Perfect Example

I wrote a bit yesterday about how the lack of communication between us and H. & R. is problematic and troublesome.  We'd reached out a few times since Christmas to each of them and no response.  Was heading down the hill in my psyche of feeling like my limit is reached....and I'd be done.  (I don't really know what 'done' would look like most of the time - he is our son, after all - but I feel done a lot lately, at least on the inside).

But it turns out that the reason they have not been communicating - besides the fact that H. now has a job and that keeps him pretty busy - is that R. has been very, very sick the past few days.  So sick that she spent last night in the hospital!  She came home today and is doing better - and will try to come over tomorrow if they can.  J. picked up H. on his way back from dropping off our last 2017 donations and he and B. were FINALLY able to go to the shooting range for some fun.  Then we drove the Mariner to Manteca - H. and I in the Rav and J. piloting the car for them. 

That small example of the highs and lows and all the in betweens is why writing isn't really 'easy' these days.  A lot of stuff could be spewed (by me) and then it turns out there's a somewhat logical reason for it all. 

They do want the Mariner and for now, we are letting them borrow it for a couple weeks.  Pending setting an appointment at DMV in January for us to go there and get the paperwork done to sell it to her with her as the registered owner and us holding a lien on the vehicle.  We're making them the deal of a lifetime in terms of rate - 0% interest for as long as they need to buy it - and an agreement that in the event they are able to get a different car before the loan is paid off, we will buy the car back from them for whatever is still owed and they can move on.  I told H. 'so in the event you don't want to keep it long enough to pay off the loan (because at $100 a month [for example], it will take awhile to pay it off), you will have essentially rented a car for $100 a month - which is way better than the $30+ a day you've been paying for a rental car, right?'.  I just wanted to acknowledge that yes, it will be a long loan term and maybe you won't want/need that car for that long.  But you'll at least have reliable transport for as long as it runs.  (It's in outstanding condition and has been impeccably maintained - so it will last another 100K miles, most likely).

They are also talking about selling some furniture R. inherited from her grandmother and they will be able to sell her current car - and hopefully use some of those funds to make a big dent in the Mariner loan, which will shorten the term considerably. 

I'm already feeling super tired this evening - I've been having stomach issues myself (though thankfully, I'm able to stay hydrated.)  I feel hungry but as soon as I eat, all hell breaks loose.  I'm in pain - not cramps, just pain - like something is inflamed.  I have been ingesting cows milk products over the break more than usual so....that's likely some of the cause. 

I'm so grateful to have another week off - really wonderful and it's been a nice, long break. 

B. leaves on Tuesday morning.  We had a nice breakfast at Perko's on Saturday morning and he confessed that he's thinking he's ready to take a vacation somewhere completely different.  He mentioned maybe a 'sky diving' vacation of some kind.  He's around the same age I was when I took my first 'all by myself and not just visiting family' vacation so it's time.  But we'll sure miss him and were super glad to have him home for Christmas. 

I am entering 2018 with a commitment to assuming the best of people.  Always.  Even when it's very, very hard to do so - it is always the right thing.  And that includes assuming the best of myself.  Fixing situations that need fixing and moving forward - no matter what.  Forward, after all, is the only way to go.