No Irwin

B. isn't coming to California for the training exercise.  His job classification makes him someone who doesn't go.  He told J. he's completely ambivalent about it - so at least he's not disappointed.  His unit is going so wondering what the guys left behind for six weeks get to do with themselves?

He also got promoted to a Specialist.  I'm not supposed to say anything yet 'cuz while he's been told by people who know, it appears his commander is waiting to 'surprise' him?  So he hasn't received his new insignia yet - but it's happening.  It's a raise and a little acknowledgement so that's nice.

He wasn't able to workout much last week when they were on their maneuvers so hoping this week, he will return to the gym and/or running and that will greatly improve his mood.  He's a wreck if he doesn't work out.  And he knows that about himself.

I overslept my alarm a full 45 minutes - woke up at 3 and then went back to sleep and dreamed weird dreams until I had to drag myself out of bed.

I am grumpy and sleepy - bad combo.

The cleaning ladies come today (thank you, God, for the means to pay people to clean this house 'cuz if they don't do it, no one else will).  Every morning, I awake to find what mess beckons.  I am seemingly the only person who ever wipes a counter around here.  A collection of soda cans, beverage bottles, etc. greet me pretty much every morning on the family room coffee table.  No amount of being pissy; or politely begging; or any other means I've tried ever gets H. to pick up his crap.  The floors are sticky with stuff.  It's one of those days I wish my house had sloped floors with a drain in the middle and hoses that come out of the wall to just hose it all down.  It would be so much easier.

J. moved my Nespresso machine to a cupboard rendering it completely inaccessible to me.  I'm not using it much - true.  But that doesn't mean I never want to use it and stashing it somewhere I can't see in a place I can't reach seems stupidly constraining.  There's a host of other things on the counter he could choose to remove but it's my coffee machine that has to go.  Grrr....  (and yes, we did speak about it but you said moving it to a cupboard was 'never going to happen'.  Yet you made it happen by putting it somewhere I will never be able to get it out at 4 in the morning to actually use it).

OK.  I'm going to snap out of it and get moving.

I have read so many perfect sentiments about Robin Williams in the past hours - so many amazing ways to put feelings into words.  I think I might share some tonight in this space 'cuz I want to remember them.  He was a brilliant, troubled, amazing genius of a man and we lost a light.

Suicide is never the answer.  There is always help.  Always.