End of May

There is something about the end of May.....historically in this family, the end of May has a lot of drama.  May, 2012, is living up to that reputation.

Tomorrow is the day my mom died - 12 years ago. 

H.'s birthday is at the end of May and that's a wonderful occasion.  His birthday is always around Memorial Day....weather warming up and summer officially starting.  That's a nice thing that's happened at the end of May.

A couple years ago, we were dealing with H.'s issues and wondering what in the heck to do with him.  Two years forward and he's better.  I'm pretty sure of that most of the time though I can still have wild and crazy moments.  He humors me.  I love him for it.  He doesn't really have a lot of choice at the moment - no job, no way to support himself - so he has to stay here with us.  So torturing him is the trade off.

Yesterday, J. mentioned he had a doctor's appointment at 8AM and a one on one (on the phone) with his boss scheduled for 8:30 - and when he asked his boss if they could move it to a little later since he had an appointment, she refused.  I was concerned about that - seemed odd.  And combined with other things that he's experienced lately, I've had my guard up for some time. 

Sure enough, his boss let him know - over the phone when he was in his car on the way home - advising him that she had an HR person in her office with her and suggesting he pull over - that after 37 years, his position is being eliminated.  Three years away from his full retirement age and three years before he planned to retire. 

He's going through the regular emotions - shock, anger, sadness and acceptance.  He will tell you that it's been easier for him because he says I am not freaking out so he's not freaking out.  And honestly, I have no doubt we are going to be absolutely fine.  The severance package is generous and once his severance ends, he can start drawing his pension.  That with unemployment (they will not contest the claim and he will qualify for UI as long as he looks for a job - what are the odds a 64+ guy will find a job?) when the severance ends should get us to his full retirement age of 66 when he can start drawing social security. 

It's helped me not freak out to have a raging infection that has kept me home from work and in bed most of the day.  I actually called in sick - first time in years - and stayed home.  I hope to be at work tomorrow but we'll  see.  I feel 'weak' and wobbly when I'm up and about and that's my clue to just stay horizontal and enjoy movies on my Kindle, reading and sleeping a lot.  I just feel too bad to worry too much....and I know we will be fine.  So why worry?

It's a new beginning in many ways.  He is getting to semi-retire earlier than he imagined.  I'm not sure the enormity of it has set in - he is done with working for the foreseeable future.   He may substitute teach for 'fun'.  He may volunteer.  He has promised that he will make exercise a part of his daily routine - and I'm writing that down here to make sure he knows that commitment is a must-do.  This is the chance to do things he enjoys.

The kids know and are pretty 'non' about it all.  In that one area, I am far from 'non'.  B. needs to make arrangements to be on his own as soon as possible.  Sooner than as soon as would be lovely.  There are a variety of things going on with him that make me feel that way - and then I factor in the drain on our monthly budget he adds and that's my primary motivation for suggesting (strongly) that he needs to move out.  The alternative is to pay us room and board.  No other options.  He will be 22 in January and that's long enough to be 'dependent'. 

H. can stay through school....and he still needs to get a job and make that a priority.  Period.  The Bank of Mom and Dad is shutting down because 50% of the bank is no longer working. 

It will all be OK.  I have no doubt about that.  I feel totally calm about the future.  We are blessed and we will be fine.  Just fine. 

J. will work through June.  He intends to continue to go into San Fran every week for a couple days.  He's a trooper -