Like many Americans today, I find myself thinking back to that morning ten years ago....
I was driving to work when the first plane hit - I heard on the radio that a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers....and my first reaction was like so many of us thought at the time: 'wow, how did a plane make so many errors to end up hitting a building in down town New York?' I called J. who was just waking up and said 'turn on the TV and watch the news - something's happening in New York'.
I got to work and watched the story unfold on the TV in the cafeteria - working in the corporate world had it's perks and we had a full service cafeteria in our complex. We all stood stunned by the TV - realizing this wasn't just an accident. It was planned. Carefully planned.
The company I worked for at the time - not a company that ever had much heart - did the right thing and let us all go home. J.'s company had let them not come in - which was good because there was fear and speculation that some west coast targets might also be at risk - and J. works in a San Francisco high rise and takes an underground/underwater train to work and I didn't want him anywhere near either of those places.
So I drove home and J. and I watched on TV. And I said out loud 'can they fall down? Shouldn't people be staying away because they could fall completely'? And almost just as I said that, the first tower did fall. And then the second.
We debated about getting the kids out of school - but we didn't. They were only eight and ten at that time and I wasn't sure it was good for them to watch it all on TV. I don't know (still) if that was the right thing to do - but we let them stay at school. We picked them up after school and we talked about what had happened. And we tried to minimize the 'attacked' perspective - because it was still too shocking to wrap our adult heads around - and seemed unfathomable to try to get young children to comprehend the magnitude of just how much our world had changed on that day. There would be plenty of time to 'get that' as our nation moved forward - and all the decisions made to 'fight terrorism' led to wars, etc. .
What a horrific day that was....and I have those feelings as just a bystander, watching it happen on TV. Not as someone who lost someone....so I can't really fathom how it is for the families affected. Does an entire country praying for them really help? I don't know - but praying was all there was to do.
I've watched some of the shows on this week - the kids that are now ten years old who never knew one of their parents. The survivors reflecting back on what happened that day and how they made it through. The stories of the heroes who didn't make it out alive but their actions saved hundreds of others. So many selfless people making decisions that helped others and gave their lives so others would live. It's still just gut-wrenching....ten years later. Will it always be this way? I sort of hope so. So many of the shows have people saying 'I don't want us to ever forget'...and I don't want us to forget, either.
But then I saw a young girl - now a teen - sharing how what she dreads most about the anniversary - every year but especially in years like this year when it's a 'big' anniversary - ten years, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five - is all the attention. She doesn't dread the massive grief and sadness she knows comes around this day every year. She dreads the attention - the interviews and the inevitable questioning of how she and her family are doing. And for her - and her family - and thousands of other families, that invasion of privacy will always be a part of the anniversary.
So we don't want to forget. And we will never forget. But I hope we are able to let these families move on. It's hard enough having lost your father or mother in such a tragic event - with all America watching. And it's expected that you will have grief and pain and overwhelming sadness throughout your life because of what happened. But I'm not sure expecting them to share it with us as each anniversary passes is the right thing to do - not that there's ever any 'right thing' or 'wrong thing' to do in these situations....but it's sort of changed my perspective. As much as I care about them and want to know how they are doing, I more than anything want them to be able to move forward in their own way - privately.
Never forget......
I was driving to work when the first plane hit - I heard on the radio that a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers....and my first reaction was like so many of us thought at the time: 'wow, how did a plane make so many errors to end up hitting a building in down town New York?' I called J. who was just waking up and said 'turn on the TV and watch the news - something's happening in New York'.
I got to work and watched the story unfold on the TV in the cafeteria - working in the corporate world had it's perks and we had a full service cafeteria in our complex. We all stood stunned by the TV - realizing this wasn't just an accident. It was planned. Carefully planned.
The company I worked for at the time - not a company that ever had much heart - did the right thing and let us all go home. J.'s company had let them not come in - which was good because there was fear and speculation that some west coast targets might also be at risk - and J. works in a San Francisco high rise and takes an underground/underwater train to work and I didn't want him anywhere near either of those places.
So I drove home and J. and I watched on TV. And I said out loud 'can they fall down? Shouldn't people be staying away because they could fall completely'? And almost just as I said that, the first tower did fall. And then the second.
We debated about getting the kids out of school - but we didn't. They were only eight and ten at that time and I wasn't sure it was good for them to watch it all on TV. I don't know (still) if that was the right thing to do - but we let them stay at school. We picked them up after school and we talked about what had happened. And we tried to minimize the 'attacked' perspective - because it was still too shocking to wrap our adult heads around - and seemed unfathomable to try to get young children to comprehend the magnitude of just how much our world had changed on that day. There would be plenty of time to 'get that' as our nation moved forward - and all the decisions made to 'fight terrorism' led to wars, etc. .
What a horrific day that was....and I have those feelings as just a bystander, watching it happen on TV. Not as someone who lost someone....so I can't really fathom how it is for the families affected. Does an entire country praying for them really help? I don't know - but praying was all there was to do.
I've watched some of the shows on this week - the kids that are now ten years old who never knew one of their parents. The survivors reflecting back on what happened that day and how they made it through. The stories of the heroes who didn't make it out alive but their actions saved hundreds of others. So many selfless people making decisions that helped others and gave their lives so others would live. It's still just gut-wrenching....ten years later. Will it always be this way? I sort of hope so. So many of the shows have people saying 'I don't want us to ever forget'...and I don't want us to forget, either.
But then I saw a young girl - now a teen - sharing how what she dreads most about the anniversary - every year but especially in years like this year when it's a 'big' anniversary - ten years, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five - is all the attention. She doesn't dread the massive grief and sadness she knows comes around this day every year. She dreads the attention - the interviews and the inevitable questioning of how she and her family are doing. And for her - and her family - and thousands of other families, that invasion of privacy will always be a part of the anniversary.
So we don't want to forget. And we will never forget. But I hope we are able to let these families move on. It's hard enough having lost your father or mother in such a tragic event - with all America watching. And it's expected that you will have grief and pain and overwhelming sadness throughout your life because of what happened. But I'm not sure expecting them to share it with us as each anniversary passes is the right thing to do - not that there's ever any 'right thing' or 'wrong thing' to do in these situations....but it's sort of changed my perspective. As much as I care about them and want to know how they are doing, I more than anything want them to be able to move forward in their own way - privately.
Never forget......
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