J. dropped off a lovely bouquet of flowers to my office yesterday morning - sadly, I was at the school site nearest our home when he came by so I missed seeing him. My staff thought it was so sweet he did that....and little did he know, I had arranged for a bouquet to be delivered to him here at home - so we both thought the same thoughts about how to celebrate V-Day.
We also went out to dinner last night - so-so sushi at this place every one's raving about. It was OK but not excellent and I don't know that I would choose that over the place we usually go to that's clear across town. It was a nice evening and I was in bed and asleep early 'cuz I was absolutely exhausted. Arriving at my desk by 6:30AM every day this week combined with not one; not two; but THREE night time commitments was absolutely draining and I was pooped. We taped the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics so I can watch it today.
Sadly, this Saturday has started out with uncovering more deceit on the part of our youngest son...gobsmacked is the only appropriate word for my demeanor at this moment. I am beyond knowing what to do with him - he lies like some people breathe. When did he decide that lying was the best answer to most questions these days? It breaks my heart. And the worst part is: it doesn't seem to phase his heart much at all. Same shit; different day.
I've had the 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' feeling about him for months - constant, never-ending stress that never abates - and there's always another frickin' shoe out there somewhere.
J. just left to: take Chloe to the groomer; fill up my car with gas; and stop by the Ford dealership and see if they can make two new keys for my car. I lost one a couple weeks ago - current theory is that it was 'picked up' by the wait staff at a Lions meeting and tossed in the trash - and I've been worried that I'll misplace the other one which would render the car not drivable. Of course, they are 'computerized' keys that operate the alarm and start the car - so it will require $100 for each key 'blank' and an hour of 'time' at the dealer. Yikes. That was an expensive Lions dinner.
We may go out for dinner again tonight - though I am also considering driving to the great Chinese place and bringing home takeout. It's less expensive (the items are less for take out than they charge for dine-in) and we save on beverages and tip...so I might do that instead.
Please pray for H. I am. I know he has a good heart and a good head on his shoulders but he seems to have traded them in the past few months for less-than-stellar models. We'd like him to upgrade back to his former self as soon as humanly possible. I'm feeling way too old to deal with this kind of crap....and I know J. is, too.
Tales of Helpers
Our cleaning lady D. is here today - she wears earbuds and chats on the phone while she works. She is the third cleaning 'person(s)'...
3 comments:
Prayers in the works ...... you must believe that he has absorbed all the good you have surrounded him with and trust that at some point he will sort thru the rest. You are not the first to feel this pain of parenthood (trust me on that recall that I turned Sean in to the Police because he pulled a knife on Mike and they tore up the house ... which placed Sean on probation an in counseling for two years?) at any rate, eventually they 'hear' what you're saying and surprise you with their mature attitude toward life.
Hugs to you and J. ... love you both more than words!
K
Thanks, K. I know it will be OK. He knows what needs to change and he knows he's the only person able to make those changes happen. We've just seen him resolve to do these things over and over and over, only to slip back into the 'old' pattern(s. We're running out of options...
I never imagined we would be here - never in a million years could I have ever predicted we'd be dealing with the things we're dealing with.
Keep the prayers coming! Thanks!
You have my prayers as well. Take care!
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