Alone.....In the Happiest Place on Earth

The conference is excellent....which is good because if you're in workshops from 7 or 8AM until 5PM each day, you sure don't want time to drag. The topics are current and relevant and the speakers are top notch. It was a great day - and topped off by so many wonderful moments....

After the last workshop, I headed back to my room. Changed into my walking shoes and threw on the warmest thing I brought - the Pooh jacket I bought when we were here in November. The weather turned strangely cold - with wind. It was really, bitterly cold...

Made my way down Main Street for what I had been looking forward to for dinner all day - a smoked turkey leg! Delicious! Savored every mouthful. People watched for a bit.

All these years of trekking to the park with two boys - once little and now not - I've dreamed of this time - just me, in the park(s). No schedule. Nowhere to be. Nothing to do but whatever I want. When I want.

But the truth is, it's a bit strange being here totally alone - and while it's fun, it just doesn't feel right. It feels off - to be surrounded by so many families and feel so alone.

I'm still enjoying it - but it's just not the same.

I decided to ride the train from Main Street to New Orleans Square - and then thought I'd walk to the Pooh Shop. It started to rain between Main Street and the Square - so I stayed on the train instead of getting off.

Sitting next to me was a beautiful family - with a sweet little boy. He spoke Spanish. He babbled happily the entire ride. When we approached Tomorrow Land, his mom struck up a conversation with me and I reciprocated. It was his first time in the park. As we went through the tunnel, he covered himself with his sweatshirt - he was afraid of the dark. But then he saw the Grand Canyon...followed by the dinosaurs....and he loved it. His face was all lit up - from the inside out - and as we exited the tunnels, he kept saying 'otra' (another) and 'mas' (more).

His mom spoke English with a beautiful accent - from Spain, possibly. I told her that it was fun for me to watch a little boy on his first visit to Disneyland. Told her my boys were all grown up - but still love the park. And that I was here without them - or their dad - and it was strange being alone. It was a nice visit. We all bundled up as the rain came down harder. Said our goodbyes at Main Street and they managed to distract their son as he pleaded to stay on the train 'mas'. Good parents who know that distraction is the best approach with a little one - they are easily moved from one thing to another vs. trying to 'argue' with them about why it's a 'no'. (I point this out in stark contrast to the parents I saw yesterday who let their 4 year old daughter hit them repeatedly (with a closed fist, by the way) and responded to her hitting by threatening to....wait for it....hit her. Spank her. In public. I was dying to ask her 'what is upsetting you so much that you are hitting? Why are you so upset'? Who knows what answer would have come out of her - but initiating a conversation with her had to be hugely better than threatening to do the exact same thing to her that you are totally pissed off she is doing to you. The entire bus breathed a sigh of relief when the got off the bus. She was probably just a really tired, overwhelmed 4 year old - which is pretty common at Disneyland. I've been there myself...so I should be more forgiving. But I didn't threaten my kids with pulling down their pants and spanking them on a public transit bus.)

As we pulled into Main Street, I turned around to look at the front entrance - and there was the most beautiful double rainbow. The second arc was faint, but the first arc was brilliant and huge. The entire arc was at the 'entrance' of the park - it was amazing. I said to the mom 'look - something special for his first train ride' - it was beautiful. (Sadly, I did not have phone for a picture - it needed charging - totally out of power, so I left it charging in the hotel room. So sad about it because it was the most beautiful rainbow - and a memory I would have loved to keep.) I have the memory - just not the picture. And that's fine 'cuz my phone is full of pictures that I can't figure out how to get off the phone and onto somewhere else. :-)

I ended the day by heading to the bakery - got the last chocolate croissant (for breakfast tomorrow) AND a bottle of chocolate milk. Because I miss my kids - and chocolate milk is their favorite drink.

I'm going to finish up a couple work things and then head to bed. I'm really tired - walking a lot. Thinking a lot.

More of the same tomorrow...and the next day...and the next. More turkey legs to look forward to!! And chicken pot pies!

Happy Birthday to our sweet puppy Chloe - she is six today. She's not a puppy, technically, anymore...but she doesn't know that. J. made her scrambled eggs to go with her kibble for her special day. He promised to give her hugs, kisses and a belly rub from me.

I miss them...all of them. It's not the same without them. Good thing I have plenty of work stuff to keep me busy.