Thursday, February 26, 2009

Potluck

One of the traditions we have at work is a monthly potluck. The purpose of the pot luck (other than to stuff our faces and have an 'excuse' to over eat) is to celebrate the birthdays that happen in that month.

The assignments of what to bring rotate - main dish, salad/fruit, side dish, dessert, paper products, beverages. You are only assigned to bring something every other month - so you get to enjoy 5-6 potlucks each year that you don't have to lift a finger for. I LOVE those months. I also love the paper or beverage months. I'm good at those.

That still leaves plenty of months to sort of 'dread'....

See, I'm a decent cook. I do OK. I can put together a reasonable dinner that people will eat...and I do enjoy trying new things and new techniques - but ONLY when I have the luxury of time. Most work nights, we do something fairly quick - this evening was a Costco roasted chicken, roasted potatoes and salad. But the salad was also from Costco. I had been in an all day meeting, I had to go to Costco anyway to pick up things for the potluck - so I took the easy way out. And even then, we just finished dinner - and it's approaching 7:30 PST. I am very tired today...and the last thing I want to do is cook.

But tomorrow is our potluck, and I'm on for a dessert. And with very few exceptions, all of the people in our offices are FANTASTIC COOKS. Three Italian families to start - who make every thing from scratch....so the competition is fierce. And I sort of dread it...

I am making an apple crisp - peeled, cored and sliced apples baked with butter, brown sugar, oats, etc. until the apples are soft. Served (if everything goes right) with either vanilla ice cream or whip cream. I have everything here - except the ice cream - I forgot to get that which means I'll have to go in the morning quickly to pick up ice cream.

I know I can do this....it's not rocket science. And it will taste great. But honestly, I'm wishing I'd just picked up a cheesecake or something at Costco and called it a day. I don't want to cook tonight. I DON'T WANNA, I DON'T WANNA....

But I will. It's the least I can do for all those other great cooks....

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Too?

I'm starting to think President Obama is just TOO inspiring. So many hopes and dreams pinned to one guy - trying to shift a nation's course. It's only been 35 days. He still has (at least) 4 years to go.

I didn't feel inspired after last night's address. And I wonder about that....wonder what I was needing to hear that I apparently didn't? He certainly got rave reviews by all accounts. He is most certainly a great orator and delivered a clear, understandable message. I think we're in the best of hands - and certainly compared to the other guy that might have been in the job if it weren't Obama.

Still, I just didn't 'feel it' last night. I'm apparently resigned to the stock market tanking no matter what is said - or done. I'm apparently resigned to acknowledging that we will work another 10, 12, 15 years....at least. Most certainly I will - and perhaps my hubby, too, depending on where we are when he hits his 'full' retirement age of 66 in another 7 years.

I don't think I expected a miracle....but maybe I did? And so since one hasn't materialized - since it's clearly going to be a long, slow climb up, I guess I'm kind of disappointed...and resigned. So maybe he's just too inspiring and my expectations are all screwed up?

To me, he sounded like a politician. I've never felt that way about him before last night. And it isn't that I like/love him any less - it's just that he's a politician. And I'm not really sure that he knows what the answer is. He's just trying a lot of things - like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see when it's 'done' and hoping it sticks.

Because we're all starving. We need something to stick pretty damn quick.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Academy

We watched the Oscars last night. LOVE Hugh Jackman - what's not to love? He's just great! And on the Barbara Walters special after the Oscars, he clearly was a guy madly in love with his wife - and I love guys who are like that. Still crazy about their bride and not afraid to show it! He rocked!

I like the 'new' format - it felt more intimate and focused more on the actors who did the work to get there. The only thing I did kind of 'miss' were clips of a scene from the nominated work - but then, if they'd had that, it wouldn't have felt as clearly 'new' format wise as it did. I liked having a former winner in each category (of the big categories) give praise to a nominee. I thought that was kind of neat.

I stayed home sick today - I avoid calling in anytime - but most especially Mondays when it seems so obvious that you just couldn't face the thought of a day of work and so extended your weekend into a 3 day. For me, this was not the case - I have been under the weather much of the weekend and even after taking it easy yesterday (when I had more than enough to do around the house and the same (or more) amount of work that I carted home after working most of Saturday), I just felt like the day at home would be better. I won't bore you with the details. It was just better to be in closer proximity to a room with a lot of porcelain in it. 'Nuf said.

I did work a good chunk of the day - my laptop was set up for remote access on Friday and it worked like a dream. So I was productive for at least 1/2 of the day, thus saving myself 4 hours of sick time. Yeah me!

I sent the boys out to pickup cheap Chinese - had to practically beg B. to drive there. Resisted reminding him that technically, we own the car; we pay for the gas and all the upkeep; etc. So perhaps he could take 1/2 hour out of his day and go pick up dinner - since having called in sick, I don't feel right about 'going to the mall'.

Chloe is in my lap quivering - I can't tell if she's shaking because she's sniffing - or if she's shaking because she's cold. Either are possible - both are likely. Time to turn the heat on, I guess.

Boys just walked in. I will dare to eat - have not had much the past few days...it will either kill me or cure me....

Nationalization

I tell J. this morning 'hey, check to see if your employer still has an Employee Stock Ownership Plan (ESOP) and if yes, go ahead and get the paperwork to sign up. With the stock at a huge 'low', we can find a little $$ each month to buy some stock - to hold long term for retirement.'

And his reply was: 'as long as the bank doesn't end up nationalized and we lose it all.

This is the thing about my lovely husband: I've been terrified FOR WEEKS that his bank his headed into the crapper like so many others - and I bring up those fears periodically. The stock is devastated (as are most bank stocks)...and while his bank sure seems 'better off' than most, you never know, right? And for weeks/months, he's always replied 'oh, that won't happen to us. We're fine'.

Only today, when it comes to buying into his bank, now it's 'um, maybe we shouldn't'.

So you see, even the eternal optimists are getting a bit concerned....

This does not bode well.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Miracle Whip

J. read my post and went straight to the kitchen - came into the study with a jar of mayo and a jar of Miracle Whip and proceeded to analyze the differences.

MW has vinegar in it - which is why I dislike it so intensely. If I wanted salad dressing on a sandwich or in my tuna or egg salad, I'd just use Good Seasons or something. I want MAYO - egg yolks, oil and a little spice. Call me a purist, but putting vinegar in a spread you put on bread is just wrong.

Though I have to admit - it's 1/3 the calories and fat of mayo. I know, for my health, I should consider 'switching'.

But I just can't do it. I think MW is the grossest stuff ever invented - and I don't care how many of the really important people in my life 'switch to the dark side'. I am sticking with mayo the way it was intended to be - creamy, rich and not at all tasting of vinegar and sugar.

I love mayo so much that I've really wished I was a 'cooking whiz' to the degree that I could make home made mayo. I had a friend in Texas (we went to Europe together the summer of our 16th year and we visited periodically) who's mom made homemade mayo while I was there - and I'll never forget watching her mix the yolks and the oil oh-so-carefully and the amazing substance known as mayonnaise appeared before my very eyes. It was the best mayo I've ever had and to this day, I still think of it when I'm spreading the jarred stuff on a sandwich - wishing I had the skill to do that. Maybe I'll add that to the list of things I want to master when I'm not working 50+ hours per week.

And thanks (and hello!) to my cousin DLB for posting a comment - glad the post gave you a good chuckle. J. laughed out loud, too.

Disappointment

We went out to dinner on Friday- not unusual. Headed to our regular Mexican food place....but next door to that restaurant is a really nice, more 'atmosphere' place that we eat at rarely. It was just me, J. and B. - H. was at a friends house and opted to skip dinner.

I asked (as we pulled into the parking lot) 'hey, B., want to try Magellan's tonight'? Fully expecting the answer to be 'no', he said 'yes'!

So we enjoyed a wonderful splurge - it is a wonderful place but it's pricey.

Dinner was fantastic....good salads, pasta for me and B. and delicious fish for J. (we shared so we each got a little of both). I even had wine (one glass) and we had desserts. Delicious - and close to 3 times the cost of what we would have paid next door. But oh well - we needed to 'live a little'.

Conversation was good - upbeat. Until things turned bad....

During this dinner, my son disclosed something that has rocked me to my core.....I can barely begin to write the words he said.....it still shocks me, days later....

He disclosed......

Unbelievably......

'I'm starting to really like Miracle Whip'.

'NOOOOOOOOO'......was my shocked reply. 'You and me and H. are MAYONNAISE PEOPLE. We are NOT Miracle Whip people. Only DAD eats Miracle Whip.'

I said 'I have never been more disappointed in you in your entire life, B.'.

Followed with 'and I'm going to have to blog about this.'

So there you have it - a turn of events that will change our lives forever.

He said something about 'fat content is so much less with Miracle Whip, Mom'. I'm like 'but it is filled with sugar - you can TASTE the sugar....'.

I survived....barely.

And the food and company were wonderful. It was a really nice evening and I know that B. will be a fan of that place going forward. He cleaned his plate...and splurged and had layered chocolate cake for dessert. And then said 'I'm going to the gym to run five miles'....though he waited until the next morning to go run.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Foreclosure

OK - this isn't supposed to be a 'political' blog...but there remain some things I need to get off my chest so hang in there while I let loose the other really big thing that's on my mind. Well, there's 'Octo Mom' - the mother of the octuplets who also has six other children...but I've decided to take the high road on that story and just remain mute. There's so much I want to say about that situation - she's ill-equipped (in my opinion) to adequately care for that many children....her mother is clearly a bitter, angry woman (which might explain why this fairly young lady is so desperate to find love by giving birth to so many children).....but enough on that. I wish them well and hope they have a wonderful life. The 8 of them are certainly miracles and there must be a reason...so I'm not going to dedicate a full post to that.

And I will acknowledge that we FINALLY have a state budget - perhaps my post did it. Yeah, right. But it was nice to see a comment from Mr. Organized Crime (Hi!) and nice to know someone out there is reading this besides me. So, the Legislature did their jobs and voted and we have a budget...not sure of all the specific impacts to our district but I have to say it's better (in some ways) than what we expected. More flexibility items that will definitely help district get through these hard times. Still bad. But better than it could have been. So that's good.

No, what has me completely pissed off this evening is our new President's proposal to bail out people to avoid foreclosures. I support the intent behind that plan - but I do not support the bailing out. It pisses me off.

We are an average upper middle class family. We are blessed with good, stable jobs (knock on wood) that pay well - and for that, we work our asses off. Seriously. We do not have 'easy, low-stress' jobs. We work really hard to provide for our kids...and we pay all our bills on time every month. Mortgage, insurance, property taxes, and everything else related to sheltering, caring and feeding four humans, one canine, two felines and a bird (sorry - I don't remember her species classification. I could look it up but I'm too tired).

Our home and our retirement accounts WERE our greatest assets. They are all - ALL - now devalued by at least 50% of where they were this time a year ago. That hurts. A lot. We could probably sell our house now for what we owe on it, technically - and we're glad for that. We had hundreds of thousands of equity a couple years ago - and we don't anymore. And we're OK with that - we owe about what the house is worth and so we'd be 'even' if we had to sell. Which we're not. But we could. We're still paying our mortgage - and we certainly don't consider ourselves in need of being bailed out. We have assets. We are doing OK. Making ends meet. Saving. Paying all our bills, in full, every month. Without fail. We are blessed - and we know it.

But here's a story for you - I just heard this recently from a friend at work. She has friends who are facing foreclosure. And they are praying the proposed bail out will 'save' them. But the reason these people need to be bailed out is because they borrowed up to the hilt of their appraised value at every opportunity. They owe $600K on a house now worth half that. And they owe close to $50K in credit card debt - which is debt they RAN UP again and again after refinancing. Each time they refinanced, they paid off credit card debt and then charged it up again. They now can't afford their mortgage - it's adjusted several times and their income doesn't support their payment. But the problem isn't that they lost a job...their problem is: they are living way above their means. And they have been for a really long time. Every time they borrowed against the value of their home, they 'lived' on that money. Spending on 'things' - things they didn't need and really couldn't afford.

And now, they want us - families like us - to bail them out. To have tax payers pay for their over-spending and bad judgment. Note: if you take on an adjustable rate mortgage, it may very well ADJUST (that's why it's called ADJUSTABLE). Now those loans are great for folks who need lower payments at first and will then be able to qualify for a refi before the adjustment period. And granted, some folks are in a pickle because the housing market tanked and now they can't refinance - because their house isn't worth enough to get a refi approved. Hey, we've been there....read back to our 'condo' years...10 years in a condo with two little boys because the builder filed bankruptcy a month after we bought it...we owed way more than we could get an appraisal for and we stayed - month after month, year after year. We made our payments and plugged away - we didn't walk away, though we sure thought about it. We stayed. And we were careful and frugal and saved and got the heck out as soon as we could.

I have sympathy for a dear friend of ours who lost her husband and really was a victim of 'predatory lending'. She got into a really bad loan - and she was pushed to take it. And she's close to losing her home because of it. But she's staying and she's trying to work it out. SHE is an example of someone I will happily help bail out. She lives very frugally, is doing everything she can to make ends meet (including working three jobs). She just had a bad lending agent feed her a load of crap - and now she's in trouble...

But the other people - the ones who owe close to $700K? No way. Get the hell out of the house you couldn't afford to begin with and learn to live within your means. If you can't pay for something the day you're buying it, don't buy it. You are in this mess because you use your house as a checkbook. It isn't. It's a house. Walk away, be foreclosed, take the hit on your credit score and move on. Rent. Stop shopping. Cut up your credit cards. You clearly are unable (and/or unwilling) to stop spending money you don't have to spend.

And I do not want our government, for which we are all paying, to bail you out. No way. No. Just no.

I don't know how the plan will be rolled out. I haven't read much about it (though I plan to) and I'm sure hopeful that our widowed friend will be helped and the flaky couple living off the value of their now de-valued home aren't.

But what I want to know is: what will be the benefit for all of us who have been and will continue to pay their mortgage? What do we get for being careful? For reading the fine print? For not buying a home we couldn't afford? For living within our means? Do I think the lending institutions were stupid to make loans that required no documentation of 'proof of income' (for example)? Yes, they were. But honestly, the people taking those loans had to realize that they were on the edge of not being able to afford those homes from the get-go. Homes are expensive! Not just the structure - not just paying the mortgage. There's insurance and utilities and maintenance. Surely they woke up a few months into their new home ownership experience and realized 'wow, we really aren't bringing enough home to cover our bills'. Surely they knew....

So what do all of us out there paying our mortgages, living in houses that are (also, like homes heading into foreclosure) seriously devalued. What's in it for us? How about some kind of tax credit - to acknowledge that we've been doing the right thing month after month. Year after year.

I know they say if they don't bail out people, the housing market will tank further. But honestly, I don't care. I really don't. I mean, I don't want that to happen - but we all know we're not at the 'bottom' yet. There's more to come. So just let it happen. People who never should have been home owners to begin with will return to the rental market. People who can afford houses will have many good values to choose from. Starter homes will be abundant - and that will be a good thing. Find well-qualified applicants and return to the days of yore when buying a house meant something. When having a good credit score was worth something.

Think about it - what will all these bail outs mean to credit scores? They'll become meaningless. Our stellar credit score won't mean a thing - or will we get bonus points for paying every month while our neighbor doesn't? Wait - forget that. Bonus points are meaningless to us - we already have a pretty high score (just stating fact, not intended to be boastful). It can't get much higher. So what will we get for being responsible and paying our mortgage on time each month?

I'm still completely thrilled with our President and believe he will do what needs to be done. But I wonder....I just can't wrap my head around bailing out irresponsible people. So I sure hope they figure out a way to be careful about who they're bailing out. Some stories out there are just that - stories. People who used the boom in the housing market to create cash flow - and now don't have enough cash to support those actions. I don't want to bail them out....I want them to start over, as they should.

I told J. I was writing about the bail out plan and he said 'well, supposedly there is criteria - you should read about the plan before you post'. And my response to that is: it's my blog...and I can rant if I want to. (and the song 'It's My Party' keeps running through my head.....).

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Partisan

Well, partisan politics are alive and well in our fair state.

(If you are a Republican, I mean you no offense. Seriously. In fact, I need you - I need you to read what I'm about to write and if you live in California, call your State Representative(s) and share this post with them).

It is unfathomable to me how the Republican legislators in our Senate cannot understand this critical thing: you cannot close a FORTY TWO BILLION (that's with a B!!) gap between revenue and expenses by simply cutting expenses. You forced that approach through this time last year - gutted education budgets and other services across the state and managed to make it through THAT fiscal year, albeit barely.

We are now a year later - and as we all know, our economy - of our state AND of our nation - is in far worse shape than we were a year ago. Things are BAD. Hugely bad. It is IMPOSSIBLE to bridge the ever-widening gap between our state's revenue and our state's expenditures by cutting expenses alone. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO CUT. So the 'compromise' being presented NOW is a combination of reducing expenses and some increases in taxes.

We're not talking zillions of dollars in tax increases. We're talking raising vehicle licensing fees; raising sales tax; raising gasoline tax. Are those painful? Yes, sure. For all of us. Are they dire? Far from it. Admittedly, budgets are tight and certainly, we'd all prefer to not pay more for a gallon of gas. Or more tax on a clothing, etc.

But if the alternative is doing NOTHING, (which is what all of our legislature has been doing regarding our state budget's Armageddon for months now), I'll take taxes.

The Senate is short ONE REPUBLICAN VOTE. Just one. They've already had some Republican Senators cross party lines and vote for the budget that raises these taxes. They need one more. Just one.

It is mind-boggling to me how the party known as Republicans in our State are failing to see the 'big picture'. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees. Holy Cow. The Governor is about to send out TWENTY THOUSAND lay off notices to State employees. All construction projects are stopped. That stoppage alone is costing FOUR HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. Done, poof, gone - while they spend the night, caucusing over and over and being as stubborn as mules.

These are dangerous times. How do they not see that? How can they be so short-sighted that they don't see that the people they are elected to serve and protect are suffering a long, slow painful slide into oblivion? We are the eighth largest economy IN THE WORLD - just our little state. And yet, we have a legislative process that requires a 2/3 majority to pass a budget - and we can't get enough Republicans to agree.

Even our Governor - himself a Republican - the guy who a year ago forced it to be all about 'cutting expenses' - failing to recognize (at that time) the revenue side of the equation - has turned around and realized that WE CAN'T CLOSE THAT LARGE OF A GAP BETWEEN MONEY IN AND MONEY OUT by only addressing the expense side of the equation. It's just not possible. That gap continues to grow. And it will only get worse as our legislature fails to come to an agreement.

It is the craziest thing I've ever seen. And I'm in the middle of it - I'm waiting to find out how much money my district won't get this year (because the State is taking some of our current revenue back - only they haven't confirmed exactly how much they're taking - and let me tell you, that's pretty frickin' stressful when your district's spending some of the revenue it may not get and you are the person responsible for keeping things in the black - NOT in the red) and next.

So, if you are a Republican in California, think 'big picture'. Yes, we'll pay a bit more on things we all buy, use and need. But we'll have infrastructure. Education. Fewer unemployed people. A chance...to survive what is happening to our nation's and our state's economy. We are sliding further and further into an abyss of unknown proportion.

Please. It just takes one of you to 'do the right thing'. This is not the time to think like a Republican. It's the time to think like a citizen of California. Your constituency - and the rest of us - are counting on you.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Impasse

I'm sort of hesitant to post this - to actually write it all down. Sure that once I do that, the entire discussion will resurface and fester and we'll be in the limbo we've been in for over a year. But it does appear that reconciliation has occurred - that we are in agreement, at least for today.

B. has decided to attend a two year college - and even better - he wants to attend the two year college where I worked for almost five years.

The reasons for this are many - and while he has taken some time to get to this place, I know he knows in his gut that it's the right decision. He is just plain 'not ready' to make the break from home and attend an 'away' school, though he desperately wants to. His grades are far from stellar; his motivation lacking on a regular basis. Most recently, he waited until the last minute to do a paper - and ended up having to miss some school to get it done. He sees no 'patterns' in all this - doesn't seem to tie the repeated pattern of putting things off as long as possible; misjudging just how long things take (I'm telling him to multiply the time HE thinks it will take by 2 or 3 and that will be closer to what it will actually take); putting off school work because of social things like going to the gym or time with friends.

I've lost count of the times these issues have surfaced in the past 3.5 years of his high school days. Given up at trying to point the patterns out over and over. But he finally realized that it's probably not the best thing to consider moving away from home, at a cost of $20-$30K per year....and so he approached us and said that he felt it would be better to attend a community college.

And then said 'because I want to focus on the band'. I resisted the urge to have my head spin off my neck and said sweetly 'ok, but know this: the same patterns you've had throughout your high school days - of putting things off because there's something more important (read: more fun) to do won't fly in college - whether it's a 4 year school or a 2 year school, college is a lot of work and shelling out money for you to attend will require considerably more effort on your part. More consistent, diligent, on-going effort than you have put into your high school career. $20/unit and living at home and commuting to school still costs money...and so we won't foot the bill if the grades don't reflect effort on your part.'

This conversation happened not quite a week ago - and he's changed and re-changed his mind a couple times since then. But he knows - he KNOWS - that this is the best decision for him. His grades are in the toilet. He has to send transcripts reflecting current grades and as soon as he does that, he will be off the 'conditionally accepted' list and on the 'uh oh' off conditionally accepted list. And he knows it.

I know he's disappointed. And secretly, I am, too. Not because I'm disappointed in him - I'm not. I know he's making the right decision and I know, first-hand, that the quality of education he will get at the two year school he's selected is STELLAR. But my heart breaks a little bit 'cuz I was sort of excited about him having that 'adventure'. And I was most definitely excited about him being out of the house. Two fewer years of the teenage, on the verge of adulthood, angst filled B. would be a nice thing. But it appears he will be living here a couple more years at least. And that's OK. Really, it is. And in two years, he'll transfer to the school of his choice, with a stellar (God willing) transcript reflecting two years of great grades at LPC.

And then, we'll get to do the whole 'setting up his dorm room', visiting him on weekends, enjoying 'B.-free' zones. We might even be lucky enough to have H. out of the house at the same time...so there's that to look forward to - the days of 'teen-free zone' are not too far away. Really, they're not.

He still has the hurdle of telling his AVID teacher - and THAT whole issue is another post for another time. Depending on how that goes, I may be firing off a letter to the Superintendent of the high school district and give him a piece of my mind. I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out. Suffice it to say: the AVID teacher at B.'s school is very 'against' her students attending community colleges. She uses the 'data' that supports that many kids attending two year colleges don't transfer - and while that may be true, I know it will not be true for B. He has a mother who is a product of the community college system - you enter with the goal of getting a 4 year degree and that is WHAT YOU WILL GET. She doesn't consider it - and has put quite a bit of pressure on B. to not consider that as an option. The kid is more stressed out about talking to her about this whole decision than he is about dealing with us on this decision. I just don't think that's right. I don't think a high school teacher should have a kid so worried and upset that he's dreading talking to her about the decision.

And had we known she would be applying a fair bit of pressure for the past couple years B. has been in AVID, we never would have moved him into that program. That single decision has caused us more heartache and angst as a family then any other decision. Which just isn't right.

We have offered to come with him to meet with her. He's afraid to tell her - how wrong is that? To be afraid of talking to a teacher about a decision that is purely a FAMILY decision.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Storming

I should be out running errands.....or attending church.....or lots of other things that require leaving the house. But there's a big storm passing through - it'd be a 'nor' east er' if we lived on the east coast....I have no idea what we should call it here. It's big enough and wet enough that we've had to drain some water out of the pool. THAT'S when you know there's been a lot of rain - it was getting pretty darn full and we couldn't risk it topping out overnight and flooding the backyard. I made J. set a timer of some kind - feeling like we're getting 'on in years' and we might forget we've had the pool draining and go out and find it empty - thankfully, we/he didn't forget and we drained just enough to be in the safe zone again. Might need to drain a bit more today depending on how much (more) water falls.

There's stuff blown all over the yard - the pool and spa are a mess. And it's still blowing and gusting and raining off and on. So the boys and I (J. is playing bass at church today) have started a fire in the family room and are just hanging out. B. is getting ready to go to work. H. is playing video games. Both were planning to spend the day snowboarding with friends, but that plan got scrapped around 5AM this morning....so now B. will head to work and H. will just hang out.

I woke up at 7:30, sat up in bed and felt 'ugh'...so I went back to sleep. I would have probably slept until at least 9ish but there were some really loud noises - musics, bangs, etc. I couldn't figure out where they were coming from (since I was expecting everyone to be gone). H. was watching Oceans Eleven (he loves the three Oceans movies almost as much as I do!) in the family room, where the surround sound was booming...under the bed I was sleeping in. Oh well. Probably better to get up - there's plenty to do. There's always plenty to do.

Our Valentine's Day celebration was quiet - we bought Rib Eye steaks and had salad to go with - and I made brownies. With hot fudge sauce. And as many maraschino cherries as you wanted on top. I ate 10 (cherries, not brownies). And 1/2 a steak. There's plenty of leftovers for tonight.

We will try to brave the weather to make a Costco run today. Out of staples like apples and bananas and I can't bring myself to buy them at the grocery store - so much more expensive and not nearly as good.

I am heading into a three week marathon of work....big report due and it's a doozy. All the budget reductions, budget cuts, etc. have to be incorporated into this massive document....and it all rests firmly on my shoulders. It will get done but working weekends is highly likely for the next couple weeks. So I'm trying to just enjoy what might be my last weekend off for some time.

Still working on making over the study. Getting back to it shortly - much progress has been made. The housecleaning crew will be surprised on Tuesday. There's a lot less 'stuff' in here then there was last time they were here (two weeks ago).

I leave you with this: the simple reminders you find of love in your everyday life - none of these pictures were staged. They just happened and I've been saving them for the right occasion. In my morning coffee one day not too long ago - and in my makeup that I use daily. Sometimes, hearts appear. I love it when that happens.

Hoping your Valentine's Day was the sweetest!



Thursday, February 12, 2009

Cali Who?

It appears that the lovely, charming Cali-Sue (I don't know why I added Sue to her name...it just seems to fit) wasn't suffering from abandonment related to a foreclosure or anything that bad. Perhaps she was merely left to her own devices while her human family went away for a three day weekend because I haven't seen her once since Monday morning. So she's moved on to mooch off other families? Or to return home. The bowls are still out on the front porch and in the back yard but there's been no sign of her. I'm not thinking anything's happened to her other than she went home. And she'll be welcomed back whenever she returns. We like having a 'stray' cat friend now and then. Well, I like it - and J. indulges me - 'cuz he's sweet like that.

I'm off tomorrow - at least mostly off. My PC is being upgraded and I have to go in around 1ish to see how the conversion is going. Hopefully, all will be well and I'll have a brand new, super fast, oh-so-much-lighter laptop! Yippee! The current one is getting odd 'memory' messages and occasional 'blue screens of almost death' - and our IT guy said 'replace it before something horrible happens'. So we did. Can't wait.

4 day weekend looming with just working around the house on the list. Possibly a lunch date with my husband....and I need to go back to Macy's and return a couple things. An excuse to drive to the 'big mall' again.

My cousin D. in Edmond, OK. emailed me to confirm they are OK - scared me to pieces when I read that the tornadoes in Oklahoma hit Edmond - many cousins live there. I emailed her pleading to 'send me an email that you're alright - or I'll have to shock the heck out of you and call you!'. Looking forward to her blog update SOON, I hope 'cuz I've missed the happenings in her life lately.

I am heading out the door to a Lions meeting shortly. Wishing I didn't have to go 'cuz Survivor premieres tonight and I hate to miss it - but I'll be home to watch it with J. on our DVR.

Boys are (still) driving me crazy. B. has (I hope) made a decision related to college that is the better decision - one we have been hoping for. We will see if he sticks to it. His grades are still lacking and the effort to change that isn't happening either - so we're at impasse on many topics. He frustrates me....I am reassured by many family and friends that this is all 'normal'; that they do improve and become lovely people someday. But for now, we muddle through. He has made some bad choices/decisions lately - and assumes no responsibility for much of it. Yet, it is what it is. It can't be ignored. I know he knows this....but he's still holding out hope for a miracle. Or a change of heart. HIS HEART is telling him what he should do - he's just resisting listening to it. And he knows what the better decision is. I'm praying it's settled soon - I'm pretty sure I'm getting an ulcer and while work is certainly a component of that, the situation with him is not helping any.

Bye for now - off to hear high school students in a speech contest sponsored by Lions.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Cali

Cali was back this morning. I've confirmed it's a girl! She heard me take Chloe out and next thing I knew, she was back on her perch on top of the shed, awaiting her breakfast. I obliged.

The boys and I are off today - and we're heading to the 'big mall' in Modesto. I need bras. While I shop at Macy's, the boys can head to Zumiez or wherever. We can meet up again around lunch time. B. is at the gym but thinks he'll be home in time for us to head out the door by 11ish. He has to be back for work by 4 and I have a lot to finish in the study - and a (small) list of work things I should take care of as well.

Chloe is so taken with Cali that they came nose to nose this morning. Chloe is still outside, 'hanging out' with the cat. THAT alone is worth the trouble of feeding her - Chloe only likes to be outside if we're hanging out with her - and I can't spend all day out there while she sniffs around, lounges in the sun, etc. So perhaps an 'outdoor' cat isn't such a bad thing.

I have to go fill up the car, stop at the bank and also now add 'buy cheap cat food' (Purina brand vs. the Nutro brand our cats eat) for Cali. I don't mind feeding her but I am thrifty and she'll be fine with Purina. She devoured the entire bowl of dry food I left on the front porch last night- well, at least she and perhaps a few of her neighborhood cats did. I didn't stay up to watch who visited the feeding bowl.

I hope I'm not turning into the 'cat lady of Tracy'.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Cat

This afternoon, as we were taking out yet another recycle bin full of papers, etc. from the study makeover, a small, sweet Calico cat was sitting on the roof of our storage shed. S/he (don't know what it is yet - haven't gotten close enough to look) was pretty lovey - let me scratch his head and was lying down with glee at the petting.

I raced upstairs to get some cat food (since our two cats live upstairs, that's where all the cat supplies are) and raced back downstairs to find a small bowl. As soon as s/he smelled the food, s/he raced down from the roof and braved the dog - THAT'S how hungry s/he was - it braved a DOG to come down and eat. It was shaking as it ate - almost too excited or afraid the food would be taken by another animal. It gulped down a full packet of food - the same packet of food that feeds our two very large cats each night. Poor thing. It is skin and bones. And cute as a button.

We just returned from dinner and the cat was waiting in the front yard for us. J. is not pleased. I asked him, earnestly 'just what is your problem with me feeding a stray cat'? He said 'I don't want another pet to feed'. To which I replied 'J., I'm just feeding it. I'm not bringing it inside, getting it de-clawed and adding a third feline to our home [and if you disapprove of declawing cats, I understand. I didn't want to either - but I didn't want the banisters of our staircase used as a scratching post either]. I'm just feeding a cat who appears to be on the verge of starvation. I don't see what the harm is in that'. I brought down some dry catfood and put it in a bowl on the front porch - and s/he went after it as foraciously as s/he'd eaten the moist food only 3 hours earlier.

I don't know where this cat's family is or where they went. There are a lot of foreclosed, vacant homes in our neighborhood and perhaps s/he was left behind in a quick move. I don't know. S/he is clearly a pet - too tame and too willing to be petted to be a feral stray. S/he's had a family and a home and plenty to eat - and now appears to not have those things.

And as long as I'm able, I'm going to offer food - and a place to hang out. I'm not taking it in or planning to add it to our home's pet inventory. But I have food and a heart and I'm not letting it starve. Not on my watch.

Is s/he going to be annoying? Possibly. But if all it wants is food and water and an occasional petting, I'm good with that. S/he's clean and looks healthy - just skinny and in need of food and companionship. I can do that. WE can do that. And we're going to.

My husband has a heart of gold. He'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it...and he loves our animals. He really does. I know that he's thinking 'I know this cat is going to end up in our home'. And I just have to reassure him 'no, s/he will not. We don't want more pets. We've agreed that the pets we have now are the last pets we will have - we want to travel and be able to go wherever we want to when we retire, so adding pets is NOT part of that plan. I'm not changing the plan. I'm just altering it to include 'feeding a stray cat'. That's all.

I feel sorry for it - I think it's been abandoned by a family and I don't want it to starve to death. My heart just can't take that.

For now, I'm calling it 'Cali'. Short for calico.

Pithy

Unusual for a Saturday, I awoke determined to tackle something BIG. Refusing to witter away the day on things that I would not remembering doing nor find any value in, I decided to tackle the room known as the 'study'. This is the room that J. and I spend the majority of our time in - tip-tapping across from each other surfing the web, reading/writing blogs, handling our finances, etc.

Because we spend so much time in this room, this is also the room that undoubtedly has the most 'hot spots'. The surfaces of this room get full of 'stuff' far more quickly than any other room - and we fail to tackle it very often because it just grows exponentially until we just can't fathom where to start.

But start we did. There are now surfaces showing where previously was stuff. We identified things that don't belong in here and moved them to where they do belong. A lot of the clutter was paper that needed to be filed - and that required culling out the file cabinets. It's always like that, isn't it? One thing leads to another and to another. Usually, once I realize that I can't really file anything 'cuz the files drawers are full of other stuff and THAT requires culling also, I give up. But not yesterday. We culled and culled - filled recycle bins, shred bins, trash bags. And finally feel like some sense of order has been restored, at least for the time being. We still have a ways to go today but we are making progress.

While culling, I've found all kinds of things....walking down memory lane looking at pics of the kids when they were little, etc. And among the treasures uncovered was a 5x8 envelope full of things I used to have on my first corporate world job - yes, I know what you're thinking - wow, that stuff is OLD. Yes, it is. And I will be taking some of the items found to work with me on Tuesday to put up on my bulletin board border along my desk. Some of these things are good reminders.

I'm always looking for words that describe a feeling....a series of reminders to me of things that I want to ingrain and embrace. I especially did a lot of that in my 20's - a decade fraught with insecurity and fear of the unknown. Out of college and 'on my own', living the dream....but it was a tough decade for me...and I had all sorts of 'touchstones' that I used to help me remember some things that I felt so deeply important back then. Thankfully, as I read them again this morning, they are still true...possibly more so as I struggle with raising two teen boys and wrestle with the recent events in our economy.

Here are some of the 'signs' I used to have on my desk. I can't give credit to the authors because I typed the sayings out and printed them and cut them out and posted them...so not intending to take credit. If I know the author, I'll show it - but for some, I don't. These are not MY words...they are just things that touched me way back when...that reminded me of what I wanted for myself:

'It's not the event that causes stress - it's your interpretation of the event that causes stress.'

'Happiness is the exercise of your vital abilities along lines of excellence in the life that affords their scope. You are happy if you are doing your thing - not necessarily achieving it - in a life that affords you the chance.'

'This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one: the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.'

'Sometimes you just have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.' Kobi Yamada

'If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you.' Sister Mary Tricky

'If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.' Lou Whitaker

'You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?' Bob Moawad


I still enjoy reading these and they still apply to my current, 20-years forward life as they did back then.

And on that last note, I will get off my butt and get back to work!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Connection

I have searched and searched over the years for a long lost high school friend. Last I knew, she was married and in Colorado. I was in her wedding and my memory bank had retained her new last name and her husband's name. The Internet usually makes finding people easy - and her name is not common - or so I thought. Turns out there's dozens of her all over the country. Married/maiden name - same thing. Dozens and dozens.

I wandered over to the Classmates.com website the other day - got 'tricked' into buying a Gold membership because someone had posted on my message board and I couldn't see who until I paid the fee. Oh well. Turned out, I didn't even know the guy who posted - he went to my grade school though I have no recollection of him whatsoever. Sucker punched! Those Classmates guys are sneaky.

I figured just one more time, I would type in her name and search for her. No luck. But, a 'people search' website popped up with a long list of people with her name. None in Colorado. One in Arizona. Hmmm.....she grew up in Arizona (me, too!)....so I clicked on her name - and there she was! It was most definitely her - same married name and her maiden name, too. Referenced her husband under the 'associated with'. Eureka! I found her. I did a 411.com search on her name and found her in Scottsdale! Couldn't wait to call. Got voicemail every time I tried..and finally left a message.

It's hard leaving a message for someone you haven't seen in over 20 years.....I know I sounded like a lunatic....the emotion in my voice at having found her finally made me sound all choked up....it was her...I'd remember that voice anywhere....no voice recognition software needed....I fumbled through a message and waited....

And waited....

I got a voicemail from her today [I'm home with a headachy, sore throat thing and went to sleep as soon as I got home - damn my love for naps 'cuz I missed her call] - she is having some issues (two deaths in her immediate family in the past couple months that are keeping her wrapped up), kid troubles (boy, can I relate to that one!). But she left a message that sounded equally as excited to reconnect with me and said she'll call back as soon as she can because she knows we're going to need a lot of time to get caught up. She's right about that....just our kids alone will be an hour (she has two boys like me!).

I can't wait.....we had the most fun in high school - she is the one bright spot (well, her and Mr. B. who ya'll already know all about) in four years of teenage angst. One if my best-est friends ever! I can't wait to talk to her....I know we're going to pick up right where we left off....

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

TARP

For the record:

don't read everything you read about some banks and their excesses. There's a lot of spin out there....so don't buy into every word you read. Or hear.

Some banks were FORCED to take the 'bail out' funds. They didn't need them, didn't seek them out and would have preferred to have not received them. They weren't given that option. They were FORCED by the US Treasury to accept them - and are dutifully putting them to work lending to customers who need restructuring of mortgages to avoid foreclosure. It's pretty hard for the employees of banks like that to hear the press bash them right and left regarding 'excesses', etc. in light of 'such and such bank receiving bail out funds'. Yes, they received them - but that's not the same as asking for them or needing them. A few did not need them - but took them because they had to. THEY HAD TO. When Uncle Sam says 'take these monies and lend them', they did. It's inaccurate to say they are 'using' bail out funds for other legitimate business expenses. And it's wrong to penalize the employees who work their butts off for their company - not to mention putting them through crappy press coverage.

The cream rises to the top and the distorted press reports will play themselves out. But I wish the press did a better job of clarifying the definition of 'bail out' funds. Not ALL banks receiving TARP funds NEEDED them.

And, these same banks are paying HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS in quarterly dividends to the government for the preferred stock those funds 'purchased'. Uncle Sam is getting a pretty damn good return on the 'investment' they made in these banks. No press coverage ever mentions THAT - at least not much. Maybe in the fine print at the bottom of a long article bashing banks about 'misusing bail out funds'.

All of the above being said: perception is reality to 99.9% of America - so best to cool it with festivities of any kind lest you get a bad rap about your activities. It wasn't your choice to take the funds - but you do have them - and that is a responsibility that can't be ignored. The average person in our country is just trying to survive - so perhaps the money being spent on employee recognition could go towards employee recognition programs that don't make the front page or CNN. Just an idea. Starbucks Gift Cards, anyone?

Sunday, February 01, 2009

FAF What?

This afternoon, I completed B's FAFSA form - it's an acronym for Free Application for Federal Student Aid. It took about two hours. Required tax returns, a calculator and patience. Thankfully, it was all online - and we were able to set up the 'secret code' numbers for us to sign the application on line and submit. I remember doing this during my college days - thankfully, the paperless version is far easier, though still time consuming. Since we haven't filed our taxes yet, I had to estimate our 2008 information and will have to go in and correct it when we file. Estimating is hard to do...especially when we don't have all our 1099-INT, etc. But I did what I could.

We don't qualify for any aid - I'm sure of that. But you still have to fill it out to be eligible to receive Stafford non-subsidized loans - and every little bit of loans we can get 'automatically' will be less we have to apply for ourselves - so we did it. The formula indicates the Feds expect us to contribute HALF - a full 50% - of our monthly take home towards B's expenses. That's ridiculous! I mean, we're doing fine and managing to stay afloat and still save - but there is absolutely no frickin' way we can pitch in HALF of our monthly take home. Wait - scratch that. We could if we didn't eat; started making our mortgage every other month instead of every month. I don't know how they calculate the 'available monthly funds' parents should reasonably consider contribution - but Holy Cow! I was stunned. I submitted the form and we'll see what loans are available. I absolutely refuse to stop contributing to J's 401K...and I don't have any choice regarding pitching in for the State retirement fund. ...so I really have no idea what else we could lower...but I guess we'll be figuring that out as we go.

H. has had multiple opportunities to take his permit test - and has declined. We're not sure if it's a 'fear of failing' kind of thing or a 'I don't want to give up free time to study' kind of thing....or what. But he (so far) has absolutely no interest in getting his permit. We're in no hurry - the longer he waits to get his permit, the longer we have with only one teenage driver on our policy. No hurry to increase that expense.

I've been a home-bug all weekend - the only time I left the house was to go to dinner last night and a quick trip to the bank and gas station this afternoon. OH, and I did go for walks with Chloe - Friday, J. and I took her for a walk and today, while J. was watching the Super Bowl, she and I headed out for a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Weather was crisp and clear and chilly - still winter in the air but warm enough (for a few days, anyway) to just wear a sweatshirt. She starts each walk whining - as soon as we put her harness on, she starts to 'worry' - like she's going to the groomer or the vet, which she doesn't like - so when we go out the back door and head for the back gate, she realizes 'yippee! this is a walk, NOT a trip in the car' and she takes off walking away from the house as fast as she can. If I'd broken out in a run, she would have, too. I had a hard time keeping up with her. I'll try to walk with her again tomorrow when I get home and/or take a brisk walk around the block at work on a break tomorrow. My joints are getting so stiff and I'm realizing that they aren't as sore if I move more - so that's what I'm trying to do. It's hard - I'm sore from start to finish - but I am in less pain than I have been so I think it's helping a bit.

I also took time this weekend to load some more music on my iPod. Santa brought me a really cool docking station and it's in my office (at work). I LOVE IT! It has a remote control and I am so enjoying playing all my 'favorite' music all day long. This weekend, I put all my 'This is Alice Music' cd's onto my computer and then loaded them onto my iPod. Also downloaded other albums. Now have over 400 songs on it and still many to load! I'm hinting that I'd really like a touch iPod for my birthday - though that will be in the summer when the trip to Mexico is looming and I know I probably won't want to spend the money...but I'm going to try to save for it.

Why are weekends always so short?

March

I'm starting to think maybe I will just do a monthly post and call it what it is - whatever month we're in.  Here we are winding dow...