Cleaning crew was here today and it feels so lovely to be sitting here enjoying a sparkly (from top to bottom) house! They did a really good job - three ladies. When I saw them wiping all the doors and door frames, I knew they were doing a great job.
I ventured to a hand surgeon this morning - got a steroid shot in my thumb. He used a freezing spray on the thumb first (where he planned to inject) and then did the shot which also had lidocaine in it. My thumb has been numb but it's coming back to feeling - and it hurts like the dickens at the moment but hopefully will feel much better tomorrow. I don't have any more movement yet - but that might take time. I'll do a follow-up visit in a few weeks. If the thumb is still stuck, he will do an easy in-office surgical procedure which will fix it for sure.
This week has felt 'busy' with a host of happenings - tomorrow, we're back to leisure time. Atlantis for free play (drastically reduced which pisses me off - little by little, Atlantis is losing us. Found out yesterday I went up another player level at the local Carson casino I play at weekly and I'm super happy about that). Back to Atlantis on Friday for a two night stay - and I'm sneaking in Friday night as a solo event which I'm super excited about. I haven't had a fun night in a casino in a long time and it feels like more of a 'treat' to be able to play long into the night. Of course, I can do that if/when J. is with me, too, of course....but my 'get away' trips have always been some 'me' time that I really need.
We're having a bevy of discussions about finalizing our estate plan - made even more complex as we navigate a son who is homeless and choosing to remain out of contact. When we finally finalize those documents, I plan another overnight stay at Atlantis and will feel 'at ease' about things for the first time in a very long time.
I get pretty emotional at times - usually as I'm saying my pre-sleep affirmations and prayers. Reflecting back on the last call from H.. I remind myself I wouldn't have done anything different even if I'd known what we found out shortly after that call. But it was faster than I wish it had been for a 'last call in a long time'.
I say that while also feeling strongly that it's probably best we aren't in touch. We can't 'support' the decisions he's made that led to his status. Can't fathom or accept as OK the 9+ months of lying. These lies weren't little white lies - they were mammoth 'shows' - intricately shared. The level of detail...it's mind boggling. Absolutely won't offer any help or support of any kind going forward other than confirming the one true thing: we love him. Forever and always and unconditionally. He said to me at some point in the weeks leading up to that call 'Mom, no matter what happens, I love you. Forever and always'.
We've done a lot of yard stuff this week - starting to prune back the blossoming plants to get them ready for winter. We can (and will) do some trimming in Spring but some plants need to be cut back to avoid looking awful for months. Also doing a lot of stone repair - tossing stones that have migrated out of the area they started in - it's a lot of deep bending and squats and boy, do I feel it in my legs at the end of the day.
J.'s back from Costco. Gotta run!
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