARE work related and I dare not write about them, that leaves slim pickings during the week. I come home each evening tamping down all the 'stuff' that simmers through my day and attempt to regroup enough to have some semblance of decent sleep. Sleep being my one 'must have' thing in life. Well, sleep and coffee. And Starbucks. And possibly Castleville. OK - I am apparently more high-need than I like to admit.

The other stuff happening M-F that relates to the two young adult males living here is just the usual run-of-the-mill stuff. At a work lunch yesterday, one of my co-workers shared that she can't ever imagine not wanting to spend every waking minute with her children. She has two adorable blond boys - ages 3 and just turned 1 - and she is pained to be apart from them every day while she's at work. She simply wants to 'immerse' herself in them 24/7 and can't imagine ever feeling any other way. Just not possible, she said. And all the parents of teens piped up and said 'oh, just give it about 10-13 years and see where you're at with that'. She said 'I will miss them so much' and I said 'I want to miss mine. I'm looking forward to missing them. Let the missing them begin ASAP'. She can't relate - yet. But someday, she will. The great circle of life and all that. It isn't about loving them - I adore and love my kids with every ounce of my being. But my rational self doesn't actually like one of them too much these days - and the other one is a joy most of the time....but he's far from self supporting. They both are....and that pains me. Both in my wallet and in my heart. Boys....they just take a long time to mature.

There are so many things happening at work that when my boss and I go to lunch, we have taken to making a list of the things we are going to fret about and the things we aren't. The state's budget crisis is making our district budget a nightmare and it's been hard for me to cope with. Not that the last five years have been any kind of cake walk on the budget front - the economic crisis started shortly after I started my job in 2007 - but we are at a very different place after weathering five years of drastically reduced revenue. It stresses me out a fair amount....so it helps to prioritize what to focus the stress on, actually - instead of just stressing about every little thing. It will all resolve - one way or another - and while it's certainly hard for us now, I take sad comfort in realizing that as hard as it is for us, there are other districts in our county and state that are far more perilously on the brink than we have ever been - or hopefully ever will be. It's just sad times for education - and remember that the people who will suffer the most are kids. We continue to focus every effort on preserving what we have for the students we serve - but boy, howdy - that's getting really, really challenging. Scary times in our state.

It's a beautiful, sunny Saturday. H. is upstairs cleaning! His room is spotless and he's now vacuuming the upstairs. Next he will come downstairs and scrub the tile grout with bleach. He's earning money to go with friends to Bass Pro Shop and maybe the movies. I don't know what there is to do at Bass Pro Shop but apparently, it's a happening place 'cuz B. frequently goes there with his friends, too. B. is in Marysville visiting a friend and is expected home today sometime. Never know his schedule. Oh well.

I am heading out to run errands soon. And plan to do some gardening. Our bulbs are already up six inches or so - it's so warm these days. Spring appears to be early....