Tension

Last night was the first time I can recall where J. and I were on each others 'last nerve' the majority of the evening....it's not normal for us to be snarky with each other....but we were. Maybe because it was Friday and we found ourselves spending our wind-down evening full of activity. We went to the open house at the Charter High School we are enrolling H. in for fall - so instead of having a beer (or two) and sort of easing into the weekend, we drove out to the 'country' and attended a meeting. Filled out paperwork. And then stopped for dinner.

J.'s driving makes me nervous....not sure why. But it does. And as we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, there was a car coming out of an alley - and I had a startle response. And J. snapped at me - saying 'I'm observant and I can drive' (something like that). I got out of the car and said nothing. And as we passed the little market next to the restaurant, he said, 'we can get Lotto there'. To which I replied 'it's closed'.

So the guy who's observant and can drive doesn't notice the bright red 'We're Closed' sign on the door of the market....a door we were walking past with a sign that was less than 6 inches from his eyes.....

He makes me nuts sometimes. Last night was the first time ever, in our entire relationship, where I thought: I sure hope I can deal with this for the rest of my life 'cuz the man makes me bonkers.

And I'm sure he felt the exact same way 'cuz I was snarky. I had 'commitments' 4 of 5 nights this past week - and my stress level was off the charts. I'm fighting some weird cold/sinus thing that has me waking up periodically thinking my head is going to explode and literally every morning this week, I've awakened thinking 'I'm sure I shouldn't go to work today' - but I've gone. So it's not been a great week - and I'm tired. And I'm sick of people needing me to hold their hand and walk them through every little thing that needs doing. It's like having a second - third - and fourth job every single day - the long list of things to do and then having to tell someone step by step what to do and how to do it. Just like at work, I find myself thinking 'it's faster for me to do it myself. Just do it all myself'.

On that note, I am writing out a massive to-do list for H. for tomorrow - I will be at work and he's been doing yard work every weekend to earn extra money. So he needs instructions on what to do. So I'm doing that for him.

And I'm home alone tonight (J. is in Oregon for a funeral - we are officially budgeting monthly for funeral expenses) and the kids are with friends for the night. So I'm going to clean the carpets on the landing and let them dry overnight since there's no one here to walk on them!!