Mood

It's hard to be in the Christmas mood.....and not be.....at the same time.

I'm probably more 'in' to Christmas this year far more than recent previous years...I just feel it in my bones this year - the festiveness, the joy, the excitement. I'm ready for a little celebration...and for all the things that come with it. Two weeks of sleeping in, no alarm clocks, napping at 4PM if I feel sleepy and then staying up really late.... I'm even in the mood for wrapping and shopping and cooking and tidying.....I'm up for all of it. Ready, willing and able.

At the same time, the recent issues with son #2 are festering with me....like a blister that hasn't quite formed yet. Just under the surface, irritating you and letting you know that there's trouble ahead. Painful, messy trouble.

I shared with a friend at work yesterday and confessed that I'm reasonably sure we've done a horrible parenting job. His core values seem non-existent. I was reassured that in fact, we are just going through 'the teen years' - said with much respect and reverence because this person has raised a family (and has 10 grand kids to show for it) - and we would survive.....and no, you haven't messed him up. He's being a kid...and he'll be fine. Just hang in there. I sure hope she's right because at the moment, I'm feeling like I wish there was a rewind button and we could go back 12-15 years and try again. I'd stay home, be with him 24/7, help them both with math more (they both struggle with math and it's so hard for me and J. 'cuz we're both so good at math)....I think of all the things I'd do differently if I could only have a do-over button.

I'm not in the giving mood for him because it feels like giving him what he's been coveting for so long (he's asked for his big present for a couple years and we've not indulged him - but two weeks ago was a different time and place and I finally decided it was his most fervent desire and I bought it for him/them) is really just rewarding him for incredibly bad behavior. And I'm not sure I want to do that. Indulging him at this point doesn't feel right. Hopefully it will in a week or so when the giving time is upon us.

It's Christmas, after all....

Today is hump day - we're all gleefully counting down the days until the two week break. Smiles are everywhere because we know it's almost here. I took off this week last year and toyed with the idea of taking it off this year - but I do have a lot to do and this is such a good time of year to buckle down and do things that never seem to get done. Culling files, etc. My assistant was teasing me yesterday 'cuz I've been putting a fair amount of shred in her shred bin and she doesn't notice it until she starts to shred and then realizes that most of it is 'mine' vs. hers. She's good-natured about it and I warned her that I'll be shredding a lot 'cuz I'm cleaning out files, etc. There 3 years almost and still working on 'making it my own'. We're getting there.....

We have a potluck tomorrow and then the Christmas party Saturday evening....karaoke is being planned. And I'm making baked beans and an appetizer. We're doing a gift exchange. It will be loads of fun and we're looking forward to it.

Anyone available to 'babysit' a 16 year old? Making sure he doesn't leave the house? (He can't drive anywhere 'cuz there's not a single car key anywhere he can find one. He also can't call or text anyone 'cuz we have his cell phone and we're not giving it back anytime soon). So your job would be fairly easy...just keep him in the house. We'll provide the pizza -

Any takers? No? Really?

Bummer.......

(not that I can blame you.....I'm not a taker either and I gave birth to him and live with him).

Happy Hump Day!!