Revision

I am not winging my way to SC for the weekend.....my reasons revolve around situations here at home that make staying 'grounded' the better option for me, at this point. I will keep specifics private - because even those who routinely write about their personal situations on blogs sometimes prefer to just leave some details unsaid. It was a hard decision - I really stressed myself out about 'what to do' and in the end, I know I made the best decision for me and my immediate family. I talked to the two people who were most affected by my decision (my travel buddy sister and my brother) and they completely understood my reasons for sticking close to home this weekend. I didn't feel compelled to 'make excuses' to the list of invitees who are also attending. A simple 'unable to make it' is all that will be offered - my plans changed. That's the best I can offer at this point -

I loved talking to my brother - reminded me of the great conversations we had when I was living there with them. He's is so incredibly sharp-witted and smart and has such diverse interests. I know this is a really hard time for him (and his two sons) but he summed it up best when he said 'we will find our new normal'. Some incredibly hard days still ahead - and he said he realizes that every time he thinks he just went through the last 'really hard thing' only to find another just around the corner. And that's so true in every one's experience of losing a loved one - new normal is constantly changing state of flux - and you just have to keep getting through a moment at time. He's doing OK - and I have promised to do a better job keeping in touch. He's on Facebook, so hopefully we can all 'draw him out' and catch him when he's online so we can IM each other now and then. If not, there's always the good old-fashioned phone. We did reconnect and I hope we will continue to do so - I know I intend to call far more often than I've ever called before. And hopefully, little by little, it will become easier to talk.

So I'm here at home - having decided that the two days I booked 'off' shall remain so - and facing four days (now three and half remaining) of time at home. H. wants to repaint his room a more 'adult' color (than the bright sea blue we painted it awhile back) and if the temps stay moderate this weekend, we will work on that project.

J. and B. are going to the Eagles concert tomorrow night - B.'s birthday gift to J. - and then J. is leaving on Sunday morning around 3AM for the airport to wing his way to Minnesota for two days and then to North Carolina for two days before returning home Thursday. Just me and the boys next week - making our typical busy week even busier.