The week has been reasonably uneventful - just work, work and more work for me and work, work and more (home) work for J.. H. is continuing to earn money via a system of promising to do stuff; mostly doing stuff and then getting an advance for the next time he promises to do stuff. It's working.
The appraiser was here on Wednesday - arriving shortly after we returned from finalizing our estate planning documents with our lawyer. I would have loved to make a day of it and been off but that wasn't possible. I resisted the urge to be here with the appraiser - and unlike the refi in the early 2000 where the guy drove by the house and came up with a number, this appraiser measured every single wall and was here for close to an hour. There have been some great sales in the neighborhood recently - many going for more than the asking price - so we are somewhat hopeful. We should know something more 'firm' this week.
The big news is: B. is coming home for Memorial Day weekend! He mentioned last week that he had a long weekend coming up and was hoping to be home. Only he'd also looked at airfares and realized that short notice trips are even more expensive. He asked us if we would pitch in - and we said a pleasantly toned 'um, no'. He has a good job now and he can afford to do what he wants - so he debated a day or so and then decided to go ahead and get here regardless of cost. He arrives late Thursday (almost Friday morning) and leaves mid-day Monday. I'm hoping to be off on Friday - working at home but here - and then he will have the weekend to spend time with friends. He'll have use of one of our cars - saving him renting one.
H.'s 20th birthday is also next Saturday and he wants something 'low-key'. Probably family dinner and then for dessert - brownies! His gift will be pitching in for a ticket to Houston to visit his friend - and that was another load of drama. H. has a job!! He starts tomorrow morning - but he thought since he wasn't working last week, we could just send him to Houston right now! Uh - no. The tickets were close to $1K for a few day trip - and that's not in our birthday present budget. So we said no. He was disappointed. So was I - I know he wants to go visit - and I know it's his birthday. But I can't justify spending that kind of money - so we said no. When he's been in the job a few months, he can hopefully ask for a long weekend off - planned in advance - and then we will buy him a ticket to Houston.
He will be moving home next weekend also - so it may come in really handy to have B. at home to help schlep stuff. H. is currently working on repainting his bedroom. The ocean blue walls of his youth are being returned to a more 'typical' beige-yellow which matches the rest of the house.
My lazy Sunday is officially ending after I publish this post - heading in for a long day of budget stuff. It's going better - I think I've figured out a 'method' that appears to be working and I have things lined up for my team to work on tomorrow while I'm in Sacramento attending a budget workshop. The last time my current boss and I will make that trek - and we will enjoy a final lunch at Dave Wong's which is our 'tradition'. I'm already missing him - but the search is progressing and I feel quasi-hopeful.
What will be will be and no amount of fretting is going to change that - so I'm trying to 'trust the process' and just keep moving through all I need to do.
Some days I'm better at that than others.
J. and I have had TWO nights out this weekend. On Friday, we saw Jeanne Robertson at the Gallo Center in Modesto - so, so funny! Last night, it was dinner and some vacation attire shopping for J. in Manteca. I have to force the guy to buy clothes! He did it! And JC Penney is back to great prices. We left with a lot of stuff for a reasonable amount of money - J. will be newly decked out for our beach trip in July.
Can't wait to see our oldest son - his list of must-do's include lattes in the morning (made by his Mama); lying on the couch with his dog; chillaxing with his brother; etc. . He was going camping with friends but there are no campsites available (you think?) so we'll see where they hang out. They're welcome to chill here if they'd like - we may even heat up the pool for them!
That's the haps for now....low-key and normal. Here's hoping this week finalizes the refinance (which would be the biggest, most amazing thing that could possibly happen and will allow us to stay comfortably in this home for the foreseeable future - and I don't want to move 'cuz I love this place and we've worked so hard on it and I don't want to have to do it all over again!) and progress on the budget so I can sleep better.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all....
My sister posted this pic on Facebook this morning - one of the rare photos of our Mom with all her children. Based on the attire and hair styles, we think it's early 80's. Also based on consensus, our brother had whispered something hysterically funny right before the photographer snapped the photo. This is a keeper for sure and I'm so glad my sister posted it. Yes, that's me on the right. My hair is curly from being permed. That's one of the things that helped us narrow the timing of the photo.
I've had a call from both sons - one is due here any minute (though his 'time frame' is often subject to last minute revisions). I've enjoyed a leisurely, somewhat lazy morning of good coffee, watching The Good Wife on Amazon Prime (FREE!) and tidying up my desk.
My sweet husband made me breakfast and just got home from church and Costco shopping and is making me lunch.
Son #1 asked what I was doing today and I replied 'probably working a bit later'.....he said 'Mom, take a day off!'. I know....and I am sort of. The system is probably still down at work so I sort of have to....glad they took it down for their monthly maintenance one week later than originally planned 'cuz it gives all of us mom's a reason to not work today!
Happy Mom's day to all - and especially to my Mom in heaven. Miss you, Mom!
My sister posted this pic on Facebook this morning - one of the rare photos of our Mom with all her children. Based on the attire and hair styles, we think it's early 80's. Also based on consensus, our brother had whispered something hysterically funny right before the photographer snapped the photo. This is a keeper for sure and I'm so glad my sister posted it. Yes, that's me on the right. My hair is curly from being permed. That's one of the things that helped us narrow the timing of the photo.
I've had a call from both sons - one is due here any minute (though his 'time frame' is often subject to last minute revisions). I've enjoyed a leisurely, somewhat lazy morning of good coffee, watching The Good Wife on Amazon Prime (FREE!) and tidying up my desk.
My sweet husband made me breakfast and just got home from church and Costco shopping and is making me lunch.
Son #1 asked what I was doing today and I replied 'probably working a bit later'.....he said 'Mom, take a day off!'. I know....and I am sort of. The system is probably still down at work so I sort of have to....glad they took it down for their monthly maintenance one week later than originally planned 'cuz it gives all of us mom's a reason to not work today!
Happy Mom's day to all - and especially to my Mom in heaven. Miss you, Mom!
Thursday, May 09, 2013
Officially Official
Press releases and everything - so my boss won't be my boss in another seven weeks or so. Darn it! I am very happy for him 'cuz this move is a great one for him - and he will likely be leading that district for decades and that's a wonderful thing for a school district. Great leadership that lasts is the best thing to hope for.
So now we hope.
It was a fast but incredibly productive four years and the things that he has set in motion are things I know we will keep going with the new Sup....so there's that.
It's budget time and I'm in my panic mode. Am getting up earlier and heading out the door as early as I can...but I am trying to get home by 5 or so - usually 'cuz if you are getting up at 4ish or so, you typically hit a wall of fatigue at some point - and 5ish is that time for me.
B. is officially in El Paso and it's the one teeny part of Texas that is only one hour ahead of us instead of two. It's been an adjustment to always be thinking of 'Georgia time'....now it's just a quick hour difference instead of several. He called yesterday to ask about what I'd like for Mother's Day - I want a call from him. That's it. He hinted he's sending something else that 'you're really going to love'....which is sweet of him. Heck, I'm just happy he remembered. He shipped $60 worth of boots and dress uniforms home so he didn't have to schlep them with him to Texas.
The arrived at the Atlanta airport so early (for their flight) they couldn't check in luggage yet! So they all (three guys) took a cab to a bowling alley and bowled for awhile! Any chance at recreation, they take!
Last night, J. asked 'do you want to go out to brunch for Mother's Day?'. The thought is lovely - but it's so, so crowded on that particular day. I said 'you can make me breakfast! German pancakes and crispy bacon!'. He said 'OK - but it will be late 'cuz....' and then it hit me! He went to music rehearsal on Tuesday night - so HE'S PLAYING MUSIC AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY MORNING. ALL MORNING. Oh my stinking heck!
The music director did an ingenious thing - he assigned musicians and singers to 'groups' so their schedule is pretty much set for the year. It happens that Group C (J.'s group) plays this weekend....
I guess that rotation eliminates the scramble to find people that will be available to play on special days. Right?
We'll see about Father's Day. I might have to arrange to not be home. :-)
H. has a job! It's a temp agency...but it looks like he will be assigned to a warehouse in Lathrop (about 10 minutes from Tracy). He volunteered to work swing shift 'cuz it fits his biological clock well and it pays 50 cents more an hour. We'll see. Anything is better than nothing....
He will move home in three weeks...which will be a big adjustment.
Time to get going and get to the office. Board prep looms today - which is actually a nice break from budget!
So now we hope.
It was a fast but incredibly productive four years and the things that he has set in motion are things I know we will keep going with the new Sup....so there's that.
It's budget time and I'm in my panic mode. Am getting up earlier and heading out the door as early as I can...but I am trying to get home by 5 or so - usually 'cuz if you are getting up at 4ish or so, you typically hit a wall of fatigue at some point - and 5ish is that time for me.
B. is officially in El Paso and it's the one teeny part of Texas that is only one hour ahead of us instead of two. It's been an adjustment to always be thinking of 'Georgia time'....now it's just a quick hour difference instead of several. He called yesterday to ask about what I'd like for Mother's Day - I want a call from him. That's it. He hinted he's sending something else that 'you're really going to love'....which is sweet of him. Heck, I'm just happy he remembered. He shipped $60 worth of boots and dress uniforms home so he didn't have to schlep them with him to Texas.
The arrived at the Atlanta airport so early (for their flight) they couldn't check in luggage yet! So they all (three guys) took a cab to a bowling alley and bowled for awhile! Any chance at recreation, they take!
Last night, J. asked 'do you want to go out to brunch for Mother's Day?'. The thought is lovely - but it's so, so crowded on that particular day. I said 'you can make me breakfast! German pancakes and crispy bacon!'. He said 'OK - but it will be late 'cuz....' and then it hit me! He went to music rehearsal on Tuesday night - so HE'S PLAYING MUSIC AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY MORNING. ALL MORNING. Oh my stinking heck!
The music director did an ingenious thing - he assigned musicians and singers to 'groups' so their schedule is pretty much set for the year. It happens that Group C (J.'s group) plays this weekend....
I guess that rotation eliminates the scramble to find people that will be available to play on special days. Right?
We'll see about Father's Day. I might have to arrange to not be home. :-)
H. has a job! It's a temp agency...but it looks like he will be assigned to a warehouse in Lathrop (about 10 minutes from Tracy). He volunteered to work swing shift 'cuz it fits his biological clock well and it pays 50 cents more an hour. We'll see. Anything is better than nothing....
He will move home in three weeks...which will be a big adjustment.
Time to get going and get to the office. Board prep looms today - which is actually a nice break from budget!
Monday, May 06, 2013
Nothing About Nothing
Nothing clever or witty or likely even remotely entertaining....such is the state of things....
The weekend was good. J. and I spent Saturday shopping for luggage! My suitcase totally fell apart (broken up fiber board mixed in and among my clothes was the first clue something was wrong) on the Georgia trip and J.'s lost the plastic 'legs' that help keep it upright. Two new beautiful suitcases will accompany us to Cancun in just seven short weeks....
We are mailing the final payment today. This year, more than any other time we've made the trip, is quite possibly the worst possible time to be away - but the condo is paid for; airfare is secured and darn it all - we are going.
I will have a new boss come July 1st. I won't be there on July 1st 'cuz I will be at the beach - so the first impression my new boss will have is 'she's spending 11 days at the beach during my first couple weeks as the new Superintendent'. Can't be helped...and I'm sure I'll meet whomever is in the job before I leave.
Yep...it's true. My boss is moving to his home district - a great and wonderful move for him. Eliminates a 40 minute commute (each way) and gives him more time to help his wife (who is a teacher) get their two young children to and from their various activities.
It's been a couple months that it's been a possibility and as the reality has slowly crept in, I'm working hard on accepting. Spent weeks listening to what can only be categorized as 'break up' songs - mourning his departure and our loss. He'd laugh and say 'what songs'? I'd say 'I'm not telling you 'cuz 99% of the song doesn't have anything to do with you - but there's usually a line or two that resonates and so I keep it on repeat and let it all sink in'.
To say he is a great Superintendent is an understatement. He is - truly one of the greatest - but it's also that he is truly a wonderful person. His 'core' is centered and ego-less and he's so much darn fun to work with that you forget (most of the time) that he's torturing you by pushing you to do things you'd (often) rather not be doing. But you do them...'cuz it's the direction he's leading.
We all follow.....
Now we will follow someone else.
I am heading in very early today - getting back into the groove of going in early and staying until the gates are about to be locked as I work on the new budget. New finance system is making this an entirely new adventure and it's a bit overwhelming and scary at the moment. I block full days on my calendar which usually leads to my boss coming in and saying 'hey, can you wedge in such and such 'cuz I looked at your calendar and you're booked solid'. For him, I say 'sure'. To everyone else, I say 'no, not [insert time increment here]. It's the only hope I have of not living in my office. I think my record one budget year was 45 straight days - and I'm desperately trying to have at least one weekend day off each week. Trying...but as the deadline approaches, I realize it's inevitable. Budget is the hardest time of year every single year and this year will be 10 times that given it's a process and a system that I'm totally new at....just like I was six years ago....
B. had a weekend pass and spent time in Columbus with friends - movies, Massage Envy, good food, smoking cigars and generally being young men on a mission to have some fun. He leaves for Ft. Bliss day after tomorrow and I hope to have a real physical address for him when he gets there. I miss writing him. Hopefully he will write back. We miss seeing pics of him and feeling at least a little connected to him. Now, it's like he has a 'job' - and he's not in touch much....which is hard on me (in particular).
H. got a call about a job that we hope will lead to something....anything. Not because the $ situation is that dire - they gave notice on the apartment; H.'s best friend of all time moved to Houston; H. has unemployment so he's not totally insolvent....but because I don't think H. does well with nothing to do. He needs to keep busy and stay motivated - or he gets sort of 'lost'. Hoping the phone call leads to an interview and a job that will keep him busy and have him making new friends.
He may move to Houston - his friend is scoping out the job market. So we'll see.....
Second cup of coffee on the horizon.....
OH - I hesitate to mention this lest I jinx it - but we may be able to refinance our mortgage! The loan is approved - just pending the appraisal - isn't that always the deciding factor? We are pretty confident we will be able to refinance - it will just be a matter of deciding we would be OK to pay PMI if we aren't at 80% LTV. We may be - but not positive....the appraisal should happen this week and we should know in a couple weeks what the official 'offer' is. Here's hoping....
The weekend was good. J. and I spent Saturday shopping for luggage! My suitcase totally fell apart (broken up fiber board mixed in and among my clothes was the first clue something was wrong) on the Georgia trip and J.'s lost the plastic 'legs' that help keep it upright. Two new beautiful suitcases will accompany us to Cancun in just seven short weeks....
We are mailing the final payment today. This year, more than any other time we've made the trip, is quite possibly the worst possible time to be away - but the condo is paid for; airfare is secured and darn it all - we are going.
I will have a new boss come July 1st. I won't be there on July 1st 'cuz I will be at the beach - so the first impression my new boss will have is 'she's spending 11 days at the beach during my first couple weeks as the new Superintendent'. Can't be helped...and I'm sure I'll meet whomever is in the job before I leave.
Yep...it's true. My boss is moving to his home district - a great and wonderful move for him. Eliminates a 40 minute commute (each way) and gives him more time to help his wife (who is a teacher) get their two young children to and from their various activities.
It's been a couple months that it's been a possibility and as the reality has slowly crept in, I'm working hard on accepting. Spent weeks listening to what can only be categorized as 'break up' songs - mourning his departure and our loss. He'd laugh and say 'what songs'? I'd say 'I'm not telling you 'cuz 99% of the song doesn't have anything to do with you - but there's usually a line or two that resonates and so I keep it on repeat and let it all sink in'.
To say he is a great Superintendent is an understatement. He is - truly one of the greatest - but it's also that he is truly a wonderful person. His 'core' is centered and ego-less and he's so much darn fun to work with that you forget (most of the time) that he's torturing you by pushing you to do things you'd (often) rather not be doing. But you do them...'cuz it's the direction he's leading.
We all follow.....
Now we will follow someone else.
I am heading in very early today - getting back into the groove of going in early and staying until the gates are about to be locked as I work on the new budget. New finance system is making this an entirely new adventure and it's a bit overwhelming and scary at the moment. I block full days on my calendar which usually leads to my boss coming in and saying 'hey, can you wedge in such and such 'cuz I looked at your calendar and you're booked solid'. For him, I say 'sure'. To everyone else, I say 'no, not [insert time increment here]. It's the only hope I have of not living in my office. I think my record one budget year was 45 straight days - and I'm desperately trying to have at least one weekend day off each week. Trying...but as the deadline approaches, I realize it's inevitable. Budget is the hardest time of year every single year and this year will be 10 times that given it's a process and a system that I'm totally new at....just like I was six years ago....
B. had a weekend pass and spent time in Columbus with friends - movies, Massage Envy, good food, smoking cigars and generally being young men on a mission to have some fun. He leaves for Ft. Bliss day after tomorrow and I hope to have a real physical address for him when he gets there. I miss writing him. Hopefully he will write back. We miss seeing pics of him and feeling at least a little connected to him. Now, it's like he has a 'job' - and he's not in touch much....which is hard on me (in particular).
H. got a call about a job that we hope will lead to something....anything. Not because the $ situation is that dire - they gave notice on the apartment; H.'s best friend of all time moved to Houston; H. has unemployment so he's not totally insolvent....but because I don't think H. does well with nothing to do. He needs to keep busy and stay motivated - or he gets sort of 'lost'. Hoping the phone call leads to an interview and a job that will keep him busy and have him making new friends.
He may move to Houston - his friend is scoping out the job market. So we'll see.....
Second cup of coffee on the horizon.....
OH - I hesitate to mention this lest I jinx it - but we may be able to refinance our mortgage! The loan is approved - just pending the appraisal - isn't that always the deciding factor? We are pretty confident we will be able to refinance - it will just be a matter of deciding we would be OK to pay PMI if we aren't at 80% LTV. We may be - but not positive....the appraisal should happen this week and we should know in a couple weeks what the official 'offer' is. Here's hoping....
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
El Paso!
B. got orders to report to Ft. Bliss in El Paso, Texas one week from today. He is very excited - mainly to 'know' what is next and to get going! It's been hard(est) on him to just be in 'pend' mode - doing work that he doesn't enjoy as 'busy work' while the wheels of assignment trudge along. Knowing where and when is a good forward step for him and he's ready.
The only disappointment is it doesn't look like he will get any leave in between, which is a bummer....but we're hoping we can arrange a long weekend trip to El Paso in the not-too distant future for a visit.
Ft. Bliss is an armored division - so I'm surprised they are sending an infantry soldier there - but guess they have guys on foot accompany the tanks.
I don't see how any parent alive can read that last sentence and not get a bit of a gut clenching feeling....
Accompanying a tank. On foot. So the foot guys scope things out for the guys in the huge, armored vehicle as it lumbers along.
Yee gads.....
The anxiousness I was feeling about what would be next for him has given way to just a general anxiousness....though he is safe at Ft. Bliss, they are making deployments to Jordan. 'That's good!' people say 'cuz Jordan are allies of the US. Translation: Jordan doesn't despise us and won't try to kill Americans....but every country bordering theirs would...so somehow, that's not comforting.
A friend at work said 'I don't know how you are doing this - you are so brave. If my son wants to join, I've told him I will break his legs so he can't.'. (She doesn't mean it....not really). I reply (as the parent of a young adult to the parent of a minor child still largely under parental control) 'if that's what he wants, you will support him. You don't think you will, but you will - because that's our job as parents. What they want, we want for them. And I'm not brave. My son is. I'm not. I just try to cope and get through the day(s) as best I can.'
There is much change afoot in my life and I'm struggling under the weight of ten thousand boulders....I will write about some of it soon. Today was a very hard day as the reality of what is happening sets in.
I know it will be OK. I am positive it will...but change is just so damn hard and we've endured such a huge amount of change in the last few years....just when it was getting easier, it will be back to incredibly hard....
More soon. If you're still out there reading, thanks.
The only disappointment is it doesn't look like he will get any leave in between, which is a bummer....but we're hoping we can arrange a long weekend trip to El Paso in the not-too distant future for a visit.
Ft. Bliss is an armored division - so I'm surprised they are sending an infantry soldier there - but guess they have guys on foot accompany the tanks.
I don't see how any parent alive can read that last sentence and not get a bit of a gut clenching feeling....
Accompanying a tank. On foot. So the foot guys scope things out for the guys in the huge, armored vehicle as it lumbers along.
Yee gads.....
The anxiousness I was feeling about what would be next for him has given way to just a general anxiousness....though he is safe at Ft. Bliss, they are making deployments to Jordan. 'That's good!' people say 'cuz Jordan are allies of the US. Translation: Jordan doesn't despise us and won't try to kill Americans....but every country bordering theirs would...so somehow, that's not comforting.
A friend at work said 'I don't know how you are doing this - you are so brave. If my son wants to join, I've told him I will break his legs so he can't.'. (She doesn't mean it....not really). I reply (as the parent of a young adult to the parent of a minor child still largely under parental control) 'if that's what he wants, you will support him. You don't think you will, but you will - because that's our job as parents. What they want, we want for them. And I'm not brave. My son is. I'm not. I just try to cope and get through the day(s) as best I can.'
There is much change afoot in my life and I'm struggling under the weight of ten thousand boulders....I will write about some of it soon. Today was a very hard day as the reality of what is happening sets in.
I know it will be OK. I am positive it will...but change is just so damn hard and we've endured such a huge amount of change in the last few years....just when it was getting easier, it will be back to incredibly hard....
More soon. If you're still out there reading, thanks.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Regrouped
In true soldiering on form, B. is doing better. He's already planning to be back at Airborne and RASP in a year - and is already working hard at that goal. I have never been more proud of him. He is such a determined guy - the disappointment is already past and he's moving forward at full speed ahead. He called this evening and he sounds much, much better - positive and motivated and still enjoying what he's doing....in spite of the disappointment of earlier this week.
He has friends he's hanging out with and tonight, they were going into town to go watch a televised fight at Buffalo Bill Wings (or something like that). It's good he's getting out and has guys to hang with.
Thankfully, he made it to the bank on base so he has a temporary debit card and is solvent once again. I'm greatly relieved he has ready cash so he can join friends doing things while he's off.
One of the biggest changes from being in Basic is the freedom of more normal Monday through Friday, 8-5ish hours. Although he did do a stint of 'Brigade' duty which meant he had to hang out at a desk for 24 hours - but he seemed to be enjoying that, too. Hung with a drill Sargent and another Lieutenant and enjoyed talking to them.
Last Saturday when we were there, we went shoe shopping and the young lady who waited on us was very sweet. B. bought new running shoes and some inserts. After we left the store, B. said 'I really want to give her my number'...and he was patting his pockets to see what he had - he said 'I don't have anything to write on'. I pulled a small notebook and a pen out of my purse, tore out a piece of paper and he wrote his name and cell phone number on it. He made J. and I wait outside ('I'm nervous so just wait here, kay?')....and he went back in. He came out and said 'she was with another customer but I went up and said 'S., I'm sorry to interrupt, I meant to give you this'. And he handed her the paper.
About 30 minutes later, he got a text from her with a comment of 'Bold move. I like bold. So now here's my name and number'. A series of texts followed - and in his 2nd bold move, B. asked if she could go for a run with him on Sunday. She instead invited him to go paddle-boarding with her and friends at Lake Oliver in Columbus. Her Sunday was fully booked - 'cuz her mom is a Methodist minister (so church!) and because S. was leaving on Tuesday for Cambridge (England!) where she is finishing her Master's in Theology.
We weren't sure what (if anything) would come from it - but they had a wonderful time on Sunday.
Funny story: when we were with her at the store on Saturday, she said to B. 'my friend C. - her last name is McMaster' - (all of our eyes got as big as saucers as we said almost simultaneously 'as in the Base Commander General McMaster?' who had just spoken at B.'s graduation the day before) and she said 'one and the same - he's her Dad'...so the event on Sunday afternoon was something C. was working at since the company she works for put on the event.
Afterwards, S. (who had picked up B. on the base) took C. home - so B. got to go in and meet General McMaster in person. They had a nice conversation -
S. and B. are communicating a lot from what we hear.....and he says 'she is really great'....with the sweet tone that comes from being completely smitten. And from what we see (we read her tweets), she feels the same.
It's so sweet - and I think having her to talk to is also helping him through the disappointments of the week.
Sure, it's early in a long-distance relationship and a zillion things could go wrong. But for now, B. seems to be hoping he ends up staying in Georgia for another couple months - she returns to Georgia at the end of May and he'd love to be around to see her before shipping out to wherever they send him.
I am grateful he seems resilient - though setbacks are hard, they aren't derailing him one bit. And for all the disappointment, he's doing a great job focusing on NOW and reminding himself of how far he has come - and we are very proud of him for even more reasons than we were this time last week.
He has friends he's hanging out with and tonight, they were going into town to go watch a televised fight at Buffalo Bill Wings (or something like that). It's good he's getting out and has guys to hang with.
Thankfully, he made it to the bank on base so he has a temporary debit card and is solvent once again. I'm greatly relieved he has ready cash so he can join friends doing things while he's off.
One of the biggest changes from being in Basic is the freedom of more normal Monday through Friday, 8-5ish hours. Although he did do a stint of 'Brigade' duty which meant he had to hang out at a desk for 24 hours - but he seemed to be enjoying that, too. Hung with a drill Sargent and another Lieutenant and enjoyed talking to them.
Last Saturday when we were there, we went shoe shopping and the young lady who waited on us was very sweet. B. bought new running shoes and some inserts. After we left the store, B. said 'I really want to give her my number'...and he was patting his pockets to see what he had - he said 'I don't have anything to write on'. I pulled a small notebook and a pen out of my purse, tore out a piece of paper and he wrote his name and cell phone number on it. He made J. and I wait outside ('I'm nervous so just wait here, kay?')....and he went back in. He came out and said 'she was with another customer but I went up and said 'S., I'm sorry to interrupt, I meant to give you this'. And he handed her the paper.
About 30 minutes later, he got a text from her with a comment of 'Bold move. I like bold. So now here's my name and number'. A series of texts followed - and in his 2nd bold move, B. asked if she could go for a run with him on Sunday. She instead invited him to go paddle-boarding with her and friends at Lake Oliver in Columbus. Her Sunday was fully booked - 'cuz her mom is a Methodist minister (so church!) and because S. was leaving on Tuesday for Cambridge (England!) where she is finishing her Master's in Theology.
We weren't sure what (if anything) would come from it - but they had a wonderful time on Sunday.
Funny story: when we were with her at the store on Saturday, she said to B. 'my friend C. - her last name is McMaster' - (all of our eyes got as big as saucers as we said almost simultaneously 'as in the Base Commander General McMaster?' who had just spoken at B.'s graduation the day before) and she said 'one and the same - he's her Dad'...so the event on Sunday afternoon was something C. was working at since the company she works for put on the event.
Afterwards, S. (who had picked up B. on the base) took C. home - so B. got to go in and meet General McMaster in person. They had a nice conversation -
S. and B. are communicating a lot from what we hear.....and he says 'she is really great'....with the sweet tone that comes from being completely smitten. And from what we see (we read her tweets), she feels the same.
It's so sweet - and I think having her to talk to is also helping him through the disappointments of the week.
Sure, it's early in a long-distance relationship and a zillion things could go wrong. But for now, B. seems to be hoping he ends up staying in Georgia for another couple months - she returns to Georgia at the end of May and he'd love to be around to see her before shipping out to wherever they send him.
I am grateful he seems resilient - though setbacks are hard, they aren't derailing him one bit. And for all the disappointment, he's doing a great job focusing on NOW and reminding himself of how far he has come - and we are very proud of him for even more reasons than we were this time last week.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Pride
There are other posts in draft stage - sort of a travelogue of the trip. All the spectacularly amazing things that happened that had my heart soaring most of the time, though also had a lump in my throat. Simultaneously. What a wonderful week....I might post them later - they need refining and I have no time to refine at the moment. Being off for six wonderful days has led to the hardest 'vacation return' ever - and it sure as heck isn't helping that my assistant is off this week. Boy - I miss her. All the little things she does that I don't have to think about are on my plate - so I'm getting to nothing 'big' - but I will.
Leaving B. was so incredibly hard. Broke my heart to drive away as he gave a little wave. Like when he was five and heading to kindergarten. Since I caught the tail end of his wave, I felt compelled to give the horn a little honk to get his attention - and he waved again only with a slightly more 'oh, come on mom' look to it. We had talked about goodbyes....how they are hard so let's just let it be once we've done it. But did I risk him thinking we didn't care about his wave? Couldn't do that. Turned out (via text) he was fine with it.
So it's now Wednesday and yesterday morning, B. had a crushing disappointment. He failed his Physical Test on Monday morning - and sadly failed the retest on Tuesday morning as well. So he's out of Airborne - and RASP - and pretty much any 'elite' squad. To say he's been having a hard time with that is the understatement of the millennium and there's not much we can do to help him through it. We are trying. Reminding him that he DID accomplish an amazing goal of getting a RASP contract out of Basic - nearly impossible from what he'd been told during the enlistment process. But he DID IT. We couldn't be any prouder of him - no matter what - but still, of course, he is disappointed.
So for now, he's awaiting his next assignment. J. and I have read a lot and it's possible - not likely - but possible - he could be 'recycled' and given another shot in a few weeks. In the mean time, he's doing 'incredibly boring' stuff and is pretty miserable. But we figure miserable is good - considering they could ship him up to the infantry battalion right there on base (where he was originally assigned to before he made RASP in Basic) and they haven't yet. We are hopeful that's a good sign? We don't want to say that to him 'cuz it might give him false hope - and we don't want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed again. But we hope.
Some guys out of Basic who had RASP and decided not to do it were offered placements in PARIS and HAWAII! Wouldn't that be lovely? Not likely - but we are focusing on possibilities because those are more encouraging.
Whatever happens, we are steadfastly impressed with his motivation and dedication. Damn push ups. He missed by two. TWO.
This turn of events hasn't lessened the highlights of last week; the pride we feel for what B. has accomplished and that he is, in fact, officially a soldier in the United States Army.....
Parenting is hard. Damn hard.
Leaving B. was so incredibly hard. Broke my heart to drive away as he gave a little wave. Like when he was five and heading to kindergarten. Since I caught the tail end of his wave, I felt compelled to give the horn a little honk to get his attention - and he waved again only with a slightly more 'oh, come on mom' look to it. We had talked about goodbyes....how they are hard so let's just let it be once we've done it. But did I risk him thinking we didn't care about his wave? Couldn't do that. Turned out (via text) he was fine with it.
So it's now Wednesday and yesterday morning, B. had a crushing disappointment. He failed his Physical Test on Monday morning - and sadly failed the retest on Tuesday morning as well. So he's out of Airborne - and RASP - and pretty much any 'elite' squad. To say he's been having a hard time with that is the understatement of the millennium and there's not much we can do to help him through it. We are trying. Reminding him that he DID accomplish an amazing goal of getting a RASP contract out of Basic - nearly impossible from what he'd been told during the enlistment process. But he DID IT. We couldn't be any prouder of him - no matter what - but still, of course, he is disappointed.
So for now, he's awaiting his next assignment. J. and I have read a lot and it's possible - not likely - but possible - he could be 'recycled' and given another shot in a few weeks. In the mean time, he's doing 'incredibly boring' stuff and is pretty miserable. But we figure miserable is good - considering they could ship him up to the infantry battalion right there on base (where he was originally assigned to before he made RASP in Basic) and they haven't yet. We are hopeful that's a good sign? We don't want to say that to him 'cuz it might give him false hope - and we don't want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed again. But we hope.
Some guys out of Basic who had RASP and decided not to do it were offered placements in PARIS and HAWAII! Wouldn't that be lovely? Not likely - but we are focusing on possibilities because those are more encouraging.
Whatever happens, we are steadfastly impressed with his motivation and dedication. Damn push ups. He missed by two. TWO.
This turn of events hasn't lessened the highlights of last week; the pride we feel for what B. has accomplished and that he is, in fact, officially a soldier in the United States Army.....
Parenting is hard. Damn hard.
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